October 2011 Baby Bus ... part 3

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A place for all the mums due in October 2011

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moly i think you do gain more weight if you start off underweight. i was about a size 16 when i became pregnant with dd1 11 years ago and i put on 24lbs- just short of 2 stone. i was a size 10 (quietly weeps into a packet of crisps, nuts, biscuits) when i got pregnant with the twins and i put on 5 stone. not sure you can compare though. i think the typical amounts are 1 and a half to 2 stone for a singleton.
superjo i watched someone having the snip on telly this week (embarrassing bodies i think ) and it was so easy and simple i was ! its no more painful or complicated than having stitches. see if you can watch it on 4od. you'll be demanding he has one, compared to the agony, time and sacrifices you make being pregnant its not even a tenth as bad! bloody men. ive told mine hes having one.

moly i think the word typical isn't the right word. i think the recommended amounts in the textbooks say this. probably in rl the typical amount is higher. for instance my friend has been employed in the fitness industry since she left school and before she got pregnant she was a gym instructor and says she never ate cos of the pressure to be thin. so when she got pregnant she thought what the hell and ate and ate and ate! she put on 7 stone!!!!! she said her doctor said to her in bewilderment " ive never seen anyone whose put on 7 stone" we were running along the canal when she told me and i nearly fell in laughing.

might send him the link and let him have a looksee im sure i remember him threatening me with him doing it not long after i told him i wanted to be PG again by xmas when i wasnt PG i wasnt overly broody but now i am i want hundreds of mini me and OH running about. just random thoughts tho, but i was daft enough to tell him tho really if i mention it another couple of times he might seriously consider it..

sassy hilarious post re: your friend!! I agree though, I was a 6-8 before this pg (side effect of only recently having got married) and going to gym 3-4 times a week. I have put on about 1.5 stone so far, but in all honesty, I think it's a combination of being quite slim before and the fact that I have also thought f**k it! Am just enjoying eating what I fancy and not doing much exercise for once in my life! Having read lots of other threads/comments on weight gain on MN, and speaking to friends, it sounds to me as though it all settles down afterwards, and the usual principle of "9 months to go on, 9 months to come off" seems to apply, so I am not going to worry about it too much! Personally, the only thing that is bothering me is the bloody cellulite which is spreading over my upper thighs!! Am smothering self in fake tan to hide it...now I look orange and wobbly...not unlike marmalade...

Now I just need to have a little moan (and thanks to sassy for the light relief which made me laugh): I have been a bit tearful last few days, which might be partly hormones, but my DH is being so difficult. He used to have ME, but recovered several years ago, but since a bloody stag do 3 weeks ago, has been saying he hasn't felt this bad in 2 years. He is doing the usual male thing of being completely unable to do anything but focus on his physical symptoms, and work (which magically never suffers), and seems to have totally lost interest in me, the pregnancy, and our future child. We were supposed to be going on a last child-free holiday in a couple of weeks, but I have struggled to find something affordable, and quite honestly I haven't got the time or energy to keep looking by myself. It feels ages since he asked how I am feeling or how the baby is, and I feel like I've been doing this by myself. I bought him father-to-be type books right at the start, and have told him when she is kicking, and how big she is getting etc etc, but it feels as though he just can't get interested/excited. Now he is just acting as though he can't do anything but work and sleep, and it is so miserable and lonely....does anyone have any words of advice?? Am I just being hormonal/selfish??

Sorry for epic and moany post, and congrats to all on top scan news!

xx

rebel sorry to hear about your dh troubles. not sure im the right person to ask as im a bit confrontational,feisty and sarcastic when it comes to my dh's failings! i feel like if he's upsetting me it's only fair that i should share the anguish.
next time he starts listing his physical symptoms, id list all mine and finish off with the line, when yours are that bad- we'll talk!
in all seriousness though- men on the whole arent that interested in knowing all the little things like size and weight and if its got finger nails etc. mine wasnt. i think its cos they're slightly detached from the whole pregnancy cos its you growing, carrying the baby. iyswim? but they do (the majority anyway) change when the babies born. god, i can have discussions now about Jacobs and Isobel's bowel movements and he actually listens responds and even comes for a look! (smile)

Had our scan this morning, all looks fine, the placenta's anterior again so that'll be why I can't feel much. I must confess I was hoping for a posterior placenta this time - I'd love to experience all the kicking you other ladies do - but if that's my only complaint, I'm doing ok really! I thought I saw a little willy but then the sonographer said she couldn't tell the sex as baby had the cord between its legs. Phew - we want a surprise.

rebel I'd echo sassy in that men don't go in for all the little details as they are so much more detatched from the pg than we are. However your DH should be taking care of you, you'll need it more and more from now on as you'll only get more tired, achy, etc (sorry). And he should also be acting interested in the details, even if he's not! I don't know how's best to approach it - I'd sit down with my DH and just tell him how i feel. Most of the time men are so clueless they wouldn't notice if we're upset unless we make it very obvious

Moly I know that if you're underweight to start with you're supposed to put on more than the standard 28-36lb (sorry no ideas about kg) but not sure how much more. However the best advice is to eat to your appetite (lots of cake!) and just enjoy it - the weight will come off afterwards even if it takes a year or so.

sassy 7 stone!!!! DH's colleague put on 6 stone and I thought that was impressive.... Wow.

Is that right, the adage of 9 months to go on, 9 months to go off with weight?

After birth, are there specific post natal classes to try and get your body back, or do you just hit general exercise classes?

Breastfeeding is great for losing weight ... it just flies off even though you are eating like a horse! Well, did for me anyway.

Sorry to hear about DHs not being that enthusiastic. Its tough. Often it doesn't really hit them square on until baby emerges.

Rebel you may well find your DH is much more emotional than you once your DD is born - I certainly did. I just felt quite calm and happy once she was born - after all I already felt like I knew her quite well. I don't think I cried or anything (had been expecting to be in floods of tears but I just felt very serene and enjoying tucking into my pile of NHS toast!)

Whereas my DH felt like he had been hit by an express train of feeling and couldn't believe that DD was really here! It took him about 30 mins to stop sobbing ...)

depends an awful lot on what type of birth you have apples. ive had 2 c-sections and there is no way you can exercise for quite a few weeks. i think its 12. i have a lowly gym instructor qualification but im not an expert.
im planning on a vbac-although no one else is keen- and then it wont be as hard to recover. i found it impossible to exercise after the twins cos one i was breast feeding and two i was just too exhausted.
i think the adage 9months on and 9 months off is a good way to look at it, so that the pressure is off to ping back straight away- but some lucky bitches people take a shorter time than that and some do ping back straight away.
breast feeding is supposed to take an extra 500 calories a day.

PS DHs also get a much more full-on view of the birth too, which is very emotional-making! After all, we don't get to see much even though we are the ones doing all the work!

(No thanks midwife, I do not want you to hold a mirror down there so I can see!)

ha bumps my dp stood up and watched the twins being pulled out of my cut open belly! i said " dont look you might faint" i got a look that said "im a man not a boy" it was lovely really, cos now i have the memory of watching him seeing his babies being born.

after lil 1 giving us a very large panic.. looked like there was too much fluid round one side of its heart. We've found out we are having a healthy baby boy. DS is very pleased he's having a little brother

I've got my scan tomorrow can't wait!! Will then start thinking about buying baby stuff. Had the joiner in all week fitting doors on every room and worktops in the kitchen, the house is full of sawdust! Can't wait until he's finished and I can clear up. Will have to empty and wash everything in the cupboards and basically clean everywhere, really not looking forward to that bit! Then I get the plasterer in on Monday, even more mess!!!
Going to see the inlaws at the weekend, dh's brother and wife have a 15 month old, anybody got any tips on casually asking for hand me downs!!

Hello all

Yay for healthy baby boys coming up - we should update our stats with sexes as and when we know them!

Sassy I'm having twins this time and have a little boy who is 2 - is it really hard to have twins after having one? Also did they offer you a vbac with the twins - my hospital seem to be a bit against it.

DHs' react in different ways - My DH flicks from being so overprotective I shout at him to leave me alone for 5 minutes (don't pick DS up, don't let him do this, don't carry that feather!!!) to literally letting me clean the house upside down without even a wimper of help! And when he is sick, well obviously it's much worse than the all-day ms, sciatica and being kicked in the ribs And as for the birth, I think its much more emotionally traumatic for them as they are worried about us and the babies whereas all we care about is getting that thing out! DS said he found the way it effected me the hardest part (he actually asked me to stop pushing at one point as he was worried about me - like there was any chance of that actually happening!)

We have had a bit of a few weeks here, I might have gestational diabetes and they have found traces of e-coli in my urine, have an appointment with my midwife on Monday to basically have a complete health check and make sure everything is going ok which fingers crossed it will be - am stocked up with enough antibiotics to make me rattle when I walk! And DS has decided today he is going to have a temp and vomiting bug so I have been covered in sick for most of the day whilst trying to work from home (my first day back after holidays) and get all the many things on my personal list done that I have been avoiding for a while (like phoning HMRC and BT etc which is always fun!).

Am rounding the corner to 24 weeks (Monday) and I can't wait to get over that hurdle! babies are more active. Lower one still much more than the upper one and I find myself flicking between asking them to calm down and telling them to hurry up and move within the space of a few hours!

7st - wow! That's impressive! I put on 4 with DS and had about a stone to lose. I lost none with bfing at all and wasn't until about 3-4 months in that I had the energy to do anything at all!

Phew that was a beast of a post - best go and take the hopefully sick-free clothes and bedding out the wash!

Just finished reading everyone's posts. Can't believe your hubbys/partners aren't interested. Mine seems to be more interested in the details than me! Is there anybody else out there who still doesn't really feel pregnant. I'm not really suffering with anything and the only way I feel pregnant is from the bump moving!!

'wasn't until' I started losing weight when I went back to work at 4 months. We had also moved countries and food was more expensive so I could have been pigging out less. Up to that point I had lost 5 of the 12kg I had put on, but most of it in the first few weeks. Also agree with 9 months on... but it is hard to not feel the pressure.

Better sleep last night, was off by 1am

I started exercising again at 6 weeks (although I pretended to do a few thngs at 4 weeks but it still hurt to run across the run at that point). There are some post-natal things that are designed to be baby friendly the NCT booklet was useful for this. My hospital also had a tummy clinic staffed by physios who were more than happy to give you advice for other stuff and use the gym.

glad your lo is ok shelleylou
samarie im in the same boat. we only bought this house last march and only moved in in jan. its over 100 yrs old and had never had central heating! it was a complete gutting job and still isnt finished. dp is in afghanistan at the minute and has left me with all the money -silly boy- so i have decided to hire a builder/plasterer to finish off all the jobs that need doing, he starts monday. im hoping when he comes home (not telling him till then) that he wont mind us being savingless cos the house is finished.
bb3 im not sure i can compare to be truthful, as my dd1 was 10 whem twins arrived (well,2 weeks off being) so its not going to be as hard as having a 2 yr old. but then like i said my dp is armed forces, so apart from 2 weeks paternity (where he spent nearly every day working on the house anyway, which i was fine about, cos i was camped at my mums and she was living at her partners house to make room-its a long story) i only see him at weekends which is really hard- whereas you probably have a dp/dh that comes home every night. but the short answer is that it is very hard. i bf exclusively for both of them for 5 months as well, and that is hard. they are 2 separate people and have 2 separate personalities so they dont necessarily want feeding or to sleep at the same time . so when they are feeding every 3 hours, it might not be the same 3 hour rota. the worst is when one is on 1, then 4, then 7 and the other is on 2.30, then 5.30 then 8.30. argh! best i can say is get as much help as possible, forget the housework and go with the flow. i managed to get mine into a routine at 4 months and its been 100 times better. i am the least routine type person going. i eat when i feel like it, sleep when im tired, get dressed if im going some where etc, but that did not work with twins. im going to be very similar to you in a way, cos we'll both have 3 kids under 2/3!

the top of my belly button is starting to roll out anyone else?

Me and scones will 2 under 2, that's scary enough, let enough twins and other DCs thrown into the mix

bb3 with regards to having a vbac with twins. the odds can be stacked against you. it entirely depends on which way the presenting twin (twin 1 they refer it has) is lying. if twin 1 is head down then they're usually ok with tryong for a naturally birth. if its not, they will go for the c section .
i had an emergency c section with dd1. i was in labour for 14 hours and i was progressing past 9 cm. turned out she was stuck and a 9lb 12oz baby! with twins, i read that 60% of twin births have the 1st one naturally and then need a c section for the 2nd one. and i didnt like them odds. plus on a personal note my mum carried twins, and despite having me 1st by c section they made her try naturally. unfortunately one was still born. i think my mum would have gone through hell if id decided to go down the natural route. i also get geststional diabetes! i didnt need medicating though, i just controlled it through my diet. but my twins were born at 35+5 and were 7lbs 6oz and 6lbs 10oz, so i do think it makes me have big babies! my mum reckons this is gonna be over 10lbs- thanks mum!

just read my post and it doesnt make sense! what i mean is despite having me years earlier and needing a c section, they made her have my twin brothers naturally. sorry trying to eat and type at same time!

woah that's some big babies sassy DD was 6lbs 12.5oz at 41 weeks

Wow busy bus today, to update on stats
I'm now 22+4, having a girl. Already have a boy who'll be 2.5 when LO is born.
I lost weight overall with 1st pg and look to be staying the same with this one.
And I agree that breastfeeding is the best diet EVER!! I will never let my milk dry up after this one I'll still be expressing when she's in her 30s

My DH is a little bit more excited by this one than the last but still not really, I agree that men don't really feel anything till babies are born.

oh I've been meaning to say for a while (maybe already have) that all NCT classes are of the school of thought that intervention and CS are evil. Mine didn't really cover feeding, gave us loads of paper info on FF and BF, plus some info on BF support. They went through what all the different drugs were and what they were commonly used for. Some tips for avoiding intervention, why standing moving etc are good but that if the intervention is required then you have to reconcile that with the fact it's what's right for your baby (if that makes sense, it's great if it doesn't happen but if it does then so be it). Explained that she knew people who had every level of intervention but were happy as they felt informed/in control versus people who had relatively easy births but struggled more. I don't feel like she set up false expectations. She also told us if they you ask you if you want to leave/want drugs it isn't a suggestion, just a choice but people often subconsciously feel like they should say yes or there is a right answer. For me personally this was great.

Morning all. Just caught up on long posts bb3 hope your OH is being more supportive now? Congratulations on all the boys and girls very exciting....little I didn't find out but will be exciting when he/she finally makes an appearance.

Am very tired at moment DP has horrid cold so have been desperately trying not to get it (and to cope with his dying around the house) so far so good......am planning on taking week off beginning July before summer madness hits and am counting days until I can SLEEP! X