We're now halfway and it's PMA all the way - Nov 2011

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Halfway there now ladies. on the countdown.

I'm starting ML on 22nd September for lots of reasons. Am I the earliest? I hope I don't go over, I'll be bored to death! I am due on 28th Oct though so 22nd Sept doesn't sound too bad when I say it like that....

Ps Ive got my dream Genii from when I had DD - such a good investment. I am only just using it again now which is quotes bit later than last time.

My only criticism is how bloody awkward it is to get the cover on again after washing it. Nightmare!

MrsA thank you so much for the response! Am going to digest it and then respond. Also going to let the OH read it too! Thank u again so much!

I'm starting mat leave last weds in sept, not sure of date....

On phone so will post properly in a bit :-)

Wow,MrsA, you are brilliant! If I hadn't have 4 CS's and didn't have placenta praevia, I would be marching in there demanding a HB myself!

Thanks for sharing all you ML details, I don't feel so worried now. I'll be 3 weeks off 2 holiday and 1 mat leave.

I'm having the conversation about how risky they consider me at the end of Aug after my ecg and gtt, they better batten down the hatches if they call me anything other than low risk after hopefully good test results.

Hello everyone

Cali hope gtt test ok. Thanks for the warning about the amount of blood they might take.

Alicat hope bump on your head ok today.

Kellykat I am taking v early maternity leave as I don't want to get signed off sick again if I am struggling. As holidays are now this means I won't be working again until sept next year although may have to go back to work earlier if money saved doesn't stretch.

Dh at funeral overseas this weekend so all on my own. He is taking a weeks holiday soon so looking forward to that. At last we can try out some buggies. My parents visiting in two weeks so my dad can do some DIY for us. Must look at bathroom cabinets online today as we need one on the wall to.clear some of our clutter. Are any other first timers looking at their home and thinking how much it needs to be done to make it child proof?

Re birth plans I have what I would like if possible but accept that this may not happen. Totally confused by the whole induction v c section debate. Panorama programme did raise some questions for my next hospital visit.

Anyone see one born every minute USA? I can't understand why they are always flat on their back in bed. Is it just the ones I happen to have seen or standard practice?

A quick question for second and third timers - what did you do to avoid tearing or at least minimalise it? Have fear of tearing and being stiched.

cookie I see lots that we would need to change for a toddling child- I know that from having pals' kids round...open shelves, bookcases not secured to the walls, open stairs- yikes. I'm also fixated a bit on things that I would now like done which have nothing to do with baby coming...woodwork painted, garden wall painted, new blinds in three rooms. Then there's the 'baby's room' to be decorated. Gah!

Oh I just stopped watching One Born USA, didn't feel it was very representative of birth over here. I think the practice over there to be on back and very interventionist and epidurals as standard.

Also, you could develop delivery-room envy. The labour wards are very, very nice!

Morning, MrsA I have re read your post and can honestly say it has really really made me feel a lot more positive! I know that they can only advise against a homebirth but when you are sat there with them arguing the point with you you do feel a bit vulnerable! There are no other complications apart from my BMI. I hate this BMI thing - Am still in pre-pregnancy clothes fgs!

OBEM USA..... Come in, lie down, be monitored, have an epidural, mask up, deliver. Nice room though!!

I am off to the air show as it is OH's birthday. Am too irritated with him to want to go if am honest. Yesterdays classic line of 'well they are professionals and who are we to argue with them' has pretty much done for my mood with him! Bah!

Have a lovely day everyone :) x

hello ladies, once again i've turned into a lurker, mainly due to work pressures but wanted to pop in and say hi, also with a massive PMA this week . Took a trip to kiddicare in peterborough this week, and despite the 5 hour round trip (a14 hell) I cannot fault them. I've NEVER had such good customer service anywhere - and by at least 5 different staff members, bloody awesome. Everything carried to my car (bonus), they all knew their stuff, prices were a LOT cheaper than elsewhere, and when i'd picked up the last of something that was the display model they discounted it without me even asking. Genius. Somehow, despite spending an obscene amount of money i felt good about it? not sure how that works !!!

Anyways, got a dream genii just in time as my back / pelvis pain has been getting progressively worse and its just lovely .....went for the recaro babyzen travel system thingy - DH's choice not mine (and just as well he's paying!) ...and got pretty much everything else we need. Oh, and got a bargain on a pacapod this week too. I'd discounted them as being too expensive but I subscribe to a magazine and that gave me 15% off so I went for it ....now to eat baked beans for the rest of the month

Am off to get my hair done today to make me feel a bit more human, dont know about anyone else but after 8 or so weeks of feeling awesome this week has been a bit of a struggle, tiredness and back pain creeping in again ....

Oh, and I think i'm the slacker of the bunch - mat leave from sept 16th. In my defence, whilst im officially due nov 5th we dont think i'll get that far and it may well be an e-cs (hopefully find out a week on fri) and i have a 3 hour commute to work. Given how tired i am right now it seemed sensible ......

And finally (she says moving away from self-absorbed post) mrsa you're awesome. Can you come and bat my corner whenever i'm feeling, well, a little bit wibbly ?

I am quite embarrassed by your very kind comments, thank you and glad to help.

Just to be clear, I am not against doctors. In face if I am ill, if my baby comes too early or if my life is in danger, then hospital is absolutely the place I want to be, looked after by well trained professionals.
I think the problem arises because doctors in hospital see worst case scenario all the time and forget that most births are fine and do not need medical assistance. They don't seem to get the fact that birth shouldn't be a medical emergency and so treat all woman as if things may go wrong at anytime.

This is when things go wrong, as the true emergencies - the woman who really need to be in hospital on a monitor - can be missed as they treat ALL woman the same. The true emergencies can go undetected and that's when you hear the horror stories.
IMO if more women gave birth at home or in MLU, then the consultant wards would be left for those who genuinely need extra attention and facilities and their experience wouldn't be one of being left alone, busy, rushed staff etc etc.

Did you know that the majority of c-sections performed for 'fetal distress' end up with babies having an Agpar score of over 7 and so the baby probably wasn't in distress in the first place! During labour, lots of babies appear temporarily in distress cos labour is a tough old process. But if left a bit longer, most babies are fine and not in true distress at all but the first instinct is to do an EMCS. That's why constant monitoring can be misleading.

As a final point, some areas will try to get a woman into hospital if she wants a HB by saying they have too many HBs already and they haven't a midwife to send out to you, when you call in labour. You have a legal right to be attended by a mw when in labour and so keep insisting they send one and they have to get one of their bank midwives or even an IM out to you. There is always a midwife to be found.
And don't forget, if you go for a HB, you can change your mind at any stage and go into hospital - pre labour or during labour. You will never be turned away from a hospital (though you can be sent to a different one if yours is full!)

I've done it again - gone on and on. Here's to all women getting the labour/birth they want, be it HB, MLU or hospital - the place they feel the safest.
Have a fab w/emd all.

voodoo I'm 100% with you. I haven't had my chat re my BMI and MLU yet but I am pretty determined. My OH is the same as yours (airshows as well lol) he has great faith in the hospital and thinks what they say must be the right way. It makes it doubly hard when you feel on your own fighting you corner. But stick with it.

I've been advised by an ex mw she said to me, start using their language - woman centred care, patient choice etc and they start to lose ground. In our hospital there is a consultant mw who focuses on normal and natural births. I'm goig to ask to see her if I don't get comfort from my appt at the end of the month.

As MrsA says always as if the options are patient centred or policy centred - if they reply patient then ask how come. What is special abut you in particular makes this a certainty and how do nthey know if they haven't examined you.

Afternoon all,

Hope you are all enjoying the sun, it's lovely up here in Perthshire anyway, just watched DH mow the lawn, normally my job, but he's done it for me without even being asked to :)

Went out this morning and ordered the cot bed and a set of drawers for the baby's room so feel fairly well prepared now, going to decorate in three weeks or so and then set everything up and apart from a monitor and clothes/bedding top-ups I think we are just about done, with that and paying for our newer car yesterday it's been horribly expensive though!!!

I am due to start maternity leave on 21st october, have to manage to get to that point too as I have a deadline on that day and really need to be able to still be at work then, but on the plus side I figure that gives me at least two weeks at home before my due date and first babies are often late so might even manage another week of chilling out. I have started my hand over to a colleague so even if I have to go off earlier I shouldnt have left things in too big a mess, or at least thats the plan!!!

LK, we went to Kiddicare when we were down that way on holiday last month and although we didnt buy much I was really impressed with the customer service and the ability to look at so many different things and compare them in the flesh so to speak.

Off to potter this afternoon, have a pile of laundry to iron and bought some furniture, so have to clear a space for it go into next week when we collect it from the shop, mind mostly to potter!!

Looking forward to the edinburgh meet-up tomorrow ladies, might get there just a little early and do some knitting whilst I wait :)

Afternoon all! It's gorgeous weather here in the Midlands as well (I should take the laptop outside...)

I'm taking 2 weeks holiday at start of November, then starting Mat leave on 14th Nov (EDD 22nd). I wanted as much time after the birth as possible, but have already starting thinking about making my commute a bit easier for the last month or so (there's a bus I can take instead of walking a mile to the train station, not nice but it gets me where I'm going!).

Definitely going to give Kiddicare a go!

We are lucky in that my parents have offered to buy our pushchair, and in-laws have offered to buy a carseat. Having to explain pushchairs to my dad though is hard work! He really doesn't understand... And having offered to buy it he's now complaining about the cost (we've offered to pay half, but I think he'd rather pay for the lot and moan about it).

Trying to get the house sorted one step at a time - the nursery has been my study for a while now, so finding homes for a desk, computer and hundreds of books (I kid you not) has been tricky. One step at a time!

I'm off to join TwoJackRussells and do my ironing!

Hello all!
Still relaxing at my parents in Surrey but back to Copenhagen on Wednesday and already thinking about a vile presentation I have to do on Friday. Also my DD changes from nursery to kindergarten next week so only in a couple of hours a day - not sure how its all going to work out.

Re. maternity leave, not all first-timers are late...I wish I had gone off on maternity leave earlier last time because DD was a month early and I only had a couple of days off. So this time I hope to be off six weeks before.

My birth plan is in my local hospital again, which is a very short bus ride up the road. I know a few Danish women who have cycled there to give birth!
I also had a great experience with both midwives and doctors - it was unexpected and really intensely painful birth but I had a walking epidural that was perfectly executed so I could have a break (I actually called my mum and a couple of friends to tell them I was in labour!) then dialled down so I could feel everything to push. Pushing only took 17mins and then we were left to chill with the baby, my husband was also stripped to his chest so dd could snuggle with him. Then I walked to another ward and unfortunately had to stay a while there, initially because DD was a little shy of "full-term" and then because my milk/bf didn't click into place well. But they were really helpful and my the time I left, everything was going well and I ending up bf until 10 months.

I just hope I am as lucky again with the birth. Also, I have to acknowledge that my decision-making, if you could call it that, is in a totally different system in a different country. If my local hospital was here (Mayday), I would definitely be looking at ANY other option, based on what some of my friends have gone through there :)

Its empowering to research, visualise, plan and organise your birth but I suppose the important thing is to be a little flexible with yourself too and not put too much value judgement on it - so if you end up on Plan C, its just a different path, not the worst path. That way, you won't end up feeling rubbish and disappointed.

I haven't done any baby shopping here, but found gazillions of mint condition lovely clothes in the loft, so the first six months are sorted. I did knick a massive slow-cooker from my mum (TK Maxx bargain) which I am shipping over. I reckon that will be helpful this winter, just bunging lots of meat and vegetables in then going off to baby cinema :) Deluded, maybe. I did loads of group things and activities with friends last time, but it was a glorious summer and autumn. More likely to be stuck indoors if this winter is as fierce as last.

No worries Folic. Probably best you keep it and don't use it rather then sell and kick yourself for it. You may use it later on or for BF? It'll hold it's value as ebayer's won't know when you bought it so will still be worth something. Think I'll buy at Mothercare as I get 7.5% discount through work and it's in a 3for2 sale at the moment. Win win.
As for ML, I think I'll leave on 30th Oct whether that is some hol or not I'll decide later. I only get 6 weeks at 90% then 33 weeks at statutory as I've not been here a year. Fair enough I suppose.
I also have a GTT at 28weeks as my late Dad had type 2 diabities so it's standard practice apparently.
The only thing I've bought for baby so far is a hat saying cariad (darling in Welsh) and a bib with Welsh for 'time for food' on. Dh is Welsh and I thought he couldn't shout at me if it was Welsh!

I'm getting extremely battered by this wee boy. I hope he chooses to play for England I think they need some of this fire power.

Got started clearing the "nursery", my my it'll take ages.

Se all the Edinburghers tomorrow.

My one is also giving me good kicks and sometimes a punch at the same time so get it on both sides. He can play football for England, will be British for tennis and play rugby for Scotland as I don't follow football but do like the rugby. Have told dh that have been singing flower of Scotland to bump!

Not a lot going on here - after a lot of tantrums from DD whilst at a shopping centre on Thurs I think I'm back to square 1 with my back pain but have another chiro appt on Thur, yay. Had a lovely day y'day - DH got the LOs up and took them to the park so I slept til 11 then we went for a mooch round the Harbour Festival and lazed in the sun watching various circus acts. Soft play party to go to today which is a bit of a shame as such lovely weather but the kids will love it and wear themselves out. Just got to make a came as poor DS generally can't have the official birthday one

Cake even

Thanks Pam and MrsA, I really appreciate you both (and all others that did as well!) taking the time to answer my rant! Had a lovely day yesterday (against the odds lol) enjoyed the airshow and made a lovely birthday tea for the OH. I even succumbed to about 3 inches of wine in celebration mode! Then went to bed quite late and slept solidly for 8 hours which is unusual in itself! Today I have got up feeling motivated to really get my thoughts together and know my topic so when I next see MW or the hospital (7 weeks) that I can state my case.

I have tried the woman centred care and patient choice statements but I think I am going to weave them into a question about care specific to me. I really feel that it is a case of being totally risk averse - understandable in these times in a way- but frustrating! If anything does change and I do have more risk factors then I am totally prepared for changing my view points.

Back to work tomorrow :( I am going to work solidly for the next 3 weeks then I think I am going to see if I can take week 5 of school hols as hols as I am off week 6, I will go back the 1st week of the new school year, work for 3 weeks and start ML. I am looking forward to it. I will only be going back part time so not too worried about how long I have off and to be honest I may actually be job hunting rather than have a job to go back to at the end of my Mat Leave. Also fine as I have a place to start my MA the following Jan :) - that is my PMA for the day!

I am wondering if Kiddicare have a website as I dont think there are any near me....

Kiddicare is mainly web-based - I think they just have 1 big shop in Peterborough - I have bought loads from their web-site over the years

Morning everyone! How did the move go H007?

voodoo I think Kiddicare is mainly a website and they only have one store which is a massive one in Peterborough. LK and TwoJackRussells do they do lots of cots etc as well there? I've only heard abou the prams. I'm about an hour away from Peterborough so must make a trip!

Regarding OBEM - agree with everyone else, its so different from the UK version and doesn't seem relevant.

Very excited today - DP proposed last night! It was sunset at the cathedral and were walking round trying to catch a glimse of the peregrin falcon which was making a load of noise around there (DP was very pleased with the timing of the falcon as an extra interest!) not totally a suprise as we discussed it when we got pregnant but now all official. Yeah! So if nothing else I'll have a wedding to keep me busy if I have lots of time on mat leave before the birth. We'll be getting married ASAP dependant on finding a good venue and the finances of course.

Gorgeous weather here today, unfortunately DP is golfing all day but have the girls coming round later to have a butchers at the ring and lots of phonecalls to make.

My mat leave starts on the 21st November (DD 29th) but I have lots of holiday so I'll be leaving on 7th Nov as latest.

Enjoy the sun all! Unfortunately I will be spending the next hour or so trying to find a decent maternity bra after failing yesterday...shops here seem to have stopped stocking 36Cs! So annoyed as only got measured 3 weeks ago and should have stood my ground more with the woman who insisted 34 would last me months even though it was so tight.

Ah Sunshinehugs! Congrats, thats lovely news!

I have found kiddicare, thanks!