Jue in June 2011 - not even our growing bumps can stop us from wittering on

[neenewps]

Onwards we go with the 2nd trimester...

8RD what terrible news about your consultation. It sounds very odd to just have one person on consultation who happens to be pregnant. Your situation sounds quite specific with the funding but I think you should get some legal advice. I'm a manager and would not touch a pg woman with redundancy unless it was part of a pool of redundancies. Isolating one case is open to sex discrimination (though again your case sounds quite specific with the funding).

I had a bit of a scare yesterday as experienced 'leakage' which was suspected waters. Had to go to hospital where they carried out lots of checks, but thank goodness everything is ok. DD was born prematurely due to my waters breaking early so I was a bit terrified. They think it's just an excess of 'pregnancy fluid' which is normal, oh the glamour of pregnancy! The doctor was a young bloke so I was rather embarassed to have him poking around!!!, last pg I only ever had old male doctors or midwives.

Well huge relief though that all is ok. It has reinforced my decision to finish work at 32weeks though (5 weeks hols plus 3 weeks mat leave).

OBEM - didn't watch it but my friends were talking about it. I was a screamer last pg!! It was my pain relief (G&A made me sick and there was no time for anything else). DD was back to back, I already have bad problems and had to be strapped to monitors lying on my back as DD was prem. My back pain was excruciating and in all honesty I wouldn't have given a stuff who heard me!!!! (though was in labour on boxing day so the place was deserted). My birth plan already includes 'please bring some earplugs!!'

Barbie I'm really not sure about the smoking thing - no one would smoke in bed when the baby is in the room anyway surely. No idea what the reason is

I think the 'don't co-sleep if bottlefeeding' one is because bfing mothers are supposed to have hormones circulating which means they are kind of aware of their baby's position while they are asleep - or something like that - and this means that they won't roll on top of them. Mind you, I may have just made that whole thing up as it sounds a bit far fetched...

There's a really good book called 'Three in a Bed' which explains a lot of it - I may have to go look it up now

Did anyone see EE tonight? Is there any chance that this is the end of the storyline, and Kat gets her baby back, or will Ronnie be deemed PND'd and therefore slightly mad - and the baby will go back home with her?

Evening everyone - I am feeling like a slummy/bad mummy today and I haven't even had my baby yet!

I have realised that I have no nursery items or baby items of any kind - am waay overdue a maternity bra (am now in the plunge types from the back of the drawer as then half your boob doesn't have to fit in) and haven't got any name shortlists...

On the positive i think I felt a mini kick today!

8RD really sorry about the job news. How long have you worked there? Is there a chance of a hefty payoff that might equal what you would have received as maternity pay, but just as a lump sum? Perhaps you're in a position to suggest this if they offer less, seeing how, as someone else mentioned, you could make noises about sex discrimination, being the only person affected.

Right banana, you, me and the balaclavas, let's do this.

I assumed the no co-sleeping with a smoker rule was due to lingering smells or nicotine on the smoker. If someone finds out the science, do share.

But baby's getting relegated to crib next to bed and then into his/her own bedroom as soon as possible anyway. Not just because it'll be a squash with 4 of us in the bed, but mainly because I want to avoid having the same sleep troubles with the next one. There are so many things I want to do differently with #2 - no dummy, no co-sleeping being the main ones, because they have been our biggest headaches with DD.

I should just add that co-sleeping is lovely, and there's nothing to beat waking up in the morning staring into the beautiful face of DD, and then when she starts to stir, and throws her arm around my neck, nuzzles into me, smiles, sighs, and goes back into deep sleep....it's just scrummy. BUT, it's at the expense of a proper night's sleep for me and DP (she always wakes one or both of us during the night by kicking the duvet off, or punching one of us, or just waking up and demanding a drink) and it's been quite hard on our relationship too because it has drastically altered the way we spend time together (sex on the sofa always feels like a naughty quicky - sometimes it's nice to just have each other curled up in bed with a bit more romance about it!).

8rd and nomorechoc thanks for the SPD tips. The midwife is going to refer me for Physio. Yesterday evening when DH got home I made sure I rested loads with my feet up and my back seems a lot better today. So think I will just have to make sure I don't overdo it, no more long pushchair walks for the moment

You can blob on the couch with me Stargirl.

just wanted to say, i got made redundant whilst on mat leave, and they did still have to pay me SMP im pretty sure that this will be the case for u 8brd def will be if u are working there still at 25 weeks then u cud just start your mat pay at say 32 weeks or something they will then have to give u any holidays owing and your SMP and i think they have to give u a redundancy pay out of some sort to,

try not to worry it, it is bad but u will still get mat pay and holidays, its just a pain finding a new job once baby is born. i am in a similar situation to u agen this time round

8rubberduckies - at possible redundancy. fingers crossed extra funding will come! Surely in this economic climate debt counsellors are an essential service!

And I hate to disillusion anyone but it is a myth that pregnant women and women on M/L can't be made redundant - it is just much harder to make them redundant. If someone says your position is not longer needed and there is no-one else doing that same job you will be made redundant.
All it means is the onus is on the employer to prove you were not made redundant because of your pregnancy or M/L.

Co-sleeping - smoke particulates and other harmful substances in cigarettes cling to your skin and you can even sweat it if you are smoker - which means your baby could potemtially be exposed to these substances while you are sleeping. Smoking can also cause breathing difficulties and I believe disrupt sleep as well. And this is why it is not advise people who smoke don't co-sleep.

Those of you who have partners that smoke - have you talked to them about giving up? It will be safer for the baby if they did, they'll be healthier and think of all that lovely money you would save to spend on baby things

I managed Aquafit today, woohoo! It was great!

8rubberduckies it seems as usual fairly short-sighted (no surprise really though) to be cutting debt advisors jobs in a time of financial crisis.

Yay gdmts for kicking.

Thanks for your well-wishes everyone . I am the only person on consultation because I am the only person who does my job and is trained to do it where I work and the funding is specifically to pay for me and my admin support. I am a bit as my admin support is not on consultation, as my boss is confident he can find some money from somewhere to pay to keep her on (why not me!!!!).

I am very lucky as my Mum is a HR consultant so knows lots about employment law and is going to look into everything and make sure everything is done properly. She doesn't think that there is a case for sexual discrimination because of the above, and I wouldn't go for that unless I suspected it was a factor anyway, and I know that where I work is a very right-on, forward thinking organisation. An employment tribunal and the associated costs could close the whole place down, we are that on the edge at the moment.

I should get 4 weeks pay as redundancy pay, as well as SMP, but we were relying on my very generous maternity pay from my employer to keep us afloat (3 months full pay, 3 months 50%, 3 months SMP), but looks like I may have to go back to work as soon as I can manage it after having bubba, otherwise we will end up in a lot of debt, and will probably have to move again into a cheaper rented property (we only moved in July). As you all know though, there's not many jobs out there anymore, and because of the coalition cuts there will be barely any jobs I am qualified to do . Gloom and doom!

I would love to join those of you who are planning on robbing a bank!

Bananarama really good news you've got your scan .

Barbie the stats say that there is a higher risk of cot death amongst the children of parents who smoke if you co-sleep. I don't think anyone has worked out why, but the risk is there.

gdmts it is early days yet, enjoy feeling slummy; you have plenty of time before the nesting instinct kicks in!

Sorry X-posted with loads of you! Kara explained my points on co-sleeping and redundancy with a lot more knowledge and articulacy .

Great news on the scan Leroy .

And yes, extremely short-sighted of the government to cut all funding for free debt advisers, but hardly a surprise . They are also cutting legal aid for benefit and housing advice, when many more of us will be facing housing problems and needing advice on benefits over the next couple of years. It's kind of gone under the radar because of all the student protests furore, but is just as much of a scandal I believe.

8rd sorry about your possible redundancy :( how long is the consultation period?

Kara - my DH has promised to give up (about 10 times) but never manages it - it is hard, I know that as an ex-smoker myself, but I still wish he would!

Banana - good on your DP for getting the scan oragnised - great news!

Got no motivation at work today.... have spent ages on Mumsnet..

Moog consultation until end of March, which will mean I am highly unemployable by then but not abole to get SMP for a while longer!

Able, not abole

8RD how on earth can they justify paying admin support for a role that won't exist anymore?! What will she be doing all day exactly?

I got very over excited that my cold seems to be disppearing slowly but surely today, I can almost breath through my nose again which is a novelty and the woman in the cafe at work told me I look a bit less "dead behind the eyes" this morning, charming or what!

I am also aghast at them retaining your admin person - it all seems a bit fishy to me.
All that smoking stuff is pretty scary isn't it? So glad my dream about smoking again was just a dream.

The admin person does other stuff, such as reception and translator services, and they spread out all my admin work amongst the whole admin team. Its all very complicated!

8RD, I'm so sorry to hear about your possible redundancy. I am also in a rubbish employment situation, as the last of a series of short-term contracts with the charity I was working for ended on 31 December. It was uncertain until very late whether I would have a chance to extend again, and an extension of just nine more weeks would have meant I would be eligible for ML. In any case, they were not able to extend my staff position, but have now offered me the chance to take on some part-time work as a contractor over the next few months, which I will probably take as I had been hoping to work until the end of May and am now not in a position to look for another job. It sounds dodgy, I know, but without going into too much detail I think I was the victim of circumstances rather than a plot to oust a pregnant woman. I'm going to look into employment law a bit to see if I'm entitled for anything since I will be with the same employer through the period which would have qualified me for ML with a two-three week gap in contracts, although no longer in a staff position. I hope things work out for you; please keep us posted.

Welcome and congratulations gdmts!

I also watched that episode of OBEM, and thought the screaming was a bit OTT. I haven't given birth before, but this woman was still screaming well beyond being given the epidural, even screaming "I can't feel anything"! I'm hoping I can manage a relatively calm water birth

I've been feeling the bean's fluttering for several weeks now (since around week 14), and what I think are little kicks the past few days. Not one clear kick, but a general sense of pressure/heaviness low in my uterus which lasts for a few seconds at a time and always happens several times in a row. Does this sound like kicking to those who are a bit further along? I'm looking forward to more obvious movements soon!

Enjoy your evenings! Off to tidy up the house a bit before DH gets home and discovers just how lazy my newly unemployed self has been

Haven't posted for ages, but I have tried to keep up with people's posts!

8RD, do you work for a council? At ours if you are still working in your 25th week, you are entitled to the full maternity package (though it's nowhere near as generous as yours!). I think this might be 'green book' i.e. a national condition. I was on consultation before Christmas, luckily got a job in the restructure, but I looked into all the implications for maternity! Also, you should be eligible for redeployment and people on maternity leave have to be given priority for redeployment.

I'm glad I didn't see OBEM, the screaming sounds terrifying!

I've got my 16 week midwife appointment tomorrow, really hoping that I can hear the heartbeat!

OK, I know that pregnancy sometimes makes your skin a bit itchy, due to the blood being closer to the surface, but has anyone ever heard of it being located specifically on the scalp? The last few days I have been absolutely paranoid DD's brought nits home from nursery again - she's been scratching her head a little, and my scalp has been driving me nuts. I checked DD's head last night, and DP checked mine, and neither had any sign of nits, but all day today I kept scratching my scalp, absolutely convinced that they must be there, and he just didn't spot them. Then, it dawned on me - what if it's just pregnancy itchiness but localised on my head?

lisascat when i last had my hair done ( 13 weeks) my hairdresser said my scalp was very dry and recommended i use a moisturising shampoo. At the time i was also very itchy everywhere and it was driving me wild. It has all settled now thankfully

Lisascat I am suffering so badly with itching! It is mostly on my back and arms, but I have had it just on my scalp a couple of times. It is driving me NUTS!!!!!!! I actually had an itchy inside of my eyelid earlier! In fact, talking about itchy scalps, it's starting up now.... .

Mainlymainie good to see you back again, sadly, I don't work for the council, so will just get SMP.

Sorry to hear you're having work problems too mrswantstobeamum, it's a crap time to be worrying about work stuff.

Right, I'm off for an itch .