No one wants me to have another baby

[jenfromtheblock11]

I have two lovely children and adore being a Mum. It came up in conversation at a family party recently that my husband and I would like more children and we were met with lots of hostilities. My parents literally begged me not to and my brother told me he would never see me again if I had another one. They said it wasn't fair on my other children, that two was enough, don't I remember sleepless nights etc. etc. They really went to town on me. The next day I told my Mum how upset it made me and she very firmly stood by her opinion and told me that no one would be supporting me if we went on to have more children. I find this really strange and hurtful. My parents are great with my two children and dote over them but I ask very little help from them or anyone else so it's not as if our decision impacts them. I even had my second at home with my eldest one present so no one had to look after my first born. I thought new life and babies were suppose to bring families together. Now I fear no one will love my next baby if we have another one. Anyone else had a similar reaction?

This is so sad to read OP especially when you give all the circumstances around it not involving any more input from them.

Both of my parents are only children from the countryside and they always say to me if you can (and want to) have 2 or more because their childhoods were great but could have been so much more fun with a sibling to share it with!

My mother wasn’t keen on the idea of me having a 3rd but she loves him now. When I found I was expecting number 4 , I frankly said I do not want any negative comments and if she didn’t have anything nice to say, do not bother saying them. I know she is t thrilled but that’s ok. I don’t ask for childcare either.

Are you very young?
Are your children very young or very close together?
Did you complain a lot about being tired when they were little?
Do you rent rather than own?
Do they want you to go back to work?

Just trying to unpick possible reasons.

I can't help thinking there is a big thing you are not telling us, otherwise your family woukd not gave any strong feelings one way or the other

I have two children and my family always had the same sort of opinion on us having a third as yours have but we never planned on having another baby.

We have recently found out I was pregnant with our 'surprise' third baby and I was dreading telling my family as I knew how they felt about it but I was shocked, totally shocked! They all seemed happy and excited. There was no need for them to be negative as it wouldn't change anything. The third baby was happening whether or not they thought it was a good idea or not!

Please don't let your family put you off having another baby if you do want to! Once the baby is here they'll love them just as much as your other children!

They were unnecessarily mean. Courses for horses and all that.
We definitely got a different reaction when we announced our 3rd. Fil was quite vocal about didn't we know how much kids costs in terms of money, time, energy etc. Which was a useful point as we really hadn't considered that what with only having 2 dds already. But he's generally an arse, and adores bils single dc family.
If we'd asked up front, I'm sure we'd have got a slightly negative reaction - hopefully not as extreme as yours.
Dd3 is In fact awesome so yah sucks boo!

It is nobody's business but yours

I'm not really sure I understand you @jenfromtheblock11

This is only your second post on Mumsnet, but in your other one you only have one child, aged 2, and your husband has refused to have any more children.

Which is it?

It's your decison and your DPs not your family's They are being ridiculous. If you have another and your family don't acknowledge them that is their loss. My DC had a 3rd child and although I thought it was unwise I kept my view to myself because really it wasn't my business. Also that child is an an absolute delight and loved just as much as the others. I can't imagine any family rejecting a child just because they didn't think that child should exist it's not the child's fault and it's terrible to make it suffer.

In your other thread you say the first six months were not happy OP, so perhaps your family are thinking about that - or the fact that they knew your husband was dead against a second baby years ago? Is your eldest 7 now?

I strongly suspect brother is jealous of the attention that you and your kids get.
I also think your family are projecting that they wouldnt be able to manage your life with 3. But sounds like you do a great job.
I would've been devastated by that reaction. If its what you want, go for it. You are not being unreasonable at all.

That seems like a very strong reaction, but I do remember your previous thread - if your family think you would be really unhappy again and your marriage could breakdown could their reaction be a concern for you?

That seems such a long time ago now. My husband worked away for a bit and came home and said lets do it. 9mths later we had baby no 2 who's now 3. Having more than one was way better than just one, especially as no 2 slept! lol Our second def made our family, and our marriage tbh. My husband ironically is the driving force behind no 3 which seems funny as he was dead against any more after one. All that was private between my and DH though so non related to my family's strange reaction.