My son died 2 weeks ago, 7wks old

[AbiAbi]

Hi;

I am not sure what I am hoping to get out of this, or what I want to hear; I just need to know that someone else has gone through it, and that it might possible get better?

My son, Archie, died on the 22nd December at 10.04am, after having been in PICU for 6 days. He was 7 weeks and 6days old.

He had NEVER, ever been ill before the 16th December; I was one of the smug women who breastfed like a dream and looked down their noses at the FF mums on AIBU .

He vomited on the 16th and then became unreponsive and was diagnosed with a malrotated bowel. They operated but eventully turned off his machines on the 22nd.

Will it ever get better? Has this happened to you? Will a new baby help? Its just so painful.

xxx

Hi Abi, I just wanted to say I will be thinking of you tomorrow, I am so sorry for your loss. There is nothing I can say to help, but I wanted you to know you are in my thoughts xxx

It's Archie's funeral isn't it?

Thinking of you. x

Hi all;

Just to let everyone who had wondered that todays service went really well; well as well that could be hoped for..... it was beautiful, short and sweet - and now my baby is free, and I will see him one day again. As my DP said "Sleep well Archie - see you in the morning"

Abs

xx

Bless him.

xxx

Glad it went well Abi.

XX

Sorry, my first post was brief.

I am so glad it was a beautiful service. Thoughts with you and your family.x

My condolences on your loss, and to everyone here that has lost a child. Glad Archie's service went well. Your posts are full of grace. He was very lucky to have such a lovely mum x

Just read this through from the start. It made me cry and then the poems made me cry all over again! Oh dear....

My heart goes out to you AbiAbi and to your family and to dear little Archie Star shining down on you from heaven. I'm glad you feel at peace now. Hold on to that. He is free.

Love and Hugs. X X X

I'm so terribly sorry to hear you lost your baby. I really don't have anything helpful to say other than look after yourself (and your partner and child). x

so very sorry for your loss

Just wanted to send my thoughts. Our little boy died at 18 weeks. Be kind to yourself. Xxx

Dear Abi, I'm so, so sorry to hear of your loss. Could hardly bear to read this thread as I also have an Archie (and my name is the same as yours). Can't begin to imagine how you must be feeling but you sound so brave. I'm glad you've found some comfort on this thread.

Dear Abbie, I am so so sorry for little Archie. Not only are you dealing with your grief, but you have a little one and a bereaved man too. Bless you all, life is so unfair and cruel. Please get the help you need, and hope DP gets some help too (I find that in some ways its harder for bereaved men as they dont reach out).

Dear AbiAbi have just seen this thread and wanted to add my condolences.

Archie sounds like he was totally adorable. I hope that you and your family are finding the help and comfort that you need.

Much love to you all xx

I'm so sorry for you AbiAbi - I hope you find the strength you need to live with this. Life can be so very unfair.

AbiAbi - I've just seen this thread and wanted to say to you how sorry I am that you have had to go through something which no parent ever should. I don't think there is any pain greater than losing a child. Archie's death is utterly devastating and I imagine it feels as though you'll never recover. My own experience of loss has shown me that while the pain never goes away completely, you find a way of living with it.

A few years ago I decided to retrain as a psychotherapist and in one of my placements worked with a mother who had also lost a much loved and much wanted child at 7 weeks. No-one can take away your pain but I know from my work with her, that being able to share the pain and anguish with someone provided her with support at a time when it felt as if her world had collapsed around her. I saw from one of your posts that you have been offered counselling and I hope that you do take up the offer and that it provides some help. I know my client also got help from SANDS and I saw that you were attending their meetings so I hope this also helps.

My client's son would always be a part of her life and there would always be a gap in the family where he should have been, but she went on to have another child and - to answer your question - life did get better. Losing a child changes you and you no longer exist in the state of relatively blissful ignorance that most parents live in, unaware of just how devastating a loss the death of a child is, but life continues and it is possible to be happy again.

You have my deepest sympathy.

I am so sorry to hear about this, and of course for all the expectant mums on here it is suddenly something that is no longer just happening to someone else, but (selfishly) something that you fear yourself regarding your own child.
I'm sorry you're having to go through this and I know you'll remember your little treasure forever. It's too early to say or think this perhaps, but I hope one day you will try again and have a much happier experience.
It's good to see so many people reaching out to try and give you some comfort at a time like this, too.
Be strong and know we're all thinking of you, even though we've never met. All the best hun.

Hi ladies, thank you all again so much for your continued support and messages, it really does mean a lot, and I continue to be blown away by everyones kindness. I have learned so much from this experience, and am starting to feel luckier as each day goes by, as at least I had 7 weeks of pure bliss with my little guy.

I'm back at work for the first time today, so really am starting to get back to "normality" albeit with lots of tears, obviously .

We are going to counselling on the 24th and then have decided to try for another baby, so hopefully will be on here with some good news soon.

Thanks again.

Abs

xx

I hope your day at work goes OK. Do be gentle with yourself, though x

Thanks hun, I work for the family business, in a teeny office (only 4 of us) so I'm very lucky in that respect, if I need a day off or whatever its not a problem... and they dont expect me to do any actual work for a while!

Dear AbiAbi
I am so sorry. i am thinking about you and sending you love and hugs across the ether.
i am so so sorry.