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Original poster

my lovely mum died suddenly yesterday.....

84 replies

chimchar · 08/07/2009 18:48

...and i just can't deal with it...i'm numb..she had been unwell over the weekend. dad called the gp yesterday afternoon and 2 hours later, she was gone. i didn't get to say goodbye....

i hurt all over. i don't have brothers or sisters, so its just me and my dad. my mum was my best friend...i don't want to be without her....she was only 64. she was the most adoring grandma to my kids...

i just can't cope with this....its so wrong..

please help me...

OP posts:
JesuslovesCatholicSchools · 08/07/2009 20:10

i lost my mum - she was around that age. The shock was so very incredible - physical - i shook - literally when i had to discuss funeral - or her estate or anything.

i too am an only child - its such a burden.

i know exactly how you are feeling. i am so, so very sorry for your loss

foreverchanges · 08/07/2009 21:03

so sorry for your loss , lost my dad last year and dread losing my mum as im an only child with no relatives
so sorry cant imagine how you feel
thinking of you x

imaynotbeperfectbutimokmummy · 08/07/2009 21:29

just wanted to offer you my thoughts and sympathy. How awful for you

The other posters are right, you dont have to hold it together, but you will, you just do.

The funeral will be your chance to say goodbye. Did your mum have any brothers and sisters who can help you with the funeral arrangements. Do you have a DP/DH?

I hope you can at least get some peace after the PM results.

Take things one day at a time, once you have your head around the PM, then deal with the other practicalities. Don't try and do too much at once.

So very sorry for your loss

SalVolatile · 08/07/2009 22:24

You poor love - I lost my darling mum just 5 weeks ago and am not great at all but I will help all I can.....it is an unimaginable loss and the pain is terrible, but you will get through the next few weeks because you have to: please keep posting so we can be here for you

MrsMcCluskey · 08/07/2009 22:28

So sorry Chimchar
I cannot imagine the pain you musst be feeling.

missworried · 08/07/2009 22:28

so sorry for you. x x x

missworried · 08/07/2009 22:29

so sorry for you. x x x

Biglips · 08/07/2009 22:37

im so sorry to hear

pushkar · 08/07/2009 22:40

i know how you feel by clever father died last week

aristocat · 08/07/2009 22:46

so sorry for your loss

hope you have a good friend/partner who you can rely on x.

Original poster
chimchar · 09/07/2009 09:22

thanks so much everyone...i'm sorry that so many of you have been where i am.

i have a lovely husband who is doing all he can...i feel protected by him which is good as i'm feeling so vunerable.... i don't want to see anyone. i'm avoiding phonecalls...i feel like i'm hiding away and i don't like it, but can't face talking to people.

i slept for hours and hours last night...i couldn't stay awake. i've been sick this morning...i've not eaten since tuesday lunchtime. i just can't face it...am trying to drink a milky hot chocolate now to at least line my stomach.

i just hurt so very very much.

it helps to know that you are there...thanks again. x

OP posts:
aristocat · 09/07/2009 11:12

chimchar
there are many of us who have lost parents and if you need to talk MN will listen.

i am glad you have a lovely DH - let him support you and wipe away your tears - they are good at this.

x

VinegarTits · 09/07/2009 11:23

Oh my goodness you poor thing, i can't imagine what you must be going through, so sorry for your loss, be kind to yourself and take little steps to get though the next few weeks

bubblagirl · 09/07/2009 11:26

my thoughts are with you and your family at this sad time

Ripeberry · 09/07/2009 11:30

So sorry for your loss, but if you feel like you need to cry and you can't at home, then if you can and its safe, go for a drive somewhere quiet, park up and have a great big scream! I've always found that helpful.
You need to let the pain out before moving forward.
My mum is in hospital and also has lung disease, very lingering slow way to go, she has dementia and does not know really what's going on, just wants her ciggies. I feel sorry for my dad as his health has been ruined by her habit as well

Sunshinemummy · 09/07/2009 11:32

So sorry for your loss.

GIvePeasAChance · 09/07/2009 11:40

Chimchar, so very sorry for your horrific loss. I am in bed at the moment crying and don't want to see anyone. My dad is dying as we speak and I have just come back from seeing him. Like you, I can only think that bed and no-one talking to me is the best place to be. I am having a warning for this and it is horrendous enough, you have had none and so can only imagine you are completely floored. Death is cruel and heartless and I hate it.

I hope you can get some peace in the next few days x

Poledra · 09/07/2009 11:45

Chimchar, I'm so sorry for you and your father. Try to look after each other.

KIMItheThreadSlayer · 09/07/2009 14:22

So glad your lovely DH is there for you, how is your dad holding up?

Thinking of you

MamaG · 09/07/2009 14:37

I'm so sorry chimchar

brightongirldownunder · 09/07/2009 14:47

I'm so sorry Chimchar. Can't imagine how you're feeling.
Sending you lots of love. She sounds like she was a wonderful lady.

janestillhere · 09/07/2009 14:51

This next few months is going to be a rollercoaster of emotions for you.

Be really kind to yourself. Remember to eat and try to sleep.

Cry when you want, talk about everything you need to.

I am still in shock I think about the loss of my best friend - my mum, just over a year ago.

Though mine had been ill for along time, so had some time to prepare somewhat.

I really feel for you at this terrible time.

Love to you and yours xxxxxxxxx jane

OrmIrian · 09/07/2009 14:57

Oh I'm so sorry chimchar. What a horrible thing to happen.

QOD · 09/07/2009 14:58

I am so sorry
(((((hugs)))))

LilRedWG · 09/07/2009 17:41

chimchar, I am so very sorry for your loss of your Mum.

Losing your Mum hurts like hell. What is important is that you do what you need to - do not try to be brave and hold it all together (believe me, it makes it all worse). Cry as and when you need to. The tears may not come for days, weeks, months or years, but when they do, you need to let them out.

Much love to you and your family. x

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