The PESH Deli - No ESH left behind

[PerfectDromedary]

I have opened the virtual gin, found the Desperate Romantics and am about to start playing I've Never. Who's with me?

Good luck Vaggie - lots of hot curry & orgasmic secks for you tonight!!!

Tis 2 years ago tomorrow that I went in to be induced with DD....she was right way round & turned back to back so there is time for minivag to spin into optimal position. Wasn't too bad and sooo worth it when I got my baybee

Looking forward to hearing all about on the other side...

Hey vag. I don't know why you are assuming October birth date. You've still got 7 hours to go.

Good luck me matey. Bring us another beautiful baybee.

Go vagalicious!! Will be thinking of you and wishing you a spinning baybee and one mahoooooosive sneeze minus the snot et voilà! A child is born.

Finally got out of the house and walked the dawg. Some dickweed with 4 springers who can't control them and doesn't give a shit that his dogs are nearly knocking me over despite me telling him I am pregnant and can he call his mob cos I don't want to fall over. The arrogant div just raises his eyebrows at me and ignores me! I phoned HI to let off steam and he says it doesn't help that I don't look pregnant. I am 37+3 I mean you can hardly get much more preggo surely!!!!!

VAG I know you're going to be busy tomorrow afternoon - but please please please text us when you have happy news! I can't wait to find out the name of this little one - something Egyptian perhaps? There are some really positive induction stories over on the Childbirth bit - and don't forget cossie threatened Artie with induction and he decided to play ball in the end - with literally hours to spare!

silver Post your bump for our approval? What a prick obviously - some people are just utter wankers. The first day I took Bear out in the pram some utter witch nearly ran us over on her bicycle coming down a hill out of control. It was a footpath ONLY and as I swore at her retreating arse she shouted "I dinged my bell, you're supposed to move". Cunt. :(

GOOD LUCK VAG!! You'll be fine. As Ski said, maybe now would be a good time to pack the bag and stuff? Sorry, ArcticFox. No...wait... MountainHare. Ahh, fuckitt.

Good luck VAG the hippobirthing will get you through from the off. Don't be scared, you have the power of the BESH with you at every contraction and push

VAGGOOOOOOOOO good luck to you my lovely. Am sending you big PESHY vibes and a tray of smelly cheese for afters. Remember to do raspberries with your lips and chant "open" alot. :)

I'd just like to say cunty you can count me out of the contraction & push stage . Ta muchly. My BESH powers will return with the arrival of a sweet talc smelling cherub

Ah yes, of course!

Really though it s nothing to be scared of. It doesn't hurt.

Cunty you make me piss myself laughing..

What? What did I say?!

Good luck Vag - could still pop out yet! My sister was another one who scared her baby into coming out all by himself after threatening him with induction.

"It doesn't hurt"

Hand on heart - it didn't for me! Clucky will confirm she thought she had turned up to collect DD from the wrong house as it was all far too peaceful to be containing a woman just about to squeeze a baby out. It was so easy I was extremely surprised to hear I needed any stitches at all, let alone a lot of stitches.

Have none of you ploughed through Dr Dick-whatever-his-name-is book? It's not supposed to hurt, is it?

Before anyone thinks I am being really flippant, please bear in mind I have also endured a 42hr marathon labour complete with near-death experience (x2!) I was mightily surprised to find that magic sneezes do exist, but feel I need to spread the word now .

Oh yes Vag - the secks DOES work. Both times for me .

Good luck Vag!

Just a quick one to wish VAG all the very best of luck and say I am not going to Alaska, although thanks all the advice. Will give deets tomorrow but only just got in and.... must..... sleep....

First of many long weekends tomorrow! yey!

It didn't hurt me either (until I was being fed syntocin whilst being told NOT to push, but that's not likely to happen to anyone else - had it not been for that episode I can confidently say that I was so zoned into the breathing and visualising that it didn't hurt). I honest to god did not think to myself at any time during my contractions 'ouch that really hurts' - aware of it yes, and yes it was more than discomfort, but not agonising pain like I was led to believe. Mind I went into it with a total PMA and no fear because I was confident that I had a selection of coping tools at my disposal. Knowledge is very definitely power.

Reading that back it sounds a bit smug. It's not supposed to be, it's just for anyone who is v nervous about the birthing process and pain, it can be managed by mind over matter - I'm proof of that and I'm not given to airy fairy hippy shite as a rule

lozzer My baybee was delivered in a fluffy white towel being cuddled by a male nurse who looked like a Hell's Angel AND I still have the cervix of a 12 year old. My front door was not for the opening despite medical crowbars being applied. See, dreams can come true!

(Fuckin' 'urt though - but tbh I think it was the fear of knowing it was going wrong which was exacerbating things. I was watching the CTG monitor show Bear's hb dip to 60 - you try and keep calm under such circumstances! :( )

Just to add to the pain convo, I'm not going to say the contractions were a piece of piss in the final couple of hours, but they were ok in the run up. And for the actual birth any serious pain I had was entirely related to my bad hips/pelvis and not the Ring of Fire etc that you usually hear about. I reckon if I'd had the time to learn the hippobirthing, which was my plan for the four weeks Squeaker "stole", it would have been much easier. I had the PMA but not the coping tools to keep it up.

Plz to tell secret of amazing pain free births? I would really like to have a home birth but think a/ our house is too small, b/ our walls are too thin, c/ its way to early to be thinking about it. Also can't figure out the logistics of filling and emptying a birthing pool

lozzer I know what you mean about feeling a bit in limbo. I felt a bit disloyal to the BESHes but didn't want to bang on about pregnancy over there, so took the plunge. Only symptoms I have are raging thirst and torpedo norks.

So saw the GP yesterday and she categorically said she didn't think the trip was a good idea. Mainly due to the 4 connections that if something did happen then would I want to be stuck 20 hrs and 4 flights away from home? Exactly my thinking. It would be completely different if I was going on holiday with TB and/or family but the trip was going to be quite hard work as well so she also didn't think my energy levels at 7 weeks would be up to it regardless of whether I get sickness or not. She offered to write me a note but I said that wasn't necessary. My boss has been marvelous about it and someone else is going. I am a bit disappointed but felt a big weight lift when she told me not to go so I think its the right decision.

Wonder if clint has snuck in past the wire...

Am flatly refusing to think about birth etc just yet. Am only just coming to terms with idea of possibly being sick. But I will most definitely be looking into hippobirthing. I've attended yoga classes for many years & I swear its helped me cope with many a stressful situation.

rocket sorry to hear about your trip. I'm off to the States next week. Checked with FC, they didn't say "Go" in , but she did say they had a BA Cabin Crew member in during the week who said no evidence to suggest any problems, also the States has a good health system. So she said to take it easy, enjoy hols & they'd see me after for a scan. Yikes.

Can't concentrate for thinking of vag today.

Like curly I was planning on doing the hippo stuff during my maternity leave. In the end I spent that one frickin day doing other things. I would advise anyone who wants to do hippo to start at 7 months - because, not to put to fine a point on it - if you go in to labour before then you're using the cat-flap or it'll be a tiddler.

rocket I think it's probably for the best - don't think there could be an intervention at 7 weeks, but if something does go wrong you'll prefer to be miserable at home rather than in the air.

VAG's phone number is in the other place I think if you want to spam-sms her.

rocket Pain free? Yes, that's called an epidural and I am a huge fan.

Thinking of you today Vag . Go with what works for you at each stage. There's no medals but there is a prize at the end, so do what you need to to get yourself to that point. It goes differently for each of us.

Will be thinking of you all day.