The Sunflower Thread for bereaved mummies. For Gareth and Matthew - only a whisper away

[shabster]

Hello my new friends.

Come in, pull up a chair and have a gab

Night night girls - one of the pupils from the school which Matt attended Facebooked me tonight and told me how much his mum still gets upset about the accident. It has touched my spirit and my soul and I am crying, once again. People that I cant even remember still expressing their love for my third born son. OMG this is a difficult path to walk. xxxx

Good morning my friends - everybody ok?

Hey Shabs! I don't know any of your boys, but they all sound like absolute stars (like their mum maybe?) so it comes as no surprise that people still think of him. x

Lighthouse, baby dues early Feb. Part of me really hates people knowing because I know it could still all go wrong at any second and I hate the thought of having to explain things again, and having to cope with all the sympathy. But I suppose I can't very well hied it until baby is (hopefully) here safe and well. Actually, I've just thought of a way it could be possible! When I was 8.5 months pg with ds, I went to a fancy dress party as Homer Simpson. Maybe I could just act like every day is a fancy dress party for the next 6 months and paint myself yellow!!!!!

afternoon everyone..

shabs please dont apologise ... you did nothing wrong..

I think its lovely that there are people out there who stil remember your boys.. shows what a credit matt was to you.

I am sorry you had such a tough weekend.. I read your posts and wished there was something I could do or say to help

This is gonna sound really odd but in some ways its reassuring that you still have bad times too.. makes me feel normal for still having bad times

afternoon everyone..

shabs please dont apologise ... you did nothing wrong..

I think its lovely that there are people out there who stil remember your boys.. shows what a credit matt was to you.

I am sorry you had such a tough weekend.. I read your posts and wished there was something I could do or say to help

This is gonna sound really odd but in some ways its reassuring that you still have bad times too.. makes me feel normal for still having bad times

Oh yes sometimes it all gets too much. Many years have passed since the boys died but IT still gets to me. Most of the time I can cope and I can put the false grin on and challenge the world.

It has just been a weird, weird few months.

Thanks for not thinking I had lost my marbles!! Our thread is our gift from Eris and all our children. Together we will walk the stepping stones on this crappy path.

oh yes Frasersmum - everybody who posts on our thread helps me - we are all in the same boat and words are very important to me, very important. xx

hi girls hope you are all ok,been busy at work and then had all 3 girls, dropped dd at work,then drove back and car light came on ,had to stop and get aa out .baby cried ,never mind andy said dd packed her bag ,no water in bag to make bottle up,looked in handbag milky bar found .she loved it .luckily computer in car just needed resetting.aa followed us home ,olivia said will he always have to be with us xbathed 3 at once last week, but feef everywhere ,did one at a time yesterday,god triplets how the heck did u do 3 same age, 3 under 5 is hard ive aged 10 years in 4 hours.
its only recent but really bonded with amalia the way i did with other 3, driving home 3 strapped in back ,glanced in mirror and shes just watching us ,i turned round and said to andy i just love that baby ,didnt think id ever feel the same as she was so soon after jayden died,but do you know girls shes brill she crawls up to me for cuddles ,ill allways love jayden and he will always be my first grandson .

oh and just in case any of you were losing sleep wondering if shabs was right

its

oh flower of scotland
when will we see your likes again

Hi Ladies,

I love the Flower of Scotland - it's a really stirring song, and I'm not Scottish!

I've spent the weekend with my niece and nephew (dh was in away in London) so I am now physically and mentally exhausted!

FMN - congratulations on taking a big step and telling people. Even though you were shocked when you found out you were pg, I bet your friends and family aren't shocked by the news - I know ours weren't.

Hazy - it sounds like Amelia was sent to heal you.

As a treat (and because I was knackered and couldn't be arsed to do anything) I went to the cinema this afternoon and watched What Happens In Vegas. It was really funny and had me choking on my popcorn.

Shabs, marbles shmarbles!!

Hazy, sounds like a bit of a palava (that word always makes me think of pavlova.....)you had there!

FM - I have to confess that I wasn't losing sleep over it

Ilike, nobody seemed shocked. Most have said how "it's the best thing we could do" and have been thrilled for us. Only my uncle commented on the speed - but he is very foot in mouth all the time (and I STILL love him!).....perhaps I should also mention that I work with my uncle so see him everyday and do not take offense to his blurtings!

Have not heard of What Happens in Vegas. Will check a review immediately......

Lottie, how is the foot?

hazy sounds like you deserve a glass of wine!!!

its amazing isnt.. you thought when you lost jayden that his memory would always overshadow everything else.. and then along came Amelia and all of a sudden you find a corner of your heart that you can devote to her.
Enjoy the cuddles while you can .. in no time she will be too busy running and jumping to stop for cuddles

moveit.. how's bump?? still kicking up a storm???

you must be about 37 weeks now??

Evening everybody - you all ok?

FMN the foot isnt too bad thanks! xx

Morning my lovelys - everybody ok?

Morning ladies, everything is ok in not so sunny Suffolk today.

I'm 37+2 and this little blighter is most defo kicking up a storm - he especially likes to this at about 4 in the morning!

I have got some friends and their kids coming round for lunch today - so I'll be asleep on the sofa by 9 tonight!

Have a good day everybody

OMG Move it - not long now. My first three boys were born at 38 weeks and Tommy was 20 soddin' days late....I almost burst like a balloon!!

Cole was born at 41+2, so I don't expect to have the baby early. 20 days late?! You must have the patience of a saint!

I was also 40 yrs and 7 months old

It just got way beyond a joke. He ended up being a vantouse (sp??) delivery cause his head was stuck - hair raising moments for a little while.

Must admit I was the healthiest during my pregnancy with Tom - fighting fit - not like with the other three boys.

I never had to do the hanging about waiting thing. As you know we lost Fraser 3 days before term

so they were taking no chances so Ross was evicted at 36+5

I never got to nudge hubby and say quietly its time (well thats what happens in the movies !!!)

Night girls.

Oh Frasersmum - sorry if I made you feel sad. Sometimes my gob runs away with me.

thinking of you all xxxx

Morning everyone!

Morning Lottie - morning girls - hope everybody is ok xx

FM, hope you don't mind me asking but why was Ross evicted (I love that!) quite so early? I mean, I'm sure you were absolutely desperate to have him with you safe and sound, but I didn't think they'd do it that early unless there was another reason?