Jue in June 2011....... third trimesters here we come!!!!!

[Clarkiee]

Hello,
Started a new thread ladies, fingers crossed it works xx

[LisasCat]

BPrincess we've discussed the paternity leave option quite a bit. It wouldn't be too different for us financially, as DP is only on a bit more than me, but I think he's worried about how his work would see it. Although they pay lip service to equal rights and being a family-friendly employer, he's worried his colleagues would see it as a bit of a wussy thing to do. It would also give his bosses a stick with which to beat him at a time when he's trying to impress some senior people with a view to career progression. I, on the other hand, have a pretty safe set up at work, I don't really want another promotion for several years and there's a steady stream of maternity leavers there, so I know I won't get stiffed (even if they do pay only the absolute bloody minimum). So the easy option is for me to do it all the way through, but I know he would love a couple of months at home with the DDs, getting involved with DD1's new school, bonding with DD2.

As for the sex question, we're having it as much as possible, I confess. I'm quite worried about how long it's going to take for me to be ready after the birth, so I think I'm getting in as much as I can now. Last time it wasn't a problem, because DP and I weren't together, but I remember going to the loo was terrifying. I was so scared it was going to hurt, or I'd rip something they'd sewn back together. So assuming it'll be similar (or a hell of a lot worse, going by the measurements from my 20 week scan....monster baby!), I may be too scared of sex for a while after, not to mention tired and distracted by the baby. So we're making up for it in advance. And I love the fact that I get to dictate the positions, which DP thinks is about me getting comfortable with the bump....hahaha, sucker!!!
But Clarkiee I'm with you on the sexy underwear. It just feels completely ridiculous. We did, however, take a Xmas trip to a sex shop for a few toys, which are coming in handy. I always recommend Sh! Women's Emporium in Hoxton Sq as much as I can. It's for women, and men can only enter accompanied by a female (DP and I have had many debates about the legality and fairness of this - I say men are welcome to have one just for them, because quite frankly I wouldn't want to set foot in a shop with the dirty mac brigade). The staff are awesome and very knowledgable, and the girl at Xmas was brilliant about recommending materials that were definitely safe during pregnancy and those that didn't meet certain kitemarks. So if any of you ladies want something to get the mojo back, now or after the baby's born, they're well worth a look. (Sales pitch over)

Mother Benson works for me. And as if we planned it, there's a loaf of bread sitting on the fridge staring at me that I definitely won't have finished by the time it starts to go mouldy, so we'll have bread supplies aplenty!

[neenewps]

Morning all

I have often thought that about the whole 9 month thing and whenever I think how long I have to go, I think, hang on a minute it's 10 bloody months!!! :)

Laughing here at lisacats cunning sex positions.... I have to admit that we have done it a handful of times :( At one point I was feeling really sad about it so confronted my DH who admitted it did weird him out slightly. We have since been intimate and he seemed to get over it quickly!!!

Well saw the Doctor yesterday as well as a lovely lovely MW. I am so lucky that, here, so far, I have seen some really lovely community midwives. Lets hope that the MW's in the hospital are just the same. All was fine with my urine and blood pressure and after a chat with the doctor she said she was happy that I was low risk - yippppeeeee!! She did say they would keep an eye on my blood pressure closely due to preeclampsia but she didn't see any reason why I couldn't deliver in the mid wife led unit.

I'm surprised my blood pressure was normal as had a problem getting to the clinic. On the way there my train broke down so I was stranded at this train station. After 30 mins I thought I'm not going to make it so called them and they said don't worry just get here before 4. Still at the train station and the train stuck at the platform I was dilly dallying over whether to just get a taxi. Called my DH as I just couldn't possibly make that decision by myself (!). No answer... kept calling him. 3rd attempt he answered - was in a client meeting! Cue me erupting into tears like a deranged woman and him thinking something had happened at the appointment!! All because the sodding train broke down. Bloody hormones sigh

Sofa still hasn't arrived and we have friends up next weekend. Such a pain in the butt as we really wanted the house to be in some sort of order before they got up here. DH is calling today to apply some pressure.

Has anyone managed to find some decent maternity jeans? I just ordered some straight leg ones from next but they have no belt loops so fall down a little after sitting down?!

clarkie hope your solicitors pull their fingers out and get the house sale through pronto. Good to hear that the twins are well. at delivery this month. Do we all really not have that long to go!!

8RD how did your allotment party go? Have I missed a post from you about it?

Hope everyone else is well.

[moomin156]

The last few posts were mammoth......now feel under pressure to write an essay :)

You will be glad to know that i actually dont have much to say.....heading down to Camberley this pm so we can go on a little trip to have a look at Aldershot and our housing options......and possibly the area to make me feel a bit happier about the move. DH is at a regimental dinner tonight so an evening alone in the mess for me followed by a drunken DH returning at some ridiculous hour :)

[neenewps]

Sorry moomin

[NurseSunshine]

Hope you have a good day Moomin and find some nice things about Aldershot :)

[neenewps]

Just watching the news about the earthquake in Japan. How flippin' scary.

My friend is due to crew a flight out to Tokyo today.. how worrying for anyone who has friends and families in the areas affected. :(

[jasmine51]

mother and Lisa yup Benson is fine with me...obviously...since I'm lazy and I'm the closest to it. I was collecting duck bread but its gone a fetching shade of green - sure there will be more by next week.

Clarkiee if by any chance they pick something up on your uterine artery doppler, dont panic. I have notching on one of my traces and nearly freaked out at the consultants comments..but the MW and a GP friend have given me alot of info and I've relaxed about it now. Rather ironic that the consultant said the worst thing I could do was get stressed and raise my BP...why flippin overblow the problem then!

moomin enjoy Aldershot, wave in this direction as you pass Oxford on the M40

Pants - I'm wearing under the bump cheapies from Primark a couple of sizes bigger than normal but the most comfy ones I have are some pre pg Calvin Kleins with wide bands - hellish vpl but who looks at the rear end of a pg woman anyway.

Sex - ha ha - DH being in Iraq solves that issue. We have 'dabbled' a few times (when he has been home obviously...not Skype sex or anything...mind you thats an idea...) but I bled last time so thats the end of that til after drop date.

Got lunch today with an old friend (actually an old boyfriend)and have forgotten to tell him I'm pg...seeing as I was about 8 stone last time he saw me it might be a bit of a shock!

[motherofsnortpigs]

ooh. Lunch with an old flame. My favourite kind :)

[jasmine51]

Question re weird movement of the baby kind. I thought I was getting familiar with the various movements of my LO - rolling, stretching and kicks but over the last few days the kicks have turned into whopping great bone shaking thumps. They are not rhythmic so are not hiccups but more like huge great booms and unspecific in their direction. Difficult to describe - do these sound like just stronger kicks or has my bump developed some kind of super farting ability?

[moomin156]

jasmine will wave tomorrow as i am going on the train and will drive back up tomorrow with DH :)
Jealous of the duck feeding.......

[8rubberduckies]

Hi all - I'm having a "me" day today... took a day off work and ds is at the childminder's (feeling a bit guilty but also feel like I need it). Have drank lots of tea, sorted out all the baby clothes we have been given (how lovely was that?!) and am now settled in with the computer for an hour, before tackling some housework and going to visit my friend to coo over her baby.

Motherofsn it was me seriously considering joking about staying in work as long as possible as looking after ds is such hard work. My work is pretty stressful, so, although my ds is half boy / half wild animal, I think I'll be better off at home with him towards the end. I have decided though to keep the childminder on until my due date, so I'll get 3 days a week before the baby comes of sleeping and nesting. I feel like a complete wimp saying my ds is hard to cope with when pg, when faced with Mums like you who look after a troupe of them!

Jasmine your bump movements sound pretty normal, I've started getting some pretty strident punches and kicks... have we got future boxers in out tummies? I like the idea of them being massive farts though .

Neenewps so glad to hear you are classed as low risk... I can only dream of entering the midwife-led unit . The allotment party was great - we had 7 people turn up, and managed to get the whole space cleared and dug over, even the brambly bit. All that lovely soil is now under plastic sheeting and warming up ready for all the little seedlings I hope are going to appear in their little trays soon. I am in charge of propogation, in more ways than one . I cooked up a big vat of Italian bean soup, with crusty bread and yummy cheeses, for everyone to tuck into afterwards. What with lots of beers being drunk it was a very jolly affair, especially when, (just for Barbie's amusement) I got stuck under the kitchen table picking up a fork ds dropped, and had to be hauled out by two people . How we all laughed .

Bprincess we have also discussed paternity leave, as me and dp earn about the same, but I'm 95% sure it is the last 3 months of the year off you're entitled to, when you don't even get MA, so we're not sure if we can afford for either of us not to be earning for three months really. DP is worried about his bosses reactions as well, as they are a bunch of corporate tossers and anything he does which is considered at all against the grain is scrutinised and pulled apart, and probably counts against him . Bless him he is in the wrong job...

Supersunnyday sorry to hear about yet another change in your house plans, and Clarkiee, lets hope things go through soon.

Lisascat and Motherofsnortpigs you have persuaded me I must try harder on the bedroom front... it is starting to resemble a Benny Hill sketch in this house, dp has almost started chasing me around the sofa of an evening, with me batting him off with my imaginary rolling pin .

[LisasCat]

8rd I think the last law change mean that any of the maternity period could be swapped out with the father (except the first 2 weeks), so for example with us, after my 6 weeks on 90% pay, I've then got 33 weeks on SMP. At any point in those 33 weeks I could return to work and DP take up the baby role, getting paid SMP by his employer instead. That's the way I understood it, although I may have misread (those direct.gov pages do get confusing, with all their bite sized chunks of info and links everywhere).

[jasmine51]

Anyone else on their sofa watching Carousel? At what stage would it be acceptable to get over emotional...should I be waiting til 'You'll never walk alone' or can I start now?

8 DH doesnt like the idea of a boxer - he thinks bump is going to be into fencing (the sport not the construction of...) or is practising his bayonet thrusting (not so sure about that one) - personally it feels more like a WWF wrestler in there.

[jasmine51]

Just realised the song on Carousel at the moment is 'June is Busting Out All Over' - very appropriate.

[takethatlady]

neenewps glad your blood pressure was good, despite the stress! Yes, I am finding it hard to find maternity jeans and am living in dresses or leggings. Under the bump jeans seem ridiculous to me - the expandable bit is absolutely huge before it even expands, and it fits the bit of me, below my belly, that isn't expanding! So they're going to be huge the whole pregnancy I think, despite the fact that I can't get the next size down to fit over my knees

jasmine I've been getting the thumps too. In a meeting the other day I suddenly did a big intake of breath - not in pain, just in shock! It was a bit embarrassing, and I didn't even try to explain it

at your wild animal boy 8rd :)

Right, can people tell me if this is nuts or just practical? Our new plan (forged for a hundred million reasons that are too boring/long to explain) is to stay in our house just north of Cambridge. I will stay on a full-time contract but do 3 very long days in Norwich and do the rest from home on weekends, when DH doesn't work and can look after the baby.

This means I have a 90 minute train journey each way (including a change at Ely), plus a 20-minute bus journey from Norwich train station to the campus. I'd leave home at 7am, get to work at 9am, stay until 7pm, and get home at 9pm on those three days (I think Tues-Thurs). Hopefully that would mean I could be at home with the baby on Mondays and Fridays and would usually only need to work a bit on Sundays, especially if I managed to use the train journeys to work in too.

Tell me this is normal. Or nuts.

[takethatlady]

PS - Isobel would go with DH to a nursery near his school (20 mins in the car from home) on the days I was working. He'd obviously do the nursery drops/pick-ups and care for her on those evenings.

I did accidentally start crying when this plan was formulated. But I'm not sure there's another way ...

[moomin156]

Personally I think its nuts TTL but youve got to do what's best for you, your DH and the baby. I'm sure you have been through every option available so if its a plan then go for it

[takethatlady]

Thanks moomin. I think it's nuts too. Every other plan feels equally nutty at the moment, and we just can't see the wood for the trees ...

How was Aldershot?

[jbells]

wow, u blink and theres another 30 posts not going to even try to name check lol, however just to add to the consensus there is next to no sex here either, Dp did tell me last time i was pregnant he found it weird knowing there was a baby moving round in there while we were doing it and a scary bleed after sex in pregnancy with DD where we ended up in A+E made him completly give up on the idea, not that i can really be bothered either at the mo to be honest

[tinyk]

I have another funny pregant story!

Last night, when as my leaving drinks I got stuck in the loo - sideways . It was at one of those trendy bars and they obviously don't have much in the way of 'large' clientelle. I got into the loo, which was roughly the size of the door, and then... couldn't get the door closed past my bump! It got half way and then ground to a halt around my belly button!

Also, this isn't meant as a boast but I'm very happy to say that not all companies are crap about maternity stuff. I have decided I work for an awesome company as they have moved me from my current very stressful job to a less stressful job for 10 weeks before I go on mat leave and are being very flexible and helpful. Our UK MD has 2 teenagers and is very public about he fact that when they were young she worked part time and it hasn't hampered her career progression at all. It's good to have that kind of role model 'at the top' and just goes to prove for all us 'career women' out there that it's not family or career - it's 'and' .

maternity jeans - I have a pair from GAP and they are great. I have thunder thighs, but they actually fit around both my hips AND legs!

[neenewps]

:o @ tinyk

I have tried the GAP ones on and they don't fit me :(

The ones I am wearing now are Red Herring ones which my friend gave me. They are bootleg though and I would like some straighter legged ones. There seem to be quite a few on ASOS. Anyone bought them from there please?

[KaraStarbuckThrace]

TinyK and about you getting stuck in the toilet - did you need help to free yourself?

TTL What a dilemma for you :( I have to be honest I went back to work 5 days a week, with nursery drop off, took me 75mins each way to get to and from work and I found it uber stressful :( Especially if I was late due to traffic.
Probably easier for you as you will be working 3 days, and your Dh will be doing the nursery run. Plus you might be able to get some work done on the train.

[8rubberduckies]

Lisascat I think you're more right than me, I was going on what I was told by someone in work (even benefits advisers can be wrong!), but just picked this off the internet... "Additional Paternity Leave is for a maximum of 26 weeks. If your partner has returned to work, the leave can be taken between 20 weeks and one year after your child is born or placed for adoption. You may be entitled to receive Additional Statutory Paternity Pay during your partner's Statutory Maternity Pay, Maternity Allowance or Adoption Pay period".

[mrswantstobeamum]

Hi all, working from home today and popping in for a quick catch-up.

I've got some over-the-bump maternity jeans from Mothercare which are so comfy and never fall down. They are the only maternity clothes that I've been able to find at Mothercare that I even like, so go figure. Other than those, I live in dresses and under-the-bump leggings. I got some really nice work pieces from Mamas & Papas, only to discover that the trousers (sort of mid-bump fit) fall down hopelessly when I try to walk in them.

Regarding paternity leave, DH was planning to take the two-weeks; his employer pays full wages the first week, and then the statutory amount the second week. We did the calculations and would only be out of pocket a couple hundred quid for the second week, as most of it would have gone to taxes. We'll have to look into the new rules now, though.

On sex whilst pregnant...we've tried to keep it up at least once a week, which is still a big change from pre-PG (especially after TTC!). I had some spotting yesterday, though, which I think was related, so I'll proceed cautiously.

Tinyk, I've been to a few 'trendy' places with small stalls lately and have had visions of getting stuck! Luckily, it hasn't happened yet.

Jasmine, I've been getting bigger thuds lately too. Also, LO now seems to be trying to help the stretching process along by pushing out all the time.

[NurseSunshine]

My maternity jeans from mothercare (£17!! Bargain!) are pretty good.

Am a bit at how many people have said that their DH would like to take time off work but won't be able to due to their bosses :( Very sad for the dads who actually WANT to spend time with their children

8RD your allotment party sounds fab, I could really go for some crusty bread and cheese about now.

Moomin how was Aldershot?

TTL That does sound like a very stressful plan for you. More the travelling time than anything. Is there any possibility of cutting down your hours even a teensy bit?

How was lunch with your old boyfriend Jasmine? Was he like when he clocked the bump?! If it were me I'd just not mention it and if he said anything I'd act all hurt and offended like, What do you MEAN pregnant? How DARE you?!!