December 2010: no, it's not an autumn pumpkin up my jumper ...

[Miffster]

...and we're gliding towards the third trimester, draped in suitably flowing attire.

Thanks for the thumbs up on Jasper!

Totally agree with you Laure - people shouldn't be advised to go onto benefits when they are willing and keen to work... The system is screwed when you are better off not working at the age of 22.

You're making perfect sense Laure!! And great to hear you have that support and ability to keep studying and have someone helping out with the baby . By the way you dont need to explain anything - I'm just being curious!

:) I know I just set off and then couldnt stop typing haha! on other news...Im getting another 4d scan tommorow :o VERY excited to see her again!

Here comes a mega epic response to loads of people because I have been reading but not posting for the last few days...

Notso, wow, at only putting on 2 lbs! have decided not to weigh self but think my arms/bum/legs have suddenly started looking fatter so think I need to up the moving around...hard when more tired and breathless. LOL at what you wanted to say to women in shop.

wholelotta sorry to hear about strep positive, hope it is a false positive from next test. With you on the wanting a hug/to be looked after thing. My mum died in 2007, I miss her right now especially.

Kellestar how is your SPD doing? thanks for the advice about pumping up ball more. Have been signed off for the next 2 weeks though may go back next week - being able to sleep during day, wear a back brace & live in yoga pants makes such a difference. Sorry your MIL is being such a pain.

Chooster WLL, Japhrimel C&G DF and everyone with breech/transverse babies, eek, mine too, are you doing lots of hands and knees stuff? I was looking at Spinning babies site last night for ideas...so many of us have this concern that it is quite reassuring in a way though, hopefully they will all flip upsidedown in good time to be born...naughty babies!

Reshape and kittybump sorry to hear you have been ill. I had the flu jab yesterday and feel better that it has been done - no ill effects - and know from experience how struggling for breath and hallucinating with fever is frightening even when not pg, plus the exhaustion lasts for 6+ weeks when I get flu and afterwards I go down with every bug for months so really, really do not want to get it this year.

crazyKat sorry about pain and possible infection

ButtonAzure hope you enjoy your trip and get to fly!

jpbobpip08 thanks for the helpful kick advice

emmaxmas hope you can starting nesting and sleeping better soon

Cheryl sorry to hear you have been so stressed and feeling poorly on top and glad the ECG was reassuring - it is ACE news about the baby bowels being non echogenic.

japhrimel, really feeling for you with the itching, it drove my SIL mad when she had it and sorry you are having to chase all the medics up and do it all yourself.

93pjb what a pain about the huge bottle of wee! Glad it was all right in the end though

maxpower happy wedding anniversary! Love all the baby name choices. And to you and everyone not sleeping properly, sympathies. I had an acupuncture treatment for the back pain and she did a sleep spot as well and since then, it has helped, I only wake up once or twice to wee now, not every hour and can nap in the day more. Might be worth looking into?

Lavita wow at 6 weeks to go! Really wishing you well with the last lap...

Mrs Snaplegs, so sorry bloody housing situation STILL going on, am on your behalf, this is unbelievable!

Pjen am and at the horrible way you were treated by selfish, inconsiderate driver and others after nightmare shopping trip, what BASTARDS! I hope karma gets them all good and proper

WWSB think child benefit has been completely mishandled, surely it should be on household income, otherwise completely unfair. With you on having birth anxiety metdowns, will post more on that later...Dried apricots, live yoghurt, chopped prunes (have them all with muesl first thing) helps me with the bunged up thing...also bouncing on a ball?

Scaltini welcome!

Strix at mw not getting it about scar, pleased you have stopped flying about though!

lauranameium good luck with the scan.

Phew, sorry for heeuge giant post!

I do agree with all of you that more means-tested benefits should be worked out on household income. That should apply both ways round IMO! It's particularly annoying when there are so many things you can't get because of household income. E.g. in my case, I haven't been able to work full-time (or at all) and paid (I now do voluntary work where I set my own hours and workload, but get paid nothing) for years and there have been lots of benefits I wasn't eligible for because of DH's income. But as he is in the 40% tax bracket, our take-home money is less than a couple each earning half as much as he is.

I'm getting a bit confused, but what I meant to say was that it makes sense IMO to look at household income for everything.

Miffster - I haven't started doing much positioning stuff, although I'm trying to make an effort to spend less time leaning back. It's tough though when I'm supposed to put my feet up when possible with the SPD so was working on the laptop with my legs up on the sofa.

But I know my LO is still moving a lot, so I'm not too worried. She does seem to be spending more and more time head down, which is good, if uncomfortable, but she rolls around a few times a day atm. I guess that will lessen as she gets plumper and so has less room.

I've worked out that if I get a horrible lower back ache, that means she's back-to-back. So I do use positioning moves, e.g. swinging my pelvis while on hands and knees, then to get her to move.

Morning all.

Does everyone find it easy to feel what position their baby is in? I can't tell which probably means I am just rubbish at spotting the relevant bumps and lumps! My job involves some going down on my hands and knees so I am trying to keep that up even though lovely work-mate tries to stop me. I am terrible for lounging about and leaning back though so I should try harder.

I also feel so lucky that I haven't had a moment of back pain ...yet. It is funny what you worry about though, my work-mate said my bump looked smaller yesterday and I started to worry that perhaps it's stopped growing. I have had plenty of movement though.

miffster I've been on the spinning babies site too, really should start doing some of the excercises. Is anyone going to be doing perineal massage and drinking Raspberry leaf tea?

DF, I could definitely feel the baby's head and back last night, it was very strange, I am getting a bit worried about poking him so hard and damaging his eyes or ears or something, does anyone else worry about grappling with their baby's bits through their tummy?

I looked at raspberry leaf tea yesterday and decided to get the loose stuff from Neal's Yard and ask one of the herbalists there how much to take and how long to brew. I think I will start it at 32 weeks not 30.

DH has made interested noises about helping me with perineal massage but has so far failed to do it. I am not sure if I am very keen on the idea of him doing it or not, but also not sure if I will be able to reach the right place soon!

Wow, miffster - i think that wins the prize for the most giant post! I'm very impressed :)

Its really interesting to hear everyones views on the CB thing (BTW, I'm not a journalist, in case you're worrying about the questions). Being the saddo that I am, I used to want to be a politician until I discovered that I'm too normal to be one (i.e. my views are too central and my past not quite clean enough ) but I still genuinely worry about issues like this and what the best thing to do is. I genuinely like knowing other people's points of view, particularly other "normal" people, because all too often, our views don't get heard as we're drowned out by those with really entrenched views. So anyway, the point is, its interesting to see the variety of feeling about CB cuts, and the arguments in this thread are far more balanced and reasoned than in the political threads!

Anyway, back on more immediate topics... thank you for the advice on the constipation. I was religiously eating dried fruits for the first five months, but I can't face it anymore, which is probably why its worse now. It doesn't help that prunes make me feel sick at the best of times!!

DF I'm going to be doing perineal massage - not sure on the raspberry leaf tea though but will look into that. I can't tell which way round it is by feeling it, but I'm guessing by the position of the kicks, which are generally low down.

Generally I'm going to try to spend large parts of my ML (which starts at 35 weeks) not lounging around so that LO is encouraged to get in the right position. I find LO moves round to a good position every time I go swimming (lots of tumble turns by me seems to work!!) but he/she always goes back to breech/B2B within a few hours. LO also starts kicking and punching madly when I lie on my right hand side, which is odd, but annoying for DH as he cuddles me when I'm lying on my left, so he doesn't feel that many kicks!

To whoever it was who said about sleeping issues even though they're comfy - reading Dr Miriam Stoppard's free book from Pg and Birth magazine, she reckons its because your baby's metabolism is going 24 hours a day and doesn't slow up at night (like ours does) - so you are kept awake by the fact that your baby's engine is running at full speed all the time! Don't know how true that is, but I like the theory.

Oh yes, if any of you are using Bio Oil, its half price in branches of Lloyds Pharmacies at the moment.

I am going to be the black sheep here and say I don't think CB should be means tested. I work very hard, and so does DH. We spend a bloomin' fortune on childcare in order to be available for our jobs. We have virtually nothing left at the end of the month. We can't afford to buy a house. We don't go on holidays - certainly not international ones. My children don't know their American cousins, grandparents, etc. because travel to Chicago is so far out of budget it isn't even worth contemplating. I will (just) manage three months of maternity leave. CB is the onlything I get back from my enormous tax bill and quite frankly I need it. I am not wealthy. I have just given up my car because I can't afford it, and it is 10 years old so not worth much of anything but a lot of repair bills anyway.

Yet, I am somehow grouped with the wealthy people of this country. It's preposterous. I can't work more than I do unless I give up sleep. And it hacks me off that people can choose to stay home and then be rewarded for it because everything is "means" tested. I would much prefer to see a system where people who are trying to earn a living are rewarded for their hard work.

It's about time the government acknowledges the real cost of childcare in this country. And, if they are going to means test, they should subtract my childcare cost before they look at my income because what is left paints a very different picture from the gross income figure.

I am mighty about the CB announcement. Can you tell?

df i also havent got a clue what position my baby is in! She moves around ALOT though and the kicks all seem to come from the middle of my tummy!I'll tell you what that means after this scan!

Does anyone have any more tactile ways to tell someone to get lost?! Im pretty much being stalked by a woman from my work. She rings me every day Im there, and a lot of the time when Im not and at really ridiculous and inconvenient times...often waking me up from naps etc. Yesterday she had left me a cornish pasty on a plate with a note underneath it saying EAT and I've just checked my emails and found one off her informing me that she will be taking my baby out for walks when she is born and that she is crb checked so Im not to worry!

I know she means well and Im being mean and selfish but I just want her to leave me alone!

Strix when I say it should CB be based on HH income, I also think that HH income shoulld be set pretty high, to take account of the cost of childcare etc. Ideally it should remain universal, but I can see cuts do have to be made.

Fucking bankers.

Fucking banks.

Why have there not been riots about some of the people gambling with our money and fucking up our economy? There are people earning bonuses who should be in bloody prison.

Lauren, you are not being mean and selfish. She is being intrusive (and creepy). And if it was me, I certainly wouldn't welcome it either. I do believe these things are better dealt with sooner and not later.

Next time she told me what she was doing with the baby, I'd probably (jokingly and lightly) remind her that the baby is actually mine and not hers.

I would stop answering the phone when she calls (at least at home).

If she doesn't take the hintI would explain in a more serious setting that whilst I appreciate her offers I'm not making any plans for the baby until I have recovered from the birth and can then guage how much help I need/want and how much I atually prefer to do myself.

Miffster (and others), as I reread my little rant - okay big rant - I see I have actually done more to argue for means testing. I just want my childcare bill subtracted first. And I think they should do the same thing before they work out my income tax and NI contributions.

I also think taxing people on the whole household income would be a step forward. It seems couples should be free to decide amongst themselves how they wish to divide the responsibilities, whether that is both working or one working and the other looking after the children / household. The whole point of marriage (I thought) was that you become one united partnership in life. So, why should you then be split for tax purposes?

Strix I do agreee with you that CB should be a universal benefit or not at all, but if they do make cuts it should be fairer.

I hate the way that so much is being taken away from children and families, it makes no sense. Plus I agree, childcare costs need to be looked at but I bet that will be something the tories cut back on too. I am convinced they want more women in the home so that there are more jobs for men and then the unemployment figures will look better.

laurenamium - let me know what way round the baby is

Your work mate sounds odd. I would send something back like 'not bloomin likely, the baby will be staying with me for some time' but then I am a wuss and would really feel more like mailing back 'BACK OFF - you're getting on my tits now'

good grief laurenamium, you are SO not being mean, she is being totally inappropriate!

I would email her back saying I understood she wished to be supportive and helpful to me; this is how I would like her to be supportive. Please give me space, this means do not phone me, use email if you need to get in contact, I am finding the current level of contact with you uncomfortable and inappropriate, many thanks for your understanding, sincerely, Miffster.

Then if she carries on I'd have something in writing making it clear that her behaviour was crossing a line. Which you might need to have, she sounds bats.

I had someone stalk me once, they ended up in serious trouble over it, so this is why I am particularly {shock] about it as it started with inappropriate and constant expressions of 'care' and 'advice' and the aim was to make me feel somehow grateful, and guilty for not wanting her 'help' when in fact this person was quite twisted and trying to insinuate herself into my life for her own odd reasons - she then turned on me and it all got very difficult.

She was not mentally at all well, though capable of appearing fine to the widerworld.

:(

anyway, big sympathies and good luck with holding your boundaries!

Strix I am with you on the CB, on paper I look fairly well off, if you include my bonus (If I achieve it) I am in the higher tax bracket, but I worked my ass off to get to a position where I earnt this much money. I grew up with nothing and believe that if you work hard you should be rewarded for it, I get taxed a huge amount. I don't resent that but I think CB makes everyone feel part of the system and included and will only alienate people. I don't even want to imagine childcare costs with twins

It always bugs me when they say people working full time on minimum pay when they mean a 35 hour week. I do a minimum 50 and it has often been a 70 hour working week on my way up the ladder, so whilst on a great salary if you broke this down into an hourly rate it doesn't look so rosy after all.

Rant over

Lauren God that women sounds like a loon I would go with Miffster's advice and I would mention it to someone else you trust at work. Very odd!

lauren I agree with everyone else, she sounds bonkers and I'd also go with Miffster's advice. How strange.

WRT transverse and breech babies, mine still feels transverse but seems to be doing some rolling so limbs out front and then back again, but not actually turning. However, I think it went diagonal (can't remember term for it) earlier this week, so hopefully it is starting to think about turning. At this stage, as I understand it, there's no need to panic, but I am finding the transverse lie rather uncomfy!

lavita my standard working week is 37 hours, although I am part time so do 30. DH however is classed as part time because he looks after DD one day a week and works a Sat morning instead and he does well over 40 hours a week.

Right I am working at home today so better go back to the other laptop now.

Are you ready for this ............ ?

We have informally been offered a house - it doesn't meet all of our requirements for my condition but I am so fed up of waiting now I will pretty much take a shoe box if it means we can be back together as a family!

We still have to wait until the end of Oct to move as there is someone still living in it and then it needs completely redecorating and adaptations putting in but it has 4 walls and a roof

So I can now start planning and getting excited about having a baby in - ooh 8 1/2 weeks

Luckily they do most of the work with the packing although we do have to do the unpacking. We will have to sell some of our furniture to be able to fit into the house which is a bit of a shame but the money will be useful I suppose.

Suddenly the sun is out and it is a brighter day! Will read and catch up properly later but thought you might like some good news!

I think my real bugbear is the working week legislation, my local MP and canvasser's (sp?) came round door to door before the last election and asked if I had any issues. I bet they wished they hadn't asked!

The Uk signed out of the 48 week working time directive, elsewhere in Europe you are not supposed to work more than this. If you are working an hourly wage, it is in your best interests to work as many hours as you want/can to earn money. However a lot of companies make you waive your right to the 48 hour week, when signing your contract when on a salary. Otherwise you wouldn't get the job, then you are expected to work extra hours when people are on holiday, if someone is sick etc. It's very unfair. I work in the hospitality industry but I know it's not limited to this sector. A lot of people are in a higher tax bracket but really put in the hours.

Right no more complaining from me unless it's about pregnancy

I am actually in a really good mood because I made 2 new friends today 2 mums with twins came into my restaurant and we got talking and have swapped numbers/emails. They've said I can join their little twin club. They met whilst out walking and have said to contact them if I have any questions and we can meet up for coffee once I'm up to getting out and about!

MrsSnapLegs So pleased for you, it must be such a relief

I got lost. Are you for or against capping the workweek at 48 hours?

I'm lost too sorry..

I'm for being allowed to work as many hours as you individually want to work, which is ok if you are on a variable rate of pay. I'm against being paid a fixed wage where you are forced to work excess hours, and just be paid your set salary. I think that contracts should state your maximum hours and agree an overtime payment if you do more than this. Many companies just expect salaried staff to pick up the slack of illness/staff shortages/holidays with no extra pay.

Does that make sense?

Yes, got it now.

I have of course signed the exemption every place I've worked. I don't mind puttin in the hours if I am rewarded with career progression. This did not happen last place I worked. So I spoke with my feet and left.

Congratulations MrsSnapLegs

At last