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Due in Nov - Part VIII - Not long now, surely?!

628 replies

rodeo1 · 28/09/2005 21:41

Right, Here we go, sorry about the pants title!

First baby on this thread do you reckon??

x x x

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
hamster · 12/10/2005 15:18

Hi ladies,

Congrats to Mr & Mrs Rodeo
Welcome to the world Jessica!

So how's everyone else doing?
I am noticing that as time goes on, there's a lot more moaning and niggles! lol
Well, I too and fed up beyond belief. I am now having hot flushes for no apparant reason, I sympathise NOVA and CHACHA.
People look and stare in the street, as I am wearing little more than a vest top...whilst everyone else in is wooly jumpers and jackets...even in the rain.

Had MW yesterday. All is good and normal. Head is 3/5 engaged.
Though on a down point, she thinks I could be aneamic due to my tired rather pale state. So if it carries on, I gotta have blood tests. No big deal though.

DS also had his MMR. He screamed to the point that he went silent(you know....that silent scream that is just sooooo BAD) But given 5 minutes and a couple of milky buttons, he was fine.
I am told he may have a rash in a few days or so, but that should be it.

So then ladies, who has started trying; Fresh pineapple, Raspberry leaf tea, Curry, Sex (heaven forbid) Jumping up and down the stairs?
All tips are welcome....I hate to say it, but NOTHING worked last time, ds was still late!

Catch you later
xx
37

ChaCha · 12/10/2005 15:21

Wow...there's almost a whole 3-4 weeks between us! You are doing well then IMHO! See what you mean about vegging out on sofa, it's easily done. I've never had so much free time in my life - I want to do so much but just can't be bothered. I am so hoping this doesn't last much longer. Try not to worry too much about your figure, once your baby is here I'm sure you'll be getting plenty of exercise even if it is just walking in first few weeks.
p.s. secretly hope baby makes an appearance at around 37wks as I cannot possibly do this for another 6!!!!

babyonboard · 12/10/2005 15:55

Yey- I finally got the boots parenting club magazine!
but..no vouchers for no7 products etc, just the free avent kit and huggies bag. Are these worth making a trip in the rain to go and get?

tessasmum · 12/10/2005 16:06

Congratulations to all the Rodeos and welcome to little Jessica. Made me go all weepy!

Nothing is worth a trip in the rain at the moment BoB!!

Haven't got Huggies bag yet, need to find a friend to buy Huggies for first (mad Eco nappy woman here!). Avent thing was OK - little bottle, little cup, b**y dummy that Tessa decided was hers and walked around with in her mouth for several hours even though she has never had one. It was 'lost' that night-bad Mummy Breast feeding DVD and a range of little Avent samples.
I think my other freebies came separately in a little booklet so don't give up yet.

twinkle1 · 12/10/2005 16:29

chacha re perineum massage i would use a very plain oil like extra virgin olive oil or grapeseed oil. Not very exciting but both are unlikeley to cause a allergic reaction not the place u want any sort of reaction
hope that helps
twinkle
33+6

novadandypowder · 12/10/2005 17:07

Hamster, I'm not going to try any of the old labour tricks, as my midwife says 'the apple will fall when it's ripe'. Sure DH wouldn't complain about the sex one though .

BEKsmum · 12/10/2005 17:54

Afternoon girls, sounds like everyone has got to the stage where this pregnancy lark isn't much fun any more!

I keep swinging from fed up with it to thinking enjoy the experience and feel of it 'cos it the last time, as I have no absolutely no intention of having any more after this one - so love the feel of movement but am sick to death of feeling like a weeble on stilts

I'm now really confused as to when this bump is due, as I originally worked my date out as the 7th November, the Nuchal scan made me the 13th November and the growth scan yesterday made me the 3rd November so now all I'm hoping is to get past this weekend so that my dh gets to keep his b'day sacred and then bump can come when it likes

Tessamum, I was supposed to organise the sweepstake but have been totally useless so don't worry I think we'll just wait and see what everyone has now don't you. It would appear that most people know what they are having don't they or are they just guessing?

Lol at Tessa and the dummy, what are they like? How is she taking to the idea of a sibling - Ben is far from impressed and for some reason thinks I am going to get rid of him (to the point where he cries whenever I take him to clubs & said when he was the last to be let out on Monday that he thought I wasn't coming even though I was standing in the playground waiting not even late!) or that we are going to make him live in the garden - why on earth he would think this I have no idea, perhaps its because we got a couple sheds given to us recently!!!

Right better go and make sure dinner isn't burning, speak to you all ater BEKS (?!! wks)

twinkle1 · 12/10/2005 20:34

evening all,
back from swimming club.Its scary both ds & dd got in so 7.30 wed is now swimming club night
oh for a quiet night in.Tommorow is harvest festival at school and i need to buy a carpet
Those of you with children will know what i mean.
well going to go andput my feet up.Have a relaxing evening
twinkle
33+6

babyonboard · 12/10/2005 20:45

It's been pretty quiet here today!
I'm just attempting to make some bread, i used a recipe for sweet red pepper and basil bread and am really hoping it works as I'm hungry..hehehe

how many of us are doing the perinneal massage?
I keep meaning to but never get round to it...

tessasmum · 12/10/2005 22:28

Think the question is 'How many of us have thought about starting perinneal massage but haven't got round to it yet??'

BEKS - Poor Ben, he's a bit older isn't he and obviously has his own ideas about what happens when babies come along. Has he been hearing things at pre-school and making 2+2=7? When are your Mum and Dad arriving, hopefully they will help him settle. Doesn't do much for the guilt though does it?

With Tessa it's all her baby doll (as Golden and Nova saw at the meet-up) and a variety of babies in her tummy. It has been one for ages, which keeps being born! But over the past few days it has become twins and this evening there were 3 in there. By the time the real one comes out there is going to be a football team to deal with

Made it up to Ikea this morning to get furniture for the front bedroom - some decent storage mainly. First time we have been in about 4 years, its a small children's paradise - free pencils, drawers, cupboards, etc to open, beds, sofas, etc to climb on. Tessa thought she was in heaven and was SERIOUSLY put out when we put her in a trolley so we could get through the Market Place bit before sometime next week!

I also got a proper sleep this afternoon. Dh still here and Tessa knackered so I retired to my bed for an hour. It was bliss and the first time I haven't just dozed with Tessa and Cbeebies for about 3 months. Must try it again

However am now more awake than usual but may disappear off to read Harry Potter. Am working my way through the set again and made it to book 4 last night. I know that I will need something that doesn't take much thought once the baby arrives and didn't think I'd get this far this quickly. Tessa'a first year was marked by re-reading all of Terry Pratchet! Not sure what I'll do when Hogwarts is exhausted

Sorry, super-long post again. Just can't keep them short!

JenJam · 12/10/2005 23:34

I'm upset. to cut story short - i informed my boss about maternity rights (he didn't believe that preg employees c/should accrue holiday while they are on leave) - and in a casual/friendly way pointed him in direction of maternity alliance for more information

  • his reply by email...

"As you might imagine I am not going to look at a www to investigate maternity allowances".

"I am gobsmacked that you can actually accrue holiday entitlement while on LEAVE."

"and if this is the case and I would 'prefer' it if you came back after 6 months, all things being equal." and what does 'all things being equal actually mean!!!!!!

Anyhow I burst into tears after reading this email - I've been working at this company for 4 years, and have given 110% to it, I have always put it first and now they are trying to dodge delivering the minimum...and worse than that actually believe that they have 'power' to make me come back after 6 months . This has left me feeling very low and unsettled. So...I did what most of us would do I chewed DP's ear off about it for good hour and a half hour, in tears, then angry, then angry at DP who kept telling me to calm down and 'not worry' and then he went to bed because he's tired (probably because I wake him up with my groaning every hour). So i'm left feeling that 'it's my problem' instead of our problem. Says he needs he needs to get some sleep because he is tired.

I feel like my life is changing faster than I want it to. I feel my employer is 'letting me down' and I suspect that 'part-time' work and flexible parenting just isnt going to work out as discussed in theory...And i'm worried that DP won't be able to cope with less sleep ...he will try to continue life as normal and i'll be 'holding the baby' but what happened to the 'us' as depicted in the mamas and papas catalogue????

arrrrgh

aaaargh.

p.s. haven't got round to P-massage either although DP did offer to do the first 'round' last night....

SharonTW · 13/10/2005 05:06

Oh Jen Jam you sound so fed up
Your employer sounds like an ass is it only a small company ? They still should know the law though, do you think he'll look up your rights, I'd sue him !!! All you need with the pregnancy hormones around this time too !
Hope you're feeling a bit better this morning.
I (obviously) am still not sleeping left Gary snoring as thought there's no point kicking him for the sake of it when I can't sleep anyway, he's getting really tired lately too because I toss and turn and moan all night.
Haven't read the thread yet have we heard from Mr Rodeo yet , will check now x
Morning all hope it's a good day for you all, have to 'get up' for work in 2 hours !! x

goldenoldie · 13/10/2005 05:56

JenJam - How dissapointing. After all you have put into that place this is the way they treat you. Yes, you could kick-up a fuss/sue or take whatever legal action is available, but you might want to think about where this will leave you in the end?

Doubt this will make relations better and will certainly make them worse and in a small company that could be very, very difficult. In addition, do you really want the stress of taking it further?

Two things: Stop sending e-mails to your boss. E-mails only serve to escalate the problem. You need to talk, ideally face-to-face, but if not then at least the telephone, to get some clarity.

I know you have tried to be helpful in pointing him to the Mat. Alliance for more info, but have to say if a member of my team sent me an e-mail to this effect I might take umbridge as it assumes I don't have the basic intelligence to find out this info for myself. This sort of thing comes across so much better in a one-to-one conversation. E-mails can simply look and feel adversarial, regardless of the intent.

Secondly, regardless of what you agree now, i.e. going back after 6 months, you can always change your mind after baby is born. You only have to give your employer a set number of weeks notice of your intension.

Thirdly, sorry to say it, but it does not look like your boss/this company is really keen for you to go back. They are not making any effort to make things easy for you now, let alone when they have had six months to get used to you not being around.

Is this really the sort of people/company you want to work for? Maybe, after your maternity leave, you can move on to somewhere that values your contribution rather more.................

ChaCha · 13/10/2005 08:48

Jenjam - Sorry about your work situation. I think GO has said it all and i agree, do you really want to work for such a company anyway?

GO - I hope you are well. How are you managing to sleep? Will you be going back to work too? Are you looking fwd to it?

It seems that we are all guilty of keeping partners awake with moaning and groaning. I am really looking fwd to seeing my m/w later today, I am quite worried about the sickness now, it has been all night and this morning accompanied with backache. Baby wouldn't allow me to sleep on either side and felt as if i'm being thrown out of my own body! On average how many hours are most of sleeping at night? I'm sure this baby is going to be early, surely most women do not go through this right until the end?

JenJam · 13/10/2005 09:30

Thanks for posts Golden and Cha cha, I imagine being told he is wrong would get his back up - he's that kind of egotist. I thought I was doing the right thing by 'informing him' of his mistake. a) bringing it to his attention because he obviously is uninformed and not listening b) helping him out by locating the information for him c) ultimately standing up for myself

Is it confrontational to put him straight when he is so obviously uninformed?

6 months ago i casually mentioned to him that I am entitled to be treated as a 'normal employee' during maternity leave, and that means i should receive pay increases, holiday allowance and bonuses as per everyone else. I was the only person in the company who did not receive an increase at my review last month. I didn't raise the issue because I kind of thought 'well it doesn't matter that much to me here and now and I can always reneg when I get back. But the holiday business does add up to what is basically discrimination

His view is that he is doing me "a favour" by keeping my job for me and by paying me the stat allowances, and this is demoralising.

Anyway i could rant all day as I did last night but it won't be helpful in the long run. I will stop talking to him via email (His preferred choice of communication - wierd how he decided to address the issue on the first day of my maternity leave)

I really truly thought that this kind of employment dispute would never happen to me!

I can't face a one to one meeting with him because I'm emotionally fragile right now, I will blub....so i am going to try to find some nice things to do to forget about it.

have a good day all

JenJam · 13/10/2005 09:30

Thanks for posts Golden and Cha cha, I imagine being told he is wrong would get his back up - he's that kind of egotist. I thought I was doing the right thing by 'informing him' of his mistake. a) bringing it to his attention because he obviously is uninformed and not listening b) helping him out by locating the information for him c) ultimately standing up for myself

Is it confrontational to put him straight when he is so obviously uninformed?

6 months ago i casually mentioned to him that I am entitled to be treated as a 'normal employee' during maternity leave, and that means i should receive pay increases, holiday allowance and bonuses as per everyone else. I was the only person in the company who did not receive an increase at my review last month. I didn't raise the issue because I kind of thought 'well it doesn't matter that much to me here and now and I can always reneg when I get back. But the holiday business does add up to what is basically discrimination

His view is that he is doing me "a favour" by keeping my job for me and by paying me the stat allowances, and this is demoralising.

Anyway i could rant all day as I did last night but it won't be helpful in the long run. I will stop talking to him via email (His preferred choice of communication - wierd how he decided to address the issue on the first day of my maternity leave)

I really truly thought that this kind of employment dispute would never happen to me!

I can't face a one to one meeting with him because I'm emotionally fragile right now, I will blub....so i am going to try to find some nice things to do to forget about it.

have a good day all

JenJam · 13/10/2005 09:33

Oops clicked twice - thanks sharontw for your post too - yes a small company (isn't it often a small company..) and yes you are right I do feel a little unsettled (and over emotional) about this.

novadandypowder · 13/10/2005 10:21

Jenjam, did you manage to get to the hospital to check out your hands and feet? Although it sounds like you've got other things to worry about at the mo.. . My friend was one day away from being 'kicked' out of her job this year but had a last minute reprieve when they found out she was seeking legal advice. I'm surprised she wanted to go back to them, but she found it was a case of better the devil you know than having to find a new job.

ChaCha, I'm going to bed between 11 and 12 and getting up between 9 and 9.30. Apart from getting up 2-3 times to go to the loo I'm sleeping most of that time. I offered to go into the spare room for a couple of nights to give DH a chance to get some undisturbed sleep, but he'd rather sleep in the same bed - sweet

tessasmum · 13/10/2005 11:09

Morning all!

JenJam - I must admit my first thought was unprintable on here! And to do it on the first day of your maternity leave is both unprofessional and pig-ignorant.
I think you are right to step back and do some nice things for you, this should be your time to enjoy looking forward to your baby.
As for supportive partners (and their ability to cope with less sleep!) It does work out, everything in the first few weeks/months is a bit of a blur but between you all it sorts itself out. That's not to say that there aren't tired, emotional scenes at times but its such a life-changing thing that it would be odd if there weren't.

goldenoldie · 13/10/2005 11:45

Hi ChaCha - I'm bored already, can you credit it. Spend ages moaning about how hard it is to work while pregnant - go on leave - and get bored!

I'm not SAHM material. Will probably go back to work when twins are about 6 months old out of choice rather than necessity. Have the horror of childcare to look forward too.............

JenJam - do some nice things, treat yourself. Put all the work rubbish on the back burner for the time being. Believe, when the baby comes you will look at work in a completely different light - deal with it then.

In my experience you will either turn into a mummy tiger and be ready to take on an almighty fight with them - and enjoy it, or you will think that work is not really worth the energy - and tell them to stick it.

goldenoldie · 13/10/2005 11:55

PS - forgot to say that CS has been officially booked for 10 Nov.

Anymore news from Rodeo?

ChaCha · 13/10/2005 13:30

But Goldenoldie, you're not working now right?

Just back from the m/w and all is well although one more blood test next week to check haemoglobin levels again. Baby's head has not yet engaged but he does appear to be head down. Spoke to her about all my moans but seem to be all normal at this stage. She suggested that I join some pregnancy forums where I'll be able to speak to others about all my niggles and ask for advice etc.. Did not mention that I am a MN addict and am on here all day
Muscles are strong and tight too so that was good to hear.
Feeling much better after reassurance of appointment. Now to order some lunch. I deserve it!!!!!!

goldenoldie · 13/10/2005 14:07

ChaCha - Glad m/w appointment went well.

I'm on leave now. Have been for some time as GP signed me off at 20 weeks - hence the boredom.

babyonboard · 13/10/2005 14:15

Jenjam - how sad, thats really an insensitive and unfair way to treat you, the least thing you need to be worrying about at the moment is work issues.
hope you can work things out with him, or just try and forget about it for a while and comncentrate on the important things, he can't do anything after all!

Tessasmum - have you read the phillip pulman dark materials trilogy? they are so much better than harry potter i think..

Goldenoldie - congrats on getting your date, it must be a bit odd being able to know and plan for exactly whe nthe little one will arrive!

chacha - mine isn't engaged yet either, and i am certain he's still fully turning himself almost daily. I can often feel a definite head in my pelvis, but then it feels like every other part is down at the bottom too..lord knows!
I can't decide whether to go for the scan tomorrow or not. The leaking stopped, and i have no other concerns, but I guess at least they can give me his position and size while I'm there! Just not sure it's worth the inevitable two hour wait at the hospital.

my bread was a super success last night, but I've eaten almost all of it myself! I couldn't resist it with piles of hummous when it was warm , then dp got home steaming drunk, attempted to make a sandwich and fell asleep so I had to polish that off too! hehe

had a vey odd and restless nights slepp..my back was hurting kloads and I kept being so fully awake that I put something on to watch, then drifted off and had dreams about whatever I was watching.
dp had bought an amazing cable that connects our pc to the bedroom tv, so I can watch the piles of tv shows and films we have on here in bed!
so great..but at one point in my dream I was breastfeeding the baby and he turned into a baby sized and proportioned version of gabrielle from desperate housewives..eeek..I turned the tv firmly off after that!
another recurring dream theme is that we lose the baby around the house...one time we found him down the back of the washing machine..oh my gosh..what is my brain up to!?

can you tell I'm bored again..theres only so much preening and cleaning one can do..and it's too miserable outside to go anywhere..ho humm...

babyonboard · 13/10/2005 14:18

oh forgot to mention the worst part of last night..I somehow ended up with my pillows and head at the bottom of the bed, and dp got up to go to the loo in the dark and sat on my head! grrr