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Bereavement

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Original poster

DH died suddenly-need support and prayers please

653 replies

Evenstar · 29/06/2008 06:16

My DH passed away suddenly on Thursday 26 June, there has to be a post mortem and I cannot bring him home until the coroner releases his body. I am struggling to realise that he is gone, as I have been unable to go and see him owing to distance from home and mortuary being closed at weekend. Mum and brother are here, am getting amazing support from them, my 3 children and so many friends. I am finding it hard at night and getting up very early not wanting to wake others but feel need to chat.

OP posts:
Original poster
Evenstar · 29/06/2008 23:46

It is indeed a comfort to know that their father will be a constant loving presence for the rest of their lives, they will never forget him.

OP posts:
Spidermama · 29/06/2008 23:47

Yes I can see why the nights would be hard. I guess you need to wait until you're so knackered you'll drop off without too much lying awake thinking.

Gosh evensong. What a journey you're embarking on.

Spidermama · 29/06/2008 23:50

Evenstar, your aunt sounds like a good person to have around at the moment. She will be a great help to you.

triplets · 29/06/2008 23:52

Oh Evenstar...............feels so very sad for you, life is so very cruel at times . My lovely son died in 94, he was 14, died in my garden, no medical explanation. You just feel as though your whole world as you know it has completely fallen apart, the pain is terrible, I never ever thought that it was pssible to cry for so long. Then 4 years after Matthew died I gave birth to our triplets, they are now 10. Life was just getting good when my DH was dignosed with cancer in April, bowel/liver, so we struggle again. Sorry to say all this, its just reading about something so awful as your lovely husbands sudden death brings back everything to me. You survive, but life is different, but it is nice to smile again, that day will come, it will take time, but it will happen and thats what you Dh would want. Bless you xxxx

Spidermama · 29/06/2008 23:56

Triplets. Evenstar. I want to say 'God Bless you' but it sounds feeble and cliched.

I hope and pray you find peace sometime and strength through the really painful bits.

Life's about the pain as well as the joy and sometimes I think you have to feel one in order to be able to feel the other.

LaDiDaDi · 29/06/2008 23:58

So sorry to hear of your loss .

Original poster
Evenstar · 30/06/2008 00:02

I have likened what has happened to us as being like shaking a kaleidoscope the ordered pattern of our lives has disappeared and I am trying to have faith that we can form a new pattern as a family of 4 and that life will indeed be good again one day. The shock is still the worst thing for all of us I think, yesterday was very hard for us as my db had to bring dh's car home from where he died and seeing it on the drive is very difficult.

OP posts:
cornsilk · 30/06/2008 00:11

I will be thinking of you evenstar.

Original poster
Evenstar · 30/06/2008 00:13

I am going to bed now to try and sleep as there is so much to do tomorrow. I hope I can stay in bed past 5am tonight as I am very tired.

OP posts:
Yorkiegirl · 30/06/2008 00:17

Message withdrawn

zazen · 30/06/2008 00:19

Good night Evenstar and I'm so very sorry for your trouble.

I hope you can find some peace, my thoughts are with you and your family.

Beauregard · 30/06/2008 00:20

So sorry Evenstar
Hope you are able to at least rest
xxx

misspollysdolly · 30/06/2008 00:37

So sorry for your loss.

muffinmum · 30/06/2008 00:43

Evenstar i hope you manage to get some rest tonight, thinking of you and your family at such a sad time

thumbwitch · 30/06/2008 00:53

Hope you manage to get some sleep Evenstar - you could perhaps try having some music/ radio/ talking book on in the background to distract your brain if it is buzzing too much.
hugs to you and your family at this sad time

Mummy2TandF · 30/06/2008 02:19

Evenstar - I have just seen this thread and I send love and support to you and your children. I lost my DH suddenly aged 36 just 10 months agao, so I completely understand the numbness and shock you must be feeling. I am glad to hear that you have a good supprt network in RL but PLEASE if you would like to talk at all, please feel free to CAT me - I am also awake at silly o'clock most nights xxx Also you may find this site a great support, I know that I and many others have, you are all in my thoughts

slim22 · 30/06/2008 02:47

Mummy2TandF, I was thinking about you when I saw this post

Sending you all much love.

solodad · 30/06/2008 08:13

Evenstar, this may also be useful here

shrinkingsagpuss · 30/06/2008 08:23

Evenstar, so sorry to hear of your dreadful loss. I hope one day you can find some comfort in knowing he didn't suffer, but right now, that is probably the main thing that is actually increasing your suffering so much.
I hope you have got see him, or will do soon,
Wishing all love to you and your DC's.

lottiejenkins · 30/06/2008 09:06

Evanstar i read what you said about the children... have you heard of Winstons Wish? when my dh died when my ds was 5 they helped me a great deal.
www.winstonswish.org.uk/

Ledodgy · 30/06/2008 09:17

I've just seent his Evenstar. I'm so very sorry for your loss. Thinking of you and your children.

TigerFeet · 30/06/2008 09:26

Evenstar I'm so very sorry

Thinking of you all

flowerybeanbag · 30/06/2008 09:30

Evenstar so sorry to hear your sad news. Thinking of you.

wasabipeanut · 30/06/2008 09:31

Evenstar I have only just seen this thread. I am so terribly sorry for your loss.

I hope that you and your children can find the strength you need to get through this time.

Thinking of you.

ChicaLovesBranstonPickle · 30/06/2008 09:34

So sorry Evenstar