Our baby

[Bubba1357]

Hi all. I’m in a dilemma. I have a photo of our expected Little one at 12 weeks from our 12 week scan. My husband is really happy for me but really wants a boy as it’s our first. (Must be a male thing) can anyone help to distinguish what we might be having before our 20 week scan due soon x.

Cannot add photo yet.

If a baby in general doesn't make him happy why does he even want to be a father!

Is he Henry VIII ?

If he has a preference for one sex then I would not find out the sex at either scan but wait till the baby is born. He is unlikely to be disappointed when he meets his real life baby girl. Unless he is a total dick.

Does he generally think of women as not quite ‘as good’ as men? That’s very sad then.

Remind me which century we're in!

Everybody's point about his attitude is correct, but if you don't want his horrible childishness to spoil the 20 week scan, you do have the option of paying approx. 500 pounds privately on the NIPT (Harmony) test.

It's a blood test that takes about a week to come back and will test for chromosomal abnormalities and tell you boy/girl as a bonus.

You can have it any time after 10 weeks. Just google to find a private clinic near you that will do it.

www.arc-uk.org/tests-explained/non-invasive-prenatal-testing-nipt

Tell him he's being pathetic. He should be happy and excited by this, not just for you but for both of you. A new chapter in your life you'll experience.
Does he know that it's actually his sperm that determines the sex of the baby, so either way it's him that's provided that outcome.
This does sound very outdated. Is it the 'man' thing? Like he wants to do 'boys things' with his son? You cannot predict what your child will grow up to be.
Has he actually said he wants a boy first?

Remind him that the father determines the baby's sex, not the mother

Hello all. I just spoke to him. A few minutes after he arrived home from work I made us a cup of tea and started to talk to him about the whole situation, how I felt in particular and about us not me etc. He listened like a hawk to what I had to say and he feels that it will be a joyous gift no matter what. He didn't fully understand what he was saying and the effect it had on me. He apologised and I feel I will keep an eye on him but will not have this in he future. Thanks ladies. Xx

you feel you have to 'keep an eye on him' why? He needs to grow up and you need to stop treating him like a baby.

This thread is a bit ridiculous. It's not a "male thing" to be "disappointed" by a girl. So many people have issues getting this far or go to a 20 week scan to discover serious issues, so having a healthy girl on your 20 week scan is not a "dilemma".

It wasn’t until I had DD1 that I realised fully that you don’t have ‘a boy’ or ‘a girl’, you have that unique individual. So finding out what you are having is almost meaningless as it tells you so very little about your baby.

I guess that people make so much about whether you have a boy or girl because even once they’re born, you still don’t know much about them, so there isn’t much to say.

Hi a ring of roses as I said before that was a bad choice of words. I only posted to seek some motherly/womanly advise. Not to be criticised by my choice of words. I didn't mean to upset or offend anyone by this post. Once again thank you for your support and advice on my situation.

@Bubba1357 I understand, but as someone who left a 20 week scan with devastating news, the idea that being told you are having a healthy girl is a dilemma, is totally absurd to me. I'm sure many others in similar situations reading the thread feel the same way.

However I wish you the best & hope your husband realises how lucky he is to have either when the time comes to find out. I do hope his attitude isn't detracting from this special & exciting time for you.

@RingARingOfRosies

I know I know. I understand it's a gift of life and we're very lucky Indeed to even be blessed to have a baby.

thank you x

I have to say I think its being a bit harsh - gender bias/disappointment is a real thing (there are plenty of threads on here when the mother has expressed fear/disappointment about finding out they are having a particular gender). Another forum I frequent even has a topic area dedicated to talking about it.

Mostly it relates to either one of two things:

1. Having an image since you were younger of what your child would be like and this is often the same gender as its what you identify with

2. Being scared of parenting one gender or another: this can go either way and can either relate to their own parenting or the fact that they feel they cannot identify as well with one gender

He may also for example be an older brother and want to have that role model in his life

@Quartz2208 I think the issue lies more within the emotive language used rather than the preference for a boy expressed.

I got the impression that was from the OP rather than the husband though rather than him

@Fekko 😂😂😂

He needs to be happy either way or shouldn't of tried to have one to start with!! Not men think my partners always said he doesn't mind long healthy we have 16month boy and 5weeks now!

Did the 20 week scan reveal boy or girl out of curiosity?

Hello mums of Mumsnet. It was a BOY. we're so both really chuffed to bits. Thank some of you for your advice. X