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Due in Nov 05 - Hooray for the third trimester - part VII

608 replies

Enthusia · 13/09/2005 17:20

Right then here goes.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
goldenoldie · 23/09/2005 09:56

Twinkle - how much time does homework take? My DS has always had lots of homework, even in the reception class, but that's the private sector for you!

Regardless of how many subjects he has homework for they are always time limited, so it is always how much he can do in an allotted time. He has never been exepcetd to do everything regardless of how long it takes.

You might want to check that your ds is only meant to spend 10 minutes (or whatever) per item?

ChaCha · 23/09/2005 09:59

Good morning everyone

Karma - Congratulations on no more work!! You must be quite relieved. I finished working at 22 weeks so it's been a while for me - I'm looking fwd to the birth now, feel like i've been pregnant for ages. Are you just planning on 'taking it easy' up until EDD?

Twinkle - Enthusia will be able to help i'm sure, I think she's a primary school teacher, I'm secondary (KS3) so not quite sure of what they're supposed to be doing at that age. Does seem quite a lot though but can't be sure.

Hey Enthusia!! Get up lazy - what bargains did you get then

twinkle1 · 23/09/2005 09:59

golden,
it takes about 1 and a half hrs to do it all!!! reading etc must be done that night teacher never says anything about timescales only what you need to get done that night!!!

goldenoldie · 23/09/2005 10:09

Twinkle - doubt teachers realise homework takes 90 minutes every night - you should tell them and ask them how long they think it should take.

What do other parents do? Do they really just sign a homework book but not make sure the homework is done? If so, teachers must notice?.................

twinkle1 · 23/09/2005 10:22

golden, other parents think its too much but dont speak up.They will sign the diary without doing the work so there child does not get into trouble. I am not like that though!!
I think that other things are just as important as homework.Looking at leaves in the park and talking about autumn or just playing or painting in the garden are all valuable.
sure its not just me who feels like this
twinkle

ChaCha · 23/09/2005 10:26

Wanted to ask a quick question.

For the past week the baby has been moving in such a way that I really do catch my breath. I feel like there is a limb caught in my side and then he turns or moves and it's fine, but it isn't the same wriggly sensation that made me giggle, it's a sharp, quick pain and then I feel him move. Does anyone else feel/felt this?

Also, sometimes i get this tapping in my belly, it doesn't last long. It feels like baby is tapping my tummy. Is that possibly hiccups?

Weather here is sooooo dull.

goldenoldie · 23/09/2005 10:34

Twinkle - you can't be the first parent to raise this - others must have said something too? Teachers can't be so intimidating that parents are frightened to speak up?

Agree with you that painting, leaves, life, love, the meaning of the universe or just mucking about are all important too.

Don't teachers say anything to parents when they sign homework book but homework clearly has not been done? What is the point of the system if not to get the homework done? Don't think I've understood - it all sounds a bit odd to me.

Overall, are you happy with this school then?

twinkle1 · 23/09/2005 10:36

chacha,
yes tapping is hiccups, strange feeling is'nt it. as for sharp pain at this stage babies often get feet/arms stuck in strange posistions and thus use quite a bit of force to move them.They can catch bits of you in the process eg liver,ribs, stomach and this causes sharp pains till junior removes offending foot
when i was pg with ds he kicked me in the liver so hard he made my liver bleed now explains why he is good at football
hope this helps
twinkle

rodeo1 · 23/09/2005 10:47

All sounds fine Chacha, I'm now finding movement isn't as pleasurable as it was! And the tapping does sound like hiccups to me. Mine had hiccups the other night, about 5 in the morning, 'she' had them for ages and found them irratating as she kept jumping round. As did I as I just wanted to go back to sleep!!

Twinkle, that does sound like rather a lot of homework! My DD(in yr2 too) gets her reading book (about 20 pages), an extra home reader of their choice (which is a bit easier) and a 10 word spelling test every week. We also have a maths pack with which we're supposed to play various games for 5-10 mins a night. Have to say it doesn't always get done every night, if it's sunny I'd prefer her to enjoy herself outside. We often do her homework after breakfast when she's a bit more alert!

Going to buy paint today for our bedroom, it's red and cream at the mo which isn't very tranquil so I want a change. Think I'm going to go for a light duck egg blue and cream. All our bedding is cream or beige and our pictures are all black and white, furniture neutral and baby nest is cream raew cotton. Anyone with any other ideas?

Figleaves have a money off voucher (10 off when you spend 40 - sorry comp won't do pound signs) to all new customers BTW, I'll try and post a link but my computer's not behaving at the mo. They've got the Bravado nursing bras which are brill. Going to get a couple myself, but make sure you get them big enough!

34+2 x x x

ChaCha · 23/09/2005 11:03

Thanks ladies. That's reassuring. I still can't believe that was actually hiccups! How funny.

Rodeo - Yup, definitely not as pleasurable now. I really do have to catch my breath. Not sure what to suggest for your room, I'm crap at coordinating even though i'd like to think that i'm not!

Twinkle - Really stupid question but how did you know that your liver bled? It musth have been painful.

GO - Would imagine that it is definitely not enough to just check the child's diary for a signature - as you said, what would be the point? I spend the first few minutes of lesson walking round checking diary along with the homework book and then take a note of who hasn't done it and either write/call the parents, depending on who they are. You would be surprised at how many parents don't even know their kids have h.w or who sign the diary without even checking themselves! Grrr.

karmamother · 23/09/2005 11:04

Morning to all. Feeling bright & perky now that I've finished work!! Just returned from GP with sick note & I've phoned work to tell them. They thought I was nuts to be working now anyway.

Rodeo1 - I have a DS, nearly 9. This one is indeed a girl which I'm really chuffed about. I had an amnio so its 100% correct. It's been wonderful buying pink stuff! I remember with DS thinking how poor I'd be if he was a girl...the pink stuff is much cuter than boys clothes.
Ooh, bit of advice for first timers, when buying new baby clothes, don't get anything that has a collar on it. They never sit right, always stick up & are vomit magnets.

ChaCha - I shall indeed be taking it easy! My DS has been a little trouper & likes to do the breakfasts. Obviously, DP has been great too, he lets me get all the wingeing out in one fell swoop, laughs then changes the subject. My bubs gets hiccups at least twice a day which is rather sweet.

Twinkle1 - that does seem excessive homework. I could understand if it was a week's worth. Do you leave weekends homework free? I do, but it means there's a bit of a rush to get it all done in the week. I agree that it should never be a chore but inevitably, lots of children think it is. That's where your super-duper parenting skills really get tested, trying to keep it fun!

Ooh, just got my Boots club vouchers, can't wait to start using them. Bye for now.

babyonboard · 23/09/2005 11:07

hehe..have to agree the hiccups are crazy!
I know a few of you have talked about flat belly buttons, but has anyone elses turned totally inside out? mine seems to stick out about an inch, and you can see it through my clothes..hehe

ChaCha · 23/09/2005 11:13

Still not Boots vouchers here...grrrrr!

Hiya BoB - I totally forgot that you'd posted earlier. How is your SPD today? Hope you're feeling better. Sorry to hear that your DP didn't get the job he was hoping for but there will be plenty of others, perhaps it's just not the right time yet. Also, congrats on your benefits, will make a difference i'm sure.

My belly button is just the same. No change whatsoever. I do have some scarring there, can't really describe it but is the result of a laparoscopy if anyone has had this, i wonder if this is why my button has stayed the same.

I've been on the PC for ages, best do something constructive...like eat breakfast and read

Londoner · 23/09/2005 11:14

Baby hiccupping in the womb is really good, the sonographer told me.... it exercises the baby's diaghragm..... oh-oh, does that mean we'll all have really lusty fog-horn babies! Maybe some earplugs would be a good thing to add to the shopping list!

babyonboard · 23/09/2005 11:24

ooh chacha..i hadn't recieved mine either and I applied over two months ago. I rang customer services and they said there is just a backlog, and I should expect them soon, and then added 500 advantage points to my card by means of apology! worth a try!

twinkle1 · 23/09/2005 11:25

golden
Overall school is fantastic, its just this one teacher.DD has just started in reception and the teacher is fantastic,lots of communication via her homework diary chat to teacher every dy etc.school is fab as it has lots of extra activities ds plays clarinet,football etc

twinkle1 · 23/09/2005 11:30

cha cha
Knew i had the bleed as they scanned me
I just got boots vouchers yeahhhh
not the ones with the free bag but some to get lots of free pamper products (cant wait) there is a note in saying bag and more vouchers will be here soon
twinkle

novadandypowder · 23/09/2005 11:35

hello everyone, I would say 'it's friiiiidayyyy' but I'm not working it doesn't seem that special any more .

Been to the midwife and all is well. Complained about the classes and they were very supportive - the midwife led team actually don't recommend them, they prefer NCT - and have encouraged me to write a letter with my views about the teaching. Had a brief chat about birth plans and discovered that the birth pool is on first dibs to those on the midwife led service and they will juggle room bookings if thats what I want so thats good .

Heartbeat is definitly a clip clop, which would imply a girl.

Going to be spending the day sorting out photos, although I really fancy a Subway meatball sandwich so may have to wander off to Portobello for lunch...

twinkle1 · 23/09/2005 11:36

right off to nearest boots to spend spend spend
or at least get lots of stuff free, before i see ds demon teacher after school.(why do i suddenly feel 8yrs old again????)
talk soon
twinkle
31+1

Londoner · 23/09/2005 11:37

How bizarre.... just about to post about same experience of Boots parenting club no show ... when the post drops on my mat & I've got my first instalment of vouchers!
Have been battling to join since beginning of August! They claim to have only received my application on 19th August if that's any help to you ChaCha ( @6 week wait then). Just the pre-28 week vouchers in this envelope, wonder if I'll get the others in time for baby?
Maybe ring them up and complain, might be worth a try?

Enthusia · 23/09/2005 11:38

Morning all

I am now up after going back to bed at 6am when DH left. Three days out shopping, walking, travelling etc has really done me in. Think yesterday was my last big shopping spree, mind you I hardly got anything, a book to read and a year planner . Colchester was lovely (checking it out as a potential place to move to, as I have all the others) but not much new in the way of baby bargains I'm afraid. Spent most of the day sussing out the area (loads of walking) and sitting in Costa Coffee reading - that I enjoyed immensly!!!!

Wednesday was great though - really good meeting up with friend over a gorgeous lunch. I don't know how any of you manage with public transport anymore though!!! As I tried to get on a bus a 'city gent' type completely barged in front of me - I mean elbow in my chest, then as he went past knocked me backwards by hitting his bag into my bump, I could have killed him even more for the fact he was such a stuck up toff - he was on his phone saying what a ggggoorrrggeeouuussss time he had had on the river luvvvyyyyy and how much 'of the green stuff' (his words not mine) he had made by doing nothing, this was to his friend 'Impy' WTF. I din't know what to do and Bus driver man just stood there shocked, but gave me a pat on the back. I called after him something about gentlemen left in the world - but doubt he would ever think it was aimed at him! Anyway then I went to get on a train home and found I got to the station at 8 and the train left at 8.02 - I managed to powerwalk (actually beating suited businessmen) onto the train just as it was about to pull away, I couldn't believe the power I still had!!!!

Last night was another hospital anetenatal and DH and I left his work early in order to be there as we were told last week he would be needed, ie positions breathing etc. Got to hospital to find a physiotherapist lecturing us for the whole evening - it was so 1950's she even called us all mummys and daddys everytime she reffered to us ie, 'I think that mummy needs a drink' and Daddy's you may now take your mummys home'. It wasn't the most lively of sessions but her 50's way of talking mixed with our 00's brains made it hilarious especially when she got on to telling daddys to practise their massage techniques at home behind closed doors, and 'had they tried the hard storking as a technique' (she was talking about practising for massage during labour on your thigh, we were not!!!!!) She did not see what was funny !!!! Did learn quite a bit about how to stand, sit, lie, get up, exercises to do etc and what SPD is why it happens and how to avoid it and not irritate it, which I found valuable but not much else. I enjoyed the sciency parts as love understanding about these things. Did not like the fact that she expected us all to give birth lying flat on our backs though.

Anyway brill NCT is Saturday so I will post more useful info after that.

Today will definitely be a day of doing as little as possible and I am truly looking forward to it!!!!

Right onto your messages, now I have bored you to tears with mine!!!!!!!

Twinkle - in year 2 homework is actually not compulsary, it does not become compulsary until key stage 2, so year 3, so there are no time guidelines (when I say compulsary it is never really compulsary as if a school does not agree with giving it, they do not have to) Anyway for KS2 - year 3 - the guidelines state no more than 1/2 an hour, half of which should be reading a night. Some schools do treat this differently by giving 10mins of reading most nights and then an hours practical homework 1-2 times a week. However 90mins a night is NOT acceptable. If you like, the 'normal' should be 10-15mins reading everynight, a quick spelling practice most nights and a maths sheet once a week - usually given Monday to be returned Friday. There might also be a quick question and answer session on number bonds or tables that can be done in the car on the way to school.

So as far as I can see the amount your son is getting is excessive - the way to play it with the teacher (or the way I see you getting best results) is this; Go in bright and brezzy, say how you are pleased with (at least 2 things - how he has settled in, how he loves pe) then ask how she thinks your son has settled in, becuase of your positive response she should react in a positive way (at least to start with) She will love the fact that you are happy - you will have stroked her ego a bit! Then react to what she has to say. I'd then go and say that you would like some clarification about the homework as you are doing your best to help your son and do not want to 'get it wrong' asking for advice will get her talking about where she is coming from and won't make her feel you are questioning her authority - teachers tend to get a little standoffish if you question them, and it can make them stand their ground, go defensive and not want to help. Just say the homework is very different from year 1 is this right. Tell her what your son is doing each night, how long it is taking him and how it is making him feel - especially the reading. Ask if that is normal right - treat her like a doctor!!! She should say 'oh dear it shouldn't be taking that long, I didn't realise, lets see what we can do.' or ' Oh no, the maths doesn't have to be done until Friday it is one sum a day, or 'oh no, the spellings/harder reading book is only once a week' etc. If she says 'Well that is because 'Little Johnny' didn't do his maths in class so he has to do it for homework' ask her why he didn't do it in class, etc get to the root of the problem. In the very unlikely even that she says '90mins a night is a perfectly normal amount of homeowrk for a child in year 2' then you say that it is effecting your childs 'whole' (very important word) development, he is not sleeping, he is worrying, not playing, hating reading, not wanting to go to school etc. And if this doesn't change her attitude leave the topic for the moment as she will not budge at this time. THIS IS HIGHLY UNLIKELY, teachers know that parental involvement is VITAL in the success of their class.

If all goes well say that you would like to help monitor your sons homework and help as much as possible and so would it be ok to write messages in his homeowrk diary to help her - such as 'Johnny' did his reading for 10mins but tried his maths for 30mins before I told him to stop. Writing these mesaages in the diary will help her to see that homeowrk is being done and where dificulties are arising.

If all does not go well, stop your son doing homework after 30-40mins and write a massage in the diary everyday saying what your son has done and how long it took and why you stopped him. Then let her take the next step - this way your son is not getting overloaded, you are aiding your son, you are keeping the school informed and you have evidence!

Sorry this was so long Twinkle I hope it helps. Teachers are human and do generally want to help, however, some primary school teachers can definitely be a different breed of human at times, they generally love the power they have and can appear to look down on you, when actually you hold the power! I have seen this so many time in so many schools it is unbelievebale. There are more of us out there now though that see parents as being vital not a nuisance. Keep me informed!

As for everyone else - thanks for your messages about me being a 'busy bee' etc, they really made me feel a 'buzz' am going to settle on a flower now and rest though!

ChaCha - hope bubs is not doing any olympic gymnastics today!!

Nova - I'd be really upset about my antenal if I'd paid that much too, I thought you were paying for qulaity and reassurance!!!! Oh well at least you will look back and laugh after!!! Oh and I got a leaflet about cats and babies - ie, introducing them etc, have you got one?

Beks - Hope you are happy again today and looking forward to a lovely weekend!

Sorry if I've forgotton anyone else - I imagine you are all asleep now anyway

Right better go

33 weeks today!!!!!

OP posts:
Enthusia · 23/09/2005 11:38

Ok that must be it I must now win the prize for the longest post..... or maybe most boring!!!!

OP posts:
Iklboo · 23/09/2005 11:40

Nova - it's a shame you're having such rotten classes.
Our NHS ones are really good. They MWs have all had children, they go through practically every scanario and are always willing to spend time answering questions, going through stuff again.
We spend an hour with the MW going through labour, birth etc and then an hour with a physio doing breathing, exercises, relaxtion, pain relief, massage etc.
They always make sure the lessons are fun too. DH was a bit bored for the first one when they seemed to be concentrating on the mums, but has started to really enjoy them now.

Londoner · 23/09/2005 11:53

Enthusia ... really enjoyed your post, v. entertaining, "BOO!" to the horrible man on the bus and "YAY!" to your power walking! Your ante-natal class sounds hilarious, like the one I attended in 1991 during my 1st pregnancy... funny that I've not felt the need to attend another since, in fact as far as I know they're not even available any more round here unless you pay for them.
Wow, love your advice/practical tips on dealing with schools/teachers, really helpful and interesting, thanks! Really sound advice, couldn't agree with you more.

novadandypowder · 23/09/2005 11:57

Hi Enthusia . I don't have a leaflet about introducing cats, but there was a big article about it in a magazine I picked up a couple of months ago that had some useful tips.

Thankfully I don't feel like I really 'needed' the classes it was more for DH's benefit. I get far more info from here! I'm just worried about the poor women who do rely on those classes as most of them are with consultants at the hospital. I'm with the midwife team and they give really good advice, as well as making sure they spend at least 15mins chatting to you each time you go in. And they've all had children themselves.

Seen some really cute things in the Blooming Marvellous catalogue that I might just have to get. Been trying to resist the slogan sleepsuits but some of them are just too sweet:

my first christmas

i love my daddy

baby definition

Also thinking of getting this mousemat for DH as a christmas present from baby