We're now halfway and it's PMA all the way - Nov 2011

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Halfway there now ladies. on the countdown.

H007 good luck with the move!

I moved into my current house just over 8 years ago, and I remember lying in bed that night, exhausted, looking all around me and thinking 'I love my home so much that I can't see how I will ever have a day's unhappiness again'. Rather an unrealistic expectation to project onto my house (which is a perfectly ordinary semi-detached house!) It must be like pregnancy, moving house must release hormones that make you lose sight of all reason!! It still ranks as one of the most exciting days of my life though, when we closed the door behind us that night, I felt like I was 'home' - our first house was nice and everything, but it never felt like 'home'.

All the best.

Oh H007 best of luck. So exciting. Moving can be stressful but there is nothing to beat sitting surrounded by boxes in your new home looking at the potential and the future with butty and a mug of tea :) . I hope you enjoy it!

I put my Mat B1 form in yesterday - at the same time I got the smack across the head dose of reality! I'm actually having a baby!

I put 5th Nov as the start of maternity, due the 12th. Probably too ambitious but it will stretch cash out further and I'm taking 2 weeks holiday before then.

H007 good luck with your move!

Happy Moving Day H007!

I've put in for my mat leave and holidays this week too but have actually put in an earlier date than I think I will need with the intention that if want to stay on I can, rather than have to ask to leave sooner. Was a bit scary though as kept thinking if I could push it to right before the birth would be much better as more time with baby at other end. Will just see how it goes, I'm knackered already with recruiting two posts to cover my own and trying to get projects completed over the next two months so maybe be good to have a few weeks just to chill and do last minute things in October. I'm a bit in the dark really about it all in terms of how much I'll need and how tired I'll be at that point. What are you second and third and fourth and fifth timers doing?

MooseyMoo I had way to much fun yesterday looking through the Baby Name Stats. I find the trends rather interesting - the very 'normal' names of my first two have dropped like rocks, my third's unusual name has gone up, and none of my short-list made the top 500! In fact, our top middle name for a boy is more popular than any of our first name choices (and I started thinking of it as a middle name as everyone said it was too old and weird ).

H007 Best wishes for the move!

Folicacid I'd talk to any other women in your work place as I find these things to be very industry-based - some industries take very different looks at maternity leave than others. And you need to look at yourself and your own needs so possibly discuss with your boss about how flexible the leaving date can be just in case (I'm self-employed, so no maternity leave here, so I'm basing this on the experience of others I've known).

Afternoon all. Who was asking about Carpal Tunnel? I already had it before I was pregnant. Had an op on one hand and was due to get the release op on the other before I found out about the bump! You have my empathy as it is awful. I have splints to keep my hands straight to try and keep the pressure off so to speak.

Just back from yet another hospital appointment at the new hospital. Still a big fat no on the MLU and they are insisting on consultant care. BMI is just slightly over the cut off point. I apparently have only put on minimal weight and there are no other issues at all. I said fine no MLU then homebirth and they went pale. So thats a no too. Utterly hacked off! Gotta go back in 7 weeks when will be 32 weeks and 'discuss my wishes further'. The consultant did say that if the only option to me pushing for a homebirth was to support me to go to the MLU then they would have to consider the options. Hmm. Quite annoyed really. Don't particularly want to go to hospital to deliver. Certainly don't want to put the baby at risk but I have 2 other kids that wont exactly want to be away from home for ages and I don't want to be away from them either! I also do not want to stay alone on post natal as that was the worst part both previous times..... Struggling to have any PMA today :(

Voodoo sorry your appt didn't go well but I hope you have the chance to change their minds at your 32 week appt. I can imagine its quite unsettling not to know what your plan is though.

I am loving the baby stats and am noting their positions on the ones we have long listed - I think the most popular won't make it to the short list but some of our names don't appear at all which is good (they're not crazy names either!). I think I will have to create a spreadsheet!

Mat leave I haven't got my Mat B1 form yet but I've requested that my maternity leave start on 31 October. My due date is 13 Nov so that gives me 2 weeks plus extra time! I have requested 9 months maternity and then I'll add all my accrued leave onto the end of that as our holiday year runs Oct-Sept so will actually have just over ten months off.

Baby Jogger Mmm, this was hubby's favourite when we went shopping but I discounted because of the carry cot issue (this being a PFB and all!). Am now thinking I need to revisit it as an option - I like the 4 wheeler best so will try and find a stockist to go and have a look.

Hope everyone has a great weekend.

mashpot have you seen the info here? jogger bassinet and car seat options www.babyjogger.co.uk/accessories.html This website also has a list of stockists.

The carrycot/bassinet does look a wee bit weird in comparison to traditional pram travel system but at least it's ony for a few months and then you have a light weight stroller.

Sorry I'm rubbish - try again www.babyjogger.co.uk/accessories.html

Good luck today H!

Pam I'm also due 12th Nov and working up to 4th. I figure if it gets too tough I can ring in sick and they'll start my mat leave early! But would rather try and have as much time off as possible!

Poppet I want to hear more about the message you got... that sounds mad that she would just come up to you out of the blue! I'm always intrigued by these things.

Had a lovely nights sleep with my dream genii last night until my DH woke me up and then elbowed me in the side of my head! Have a nice little bruise starting to come up now :-( Have no idea what he was doing and he doesn't remember it! I still had a headache when I woke up this morning!

MW tomorrow, and we should finally (hopefully if they haven't changed their bloody guidelines again) get to hear our babies heartbeat! Hopefully find out a bit more about my birth options and ante natal class etc too!

Counted today I have 55 working days remaining, that's taking into account holidays and weekends. Sounds pretty good to me!

Oh and thanks for the baby names lists! x

GTT done - what a trip! I almost fainted when she took the first bloods (6 tubes! She decided to do my 28 week bloods while we were at it...), and my fasting prick test was 5.7, which apparently is borderline diabetic anyway :(

After me lying flat for a while they gave me Lucozade in the prettiest brown bottle (which they let me keep because I liked it so much... "Weirdest request ever" according to the ward nurse...). Half-flat sugary fizz has never tasted so good!

I managed to nap in the clinic room while recovering from the fainting, and woke myself up by snoring loudly! Poor midwives must've been so annoyed with me...

Second bout of bloods was just the one tube, and I immediately treated myself to buttered toast and milky tea in the hospital restaurant - by this point I was absolutely ravenous.

Now we wait to see if I have to prick and inject myself every day :(

Woohoo!! Just won a dreamgenii pillow off eBay and am so excited that I might actually get a decent night sleep in a few days, I might just pee my self :o

I'm sorry to hear about your birth plan problems voodoo, I can understand how you feel. I'd love to go into a MLU, my nearest has a vg reputation, but due to a heart defect (mine) I have to go all the way to Manchester :( We have to 'discuss' my plan at 28 weeks, which will probably involve going in before my due date (the 10th) then probably being induced if it doesn't start straight away. I have resigned myself to an epidural (helps relax the heart and lungs), but really want to be able to move about and do some yoga exercises in the first stage. I hope it's not going to be too much of a battle with the specialists?! I have written down what I think is feasible, so fingers crossed . Do you think, voodoo, you could ask for a compromise - ie go into hospital, but have only a midwife led team, with the specialists on standby just in case? Ask to be able to bring your own music and comforts into the delivery suit? But please don't have your baby in a field - just think of last November, it was bl**dy freezing, and you might get a nettle up the bum

Re the discussion about maternity leave, I think it's an individual thing. I had to finish at 20weeks and go on SSP (cardiologists orders - and I'm not really complaining), but I'm an odd case. I was asking a couple of girls at work a few weeks ago. They said that they finished 2weeks before their due dates, but were knackered for their last 2weeks of work, and wished they'd taken a month off instead, just to prepare themselves and get plenty of rest before the delivery and all hell breaking loose. If I was 'normal' I'd def take a month off. My mum was saying that 'back in her day' everyone finished at 26weeks as standard (she was a teacher), but times do change.

Fingers crossed about the blood test results caliphora, I hope it'll work out fine for you - and that you get plenty of rest this afternoon (sounds like you definitely need it)

xx

stripey how much did you get your dream genii for on ebay I've not really got on with mine so was thinking about selling it.

Cali fingers crossed there will be no daily prick.

Voodoo I don't see how they can say no to a homebirth, isn't that a right? Mrs Arch will be able to help with that maybe?

Gawd I'm feeling a bit lazy compared to you lot, I've put in to start annual/mat leave 3rd October, so practially 5 weeks. Still, that's with the thinking that I can stay on. My work are mainly flexible so don't see that being a problem. there's only been one other woman had maternity and she put in to leave at 37 weeks but then had to bring it forward as was finding it too stressful.

Stripey, ah sorry to hear about your plans :( However I am very inspired that you have put so much thought into it and shall be sitting my OH down tonight so we can put some stuff in context and in writing. The consultant did mention putting that I didnt want to be monitored and stuck to a bed in my birth pln. I think they are going to freak when they read it and it also says MINIMAL internal investigations....... If I have to go to hospital then I think they will be up for the compromise of me being in the MLU and the consultant led is literally the floor or 2 above.

Cali I am crossing my fingers that you don't need to have to inject every day! Like Folic says - no to a daily prick ;)

Folic hopefully MrsA might be along a bit later and could give me some advice.

I have started another thread to see if can get some more viewpoints and have had a productive afternoon ringing about to find aquanatal or exercise classes.

My mat leave is due to start the end of Sept (due date 5th Nov) but due to some staff changes and some other stuff at work I just wanna get away before someone returns..... Not had a long time off in ages so quite looking forward to having some time to walk my daughter to school with her bike that she is clamouring to use but isnt allowed to take to school without adult supervision, potter about the house and get baby stuff ready!

afternoon ladies.

My leave starts on 10/10 and the mat leave itself starts 7/11, so i'm having about 5 weeks off as well. can't wait.

My mat leaves have started earlier each time....I went 2 weeks before and had DS 2 weeks late so felt like plenty of time first time round but I do have a very sedentary job and had he been on time it would have probably felt a bit soon.

With an 18mth old under my feet and the threat of a caesarian at 38 weeks I finished at 36 weeks with DD and she was born on time so again 4 weeks before the birth.

Last day of work is 6th Sept so 31+2 this time! Mainly because DS is starting school so we'll have 4 weeks of him only going afternoons so it just seemed easier to have a clean end rather than trrying to work around his school hours

staceroo I smacked my head into a door frame yesterday (loving pregnany spatial awareness) so have a lovely bump on my forehead which is pretty sore so loads of sympathy to you following your overnight assault!

Hi all,

I'm sorry to hear about those battling to get in MLU's. I think that will be me on Thursday when I finally get to meet my consultant who I've been told will push to get me in the CLU due to my history. I just have to finish my terrifyingly long list of questions and prepare to be more bolshy than normal, but feeling nervous as I'll be on my own as DH will be looking after DS. I don't do bolshy with medical professionals, I get hideously obedient instead.
Buggies It was a good price for the baby jogger - but it is second hand so kind of reasonable I think. We didn't want to pay more than half the price of a new one, and if we hadn't bagged that one DH said he'd buy a new one No it'll be worth it not to hear him fret about money.
staceroo it was so strange. I was in mums and toddlers yesterday and a shy lady I don't know came up to me and said: 'Um please don't think I'm crazy but is it okay if I give you a message from your grandfather? I don't normally do this but he's sitting here and he's insistent.' She then described the dad of my late mum (tall, full head of hair, smoker, manual worker, tweedie flat cap {yes we are Northern :) }) She said: 'He says not to worry about the birth this time, he'll be standing at the foot of the cot watching out for you and the baby.' She asked if I was particularly close to him because that's why he wants to do it. TBH he was such a shy soul I wasn't really, but he doted, doted doted on my mum and I think he's doing it for her. Sob, maybe it means DD will be like her. Oh I so hope so!!
No other news other than the fact that my chiropractor has banned me from the sofa for 6 weeks! Never thought I'd be reaquainting myself with a birth ball quite so soon. Knitting on one is almost impossible. Grrr.

I've put my ML to start on 5th Oct, 35 weeks and roughly 2 weeks before I'll be induced. No idea if I'll actually manage to stay in work until then, but I'll just go off on the sick before that if I have too.

Feeling massive and useless today and I'm off work because its the summer. So goodness knows how I'll be managing back in work if this is anything to go by!

folic I may be interested in your dream genii if you are thinking of selling. Do you have a cover with it? I was only looking today at Mothercare as that's in a 3 for 2 offer.

Hi folic got my dreamgenii for £20, hope that helps. You might get more if you have the end time for the evening :)

Hi voodoo I feel flattered that you might value my opinion. I am very aware of how 'militant' and 'up the revolution' I can be though, so ladies please remember these are my views and i completely understand why they might not be for everyone (my DSis thinks I'm quite bonkers btw!!).

So, firstly I am angry on your part that your hospital have taken that attitude. How very dare they!! Assuming the only 'issue' is your BMI (which therefore IMO is not an issue at all) and there is no other medical reason specific to you, it must just be hospital policy that they are extremely risk averse.
To put your mind at rest, I recommend doing a bit of research on homebirths. Have a look at this site. It is a great starting point, especially the 'can I have a homebirth if...' link on the left.

Once you have some information about risks, you will probably feel more confident in standing up for yourself.

To be clear - No doctor or consultant in the world can tell you that you are not allowed to have a homebirth. It is not their decision to make. It is YOUR birth and no one can force you to go into hospital.
However, when it's on their territory they can refuse you entry to the MLU.

If you decide you want a homebirth, then simply write a letter to the head of midwifery at the hospital stating that you are due to deliver on xx date and that you intend to have a homebirth. Also state that you have researched your options and are making an informed decision to have a homebirth and you expect to be supported by midwives experienced in homebirth.
Keep it simple, don't be frightened by scare tactics and keep stating (if they push you) that you appreciate their comments but you intend to have a HB.
I recommend you have a look at the homebirth group on Yahoo groups. They are very supportive and populated by lots of independent midwives. link here

If after research you decide a hb is not for you, then they may decide the MLU is a better option if you keep going on about one IYSWIM! However, be aware that once in hospital, it is very easy for the consultants to recommend you move down to the labour unit, which is where they prefer you to be. Once in labour you are very vulnerable and it is very hard to stand up for what you want and, being human, the docs will try to persuade you by using statistics - not lies but also not facts that apply to you at the time.
You might want to consider a doula for your birth if you are keen to have a natural birth. She will be aware of your wants and stick up for you - asking the questions you may not think about and buying thinking time. Doulas cost about £200 www.doula.org.uk

Always ask - 'is this specific to me or is this hospital policy?' to make sure you get the best recommendations for YOU, not just because a doctor wants to tick a form.
Even in hospital remember, you do not have to consent to anything. You can refuse constant monitoring of the baby during labour (research shows it does not improve birth outcomes and can cause a higher rate of c-section). If I have to go into hospital to labour i will give them a choice - either no monitoring at all or intermittent monitoring but I do not consent to constant.

Sorry for the mammoth post - for my DD it all seemed so overwhelming, then I did my research and realised that the more interventions you have, the more likely things are to head towards a c-section. For example, most PPH (bleeding after birth) happens in hospital as it is generally caused by managed placenta delivery (caveat - not all, of course but alot). At home, it's generally recommended to have a natural 3rd stage and let the placenta come out by itself which reduces the risk of bleeding. Even if you do bleed, HB midwives carry equipment to stop the bleeding and then get you to hospital.

Gosh I have gone on. This is all my opinion based on my research. I am passionate about it but also do not want to bang on about it. Happy to discuss off thread if you PM me and keep smiling - it's your birth and your baby, no one else's!

Oh and my massive PMA today?! My Grandma has given us £1000 towards the new baby costs. OMG!!!

And I've booked my leave - I finish work on 3 Nov (EDD 23rd) but cos of hols my actual mat leave starts on 21 Nov! Means i go back to work around mid-Sept next yr. Yay, the whole summer to spend with a baby! With DD I went back in early July cos she was born in Sept so I missed the summer as I went back FT.

stripey that's less than half price and I've only used it a few times- sorry missy I'll just persevere, may get better as bump grows!

Voodoo told ya Mrs A would help! Are you feeling any better now? Crap to have to fight for things whilst in pregnancy though- it's tiring enough as it is.

PMA I've had a pregnancy massage tonight after work- bliss. Was so knotted along shoulders, and she was working on my water retaining 'spongey' feet. I look down and don't recognise them.

Food wise- I'm really worried I'm overeating. Have discovered a very large sweet tooth and I'm not making packed lunches in the same way as before.