Parents will be disappointed I'm pregnant again

[ty1996]

Hi, im 11 weeks pregnant and really worried about telling my parents and grandparents. I know they want me to finish college and get uni done, and I already have a 1 year old who they help me with whilst I'm in college. Anyway the other day we all went out for dinner and I was about to tell them, when they all started saying 'don't you be having another baby until you've got a good career behind you' 'I'm too old to be looking after another' (I wouldn't expect them to look after it) and 'we won't be helping you with this one' and it kind of made me realise they don't want me to have another yet. I'm 22. Now I'm more scared than ever about telling them because I know they won't be happy about it and they will be disappointed. However they all had children when they were 16,18,21, so they can't say I'm too young for two. I guess I'm basically asking for advice on how to tell them.

Haha Mamajune, this would be the plan of somebody who is thoughtful and considerate of others

@Prettyvase yes, my heads are mostly up in the clouds trying to see the best in people

Wow people really kissed the point of the OP didn't they!!

She didn't moan about her parents or suggest didn't understand what they were saying. She was just explaining what they had said to clarify why she was struggling to tell them about this pregnancy.

Get off your high horses! Jeez!

Best of luck to you OP. Congratulations on the new pregnancy

Missed the point! Not kissed.. 🙄

My fiancé and I have a DD of almost 2. We planned to wait another 2 years before baby number 2 but to our surprise we've recently found out baby number 2 is due in June next year. I worried what my mam would say especially as I experienced pretty bad post natal depression and felt as though we were going to be told we must be stupid.
My best friend and fiancé got together and physically put me in the car and took me to my parents to tell them. My partner just handed the pregnancy test to my mam, her face was blank, she looked up at me and said 'how do you feel about it?' I replied 'over the moon' to which she grabbed me into a mammy hug and told us how excited and over the moon she was. She told me she didn't react straight away as she was afraid I wasn't happy and didn't want me to feel guilty if she was over the moon for us but we weren't happy about it.
Moral of the story is...you may be expecting the worst when actually they'll be really happy for you
Good luck and congratulations

What is with people on here - surely it’s about being supportive! We’re talking about a life - congratulations! I think you will be just fine, it’s no ones business if you decide to have a baby - ur not a drug addict, your child isn’t in care! We’re here to procreate! More life! I’m on my fourth! Chin chin

Just for all the people who doubted,
Said I had an immature attitude, and said I was putting on my family.

I am now a full time university student who has completed and passed her first year. I split with my partner before the birth. I have now purchased my first home, both children are in childcare with the occasional day with my parents, which they love and ask for them for the days in a week.

Reading over the comments now I still believe you were very judgemental and not supportive. I never asked people to have them whilst I was in university.

I am doing amazing for myself. And I'm proud.

Just read this entire thread, well done OP you have done amazingly. So glad you came back to update. Lovely outcome. I bet your children are a credit to you. Xxx

Yes! What an amazing ending, glad you ignored those haters. Congratulations x

@ty1996

Some people on here are so judgemental.I wasn't asking for judgement, I was asking for help in how to tell them. They adore having my DD now, even if I don't see them for one day they ring up and constantly ask me to take her around and drop her off so they can see her. I won't be in education anymore once this baby comes, and I will be taking a gap year from university.

Yes they are OP!! Congratulations on your baba. Whatever they feel or say at first, as the pregnancy progresses or when the baby is born that will all fade away and they will be as much in love with no.2 as they were no.1, you can't plan life to the letter and this is the way your life is going. I don't know how on earth people on here can say you've done the wrong thing, do they expect you to abort it just because you haven't been to uni yet?! Vile people imo

Should read whole thread before posting 😂😂
Well done well don well done x

@ty1996 was so glad to see you posted at the end with an update. The comments were shocking. I was in a very similar situation to you a few years back. Fell pregnant aged 19, had not been with partner long and was sitting exams at the time for college. Had baby, started university and when DC1 was 18 months and in my second year of uni, I found out I was expecting again. Family were really not happy.

Anyway, had DC2, continued with uni and graduated all whilst working and caring for very young children. Not bad for an immature 22 year old whose family were also looking after DC1 whilst I studied.

Fast forward 10 years, qualified, have a well paid job, have our own home and we are now expecting our third child in a few weeks time

Well done for what you are doing, been there and got the T-shirt and can honestly say it was one of the most tiring and hardest things I’ve ever done but it’s worth every single second when you see how proud your children are of you.

Wish you all the best for your studies and future. Carry on proving the haters wrong, you’re right to be very proud of yourself.

My parents are like this with my sister. Saying oh u better not have any more children we couldn't help you with any more.. . But every time she tried to put her 2 kids in child care my parents would kick up a huge fuss saying oh you can't put them in child care, they should be with family, you should be at home, oh you should be working... blah blah blah. Bloody nightmare they are. It's a crappy thing for them to say something like that.

I would make a plan of action and when you tell your parents start with being positive.. Saying I'm pregnant we are delighted and here is my plan. Thank you for all the support with ( insert name).

By the sounds of it you are damned if you do and damned if you don't. ( as in if you waited a few years you would prob get the whole.... Oh such a gap between the children unfair... blah blah)

It's amazing you are studying and being a parent as well as your partner.

Don't listen to judgemental ppl on here.

Haha sorry should have read to the end. Amazing well done you it's a fantastic thing you achieved! Delighted for you

Op, as nice as it was of your parents to offer to mind did for you while you go to college,it is done out of necessity. You are still very young and you are still their child, they are going to do all they can to help you,this could mean breaking their backs so that you can provide a good life to their grandchildren but don't mistake it for something they would be choosing to do at this stage of their lives.
The time to have all close age gaps between your children,if that's what you prefer,is when you are financially independent and able to provide for them so maybe that might be 5 to 10 years away for you. I think you know your parents are going to offer to take you second child for one or two days a week and possibly more when things crop up and I think it's selfish of you to not consider them and all they are doing for you. Please don't say they made you go to college,it is because of them that you may make something of yourself and provide the best fit your children,don't mistake this as their choice,they will be guilted into helping you because they will not want their grandchildren to suffer

well done OP, just read all this thread! You've done amazing for yourself and wow mumsnet can be so FOS!!

Some of these post ‘Just WOW!!’ I feel for you OP I really do, you shouldn’t have to be worried about telling them. This is your baby and in my opinion having a baby that is wanted and loved is never a bad thing regardless of the timing, everything happens for a reason. Just tell them and leave, to let them process it alone. If they really felt looking after your other child was such a burden, it’s their decision, they don’t have to do it. My mother puts on a fake smile whenever she’s told we ( or my siblings) are expecting, so I always know she’s not a ‘joyful grandmother’ ( even though she adores them when they’re born) I’m ttc no 3 , she doesn’t look after my DD or DS, I’m financially independent, and have my career but still it’s disappointing when family respond to such a happy occasion the way urs have. Just organise yourself as much as you can and enjoy your pregnancy. Careers can come and go, you’ll always love your babies.