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Connect with mums-to-be with similar due dates to share experiences and support.

Jue in June 2011....... labour here we come!!!!!

999 replies

Jer79 · 05/04/2011 14:37

New thread. Should last us a week.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
jasmine51 · 13/04/2011 13:15

TTL ah, you are lovely but you are giving him too much credit! It is a lovely thought and in some ways I am sure he 'wants to get it right' this time. However, in the nicest possible way he always defaults to his own self interest first eg when we discuss delivery, all he can talk about is being down the 'business end' and perhaps he can put the time it takes in his CPD log...hes not joking either. He left his last family 20 years ago because he felt stifled. If anyone understands this, he has the mentaility of a mountaineer or an explorer...he is a loving fun person, but lives for his adventures and taking risks, and that makes him who he is, but also very self absorbed as a survival mechanism.

neenewps - correction - I am perfectly willing to scream at DH, its him that is not speaking to me!

NurseSunshine · 13/04/2011 13:30

In that case Jasmine you should be even more determined to stand up for yourself. YOUR birth, do it YOUR way.

jasmine51 · 13/04/2011 13:50

jimper I'm not going to shout at you but if it helps you can pass over whatever you are eating in this direction...

takethatlady · 13/04/2011 14:50

Yep, I echo nurse. If that's the case, this man needs to be kicked into touch Grin

I love my DH to pieces but when I go into labour it is all about me and the baby and he is there to support the two of us. He comes last in that equation, at that particular moment. I don't mean that in a horrible way - I just think it has to be that way for your own health and your own sanity - there are too many threads on MN about women who have had to back down on their choices for their partners during birth/labour and have ended up with PND, or resenting their partner forever more, or finding themselves with real problems later down the line. Your birth, your way.

8rubberduckies · 13/04/2011 15:06

Jasmine, what all the others say I agree with. You need to think about your needs when it comes to the birth, it doesn't sound like he has thought of this and needs this explaining to him.

On a lighter note, have I ever mentioned that I dislocated DPs finger whilst giving last push when labouring ds? Grin Grin

Jimper I would have been well spooked by that woman as well, hopefully its a big town you live in and you won't bump into her again. Really bad news about your partner potentially not being around for the birth. Just take comfort in the statistics, most first babies are late (sorry to the rest of you first-timers for that little reminder!!!!).

KaraStarbuckThrace · 13/04/2011 15:58

Jasmine - YADNBU - your DH is, have you pointed out that you are full term from 37 weeks and not 38? Hopefully he will calm down and realise he is being an idiot. Your needs are paramount!
Oh and I don't think the elective induction would work for Jimper, think she is worried about the baby coming too early not too late Smile

Barbie - good luck with the letter!!

TTL - I'll be channelling my inner millitant when I tell my MW about my plans to have the baby at home.
My friend has sent her birth plan and so I am going to use that as a template to write mine this weekend, so it is ready for when MW comes a week on Saturday.

Joannezipan · 13/04/2011 16:45

Birth plan?

crazychic141187 · 13/04/2011 17:18

Just an update on my partner. He is still in hospital :( and I have no idea when he is going to be let out. The doctor spoke to him this morning and said he might need a tube putting in directly into his bladder to drain fluid or something like that! Its not fair I just want him home with me! :(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(

NurseSunshine · 13/04/2011 17:20

Kara do you think you could post the birth plan template, possibly, perhaps, at some point? Should you show it to the midwife before the birth then? How do you know which MW will attend? It is you who's decided on a HB isn't it? Apologies if not Blush

Joanne it's just if you have some very specific views on how you'd like the birth to be, not everyone has one. I'm going to do one, basically saying I know things don't always go to plan yada yada yada but this is what I definately DO NOT want SO DON'T EVEN TRY IT and this is where I'm more laid back.

NurseSunshine · 13/04/2011 17:23

Sorry x posts Crazy. Sorry about your partner :( FWIW urinary catheters are used very commonly and aren't a big deal, although they can seem horrid and scary if it's you or a loved one having it. Where a person is retaining urine they can be used very short term, perhaps 24/48 hours just to get things moving again. They're generally taken out again and there's no further problems, so try not to worry :) I hope DP is on the mend and is back home with asap

KaraStarbuckThrace · 13/04/2011 17:32

Hi I can't post the birthplan, sorry it is very detailed and specific.
When I have had a chance to read through I can certainly put an outline to help.
Yes it is me who is having a HB!

NurseSunshine · 13/04/2011 17:35

Ah OK fair enough. I've never seen one so would be interested to know what one looks like but will make use of Google :)

petitech · 13/04/2011 19:33

Hello lovely ladies
Barbie yes the scan was unbelievable, you will love it, I must have watched the dvd about 50 times since, I'm still completely in awe of it! You could see the baby moving his arms, sucking his hand, having a stretch and everything, v cool indeed!
How is everyone's morale? I have been feeling very weepy and low this week, silly really as I couldn't be happier about the babies impending arrival, keep feeling really apprehensive and unsure of myself, feeling like a spare part in work which I think is making me worry about how I'll fit in when back, my replacements (work being split between two) are so new and enthusiastic and full of ideas I feel really stupid for not having thought of some of the things they're proposing. Think my brain has officially switched off. Also started to worry this week whether or not I'll make mummy friends when I'm off and hoping that I'll keep busy, so silly I know but feel like being back in school days :s Think I might be going a little bit crazy!

Milliemuffin · 13/04/2011 20:33

Jer - apologies to others if I'm wrong but I think I'm the only one who made it to full term but was still early? (hope that doesn't sound like a boast? Certainly isn't meant as one) I've taken Raspberry Leaf Tea capsules and drank the tea with both DCs so whether that helped or not I don't know but I'll definitely be doing it again this time. DC1 was 11 days early and DC2 14 days early although my waters went 16 days earlier, she just decided to stay put for 48hours.

Bit of a weird question which I might post as a new thread but has anyone had 2 episiotomies then had another child? If so what happened? The thing that's worrying me most is all the scar tissue and how badly I could tear as a result. Xx

ConfessionsOfAnAchingFanjo · 13/04/2011 21:28

Millie you may find this thread helpful for the episiotomy question.

Milliemuffin · 13/04/2011 22:16

Confessions - thanks for the link. I have been following it but it only explains the differences between the two, doesn't mention scar tissue. I'm wondering if I might NEED another one as the skin is too scarred to tear naturally? Thanks again xx

ConfessionsOfAnAchingFanjo · 13/04/2011 22:31

I've heard of people using an oil (such as almond) to soften the skin. Have been meaning to do this myself but had other tyhings to worry about. No idea if bio-oil is suitable for down there. You could try posting your question on the thread, there seem to be some clued up ladies posting. Also ask your MW and see what they suggest.

Right it's way past my bed time. Night night ladies. xx

sasamaxx · 13/04/2011 22:31

Petitech that's so wierd - I felt exactly like that today.
I even had a wee cry for no good reason at all. Feeling v sorry for myself for silly trivial things and a bit over-sensitive - OK a LOT over-sensitive.
Wierd

crazychic141187 · 13/04/2011 23:56

nurse he already has a catheter in. Has done since Monday! This is something else they have said might need putting in! He has got to have another CT scan tomorrow so fingers crossed he will be out very soon!

Back on my side does anyone else have pains in their knees? I'm finding I'm getting aches in my knees and that's when I'm lying down in bed its really annoying! I'm also finding when im sleeping that I'm waking up with pains in my left hip which is rather uncomfortable!!!

Jer79 · 14/04/2011 06:32

Crazychic Yes, I feel like a geriatric - completely arthritic feeling hands that hurt to bend, particularly after waking up in the morning, and a left knee that is very gammy in the same way, plus spd, so I am the rather bulbous little old lady knocking around very slowly.

Millie Thanks - I have the raspberry leaf tea should I go over, though the capsules sound excellent. I'd love a due date birth!

Jasmine He is being a bit of a primadonna really from what you're saying - but I guess it must be quite hard for him inhabiting such a different everyday world to you, yet wanting to engage completely about the baby when you are talking about it all.

In his mind, his coming home that bit earlier is probably this really huge thing he's had on his mind for days, and maybe he thought telling you would be like a big bunch of flowers, and he'd be the hero. Instead, he gets a dose of practicality from the one person at the centre of it all who knows how it's likely to go down, and what the right thing for you is.

It might be a distance thing and once he's here and sees and you can talk about it curled up on the sofa, he might understand a lot more where you're coming from. However it goes, it's you in that hospital pushing his son out, and you get to do it with the cast of Glee singing to you if that's what you fancy on the day.

For what it's worth, I think you are doing an amazing job doing all this with the baby being monitored and such, and when he gets home he'll see just how incredible his wife is to have handled so much, plus organised those builders!

On the day, it's about you and the baby; the second the baby is born and in your arms, then it's a three-of-you thing; if only there was a nice way to say that without sounding too exclusionary.

OP posts:
Milliemuffin · 14/04/2011 08:45

Jer - the sooner you start taking raspberry leaf tea the bigger the benefit. I start drinking the tea from 34 weeks and taking the tablets from 35 weeks increasing to 3 tablets a day by 37 weeks. It helps tone your uterus, it makes your braxton hicks stronger which is a bit of a pain but it means your contractions will be more effective and will help to push baby out rather than you having to do all the work. I didn't push at all with DD, just walked around and sat on my ball for the afternoon/evening then at 9pm stood against a bed and out she popped. I'm not sure how much you would benefit much taking it once you are overdue but it certainly won't hurt! Every little helps xx

knackered76 · 14/04/2011 09:03

Morning all!

Hope those of you feeling a bit blue have a better day today. I watched OBEM the other night and cried my way through the whole things just about and then got in a complete state about having a c-section (Bob has turned breech), poor dh wondered what on earth had been going on when he arrive home from work Grin.

Clarkiee Hope the move went well and you're not too manically unpacking boxes. We moved nearly 5 years ago and still have boxes hiding in the loft :)

Nurse I think there's something about birth plans in your notes you carry around. I basically put down what I wanted and the order of things if it didn't turn out that way (if that makes sense). So I went for as natural as possible, with gas and air, but if needed I put the order of other pain relief down. You can also write down if you want them to tell you the gender, who's going to cut the cord, skin to skin contact after birth, etc.

Crazy Hope your dp gets better and gets home to you soon :(

Millie I had an episiotomy with DD and then tore with DS, in a different place. Were yours in the same place? Mention it to the midwife and see what they say about it. Oil can't hurt in trying to relax it a bit but I would image that if things have been okay down there since the last one it will probably be fine. Just as an aside, I had ultrasound on my scar after the first which was fantastic at getting rid of the scar tissue and didn't anything on my tear.

Jer My dd was on her due date and ds was the day after. I drank all the raspberry leaf tea I was allowed but I reckon babies just come when they are ready :) I have a friend who was early by 2 weeks and a week and then late by over 10 days!

Jasmine Sorry you're having ishoos with dh, not helpful at this stage! If he is a generally selfish person then you get to be the selfish one this time Grin. Do what you want and he'll just have to come round to the idea. If they meet beforehand he might quite like the idea of not having to take the responsibility himself :)

Jimper There be crazy people where you are! Just out of interest, how much did you pay for her baby Wink!

I have my growth scan today at 3pm so muchly looking forward to that, although have decided not to try and sneak a look at the flavour!

Happy thursday!

Thornykate · 14/04/2011 09:20

Hi all & welcome back petitech i was under old name mrs bigw before I went awol, I remember you from waaay back then.

jasmine My chest feels crushed a lot especially if i lay on my back. Sounds like your DH struggles with things that don?t fit in with his plans. FWIW you might as well do what suits you & he will have to get used to it as the baby won?t work around his schedule so start as you mean to go on IYSWIM? Hope you find a good doula

jer my 1st born was officially 42+1 (born just after midnight a fortnight ?overdue?) but I still don?t believe the scan dates were correct. I had a sweep at 41+6 & the MW said I looked like I was ready to go anyway & I did start proper labour a few hours later.

crazy hope your partner is recovering by now? Football is sounding like a dangerous sport for him!

nursesun glad the ex talk went well, you & baby deserve the support you must be relieved things are moving in the right direction

That is a prize worth winning almighty well done!

I love the raspberry leaf tea as well after taking it with DCs 2&3.

Have just been taking 5 minutes to chill after horrible shouty woman on the school run had a road rage on me because I didn?t stop mid roundabout & block traffic to let her in; she actually threatened to ?smash my f*in face in?...all with her 2 kids in the back?! I am a peace loving person but her rudeness & bullying really bugged me so I said if she wanted to try she was welcome to pull her car in. Needless to say she sped off which was a good thing I know, especially with me being pregnant but I really hate bullies! Rant over!

On a calmer note I am 34wks today & off to see the midwife. Don?t know if any of you guys have pg apps on your phones but I took another bump pic last night & it doesn?t seem to be growing much at all? Loads of movement so am not worried about baby as such but am going to mention it today & see what she says.

Hope everyone else is having a peaceful morning Wink

Thornykate · 14/04/2011 09:28

lol just seen the random numbers in my post Blush, serves me right for copy & pasting but the lappy kept losing power & i didnt want to lose a post mid way through again!

sasamaxx · 14/04/2011 09:58

Thornykate that's shocking behaviour from that woman Shock
Very jealous that you are a week ahead of me - you only have 6 weeks to go that's amazing!

I want a birth like Milliemuffin this time.

I've not done birth plan - I really really want a straightforward birth this time (ha ha don't we all?). After full induction with ARM and drip 1st time, and then face to pubis presentation second time, I would love a more simple arrangement this time. I'm getting the ball out over the next few days to try to encourage a better position.

Hope everyone is well this morning Smile