December 2010, where we waft about in mat gear eating icecream

[Miffster]

Yo December 2010 ladies, here we go - the mid-point of our pregnancies...and beyond!

Hello all - I haven't been on in a while because I've been so busy on work, but I've been staying up to date with all the news. I'm sorry to hear people are having a rough time - particularly C&G - this stress is not what you need at any time but let alone right now - I wish you well. Wholelottalove I can relate to the combination of stressful job, toddler and pregnancy. You do need to try and take it easy - which of course is easy to say. I have days at work where I just think there is no way I can sustain the pace (13 meetings in one day anyone?). But you can only do what you can do.

For all those retail bunnies out there ( Pjen I am looking at you ) I would urge you to have a look at www.kiddicare.com for an excellent range of everything you could possibly want for a baby/child, at very reasonable prices and with very fast delivery.

Oh, and MrsS - FAB trike.

MrsS Looks great :o how are you finding the cycling? I like Hugh, very nice name.

Wholelotta Sorry you had such a bad day :( Hope you're relaxing with your feet up now and have a lie in tomorrow if you can.

Maxpower Thanks, I'm wondering if I'll be able to at the moment even if I wasn't terrified at the thought of being in the same room as him.

My leg/hip has got soo much worse, all of a sudden today it's bee hurting. Went out earlier with the dog and kids, was all fine, walked about, park etc lovely day. Past couple of hours it's got worse and worse, hobbling along now and even sitting is killing me. Also feel very crampy and achy in both legs, hips, front and back. Really hoping I don't stay like this.

C&G first day today was a bit nerve wracking and I am very sore - back, bottom muscles etc Probably a good thing as I have my OT assessment at 0830 in morning so she will see the effects this is having on my ME - I shouldn't be so determined to stay at work and should go off sick but that's just not me Good Luck for Friday by the way - be strong

mrsS love the trike - it looks ace. I am still cycling too, dd is in a seat in front of me so I think I'll give up when I can't fit in behind her anymore! Hopefully I've got another month or so left.

c&g thinking of you for Friday - what a lot you've got on your plate right now so no wonder sleep is elusive.

wholelotta hope you feel better for a day off.

Another envelope opening here and it's ... A boy! Does that even things up a bit?

Hello everyone! Sorry it's been so long. I've had a bit of a mammoth week. Advance apologies for the forthcoming uber-post

I'm almost all unpacked now and loving having somewhere to nest. DH won't be joining me in Bristol for a couple of weeks, so I can get the place exactly how I like it!

Had a lovely weekend floating down the Thames and London canals on a narrowboat belonging to a relative of DH. Pretty sure I had a Braxton Hicks on Saturday evening though, while walking to a curry house (probably brought on by walking too fast in anticipation).

I've discovered that Bristol Freecycle is amazing. I've got a desk, wok, bread bin, magazine rack and baby bottle steriliser all this week!

I've had a great week for ticking things off the baby list too. I got a Bebecar racer travel system on eBay. I needed something that's both versatile and tough enough to cope with muddy festivals, so it seemed perfect really. Also, Greenbaby are having a massive sale at the moment, so got almost everything on the list we can't get second hand, including gorgeous half price sheepskins!

Funny that others have been finding stuff in their food. Rather frighteningly I found some small shards of glass in my breakfast smoothie on Monday. I'm pretty sure I didn't swallow any as I always let it melt totally in my mouth before swallowing but it was still quite worrying. :(

In other news I went to a pregnancy yoga class today. It was nice to meet some other people but the class itself was just SO boring. I need to find a class that isn't just for beginners >

Morning all,

I too have been manic at work and not coping at all with the stress (and I haven't got a toddler). I haven't managed 13 meetings in one day pjb but I have had days when I've had back to back meetings/calls from 9am till 5.30pm (and then putting the phone down to discover cheeky messages such as "I've been trying to get hold of you but you seem to be engaged" Yes FUCKWIT, I have been on the phone with another client. The world does not revolve around you!

The MW says I should take yoga classes to calm down but I think I'll just get wound up by being forced to sit still.

GGG and others (there seem to be a lot of you!) - Sue!! emotional trauma and all that? Well, maybe not sue, but definitely kick up a fuss. Its not being litigious, its making sure that these companies sort out their H&S procedures so that some poor kid doesn't choke to death on a piece of plastic. Totally unacceptable in any form.

kittybump - bravissimo in Solihull were lovley, though make sure you make an appt for a fitting and tell them you're pg, as one of the girls in there didn't know anything about bravissimo's approach to fitting pg women. Wish I could remember the name of the girl I saw but I can't, sorry.

Have any of you done NCT classes in the past? Just found out that DH is going to be away for half of the classes and so I'm wondering how much he needs to know (i.e. does he really need to come to them?). Any experience here from you wiser women who've already got the T-shirts.

Had our 20wk scan this week and managed to avoid accidentally finding out the sex, so its a suprise for us. But we're settled on a girls name - more stuck on boys names. At the moment Jonny, Harry, Oliver and Ben are top of my list (I'm a traditionalist) but none of them stand out in the way that the girl's name does. Which means at the moment I'm half hoping for a girl just so I can use the name!

WWSB, I so hear you re clients who think the world revolves around them. I hate those sorts of voice messages. I also hate people who send an email and then follow it up with a phone call two seconds later when you don't respond IMMEDIATELY. Roll on November. (Although I am lying awake at night wondering how I am going to possibly hand all of this stuff over to someone else...hmmm...maybe I should just do what my predecessor did and condense an incredibly complex role into an A4 page of meaningless bullet points, get the hell out of there, and leave the next victim to spend the next 6 months crying in the toilets... ). And breathe...

Anyhoo - I have certainly done NCT classes and I thought they were great. For me it was fantastic that my DH could attend, as he simply wasn't reading any of the books I had and frankly would have had no idea what was going on in the delivery room had he not been forced to sit through two hours every Monday night for a few weeks...Also it was good because we met other couples and he made some new friends too. Having said all of that, if your DH can come to some classes he will still meet people, and I assume that he is nowhere near as ostrich-like as mine and will actually want to find out about birth, babies etc, so won't need to be dragged kicking and screaming to a class to do it...

Wow - lots of posts!

Thanks for all the tips about the MATB form. I think my surgery are a bit rubbish to be honest as it took them so long to arrange the booking with the midwife I was almost 13 weeks by the time I saw her.

mrsSanaplegs I LOVE love love the trike, you are so brave. I used to cycle a lot and would like to again but DH is a bit unsure about it as the journey to work is half on the road and half off road. he thinks I will get hit! I like Hugh too :)

cheryl I love Spencer too. Katy is my sister's name (With the Y) so I really like that and I think it's underused so you won't have loads in the same school year. Sorry to hear about the cot. I was a bit worried about the moses basket I went to collect but it was great. Ebay can be such a pain at times. I hope they will let you take it back, I think if it's not been described properly then you can.

maxpower that's some impressive baby brain I am going to take extra care at roundabouts from now on
C& we're picking up the Quinny today so will let you know what it's like. Am still not sure if I need to buy the Carrycot, might be useful in winter?
Hope things are ok, the SPD sounds horrible and you have so much on your plate already.
Wholelottalove sorry to hear about your work woes hope you're feeling ok this morning?
93pjb congratulations on a boy. We're one of the few not finding out though my SIL seems to think it's a girl while everyone else says boy!

GreenGeekGirl Sounds like you are loving your Bristol life, you're quite close to me now. Perhaps if we ever feel brave enough we can have a small meet up with a few others from this kind of area? The pushchair looks great, wish I had known about them. Are you planning on going to festivals next year? I was at Glastonbury this year and had planned to go again in 2011, specially as there isn't one in 2012, but now not so sure.
at the piece of glass.

WhatWillSantaBring I don't envy your work situation and I'm starting to feel grateful for my less than high-powered job! I've not been to NCT classes before but because this is our first I think it's quite important for my DH to be there, I don't think he's as prepared as he could be.
Waves to chooster Frankenfanny slightlytired Pjen Kittybump notso mumatron reshape Lavita OWO crazykat japh strix and anyone else I have missed.

Morning all - hope you are all ok today

Have had my OT assessment this morning, described as "noble" by OT when asked why I didn't claim DLA,mobility, blue badge etc and I stated there were far more deserving people out there that really need it and until I feel I have got to that point (which will probably mean giving up work) then I would rather those that really need it got it. Maybe I am just stupid and should claim it anyway.
Hopefully now they can crack on and assess the house for suitability and make us an offer of somewhere to live - i won't hold my breath about being in somewhere before Sept.

Didn't cycle in this am, very stiff and sore from yesterday so OT gave me a lift -will have to catch bus home! Will be back on it next week though! One of my DH friends has suggested I just need some onions hanging out the back for the truly French look

GGG Glad you move went ok and good luck with the nesting, glad you have found a good Freecycle - I am stuck between 2 at present - 1 here 1 at home - no transport to pick stuff up here or anywhere to store it, hopefully it will still be as active when family get down here as I love Freecycle!! My new colleagues at work are starting to learn to turn lights off if they are not in a room, now all I need to do is to get them to use less paper. It's the little things that make a difference I think!

93pjb - woohoo another boy - congratulations

WWSB, SlightlyTired, WholeLottaLove and 93PJB and anyone else suffering stress at work - has your work provided you with a space to go to relax? I will try and find the reference but i am sure it is part of the H&S stuff, supposed to provide a room for new and expectant mums for resting and BFing. My big stressor at work has been resolved today but only by calling in the big guns! I shouldn't have had to but glad I did now as it means I can get this project finalised and relax a bit.

I didn't do NCT classes last time only local NHS ones and i am unlikely to do any this time, DH did come with me last time but neither of us felt we learnt anything as we are both from a medical background anyway. Don't really want to do NCT as they appear quite clichey to me, I don't really do the whole groups of women social thing, never have done but that is probably because I work in a very male dominated environment. This internet forum is as close as I will get to girly chats so consider yourselves my NCT class!

C&G good that you don't have to go on Friday if you don't feel up to it. Good idea with the moses basket, DD1 was in a MB for first 6 months (didn't co-sleep)but went into her cot in the MB from 3 weeks. I know I have recommended this before but Baby Bliss by Dr Harvey Karp is a really good read and we found his techinques for settling DD really useful early on.

Those with "added extras" in your food - definately write and complain and copy your letter to local Trading Standards Authority as well as local Environmental Health Dept. both will have an interest and seeing that you have cpied them should prvoke a proper response from the compnay involved!

Big wave to everyone else - better go and do some real work - Oh look it's almost lunchtime!)

God! I am so happy to be pregnant Sometimes I want to shout it out in work

Even though at first I found the whole thing faintly embarrassing, the last couple of weeks I have really enjoyed being able to be the one walking about work with a big obvious bump. I never thought it would happen to me and I have a constant big grin on my face. When I wake up in the morning I feel so happy. Took such a long time to get here and now I am I am loving every bit :)

DF Enjoy your wonderful pregnancy - nice for us all to have positive vibes!

MrsS what a trendy trike!!! You go girl!!! Love it...
C&G I can?t wait to get my hands on a puffy cute snow suit too. I am holding my fingers, toes and whatever else cross for you for tomorrow. Thank to you a lot others, I did my bravissimo visit and got sized. They gave me a totally different size and am now trying their bras. Jury is still out there as I am feeling a bit trapped but really hope that my boobs stop growing for gods sake. I am tired of having sleazy drooling disgusting guys checking my boobs on the street and not going lower than boobs!!!
slightlyTired thanks for sharing the site... Am already working on it ;-)
GGG I am looking for ?proper? pregnancy yoga classes too. Where are you located? If you find any close to west London keep me posted! My gym does antenatal classes but only during working hours...
Other than that, I am getting some back pain from turning in my sleep on my back (I start falling asleep on side with a help of pillows but then turn when asleep). Not sure how to avoid this as I can?t control what I do in sleep. I put on pillows to not allow me to turn but they ended up on floor... One of the many joys of pregnancy.....

MrsS If you do feel worse you should think about going off sick, the baby will be enough to cope with and you don't want to leave yourself too drained for that imo. My father is disabled (paralysed from the neck down) and used to work as a policy andn equality officer for the council plus a few other things before that but basically he'd tell you to make a claim as you are one of the deserving that needs it. My dp is disabled at the moment too after a pulmonary embollism, 3 blood clots in his leg, lupus diagnosis and other things so he can't work. He's planning on changing career and doing a pgce (I think it's called that) hopefully next year and then go into primary teaching.

Honestly though, I think you should make a claim, advice is to think about your worst day and write that down as, like my father says, one day you wake up and are like that you cannot do what you are used to doing but by then it's too late. DLA claims take a long time.

93pjb thanks, have a drs appt in a couple of hours to have a chat with them too about getting a note in case I feel awful once I get there tomorrow and have to leave, apparently I'll need to get the judge's permission so a dr note will help greatly. I have visions of me fainting! Ooh a boy, contgrats :)

Whatwillsantabring We're the opposite, not got a girls name we love but had a boys hehe. I've done nct classes with my first but by the time they started I only got 2 as I had her at 36 weeks!

Dueling A carrycot sounds good, I'm thinking we'll get one for whichever pram we decide on, especially as it's going to be freezing.

Pjen I do love their bras and the way they fit, definitely worth trying a few different styles on though as you'll find one that fits the way you like. Plus if you get a fitting and then buy a bra you can take them back for months afterwards if you don't find the fit correct. So if you do get some from there, ask if the fitting from before counts towards that, if you see what I mean. If you need those classes during working hours you can actually attend the class if your midwife/gp says they are necessary, it's the law.

Ah, thats a lovely post DF! It really makes me realise we should all be so grateful and excited to be PG . So excited for you that you're so excited. Like you I found it all a bit embarassing at first but now its mega mega obvious. My bump really is massive. May try to post a pic soon... Am 24wks today though so I guess it should be kind of obvious. Another hurdle getting over the 'viability' milestone.

MrsSnaplegs - Sounds like you are doing a sterling job keeping going but maybe you should be a little more selfish soon? Good luck with the trike next week! Sounds / Looks fab! I think Hugh is a lovely name. DS1 had a really cute little friend called Hugh - so I have some lovely images of it .

Pjen - I bought a really gorgeous fleecy winter all in one suit for the baby last week. It is SO SO cute and I keep sneaking a little peak at it. Have picked up some lovely bits on the joules website too (thanks to whoever posted that). I think its harder to find erally gorgeous baby / toddler boys clothes but you get them! Its doesn't all have to be baby blue or with skulls on .

C&G - Good luck tomorrow - hope you are feeling better soon anyway, even if you do / dont go tomorrow. Fingers crossed it will go your way. What kind of outcome can you expect tomorrow? Is it an interim decision or a final one?

Here all is good... Feeling baby movements loads now and am going to book a 4d scan at some point (the cheapest I can get really) as I want to take DS1 along who has a really keen interest in the baby and I want to try to maintain that.

Work is bordering on crap... Just busy busy busy really with everyone wanting a piece of you and ridiculous deadlines. Its all becoming quite a 'macho' environment where people are really getting praised for doing ridiculous hours - 100 hours weeks being boasted about... Mmmm, I always remember my very vocal ex-boss (female) saying to some senior managers "if you're regularly doing that many hours then either a) you're not good at your job or b) the company should be employing someone in which case you're a mug for putting up with it". Hee hee... She refused to stay after 5pm in meetings, but then she was a Director of the company so could get away with it. But I do understand where she's comeing from... Anyway, I'm more mumbling away to myself here than saying anything you guys will be interested in .

I had a real "Awww" moment yesterday as I let my biggest boy (6) play out at the green at the bottom of our cul-de-sac yesterday afternoon with some of the bigger kids. I've always tried to distract him or found an excuse to be down there to keep an eye out, but I thought he was grown up enough now. He was so excited and came back saying he was part of the big boy gang and one of the boys who's 9 came back to play lego. He loved it and they were lovely with him and really included him... . Glad I've got my new baby coming or I'd feel a bit nostalgic at my eldest growing up so much!

chooster where did you buy the all in one fleece suite??? that will come very handy...

DF I am very happy too these days. A bit worried that baby is healthy at the end as I usually get burnt when I am happy (as if somebody up there is sitting and thinking, hmmm she looks too happy - let's send her some trouble). I am sure it is hormonal. I have never giggled this much in my life. I laugh loud when I am alone on smallest funny things! Is there a way to keep these hormones coming even after pregnancy? I am scientist and in drug development so I have started already looking to see what chemicals are known to be in preggies brain in 2nd trimester that cause happiness. Maybe we can find a drug against depression very little studies done in this area though. Maybe I should start my own study while on maternity leave? :)

C&G I didn't know that! What a great tip! Thank you! xox

WWSB, Wholelotta 93pjb and all others with busy jobs - have a look at this link esp Page 5

www.hse.gov.uk/pubns/indg373.pdf

Your employer should provide a rest area for you and extended rest periods when you are pg!

OMG! I just had the most horrible thing happen. Spent 20 minutes on my knees sorting some books out and when I stood up my feet has swollen up! I had Cankles! Have been lying on my back with my feet up in the air and all is well but this isn't good is it!?

OMG! I just made the dumbest most stupid pregnancy brain mistake of my life! I was in this very top level meeting as listener. One of the top level persons was giving my project a hard time questioning. Thank god we could defend our position and get the positive vote from committee to go ahead for the project. So I emailed to one of the other attendees (who is a good friend of me) saying that it was a close call. He replied back talking bad about that person. I put the person name on cc to check his title (you can do it at our work) and see what he is. I forgot to delete him from cc and responded back to my friend with the top level guy being on cc that I understand what he is saying and asked "who the hell is this guy anyway?". My friend wrote back saying "what are you thinking ccing him??" I recalled the message but if he has checks his blackberry he will still see it!!! I just may get fired and get another person also fired over pregnancy brain. I am still shaking from my mistake! It is dangerous to be loose and aloud to go to work or drive when pregnant!!!!!! I need a vacation!

pregnancy brain = see how many mistakes I make in a normal english sentence? I just can't function anymore!!!

You definitely should not be fired over that pjen - as long as your friend didn't say anything racist/homophobic/sexist etc then he shouldn't either. Comments made from a friend to a friend, even using work email, are not a sackable offence.

However, IME the best thing to do when you mess up is to fess up, take full responsiblity and explain how you have learnt your lesson. I would spk to the person in question and apologise if he inadvertently got sent an email that was not intended for him, hope that it didn't cause any distress, explain that the comments made were reactionary as a result of the stress of the project, and that you will be more careful how you use work email in the future. Definitely not something to be sacked over, and chances are, if your friend thought this about the chap, other people do too!

Great advice from whatwillsantabring - if you go on the front foot and tackle it head on it'll be over quicker and it shows your not afraid to own up to errors of judgement... Your must have just cringed though when you saw it in the cc box... I feel for you....

Oh dear Pjen

DF ever since last pg I get one fat ankle if it gets hot - not even a matching pair!

Good luck for tomorrow C&G

PJen I feel your pain I agree with WWSB tackle it head on and apologise in advance, it's not just you I have been slightly reactionary in emails today - hopefully I won't get slammed for it but it is easily done especially under pressure, pregnant or not.

I have done something I regret today but have to face up to it - invited my Mum down here for a couple of days next week we don't have a great relationship anymore - long story - but she has once again emotionally bullied me into her wishes and completely ignored my own. Oh well only 2 days and really only evenings as I will be at work. At least if I do this it may get her off my back for a while. I think I need to join the stately homes thread.

DF Swollen ankles can be normal in pregnancy so don't be overly concerned but do mention it next time you see MW.

Nothing good on telly again and for some reason ferries seem really close to my room tonight - room is actually vibrating with the noise

Hi everyone. Have had a fairly chilled out day, DH has been looking after DD most of the day so I've been able to rest, which I needed after horrible night last night obsessing over work. Pjen I sympathise with you and hope all gets resolved ok.

df lovely positive post (not the cankles one obv!) and chooster lovely about your son, that's so sweet.

My Mum came over today and asked in hurt tones why I'd hired a doula and not asked her to support me and that she'd quite like to be at the birth. Didn't really know what to say. We've never been massively close, although much better than we were, and I just couldn't imagine her there. DH would feel uncomfortable too I think. I wanted a doula to have someone who was specifically trained to support me and DH, but was still an independent/objective professional, if that makes sense. Basically, I see a doula doing what a midwife ought to do if they weren't so busy.

I think I basically screwed up big time as I decribed the role of the doula to 'mother the mother' once, and obviously my Mum, er, sees that as her role. Yikes - with hindsight possibly a tad insensitive. Maybe I can just have my Mum there too... I really think she might find it too much or freak out though seeing her daughter in pain. I'm happy for her to be there in early stages and with DD she was the only one who came to visit in hospital as we weren't there long after DD born.