The Sunflower Thread for bereaved mummies. For Gareth and Matthew - only a whisper away

[shabster]

Hello my new friends.

Come in, pull up a chair and have a gab

afternoon everyone

I am fed up cos I dont seem to be able to get rid of this tonsilitis..

I know its a really small gripe compared to the hard time a lot of you are having at the moment so will shut up moaning

mel I am sorry to hear about your fil.

I really dont know what to say aboutyour friend.. I know if it was me I would probs be thinking nasty thoughts .. but I guess she has her own circumstances and problems so I wont judge.

Lottie dont you know you cant be ill when you have a child .. its against the rulesof motherhood thats why my little one is at nursery.. I am off for a nap

oops sorry

Hazy, is your dd away with him cos it was already arranged? Is she happier without him?

Ilike, sorry about the fivers only! Will keep on the Fybogel and see if I can get you something a bit more substantial!! Glad the trial run with the pool went well. And rather envious of your independant midwife!! But you deserve her, and I really hope she helps make things go as smoothly as possible for you.

We do seem to have had a few weddings this year (and sadly we missed one that was also on Saturday, which I was rather sad about). I squeezed into a dress I already had for the wedding and then changed in the evning into the leopard print dress I wore to the hen night in June (which was much looser and significantly more forgiving!. I dread to think how much we've spent on hotels!

Shabs, glad Ems is happily spaced out

Lottie, hope you are feeling all better now. You never know, the nerves may help loosen things up down there!

Mel, I hate it when things happen that give you such conflicting feelings and emotions - happiness, jealousy, shock, all in one go. Do you think your friend really means it or is she just confused at the moment?

fmn trip only just arranged, spoke to eldest grandaughter she wants to know we havent been to see her,im waiting at the blue hotel for you she said ,i thought she would be glad to be without me for a few days. they seem to be ok atm ,not arguing which is good

Evening everyone! Wilfreds just bought a ring and proposed to his home gf! All this and he's only 12! A very tasteful pink plastic ring with lovehearts on it!!

lottie- bless him sounds like hes a bit of a charmer!
frasersmummy- I hope your tonsilitus gets better I used to suffe really bad as a kid it was horrible.
Thanks for all your kind words- I dont know if she means it one minute she was saying she wanted another baby but now she is in the situation she says she doesnt think she can handle another- she already has a 2 1/2 yr old and 7 month old. Her DH said to my DH he doesnt think she will manage with 3 kids...but then it makes me think why didnt they use protection? especially if they dont go through with it?
Everyone to their own choices and all but she knows im against abortions, ive lost my own baby through no choice of my own and weve been TTC for 9mths, Im happy for her but just thought maybe someone else would of been better for her to have had that conversation with....but then maybe im just being a bit out of order.

mel you are sooo not out of order.. I think your friend is being completley unreasonable and selfish to use you as a sounding board for this decision

On the positive side its flatttering that she thinks you are strong enough to support her at the moment

seeing at the 2 hubbies talk .. would it be possible fo your dh to say something to him about how upsetting this is for you and that you have a lot on your own mind right now and therefore probs not the best person to ask/ talk to about this ??

well look on the bright side lottie.. you have at least 4 years to save for your mother of the bride outfit

Good night girls - see you in the morning xxx

Ahem............ Mother of the Groom if you please!!!!

PMSL Lottie. I lurve Wilf!!

In about 1991 my engagement ring disappeared. I searched everywhere for it and was really going mad trying to find it.

In 1992 Matt was killed and I got almost 300 cards and loads of letters. One of the letters was from his girlfriends mum. Rebecca (or Webecca Wed Wibbons as Matt called her) was obviously heart broken and couldnt go in their classroom for many weeks.

Her mum wrote 'Rebecca misses Matt so much, she is heartbroken as only a 7 year old can be! When she gets really sad she puts the ring he gave her under her pillow and holds it to help her to sleep. The ring is so lovely - it has a dark green stone that looks like an emerald '

I hadnt got the heart to ask for it back. It still makes me ROFL when I think about her words. The little bugger nicked my ring!!!

Lottie - think that is why I like Wilf so much - your description of him is so like our Matt xxx

Morning ladies

Mel - you really aren't out of order. Some people just don't engage their brain before they talk.

I hope I'm not being out of order, but I would like to suggest a book to you regarding ttc. It's called Taking Charge of Your Fertility, it's a fascinating read and explains things about a woman's cycle that I never knew. It gives very insightful information regarding ttc and also using our fertility as contraception. Apologies if you find my suggestion crass, but it's not meant to be.

Shabs - I am pmsl about your engagement ring , and the fact that you didn't ask for it back speaks volumes about the type of person you are

Morning Moveit - Webecca Wed Wibbons (Matt couldn't pronounce the letter R) has now been married for two years but I still wouldn't take it back even if she realised its value!!!

He adored her - his favourite words were 'Oh Mam I wove that webecca wed wibbons she has got wed wips and wovwey hair - Im going to mawwy her.'

awww god Lottie sorry.... in my defence it was late and i'm still popping pills.. !!!

shabs that is such a beautiful story thank you for sharing that

shabs that is so lovelyx and so lovely you let her keep it, gosh im sat here on my own laughing away to myself, thanks for cheering me up ,i need it atm xx

Oh girls our Matt was quite a character - will try and think of some of the other things he did and said.

'I cant wead and I cant wite but Im not bothered me Mam, if I get stuck in class I will say Im going to the toiwet and nip into Dans class and ask him - never wowwy about me Mam Im awight.'

Morning girls - guess what? Its peeing down once more

same here and im soaking after bathing the three girls,as their boiler has broken

Lottie - how romantic! But just how will school gf think of all this? He does know that he can't string them both along if he's engaged to one of them doesn't he??

Shabs - you truly are a wonderful lady! No way would I have just been able to laugh about that!! Cheeky little so-and-so!!

Hazy, glad to hear they are getting on OK. Thats something at least.

Mel, I really hope all this doesn't put too much of a strain on your friendship.

The sun is shining here.. we have just had the combines humming away in the next field! Our tv gave up the ghost yesterday evening but we now have a temporary one till next Wednesday... The lovely repair man has been coming here since Wilf was narly 3. He was fiddling round the back of the set to the sound of "Mrk Mrk" His name is Mark!! A truly lovely guy!

Am off out to the pub tonight girls!! WOOHOO!!! I need some grown up time!!!!!
Hopefully no "cider head" tomorrow!!!

have a lovely night lottie..

the weather hasnt been able to make up it mind here today .. its an old cliche but true if you dont like the weather in scotland wait 10 mins

I have been out on public transport today.. I have a toddler who thinks its infintely better to travel than to arrive. We have been on 3 buses, an undergound and a train

on the negative side I am really tired and much poorer.. on the plus side the house stayed tidy and he was asleep in 10 mins flat tonight

Evening girls - hope you are all ok.

Lottie - you and me both with the cider situation. I lurve the stuff!!

Now home have behaved myself! now off to beddy byes xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx