18 and pregnant

[eryn2001]

I'm 18 and just found out I'm pregnant with my first child. I have absolutely no idea how to tell my family out of fear they will think I'm a disgrace.
I am still with the father who is 20 and my boyfriend of about two years. He is aware of the pregnancy and although we were both shocked, we've agreed that keeping the baby is the best thing for us.
Any suggestions of how to break the news to my family?

mumsince2018,
Knowing that you were in a similar situation and it worked out means so much, I am really happy everything worked out for you. I hope to go down a very similar path

I'm sure it will, the only reason they would be unhappy is because

1. They love you and just will worry about you.
2. It's their religion.

It's nothing personal. At the end of the day they need to know that no matter what they're opinion is that your in a stable and happy relationship with people who will support you. You will be okay no matter what the outcome. I'm currently pregnant again with my 2nd, and we still haven't told my family and partners family. I find it just as nerve racking the second time around haha!

Congratulations. I agree with PP not to be apologetic but I would try and show you're handling this with maturity and you're not taking the decision lightly or going into this blind. I'd really take a strong lead in the conversation and start by acknowledging everything that they'll be thinking... "mum and dad, I am pregnant. I've decided to keep the baby. Yes it was unplanned and i wouldn't have chosen this path for a few years yet, ideally, BUT here we are." I would put across that you have a plan (make a plan) and you'll be still able to have a future once baby arrives. I'd have answers to everything prepared and be ready to head off any criticism at the pass.

Remember that they'll be shell shocked at first, might fly off the handle or give you the silent treatment to begin with and need some time to come round to the idea.

Good luck !

Hiya, I'm 20 and I'm currently pregnant whilst at university. I am due in July and will be taking a gap year out. Just know that university's are SO supportive. You will get the maximum maintenance loan as you will classed an independent student because you have a child so you will only have to put yours and your boyfriends income in, you also get a parents in education allowance (I think it's like an extra 1600 a year) and you get 85% of your childcare fees paid through a childcare grant. Hopefully this will answer the 'how will you ever get a career, go to uni' etc wishing you all the best, you will still be able to do anything you had your mind set on, just a slight delay!❤️

Congratulations OP.

I've got to say though, I've got two 18 year olds and I would be shocked and upset to begin with if one of them told me they were pregnant. But I'm sure I'd soon come round and support them, and I hope your parents do too. Like someone else said we worry and love our DDs and just want the best for them. And we do still see you as very young at 18, even though you're adults

However, the fact that you're in a long term relationship with someone you obv love and you sound very mature, I'm sure everything will work out fine, best of luck

Thank you eryn, I should probably have expanded! My eldest is now 15. It was a given that I would move out, as an adult and a mother (to be), it was never in question. If I'd have stayed at home with my parents, I'd have still been in 'child' mode. My parents were strict, once they knew I was willing to live independently and also secure my future, then they were much more comfortable being new grandparents.

Congratulation OP.

I think if my 18 year old daughter told me she was pregnant one of my thought processes would be to ensure she continues her studies or the plan she had for her career. It is so easy for woman to put aside their plans and just focus on their children, but they dont stay children for long and you want to ensure that you have the best life as well.

I hope your parents are very happy for you.

I hope your parents are supportive grandparents and that you are able to continue with your plans for uni. Having a child at 18 is not the end of the world. Congratulations

It worked for me, they absolutely adore him and wouldn't change him for the world, yeah act like it's kind of like a big christmas present, or you could try get a picture frame or bauble for the tree or something saying they're getting promoted, I think the main thing is just to be mature about things and expect the worst but hope for the best. Congratulations and best of luck with everything x

Hiya hun, I'm in the exact same position, it was scary telling my mum but it was something you just have to get over with. I went through all the options and eventually just blurted it out.

She was shocked but is now super supportive, excited !!

Good luck x

Understand that your parents will need some time to come around. Think back on the initial feelings you felt when you found out. If it took you time to grasp your head around it more likely than not it'll take your family time too.
You have the support of your bf mom which is amazing but just a suggestion I wouldn't tell your mother that she knows first (could lead to more upset initial feelings)
If you're looking for more advice from someone in the position on YouTube KBandBaby is a pretty religious family who's first daughter was born when they were 19.