i miss my Mum soooooo much

[lulu2]

My Mum died of breast cancer 4 years ago and yesterday i was busily shopping in sainsburys when i caught a glimpse of a lady and i so thought it was my Mum. It only lasted for a split second and i knew it wasn't her but it has been on my mind ever since.
Has anyone else experienced this? or am i going mad. The weird thing is i wasn't even thinking of her when it happened.
I felt like i couldn't tell dp cos he would think i was losing the plot but i told him this evening as it's been bothering me today.

marcusdartus - just saw your sad post and couldn't ignore it: I lost my mum 16 months ago and today I found myself cuddling her handbag so that I could pretend - just for a minute - that she had put it down and gone into the next room.... - I think it is even harder to show grief as a ma. If you are on tablets I guess that means you have stared getting help but I cannot recommend highly enough undergoing counselling for depression as well. I do hope you feel less alone soon

I lost my mum 17years ago ( I was 16) to suicide. I've stopped thinking that I see her when I am out & about, tho it took a long time. Any brunette I saw I was convinced it was her! But if anything (good/bad/mundane) happens my first thought is to tell her. I know I need counselling for this. Its so hard. My sympathies go to anyone who has lost a loved one

I lost my lovely mum three years ago today. I feel like my head is busting with mixed emotions. Most that I can't share my baby girl with her. She loved babies so much and would've been so brilliant and supportive. I split up with my daughter's dad when she was 9 months old and am on my own. My father has never been around. There is no one like your mum, although some unfortunately don't always have supportive loving mums. I guess i'm very lucky to have had such a mum until I was 32. Life feels much harder in the sense that I feel alone and part of my identity is gone. But then now that I'm a mum I gain strength from that knowing that I can give my little girl security and love and warmth. Thats a beautiful gift. She's a little miracle of happiness to me every day! I don't know if it ever gets easier, but i've learnt to live life to the full without worrying too much i'll go early too. That scares me more than anything. Leaving my little girl alone. xx

I lost my dear father a year last july. It really cuts me up when i see other chaps that remind me of him - someone of similar age, build, looks etc to him. I was at the gym in other day in the pool when I had such a thing happen.

My dad said when he got over his heart bypass op. he would be going regularly with me. I was so looking forward to spending some time with him there and this nice chap started smiling and then chatting to me - I had to get out as I found it far too close to home of what might have been and it really touched me. Even now after all theses months.

I feel and send hugs for everyone on this thread who know what its like.

I lost my mum a few months ago. Although we had not fallen out we had become a little distant from each other as I was so busy but there was a solid mutual love there. She died suddenly - no warning. I had no chance to say goodbye or tell her how much I loved her. It hurts so much. Can't believe I will never see here again - which is probably why I sometimes think that I have seen her as others have mentioned. You know that it can't be her but just for a nanosecond...

im extremely sorry for all your losses, everyone...may God give you all patience. I am a muslim and very strong in my faith..believe in Allah(swt) and i know he is here for me whenever i need him. although this page is about the loss of parent(s)...however i have not lost my parents luckily.i live with out my mum and feel as empty as if she wasnt in this world. i miss her so much..i am crying so hard right now...nobody understands me.. i am without her. i was separated from her at the age of 6 and now i am 17 years old. im at college at the moment and in london. my brother was 5 when he was separated from her. basically we live with my dad and step mum...my step mum has taken good care of us however i feel empty without my mum...when me and bro went to see her after 2 years and when we came back again, i would wake up early every morning crying crying crying crying...and cry myself to sleep yet my dad and step mum no 1 knew this. i would just cry and cry and crry :'( :'( and you know what people i am crying ryt now my heart is about to burst. we got separated from her by personal reasons which i dont want to go in depth about..my mum is in a diffferent country to me ..i live mountains and seas away from her..:'( sometimes circumstances at home arent so good either. i just really want my mum..im loosing on soo much love. i havent had the motherly love other children get in their childhood. please someone helppp meee i just need her soo badly and if anone helpful is available here..that can help me, to them i will explain my life in depth and they will find it interesting and extremely hard breaking..

people i sleep every night crying because i miss my mum just tooo much. :'( tonight i decided people need to know how im feeling and this has helped abit coz i dnt talk to anyone about this i have no one except Allah to talk to ..but i think i need some one physically...

my email is [email protected] email me if you can help me..
thanks in advance...
xx

My Dad died 15 years ago and I still think I see him from time to time. Still is reopening the original wound each time I realise it can't be him. Was on a train with a man who looked SO like my Dad when he was young and couldn't take my eyes off him. He must have thought I was insane. I nearly followed him to see if he really was Dad. That was only last year. And have lost my Mum too - when I see my reflection in a darkened window - I AM her. Very weird. You;re not nuts. Talk to your DH. It's normal. You love your mum and death doesn't end that.

Wild Geese

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting--
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things

by Mary Oliver

This comforts me. We are all, living and dead, part of the family of things. Be kind to yourself and take your mum's love with you. X

My mum died just over three years ago and I totally get where you are coming from. My mum died 2 months before I got married (we brought the date forward) and I miss her every day.

Personally I don't think you ever get over losing a parent that you are close to but somehow you just learn to live with it - as much as I didn't want it to at the time life does carry on. Our memories keep us close to those that we love. (very un-mn type hugs)

Hi everyone,

Im really struggling with my mums death.
She literally dropped dead 7 months ago whilst on holiday on the other side of the world. things have gone from bad to worse with my dads alcohol problems spiriling outa control and in the last few weeks, ive split with ex, moved house and feel totally lost.

does anyone else know how this feels?

I do understand exactly. I am so so sorry for your loss. My mum died 6months ago. I managed to spend her last week with her but I was in america working. she died of a brian tumour and it was very quick (about 2 months). my life is upside down and inside out and I miss her terribly. I keep thinking this isnt getting or feeling easier but it will take soooo much time. they are our mums... there is nothing more special. it also highlights everything else that is wrong with a family.... relationships... problems and especially is she held them together. I miss mu mum every second. its still such a shock. we just have to breath and realise that we are coping as best we can... we are breathing. I split with my ex around the same time and am moving.... its so exhausting I know but these are things that keep us preoccupied I guess. it feels so weird coz everyone has moved on... the world is still turning and everyone is going about there normal lives. I want everyone to stop and see its not the same. but you know it will happen to everyone and has happened to so many and there are people who know how you feel. I do and I am so sorry for you... truly. I would like to hear about your mum if you want to talk. big hug x

I am so sorry

My mum died 15 months ago when I was 19. I think about her every single day and I miss her soo much. I've cried every night for the past week I just wish she was still alive. She knew me better than I know myself and I just need a chat with her sometimes as she always knew what I should do and would always help me. It upsets me so much that she will never meet my children when I have them and wont ever know my husband or be at my wedding or graduation. I miss her and love her loads xxxx

I'm sorry you've lost your Mum, Millie, and so young. Mine is never far from my thoughts and I'm especially missing her today too (she died in March 09) - she was Irish and St Patrick's Day was always special. It really hurts doesn't it? Thinking of you x

lost my mum a week ago.Today I drove past a sign about Mother's Day and lost it completely. Have already lost my dad but the pain I am feeling about mum is so much greater. Can fully understand your feelings op,

Lulu this has happened to me too. In a supermarket, as I was packing my shopping, I realised that the cashier reminded me of mum, who we lost 2years ago. It was all I could do to get anything in the bags at all and pay before getting outside and sobbing. Like you, I hadn't been thinking of her at that time either. Really caught me by surprise. Didn't tell DH either for same reason you nearly didn't.
Like others have said, I dream about mum too, especially if stressed or have a decision to make. As desperately sad as it is, she knew how much we loved her and vice versa so no regrets at least. If she loved us as much as I adore DS (born since we lost her)then we were all very lucky. She would have been the best granny but DS will know all about her and he shares her genes at least.

Hug to everyone who is hurting x

ineedher So sorry to hear about your situation. If you are still around, can you repost what you wrote here on chat or relationships - you might get a bigger response. I wish you luck with getting in contact with her.

I lost my mum when i was 13, she died of cancer and im now 20, it hurts more now then it did then...im always wishing so bad that i could just hug her or speak to her for one last time. I don't feel like i can talk to anyone about it either not evan family i just feel trapped in this hurt its horrible...i have good days and bad days like anyone but nighttimes the worse, she seems to always pop into my mind and i will snap at anyone im talking to because i feel like there ignorant to what im going thru evan tho its not there fault at all.

I lost my mum almost 5 months ago and its still so difficult. I still think about her every moment of the day and just feel so overcome with sadness. I can't imagine ever feeling happy again. She was the most lovable and wonderful mum and I really can't explain how much she meant to me, I just loved her so so much. I really hope this gets easier, I'm lucky I have a lovely boyfriend and friends so I have to live and stay positive but its so tough.
My love goes out to everyone who has lost their mum on Sunday.

I love you so much mum xxxxxxxxxxxx

So sorry to all of us going through this.

It has been 3 months now since my Mum died, and last night I cried myself to sleep. I am finding it tougher as time goes on. I guess there will be a plateau and then hopefully things will feel better.

It isn't helped of course by Mothers Day on the horizon :( It would also have been Mum and Dad's wedding anniversary, so Dad and I are both feeling very melancholy.

I am really snappy with the dd's and just cannot be bothered to do anything. Feel shattered.

Sorry for ramble, and thoughts to everyone missing their Mum. x

My mum died on friday the 13th of june 2003. 38 years of age. Mother of 6 and the best mum ever!!

And even after all this time i see a car like my mum used to drive and for a moment i think "oh theres my mum" and then it hits me and i remember, she isn't here anymore. I see people all the time who look like my mum and again i think it is her even for a moment. It doesn't seem that time helps things. 8 years later and all this still happens.

I get all excited for some reason, and then when i realise its not her car or not her and then my heart falls deep into my stomach and then i feel empty inside and nothing makes the pain in my stomach go away.

I have since had 2 kids with my fiancee and we're expecting our 3rd in september and my mother never even got to meet any of them. I look at my daughter and everyday i see a little of my mum in her eyes. We named our daughter with my mums name as her middle name and i feel its the only thing i could do.

Some people say it gets easier all the time. I don't see how. The longer it is the more i miss her.

I know for a fact, if i had the slightest chance to see my mother again i would. I find it hard to picture my mum now, the only image i have of my mum was the image of her lying out the back garden with blue lips, lifeless. I just wish i could remember what she looked like without that picture keep crawling into my head.

I'm 27 now, and i just feel like a big baby as i feel every day i seem to cry at least once. I wish there was a pill that could make you a braver man and i'd take loads every day.

Its quite nasty to feel like this but its how i feel. Easter is coming up, my fiancee's mother buys our kids easter eggs and all i can think about is my mum woulda done that, my mum would do everything for her grand kids. My mother never had a chance to have any grand kids and its a shame as she adored kids, she had 6 of her own her youngest being 3 weeks old exactly the day she died. and she was only 38 years old.

Sorry for going on i just don't feel after losing my mum that i have anyone else to talk to, not the way a son needs to anyway.

YOUR MOTHER IS YOUR BEST FRIEND, YOUR WHOLE WORLD, AND WHEN SHE ISN'T THERE ANYMORE YOUR LOST!! WHAT DO YOU DO FROM HERE? WISH I KNEW

my mummy's gone too.......

She stopped breathing on september 12th last year at midday but i remember the sun was shining.

I miss her soo much everyday i cry in the car on the way to work and on the way home. When i hear music on the radio she liked or sad songs it just hurts so much. When I am in the garden i get so sad as she would help me with my plants and flowers but now she is gone.

I have a little boy Charlie, luckily she was there for his first few months but his first christmas and birthday was so painfull without her. He is doing so much now and I just want to show him to her and tell her all my news.

I do not believe I will ever get over this and I believe that the only way I am going to get through this is to try to believe that one day I might just see her again when I pass.

I miss you mummy so much. Keep safe x

just reading this thread makes me cry so much :(

I lost my mum who was aged 57 on boxing day 2005 having committed suicide off a cliff after a bout of depression, my daughter was 6 at the time (now 12) and i was 7 months pregnant with my son who is now 6. I still feel very bewildered as though im not the same person anymore and somethings missing. I feel guilty wishing i had done a lot more to help her and maybe she wud still be here, my dad worked full time and i used to get phone calls saying your mam has gone missing off the hospital grounds or she has taken an overdose and id be in hysterics. she came out of hospital for christmas day as she wanted to cook a family dinner and give out presents that day she was happy and singing along to the xmas top of the pops and we all thought she was getting better until the next day when she took her own life. cudnt understand and still dont. I often see a woman who looks a double of my mam everything is the same and sometimes feel like hugging her,and cant stop staring at her and suddenly feel happy for a minute or two strange i know. well and truly missed x

Hi Tracy
Sorry to hear about your Mum, I can honestly say I know how you feel as my Mum was just 60 when she died, also with an anyeurism. It was the most shocking and tragic thing that could have happened, never getting to say Goodbye.
I am considering seeing a Medium, so I hope you decide to go and get a message. It has been 3 years this month since Mum passed and I am only just ready to consider it.
I am sure your Mum is around you and OK, I am convinced mine has made noises around the house and little signs here and there.
Love to you and yours.