November 2011. Bumps, kicks and less feeling sick.

[Missyraines]

Thought I'd take the plunge and go for it.

caliphora I am so grateful to be pregnant so I can have our baby but I don't like been pregnant. I don't like the feeling of been out of control of my body, the tiredness, the spots, the hunger etc. Baby moving is very reassuring (I panic if I haven't felt Bobblehat for a few days) but weird and yes, a foot or head pounding bladder/ribs/cervix is painful.

I particularly loathe anyone (especially other ladies who have had babies) using words such as "huge, large, big" etc. My pregnant ears only hear "gargantian fat mountain arse" and it makes me cry. The strangers that think it's funny to ask if there are 3 or more in there (the day after I was scanned for measuring so far behind dates) etc. I have no tolerance which I also hate, not like the "usual" me at all.

I love my daughter to pieces, she is my world but I didn't enjoy pregnancy - I was so grateful for it regardless but no, I didn't enjoy it.

I think it's awful some people judge you for admitting pregnancy wasn't bliss for you!!!!!

Xposts Caz - amazing!! I'm so pleased for you and your hubby. Fabulous. xxx

Caz fantastic total - so delighted for you and lovely to meet you.

I am another who is not a great lover of the pregnancy bit of motherhood - I see it as the bit I have to get through to get a gorgeous baby! That said I think it does get easier the more you do it. When I carried DS I did feel like I was growing something that was alien to me - maybe the testosterone? - I wanted and loved him so much but felt completely out of control, particularly of my emotions and I'm normally a very level person. One of my first coherent thoughts when I woke up after my EMCS was that I felt like me again that all the crazy emotions just seemed to have been taken out of me as well - he went into NICU and despite my fears that I would never be the same again (and despite the stress of the situation) I started behaving like a rational human being again! My pregnancy with DD and this one have been easier but I think mainly because I haven't carried the 'what if these changes are permanent' fear with me. Huge respect for what my body is doing right now, I am totally blown away by it but it ain't an easy ride for the mother ship

cep I'm making one :D I used to be a seamstress/costume maker, so I whip out the sewing machine and make it so!

bump It's tiring to have to explain to colleagues why I need a fan at my desk, why I need a special chair, why they can't move stuff around etc. I even had one of my operations managers yank the fan and calling me selfish as "it's not your teams fault you're pregnant" - at which point I marched to HR and cried for half an hour.

I feel mean an cruel asking for those things, but know I need them, but it's so hard explaining to people why. I work in an environment with a lot of male gay people, who despite being very lovely and accepting people, really struggle with pregnant women. I know some of them only see me as a slightly gross, easily upset fat lady right now, and that upsets me no end.

PMA (it should be pml, really)
We're watching Beyonce from Glasto on BBC1. When I waggled my hand at him singing along to a certain song, my DP grudgingly said "Well, I liked it so much I put a baby in it". Cheek.

:D

Wow! I missed a lot!

caz it's so great that you raised so much money! And , I've said it before, really inspriational that you work so hard to raise awareness in the hopes that other couples never experience what you went through.

blue hope you get the day for Sterre you want

lk congrats on the wedding and new house!

cali they buy things and then keep them at their mothers houses?? That seems odd to me but I'm actually not superstitous. A first timer here I like the movements - but have always liked being in control and now I am struggling with my ever changing body (I need to let go of my vanity). I feel like the media needs to be more open about how pregnancy actually is. we only see happy blooming mothers with cute bumps - I was really shocked by the fatigue and ms for the first 14 wks (but next time round I'll be prepared:))

Speaking of changes, I now have a dark line from navel downwards - and its quite obvious. I know its stupid (esp when I have stretch marks etc... later on) but I have ghostly skin and it looks awful. I know it doesn't really matter but its making me feel down (actually a lot of things are - like right before AF comes when I go around crying for no reason). Does anyone else have this line (i know it has a fancy name), or has had it? Does it go away?

Hope every one has a good week, mine is really busy so dreading it (sorry to be a downer)
PMA: Did prenatal yoga today - first yoga for me and it was great

morning ladies

caz that's fantastic, can't wait to hear the final total.

cali sorry works being a bit weird at the moment. That manager sounds like a complete nob.

gold i don't get the line, but i don't think it hangs around for long afterwards. It's quite common apparently.

Good morning!

Caz that is amazing! What a brilliant acheivement. So pleased for you :)

Blue hope your funeral plans go well and you get the day your wee one deserves.

Gold I think it's called the lina negra (black line?), but probably totally mis-spelled that one.

Had a good weekend - went shopping for some maternity tights and leggings - sexual Then had a two hour snooze power nap, then a barbeque at a neighbours.

Missed the Highland Show because I had the headache from hell, but did mange to sort out the house, so not time wasted.

Hope y'all have a brilliant Monday :)
xxx
Ziggi

Bump good luck with 20 week scan today, same to everyone else who has one. Amnio at 13:30h for me. Trying not to think beyond seeing the Babs again - then closing my eyes until it's all over.

Morning all, quickly dropping in to catch up, busy morning.

Hope everyones ok?

Pam, hope it all goes smoothly today and its all over quickly for you xx

Hope the 20wk scans go well too, for those who have them!

LK, married!? When did that happen!? Congratulations! Are you in a quarter now then? How are you finding it?

Bluetinkerbell, I hope things go well today with the vicar xx

Bump I love watching Red Kite, they're so graceful, saw 2 yesterday flying really low over our estate.
We have a couple of really young ones around aswell which is lovely to see, a new generation.

Cali, sorry to hear you're having such a rubbish time at work, I can totally sympathise.
A girl who used to work with us did nothing but moan all the way through her pregnancy, she drove everyone mad daily. Now, every time I say anything about being pregnant all I get is 'Oh you're not going to be another X, are you!?'
So I'm supposed to just keep my mouth shut, not mention the fact that I have SPD again and find it really hard pushing a trolley full of files and lifting them from one place to another. Or if I dare sit down in the staffroom when its not my breaktime because I feel dizzy or I'm getting pains the gobshite bitches people I work with go straight to our boss for a moan... even though I've been told to take more breaks if I need them! Then my boss comes to 'have a word' that people are complaining....
Can't win, can you!?

We've had to move our scan to Wednesday afternoon
DH has a bloody swimming test at work tomorrow... how ridiculous!?
He's 30 years old, been in the army for a million years, he knew how to swim when he joined the army, its not really something you forget how to do... is it!?

PMA: DS is at nursery this afternoon, my friend is coming over for a brew (haven't seen her in the 5 weeks since our DHs came back!) and then I get to clean up in peace before DH and DS come home! I know that sounds rubbish on a day like this but I'm going to open the windows and doors, turn my music up and have a bloody good clear up!

Morning all, well actually it's evening here (coming round from jetlag to Singapore - oops slept till 2.30pm today - and was supposed to be working in the morning...)

Cali & Wuzz I am actually shocked at how mean your colleagues are being. In this day and age I think it's disgraceful. I think it's just so hard for men, and women who have never been pregnant (and I have to admit that previously I was probably one of them) to understand how pregnancy makes you feel physically, and how important rest and breaks are. I mean, moaning when you sit down in the staffroom and whipping away the fan - I think it's terrible behaviour. Angry on your behalf!!

Poppy - Singapore is lovely - so sunny - I am jealous of you living here!

Gold and Cali I totally hear you on the body changes bit - I also have that dark line from tummy button downwards - it's only appeared in the last week I think, but quite obvious now - it's so weird! I too am slightly struggling with body changes, maybe it's particularly bad when it's your first - what is happening to me sort of feeling. Acne is particularly annoying having not had it before I also had to put on a bikini today for the first time since pregnant to go for a swim in lovely pool in Singapore hotel - and I was frankly dismayed by the size of my bottom which seems to have tripled in size since I last looked. I had to just laugh! Fingers crossed everything will go back where it's supposed to be afterwards..

pam and bump good luck for today.

wuzz i'd be complaining, they need to be doing what's in their power to make work a safe non stressful environment. Have you had a pg assessment? I had mine a couple of week sago it's all about are you lifting heavy things are you doing this that and the other, Are you in a stressful job, etc

Rah! As a union rep all this talk of being mistreated because of your pregnant state is driving me mad!

Cali and Wuzz This behaviour is totally not okay and completely unacceptable. You have a right to work whilst being treated with dignity and respect. Most importantly your employer has a duty of care to make sure that your working environment is safe at all times, not just when you are pregnant. If you have had a risk assesment for any reason and it says you need a fan (for example) and they don't provide one (or - shock horror- remove the fan) you are entitled to refuse to work there until it is replaced. This is because the risk assesment has confirmed that you need this to work safely. Ditto breaks, if advised following the risk assesment. Your manager needs to say to the other staff members that it is none of their business! Rah rah rah!!!!

Raging!

Phew, feel better now :)

Afternoon all. Unexpected day off as childminder isnt well. This stuff thats going on at work for some of you is appalling. i find it hard to believe people can be such prats! It is tough, isnt it, even as the pregnant person, i find I am often trying to prove that its not such a big deal and isnt going to make me too pathetic. And then promptly go home early cause I feel really sick or somesuch. People have been pretty reasonable by and large in my workplaces. I am getting tired of being told I should be blooming by now though. Perhaps I am just not a bloomer. Not a flowering plant, just an ever increasing volume of foliage. But I also found the first pregnancy easier than this one. I was probably fitter, less exhausted and had less severe pregnancy symptoms though. PLus I only stopped breast feeding a couple of months before getting pregnant so was kind of still relishing having my body back to myself (after a lot of "oh, I dont want to give up, I love nurturing him with my body").
Good luck today with all of you having scans and amnios and so forth. Blue, I hope you fare well with the vicar.

thanks! Browsing through some texts. It was lovely meeting with our vicar! He is also my 'manager' as I am working for our local church as a youth and families worker. We set a provisional date (16th of July) for the funeral which we're going to hold in the other church in our benefice. Sterre will also be buried there on the cemetery and it means I won't constantly be reminded being in 'our' church here. It's going to be a very personal, non formal service.

I'm really appalled by how some of you have been treated by your work! I know being pregnant is not like being ill or something, but they wouldn't react like that to someone who would work with a broken leg. Would they refuse to give them a chair to rest their leg on, or make them go up the stairs instead of taking the lift?

I can't help but I keep checking on the thread you were all a great support to me, and it helps me reading all your stories!

Ziggi, do you want to come and hold my hand when I'm next in work!?

Cep, its not a particularly stressful job, except there are only 2 of us doing a job that should have 4 people. So we're rushing around trying to make everything happen at the same rate.
As long as things go to plan then we're pretty much able to swim along nicely, everything gets done and there's no problems. If something disrupts the pattern though, one thing goes the wrong way or a problem comes up we're screwed.

The problem lies in the fact that the 2 of us work alongside about 12 other people each day and they don't understand what we do, so they tend to moan a lot.
But when I'm working on my own, trying to make sure everythings done to the same standard as if there were 4 of us working and I burn myself out... who's fault is it...?
Not mine.

I had the risk assessment with my manager, but she sits in her office all day and she doesn't know our job, so basically told me I can't touch the chemicals, I mustn't clean the machines and take breaks whenever I need to.

I'm going to ask to speak to her when I'm next in and talk about the trolley and ask for a foot rest.
I know I shouldn't feel this way but they all make me feel like I'm making a fuss and being dramatic and I know^ they're all bitching because although they won't say stuff to your face they take great pleasure in telling you what other people have said
And the best bit...? They are all women who have had children except one who hasn't yet who happens to be my very good friend...

(Sorry for the rant! )

what is it about women??? i know i am one, but why do we seem to turn evil when at work??? women have such a bad reputation of being bitchy to work with. anyway...
wuzz you still have a few months there so you need to make sure you get your needs sorted. If it doesn't work then get signed off for a week or so for stress and see how they deal with that.

Thats what I had to do when pregnant with DS. The place I worked just weren't prepared to take pregnancy and SPD seriously so my Dr signed me off and said 'that'll bloody teach them!' She was brill!
So I basically finished work at 22wks pg with DS!

I really don't want to do that this time as I know I'd be leaving the other woman I work with totally in the shit and I'd feel so guilty. And also, because I was signed off with DS I spent my dady sat on my arse on the sofa and I have a feeling that really didn't help with Dss positioning and consequently he ended up back to back and pretty much stuck! I'm hoping for a home birth this time so I really don't need an excuse to sit on my arse again!

Physio went ok. I am now wearing the world's biggest tubie grip and look like a mummy...an Egyptian one! No magic cure however just told to rest the muscles. HAve been given exercises to do once not in pain.

Anyone else suffering from the heat? Think I will have a cool bath to ight to help cool me down.

Cookie I am with you on the heat - was fed up with no sun and then it gets hot and I got massively dehydrated and have had a headache for last 24 hours so been off work today :(

Night 2 of DD in with DS - last night we had to take her back to her own room as there was just too much noise and excitement and no settling down but tonight seems to be going a bit better... Got to crack it by Oct!

My work is pretty good but it's a big office and we're all pretty sedentary - guess it helps that I can see 3 ladies more preggers than me from where I sit so they get a lot of practice. I do still feel awkward though particularly about sick days and time off for appointments, scans etc cos everyone around me is working so hard. My boss told me last week his wife is having their 1st due 16th Dec so I think be will be very understanding (unless she turns out to super-preggers and loves it and blooms)

Wuzz any kind of pushing has got to be banned if there's any hint of SPD surely - I am sure I was told no hoovering and no shopping trolleys.

Hi all, sorry not posted for a while but RL keeps getting in the way! :)

blue so sorry for your loss, I'm glad the vicar has helped you with remembering Sterre as you need to x

caz that is an amazing total, you're truly brilliant with all your hard work

My bump has been out for a while, and I have to admit I love being pregnant, but I have had it easy, no real MS or bleeding. Fidget has been most active in the evenings and I'm so glad that he/she's moving about so I know I'm not imagining things!

We have our 20 week scan on Weds, I'll be 20+5 and we're still going to have to toss a coin to see if we find out or not! I know I'm going to sulk if I don't win

Sorry to hear about all the horrid work related stories, hopefully it'll get better

The scan went well today :) All seems well with our lovely yellow baby....we stuck to our decision not to find out but baby had legs crossed so we wouldn't have know for definite anyway!!! Was great seeing baby again and the sonographer managed to show us some really clear views of the baby (much more detail than with DS). Due to the heat we were also given an extra picture for no charge...though the baby hiccuped both times just as the picture was taken!! It was hilarious watching baby have hiccups, weird at the same time - feeling & seeing the hiccup jumps at the same time :o When the sonographer measured the baby she stated that "baby is a good size" the measurements were 1week ahead of dates but within normal range

Pam I hope your amnio went well x x

wuzz & cali I'm sorry you're having it so tough at work, I do hope that things improve x x

bump xander's measurements were a week ahead on our last scan too. I was told we're in a growth spurt stage and there is plenty time for it to even out/slow down! We'll see what they say at our next scan (25 weeks)

Ali, I have an appointment with physio next week so will have a bit more ammo to go into work with, at the moment they just think I'm taking the piss!
Will get occ health involved if they don't take it seriously from next week if I have to!

Hils, are you on team 'find out' or 'not find out'!?
I'm so indecisive I figure I have to find out! I won't ever feel bad for knowing what we're getting but if I don't find out I can guarantee I'll be banging on the door telling them I've changed my mind 10 minutes after the scan!

Blue, its lovely that you're sticking around.
Totally not the same but I was on a forum when I had an early miscarriage a few years ago, I hung around on the board and found the girls there were easier to talk to than anyone else because they were there at the time with lovely support and totally without prejudice. Like, a lot of them knew how I was feeling because they'd been there, but at the same time they didn't really 'know' me and my circumstances so I could talk about life without them being 'affected' like DH would be for instance.
I'm still intouch with a fair few of them now and when they set up a group on FB they invited me in which really touched me.
Stick with us, you're part of the group now!