i miss my Mum soooooo much

[lulu2]

My Mum died of breast cancer 4 years ago and yesterday i was busily shopping in sainsburys when i caught a glimpse of a lady and i so thought it was my Mum. It only lasted for a split second and i knew it wasn't her but it has been on my mind ever since.
Has anyone else experienced this? or am i going mad. The weird thing is i wasn't even thinking of her when it happened.
I felt like i couldn't tell dp cos he would think i was losing the plot but i told him this evening as it's been bothering me today.

I lost my mother 18 months ago and I was 5 1/2 months pregnant with my 1st child.
She died suddenly when she was on holiday (luckily in her home country with her sisters), so I never got a chance to say goodbye.
She was my best friend and the whole of last year was terrible, mostly because I never really had time to grieve properly.
I think I am fine, and then the smallest thing just starts me off. I dream about her all the time and luckily I am able to hug her lots in my dreams.

I know it's best for her that she died suddenly, but I still have so much pain.

I wish my son could have met her and known her like I did, as she would have been a great grandmother.

Today, reading this thread, has actually helped - just knowing that there are other people that know what I am going through as you are all going through it too, has helped.

sorry, I am rabbiting on a bit too much.

I am sorry for all your losses. I guess time helps but does not heal completely.

To OP - perfectly normal - I have looked at old ladies and thought that they looked like Mum , yes a split seconf but enough to stop you in your tracks .

I lost my Mum a year ago this weekend , keep breaking down in tears as though it was happening all over again.

One strange thing that happened to me soon after Mum died - I just wanted to know that she was somewhere safe , if you know what I mean . Some months after Mum went I had a dream - she phoned me on the mobile and said ' I'm alright I'Ok ' . Has stuck with me ever since and will never leave me . Gave me alot of comfort , sorry if it sounds strange.

Oh it makes your heart jump when this happens. My mum also died of breast Cancer and it will be ten years in August but this still happens to me.

my mum died 16 years ago. I still have days when I start crying because I miss her. She would have been 70 this year.

im 33 and i lost my mum 22 years ago i dont think it ever gets any easier you just learn to live with it .

Lulu - I also lost my mum to breast cancer exactly four years ago. Like you I gt moments when I think I see or hear her. You are not going mad, it is very normal, as are very vivid dreams. Sadly I often dream I am letting my Mum down while she is ill. I never know why I dream this as it is not what happened at all. It bothers me for days afterwards.

Somedays my DD really looks like my Mum and that partly makes me very happy but is also a bit hard as she serves as a constant reminder. She is named after my mother too.

I just wanted you to know you are not alone or weird.

CaptainUnderpants on Thu 17-Jul-08 16:19:14
To OP - perfectly normal - I have looked at old ladies and thought that they looked like Mum , yes a split seconf but enough to stop you in your tracks .

I lost my Mum a year ago this weekend , keep breaking down in tears as though it was happening all over again.

One strange thing that happened to me soon after Mum died - I just wanted to know that she was somewhere safe , if you know what I mean . Some months after Mum went I had a dream - she phoned me on the mobile and said ' I'm alright I'Ok ' . Has stuck with me ever since and will never leave me . Gave me alot of comfort , sorry if it sounds strange.

captain underpants this will sound daft but did that dream seem much clearer and brighter than any dreams youd had before?

i had v strange experience similar to that and its called an angel dream it was so vivid i cried in my dream and in real life - my drem was not about my own mum but my mil but it answered such a lot of questions.

It was quite a clear dream - whatever it was I got alot of comfort from it .

When Mum passed away just desparately wanted to know where she was and if she was safe . I can see why pople get drawn to mediums etc , yet I beleive it is advised not to do so for at least 6 months after a bereavemnet.

I had a tarot card reading about 9 months after - nothing was mentioned of my Mum whcih I thought was strange.

captain underpants as i say my dream was bout my mil and there was things and that dream that made sense to the people who knew her even tho they didnt to me.....now remember this is a dream im not a psycho,,,,, i said to her wheres my mum? why are u here not her??
and she repled with something so honest it ind of settled my mind and made true sense ......

dont think im wacko

she said i can come to you becuse you dont grieve for me, now missing me is ok but whilst you long for me to be back with you i cant visit you,thats why i cant come to xxxx(my dh -her son) but by talking to you you can help him move on.....but where is my mum? i asked again - she cant come to you because you are still grieving for her your love for her is stuck at an 11 year olds love(the age i was when i lost her) for you to see her again you would need her like a little girl and you arent a little girl anymore.

and it kind made sense i cant in my mind picture having an adult relationship with her.

so sorry lulu i have had this happen to me too i lost my mum 7 years ago at 45 of cancer and i hate that she never knew my dc's and it has pretty much divided my family too
It's hard and never goes away!

my mum died in january this year, she was 60 years old. it was so sudden, an aneurism. she was not only my mum but my best friend.
my dads devastated, as all the family are.
its been nearly 7 months now and i still cannot get over the fact shes gone. i cry everyday for her. i'd give anything for just one more day with her. so depressed, miss her so much it hurts.
thinking of going to see a medium, we always used to watch colin fry and john edwards.
just need to know shes ok and still around.
the only things keeping me going are my hubby and kids does anyone think id be doing the right thing?

tracy

You poor darling...totally normal experience. My mother died ten years ago in November and I still have moments where it takes my breath away....having said that, it does get better and the sense of loss is not all encompassing anymore....hang in there xx

tracyb66, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my mum just over a year ago. I went to see a medium and she gave me so much comfort. My mum and dad came through and other friends and relatives. It was lovely to know that they are well and healthy. I know that sounds weird and a lot of people are very sceptical but she told me things via mum that she couldn't possibly have known.

Have you had someone recommended to you? This might be better than going to a group meeting as you will have a longer reading on a one to one basis. Plus it will be more private, you will probably get upset as it is still very fresh.

Sorry if I'm rambling a bit, but hope this helps.

I lost my gran 23 years ago - not a day goes by when I don't miss her.

Windygales - that dream's amazing. It's things like that what give people faith.

Oh this is normal....

My mum died 2 years ago. I still see people i think are actually her sometimes ( I even followed one once just to make sure

Was driving home from work a month or so ago, and thought I'll just pop and see her..........

Don't know that you ever take it in completely. sorry for the loss of your lovely mum and everyone elses on here. mum's are irreplaceable

I lost my mum 17 years ago.
I really miss her.
Sometimes I catch a whiff of someone wearing her perfume and start crying - luckily not many people wear it these days

I lost my nan about 11 years ago, who I was very close too, and for 3-4 years afterwards, I used to think I saw her walking about
I don't think you are losing the plot, I think it is a natural part of grief.

Absolutely normal. I still do this with both my parents (7 + 1 year gone respectively). It catches you unawares then you find yourself standing in the middle of the street crying 'I just want my dad!' (I have done this). It can be a smell (I have heard that smell is the best thing to trigger memory), favourite song, advert on the tv, catching a glimpse of someone out of the corner of your eye who looks like them, a memory that just jumps from nowhere or something that your kids say ("she looks like grandma!!!").

I still get the urge to call my mum. Yes, it gets better over time but I do believe that a little bit of you dies when a parent dies -but the important thing is that you don't let despair or anger (or even jealousy) take its place. I think about them every day and have managed recently to put up some old photos (god, I even talk to them sometimes!).

My friend lost her father at 8 and her mother at 28. Now that's tough... Every time I start the 'no-one should be an orphan at 38' rant, I remember her and how hard it was for her.

Mum2taylor, that poem made me cry - I'll have to print it out. Hatjam, hope you're OK. Two weeks is no time at all, you're expected to be in a state.

Can I ask a question on here, as no one ever seems to talk about grief or dying in RL?

I still feel a sense of bewilderment, like where has she gone.... All the time, I think whee is she, and feel so puzzled by it.

Does anyone else get this?

norksinmywaitband, the perfume thing sets me off too (10 years on).

took me a good few years to be able to go anywhere near a card shop around mothers' day either

i am so glad i am not the only one. I am normal....yippee.
My heart goes out to all of you who have lost your mums.
my dd is staring school next week, another milestone without my Mum. I think i grieve for the relationship my dd will never have with her Granny.
thanks all.

hi lulu...ur mum will be so proud of your dd! My dd starts school next year and I dread going through those emotions It was my birthday yesterday and I just cant enjoy it anymore now I dont have my mum here. Dont know what id do without my dp and dd

Thanks mum2taylor. I know how you feel about birthdays, my Mum loved christmas and now i dread it cos she won't be here.
I want to be able to ring her up and tell her all about dd starting school in the same way i did when dd had her first spoonful of solids. It sucks.
My dp is great too.