Tiamummy
I am so sorry for your loss. It is the hardest thing to lose a child. You never imagine it could happen to you. You hope it doesn't happen to others but you are aware it does. When it does happen you feel like the world has stopped turning. People carry on with their lives and mundane things still happen and all you want to do is shout "STOP do you not know my baby has died".
I can say from my limited experience it does not get easier but you get better at coping. The things we expect such as anniversaries particularly the firts, are hard.
It is the unexpected that knock you though and this we can not control. I lost one of my identical twin boys and I recently completely lost it after an aquaintance had twins. Lots of people have twins, I chat to people on here with twins but hearing that news almost took my breath away.
You may not feel like it now but you will cope and each day you will move forward, you will never forget Tia and the memory of her lovely smile will stay in your heart forever. That little grip of her finger will squeeze forever. She is still with you but is not physically here. Her little life was a happy one full of love, and you should cherish this memory.
I am so sorry and do not know if this will help or not but I am sending you much love and compassion.
Please take care of yourself and don't worry, whatever you are feeling is normal. The only thing is my HV did offer me some advice about grieving
When parents lose a child it is like getting two people who are ill and expecting them to look after each other. It is very difficult and you do have to look after yourself and each other.
I'm sorry I am rambling take care love CM xxx
and said and remember