What should I do about money Dad asked me to keep?

[foel]

Starting to worry about sorting Dads finances now....
Dad gave me over the years "some" money to look after which went into a savings account if he ever needed it. All because his saving was building up and up and it was affecting his pension credit (yeh I know).

He said a few times "if I ever go, just keep it".

Not sure if I can do that. Its just not me..... Not a huge amount a few £1000.

To be honest, I'm not saying anything for a little bit because I'm sure my brother will try to rip me off with the will etc. Also, Dad always used to keep cash in the house in hiding places which he must have told brother too. When Dad went into a home I was going to take it and pay into his bank...... All gone prob over £1000 - I know where that went!

BUT I'm not my brother and never want to me. WWYD? I've got family and friends saying keep it you were the one that visited, petrol money, spent hours sorting things out (2 years 2 visits to care home for brother). Doesn't sit well with me though ......

I am thinking of giving half to his kids if I can find them (he doesn't see them, 3 kids 2 mothers, pays CSA when hes forced to). And half to my kids.....

I know if it went to him it'd just be a few more £1000 which would get spent in the pub in next few months which dad hated him doing.

I really don't know.

That. You need to do what he wanted.

How do you think you'd be being like your brother? Your dad TOLD you to keep it. Your brother's just helped himself.

HMRC tax rules

The £3000 gift stuff is to do with inheritance tax, which very few estates in the UK have to pay. Anybody can give away any amount of money they like, but if you die within seven years of the gift it gets added back to your estate when calculating how much tax is due. This is to prevent people trying to get out of IHT by giving everything away shortly before death. However, you can make small gifts and they won't be added back.

One thing stopping me is Dad, towards the end, seemed to forget how much it was. I'm sure he thought it was £1000 or something which yes he did tell me keep it. That is what is at the back of my mind...

I used to "save" the money for Dad regularly. £200 at a time. When he went into hospital it became obvious that he was never going to live at home again. Got Social services involved etc. I did move a few £1000 out at this time too - wrong perhaps but in case they did a financial assessment for care home fees.
(In the end I applied for CHC funding so it was all paid for -left to my brother all of it would be gone in care home fees by now anyway out of the estate - something like £400 a week excess fees - would have been £30K gone as it is)

I checked and its about £6500. I know, I know all my family are saying the same. Your brothers a scumbag who's helped himself, you're the only one who made an effort, spent time, petrol etc and all he'll do is blow it down the pub. All true.

I just can't help thinking that if I said to Dad "its £6K" he might be different. Dunno maybe not. And of course the bit extra he didnt specifically agree to me keeping AFTER he went into the home.

Although, saying that, apart from the money he stole, I spoke to my cousin the other day. She used to do cleaning for Dad and she said MANY times Dad gave him money for rent, car repairs etc when he was skint. Of course, no idea how much that was he had.

Stop overthinking this. Keep the money.

Honestly, keep it.

Just keep it. It’s below the amount he’s allowed to give away in gifts each year so perfectly legal. He wanted you to keep it, it’s legal to keep it… stop being a martyr and just keep it.

Why do you think he’d change his mind if he knew the amount? He has died it’s not like he wants it back!

Honestly all this angst over just £6k.

You're over thinking this. Your dad gave it to you. If you'd said, "But Dad, it's over £6,000, what about my brother?" he would've said, "He'll just drink it. You keep it."

I wouldn't think twice about this - I definitely would if my brother was a normal helpful guy who wasn't a drunk and constantly on that take, but not in your situation.

Hope you don’t mind me saying OP - you’ve spent too much time overthinking this and ended up losing the plot.
Your dad gave the money to you and told you what to do with it if he died before he needed it. If he’d not wanted you to have it he wouldn’t have given it to you to keep safe or said what he did.
You sound a lovely caring daughter, so do what Dad told you to do and don’t mention it to anyone any more. For all you know, and it seems likely from what other family have said, dad could have been bailing your brother out over the years anyway.

I think your Dad wanted you to have this money. Keep it and enjoy it. It's what he would have wanted.