April 2011 - back to back sex and other mysteries

[ILikeToMoveItMoveIt]

Here we go ladies, a brand new sparkly thread that should see us all into our 2nd trimester

Many thanks for the warm welcomes

I've felt lots of movements this evening, I was sitting in quite a twisted position which is why I think I felt it so much.

hi everyone.... hope your all well.

I havent been on here for a while.

We went for another scan last week and thye are dating me at 15 weeks... which I think is wrong but anyway..

Had the scan both babies were wriggling around like you wouldnt believe ! sonographer called the doctor in and he informed us that the one twin is slightly bigger than the other. Wasnt to concerned at first then this doctor (who stayed in the room with me for all of three minutes) proceeded to tell us all the things that could happen if the other two stops growing, if it dies..blah blah blah...

I burst into tears as did my DP. A friend of mine is a midwife and has said that its normal for the babies to b slightly different sizes. ive also been on here asking questions. appaently one twin can have more access to the placenta than the other.

I am ranting a bit as I am LIVID with the doctor.

Both are within the size that they should be both were very active, i feel fine..its just one is slightly smaller....! why couldnt he have put it in a way that didnt feel like my work was ending !!!!!!!!!!!!

i so wish i could have a home birth...why do doctors freak u out ??? ive had nothing but what can go wrong since they found out it was twins. and heres me thinking its a beautiflul thing...

Anyway long post over..sorry ive been away for a while. Will keep u updated. Have another scan in ten days.
One thing I will say this thread cheers me up and still makes me smile , so a huge thank you...xx

Oh hippy twins is a beautiful thing!

I think they're probably just being extra specially careful and conscientious - hence calling in a doctor. When I was bleeding horribly at 6/7 weeks they were telling me to prepare for the worst etc and it all turned out fine. Doctors are obliged to tell you about the worst case scenarios. If my experience taught me anything it's to get in there first with the question 'how likely is it?' before you worry about how serious it is.

Plenty of twins are different sizes!

Morning all.
We've still got no internet here in Darkest Devon, and it turns out all internet providers can only do hideously slow and expensive options. So we're waiting for now. Using phone and PAYG dongle.

I finally had my 16wk appt at 19wks with my new mw, who is wonderful, and exactly like I'd expected/hoped for. Mat unit is at the end of our road, with 1 delivery room (with pool), and 3 post natal rooms. So really hoping I can have baby there.

However, because we moved the new hosp think I've only just discovered I'm pg at 20 wks (20+2 today), so I've got to see the consultant for my 20wk scan on tues. Hope he doesn't find any issues so I can stick with my mw-led plan away from the dreaded hospital.

Baby's been moving lots, but i do start worrying if it's gone quiet for too long.

Can't wait to find out sex on tues.

For any one worried about birth, find Ina May Gaskin's books, she's a proper hippy, but very reassuring!

I agree with Hippy about the doctors and worst case senarios! And not just ont he maternity side either

I mentioned in my last post my FIL had a stroke last thursday. DH rushed to the hospital, we live 2 hours away from where they live, was told that night that things were not looking good and to prepare for the worst. Cue uncontrolable crying from me and very little sleep that night! Next day we went in and they said there was no change and they still didn't know what would happen, but we could clearly see he was more aware and trying to use his right side that was paralysed the day before. This went on for a few days of being told there was no change, but he was making little improvments everyday that we could see.

Then on Friday SIL call to let us know he had been sent home. SENT HOME. 1 week and 1 day after being told that this was it.

I'm actually quite angry about it all because they sent him home with no care set up. Or any kind of home visit to make sure everything was accessable for him. They are on the second floor with no lift. I can only presume they think everything will be ok because he also has bowel cancer and MacMillan Nurses haver been fantastic in getting him all sorts of gadgets and gizmos to help him out etc. Also MIL is there all the time, but she's ill with MS herself (I know not a very well bunch my in laws).
I would hate to think he had been rushed out of hospitall because they needed the bed or something.

Anyway, he is a lot better, but very tired. I only hope he continues to improve the way he has so far.

Rant over, sorry for the epic post!!

Should probably end with something remotely baby related here! How can a glass of milk cause heartburn??????

Your poor fil lismca and what a shabby way to be treated. I have had lots of experience of hospitals and on a ward that was better staffed than most, however the nurses do not have enough time to spend with the patients, so more often than not they are not aware of any small (but often significant) changes in the patient. This (lack of) info is then passed onto the Dr's, and then he tells the family. It's like Chinese whispers. I would NEVER leave a loved one in hospital unless it is totally necessary, because more often than not they'll get better care at home. Such a poor reflection eh?

Petalouda - I love Ina May Gaskin too. It's all very hippyish, but get past that and there is so much wisdom in her words.

How did the appt go firefrakkers, the outcome sounds positive, no?

lisamc that is disgusting..is your FIL over 65? If he is get in touch with social services...

They will do an assessment and (Hopefully) will provide him with any care he should need....to help him and your MIL.

Did the hospital not have a specialist stroke team..its totally disgusting. !!
We have made a decision, the next time we go in my DP is going to stop any negative news in its tracks and just say are they in danger now? and if they go no but..... hes going to ask them to shut up (Poiletly) of course and say we only need to know if there is something seriously wrong.

No point in them telling us what MIGHT happen, anything MIGHT happen. And thats the same in a single pregnancy ! so sorry to hear about you FIL. am delighted he is home now though...

sorry to hear you had such a rubbish time hippy - I think that is a very wise move on your DP's part - there's very little to be gained from worrying about the what-if's. Much easier said than done, I know. Hopefully your next scan will be more positive :)

That's outrageous lisa. Definitely get onto Social Services - for both your FIL and your MIL. She shouldn't be expected to act as a carer with MS.

Appointment I have mixed feelings about. Midwife seemed very suprised that I was referred to her for the consult but was quite helpful overall, especially about setting up the continuous care. They seem very flexible on some things and completely inflexible on others. I broke down in tears because she was insisting I had to have the line for an IV put in upon arrival at the hospital and that an injection for a managed 3rd stage was compulsory etc. I need to do a lot of research and go back with it but I don't think I'll avoid the IV line.... Might be able to negotiate syntocin but no snyometrine for the 3rd stage even though I'd honestly prefer to do it all naturally. The idea of medicalisation freaks me out much, much more than pain and birth.

She wasn't able to clearly explain the system though so I'm as much in the dark as I was before!

On a completely different note does anyone else have a sort-of-bump on only one side? And if not, should I be worrying?

frak - yes, I keep thinking my bump is slightly bigger on the left than on the right - my DP things I'm mad, but I'm sure it is and pretty much always has been!! Maybe we're both freaks...... Two weeks till our next scan - they've been lovely at our hospital and because of our worries over the nuchal measurement the consultant himself is going to do the anomaly scan and they're also going to do a second really detailed scan of the heart to check it out thoroughly (complications likely to be there if little one did happen to be Downs.) So a bit scary but glad that we will be forewarned of any issues. And SO looking forward to seeing Bean wriggling away again! Think I am feeling wriggles every now and again, but you know how it is, trying to work out if it is wriggles or just wind..... Hope everyone has a good start to the week.

Hi all

hippy and LisMca hugs. Stupid docs.

I am fuming today. We were out with the Inlaws yest at an event for FIL and i was getting stretchy twinges for being on my feet, so i was rubbing my sides and bump. MIL (who often doesnt think before she speaks and speaks her mind - but is mostly lovely, and a former midwife!) patted my bump and said i should be 34 weeks for my size! I said i am small with a short middle (i am 4ft11) so it's got to go somewhere and it doesnt go when i breathe in. She just looked at me as if to say yeah right. I was so upset. When we first said i was pregnant she said you wont show for ages cos of your tum ( i am a 14). So not the 1st insult i have had. DH said she wont have meant it how it came out but he wasnt there and sadly she does. I cried on the way home. I have issues with my weight. Went on ww before my wedding and lost almost a stone which is obviously all piling back on now. Have also had probs with my own mum making hurtful remarks in the past so it just opened it all up and i feel miserable.

:( kittycatcat That's just really insensitive. I think all pregnant women are sensitive about their weight and you'd think a former MW would know that!

A wise plan Hippy. I think people do need to know all possibilities, but it's how you deliver that information that is important. However most HCP's I have come across seem to have missed the tact and diplomacy part of their training.

Like you say, there are so many possibilites in EVERY pregnancy, but sometimes you just need to cross that hurdle WHEN you get to it.

Firefrakkers - Apologies if this sounds patronising, but I've found that rather than saying no to something you have to negotiate a compromise. This often means you ultimately get what you want, but the HCP's feel that they are still in charge

For example, you can say you will be having a natural 3rd stage, however if it is deemed appropriate you will accept the managed 3rd stage, but it is only to be actioned upon yours or your dh's explicit verbal agreement.

The same with having a line put in. Make it clear that you are not saying no, but only if and when it is necessary.

Your body, your choice

I've always made it clear that if push comes to shove and something is necessary then I'm happy for whatever to happen. It's the automaticness that I dislike.

'You have to have a line in'
'You have to have the injection'

No, no I don't have to if it's not medically necessary! I see what you're saying that putting in an IV line will save time in an emergency but saying 'you're not going to be able to avoid the automatic IV' and 'everyone has an injection after birth' isn't productive, particularly in my case where a lot of the concerns I have are about things being done too me without good reason. It was like she hadn't actually heard of a natural 3rd stage Everyone has to have the injection.

I've already negotiated down to the catheter and tap rather than being instantly hooked up to saline...

Oh blimey, they really do like a medical and managed birth don't they? And that's fine if necessary, but when it's not it's just invasive. Remind me, where are you?

I still think a managed 3rd stage is the norm in the UK - it's almost expected, and to not take the option is seen as a bit weird.

Nobody likes to be told what to do, especially when it's about your own body.

WRT to the catheter, do you mean that they put that in so they can measure your urine output. Then if it's below what they would like they'll then hook you up to the saline? If that's the case, can you say you'll pee into a jug so they can measure it that way? Not great, but an alternative?

If you want me to shut up, I will. I am aware that I can be a bit bossy, but I would like to think I'm helping rather than annoying you

Catheter as in IV catheter not wee output catheter! I think they'd quite like that as well but it's so not happening...

I'm sort of in France. Technically it's France at least. But kinda more France-in-the-50s. So yes, medicalised and managed all the way which is really ironic when you consider that Leboyer and Odent are both French!

The opinions do help! I'm aware I'm not completely rational when it comes to this and I have no idea what the 'norms' are. It's just so frustrating when I try to be sensible and say 'of course I understand that sometimes it's going to medically necessary' and then they try to steamroll me and tell me it is medically necessary, all of it, when I know perfectly well it's not actually necessary, merely preferable.

I thought it was France (or sort of France!), but wasn't sure.

I've seen other posters on MN who are living in France and have said how medicalised it is there. It's either no pain relief or straight to epidural, or something like that - yikes.

The thing is, yes you know that you aren't always being rational, but at least you are aware of that. However it is up to your carers (MW's etc) to help you work through it and make it an easier experience for you. Telling you what to do just makes it worse and makes you feel out of control. Not nice.

The good thing is you sound pretty clued up, and that's really positive.

Totally unrelated, but I've just been reading a book about Agincourt. It was really very good

19 weeks today! It's about time, anyone else feel like they've been pg forever already?

DP very annoyed as I'm having to buy my x-rays from the NHS. I had quite massive pelvic surgery as a child and, as this is DC1, they're not sure about delivery etc and want to see the x-rays of my pelvis.

I'm having said baby and all my appointments at my local hospital, the one I've used for 25 years and the one that I've been to to have pelvis and hip x-rays loads of times. But I have to buy a copy of my x-rays 'because they were not taken for obstetric purposes so can't be passed on to the ante-natal clinic'!

Am In work reading the thread...shouldnt be...but anyway !

See what I mean by doctors, and im not saying ALL of them are bad, It just seems to be that they are OVER cautious sometimes.

Kittykat Rise above your MIL. as long as you and your bump are happy and healthy who cares !! you can always go back on WW after the birth? ...
Right better get back to work.....! will be abck on later when I get home no doubt....

cycle 19 weeks today here too :) and yes it is taking forever lol
Can't believe you are having to pay for the x-rays craziness!!!

Well today I have been....buying nappies lol. Have decided to get a selection of different types pre-loved (am going for re-usable, although I will be starting out with disposables for the first few weeks) I figure I can try a few, figure out which ones suit us, and re-sell any that I'm not keen on. Yes I'm starting early but I want to leave the big buys until after xmas and don't want to be spending much on baby stuff at the same time as buying xmas pressies.....that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it lol.

I'm always amazed how much I have to catch up on when I come to post here!

Hippy I think you're decision on how to handle doctors sounds just right! Even at 'normal' GP appointment I feel bamboozled by everything they tell me 'just in case' with all things baby related I seem to get to that point so much quicker.

When I went to the MW last week (for my belated 16wk check) she agreed that I had sciatica and referred me to physio. In the meantime advice is take paracetomol which I'm now fretting about taking too much after reading an article on the BBC website about low level painkillers harming babies during the second trimester. I'm in quite a lot of pain and feel like there's nothing I can do

I'm sure I'm over thinking things because I'm over tired (3.30am I woke up!!) and will be rational tomorrow...maybe!

I think some internet window shopping is in order for distraction purposes And for those who mentioned bumps going to one side, mine does that and it's quite obvious which side Baby Beetle is lying!

hi... beetlebaby I just watched the BBC news and it was talking about pain killers, MAYBE having an affect..I do think that soon pregnant women wont be able to leave the house for fear of what might happen...!

What about the millions of women who have been taking paracetemol throughout their pregnancies and the babies are fine? Itll be something else next week.

I went to My MIL for dinner the other week and I was trying to explain to her what I could and couldnt eat and she was like we had none of this in my day, obviously the not smoking taking drugs...the 'normal' stuff you need to be mindfull off but soon we will be able to do nothing !

Cyclebump its funny I was literally just saying to my DP i dont think I can wait five months too meet them ! im not the most patient anyway...

Ive anotehr hospital appointment on wednesday so wish eme luck..will keep u updated...

By the way is anyone else allready in Pyjamas??

Yes hippy, pyjamas are on already here too! Good luck for your appointment on Wednesday, your tactic sounds good!

Can I join the club? I've just had a shower and I've got my dressing gown on.

Do you have time to go swimming Beetle? My friend swore that swimming helped ease her sciatica.

I am very of all you lot going 'oohh, I'm 19 weeks'. I'm 15 weeks and that 4 weeks difference seems HUGE. I've got to wait just over a month for my 20 week scan

Good luck for Weds hippy

A double yes from me,

I am also 19 weeks and also in my pajamas as I snuck into the shower at half 6 whilst DH bathed DS so now I can have an extra 20/30 mins in bed tomorrow morning

20 week scan in 7 days.

I'm just in from work and wish I were in my PJ's. Looks like it's going to be a looonnnnnggggg week!!

Thanks for your comments on FIL. He's only 63, but Social Services are already aware of him and MIL because of care issues. They live with SIL who is technically their carer, but she works full time and has a life outside the house!

Anyhoo, he is doing well and has been out witht he dog in his wheelchair. DH has started calling him ironside! :o

I've started being sick again! Thought all that stopped 3 weeks ago, but no! Ah well never mind only 23 weeks to go!!