The Sunflower Thread for bereaved mummies. For Gareth and Matthew - only a whisper away

[shabster]

Hello my new friends.

Come in, pull up a chair and have a gab

Many thanks for your thoughts FM. At the moment I am looking forward to the birth, I think because Cole was born a healthy baby I don't have the fears and worries surrounding the birth. However, as Cole ultimately died from liver disease, at the first sign of jaundice I will be shitting myself - even though I know jaundice in newborns is very common.

I think there will also be lots of ghosts to be put to bed at the birth as Cole was an (unwanted) emerg cs (after a planned homebirth) and I desperately want this one to be a home waterbirth.

Issues, issues, issues. We all have them 'eh?!

Hope everyone is well.

Hiya girls.

Em went to the docs with Dan on Thursday. Dan 'grassed her up' to the doctor and he reckons she has PND took him 11 weeks to find that out - PLONKER!! He has prescribed some different AD's than she had before and Danny insists she goes to see a psyciatrist not just a counsellor (full apologies to anyone who is a counsellor). My son has his bossy head on - Im glad to say.

She has spent four days and nights at her own house now.....they are coming for their Sunday dinner tomorrow - so its roast beef with all the trimmings.

It is early days but she has made massive strides this week. I also sneakily Fbooked her friend who had no idea she had PND - she is going to go today for a chat and a brew. I know that I have interfered in their relationship by asking her best friend for help but have given friend strict instructions to not tell her I suggested a visit. All really will be well..........

Oh Moveit - it was easy for me to 'read between the lines' of your last post.

I can remember feeling like that when Tom was born....cried all through the pregnancy.

I know you will be ok - I know you will. Try to be calm.

Shabs - you're such a nurturer (not to be mixed up with nutter )

You haven't interfered, you've helped - there is a difference.

Roast beef and all the trimmings - yyyuuuummm, does that include yorkshire puds?!

Move it - course it does, and roast spuds, mash, carrots, cauli, peas, gravy and maybe make a trifle for afters. You coming up love?? Always room for a few more

We are having cottage pie and lemon meringue pie!

sounds lovely Lottie - Toms favourite - cottage pie!! xx

Its bouncing down with rain and hailstone here! I cant sleep for the noise xxx Cant wait to see Dan, Em and Lew today. Sunday roast dinner is going to be wonderful.

Have a fab family dinner today Shabs. Send some leftovers down this way - I'm not proud!!

Hiya girls - Hiya Moveit - with my greedy lot I cant see there being much left over....maybe I could hide some?????

Em has not had an appetite since she had Lew so I think she might make amends for that today

Hope everybody is alright xxx

Hi all, Wilf had a lovely time with his home girlfriend, i had to get cross with him this afternoon though, he was copying how she walks in her frame and i was really angry.... and sad I told him it wasnt nice and that she didnt tease him for being deaf... i think he understands now! Hes got to dress up as a pirate on Wednesday,.,, ive found an old red stripe top of mine,,, and Antonias going to chop up an old pair of his jeans and make him an eye patch!! Hope everyone has had a good day,,,, you all full up now Shabs????

Morning girls - everybody ok?

Busy weekend here again I see!

How did the roast go Shabs? Did Emma eat a lot? Getting her appetite back will be a good sign that she is on the up....

Ilike, will gladly come and crap for you (although pregnancy is leaving me a little constipated so it might only be a few fivers at a time!)

Can't believe you are so close to the end now! Have you done all your homework about vbac? Have you got a good, supportive midwife on board? Have you hired your pool yet?

FM - how are the tonsills today? Did you enjoy your short rest?

I went to a wedding at the weekend - it was really lovely! In my new "me" style I shed a few tears. Can't believe how soppy I'm getting! There was a bit of a muck up at the hotel (where the whole wedding was and where we stayed) so we got upgraded to an Executive Room. The bed was massive!! Didn't even know dp was in there with me!

Hazy - are you around? Just wondering how dd and her dp(or ex-dp?) are doing?

hi im fine .glad to hear you ok fmn ,dd has gone away for two days with ex dp, no mum she says were not getting back together,my youngesst dd says you confuse me ,have to laugh. bit fed up atm jayden be 2 next month,its hard cos one granddaughter birthday week before and one week af\ter.just miss him so much,dont get me wrong i love them all ,i dont find it any easier.things can only get better,but luck has to change dont it.
shabs hope emma,dan and lewiss ok and enjoyed there dinner,wheres oursx
hope everyone else is okx

I'm feeling crap today......... I have got IBS really bad........ keep rushing for the loo and feel like i have a vice round my stomach. Hope Wilf is in a kind mood when he returns shortly!

Awwww Hazy - our birthdays and 'remember days' come quite close together and it is so hard. The hardest one was Dans 21st when Gareth should have been here.

Ems has started on some new AD's and is like a throwback to the 60's flower power days at the moment Lew is playing them like a good 'un!! 8 weeks old and already knows who will pick him up when he crys etc etc. He screams at me cause Im not playing the game as well! Held him tight in my arms yesterday - held his hand and rocked him till he slept. He kept opening one eye and giving me dirty looks

All will be well......

Lottie - sorry you aren't feeling good - thats not much fun. Tell Wilf he has to be a good lad when he comes back or his Aunty Shabbs will come and snog him with her sweaty moustache. xx

FMN - fivers?? Jeez, can't you see if you manage at least £20's??!!

We've got a pool (we did a trial run at the weekend and there are no holes - phew!) and I've been doing my VBAC homework!

We have hired an Independant MW and she is divine. After our previous NHS (childbirth) experience we decided after that that we would go independant if we could afford it, and we are so glad we did. We haven't had to have the awful situation with a procession of different MW's saying 'ah, this is your 2nd, how's your ds?' then reading further down their notes and realising he has died. I'm not sure I could bear that tbh.

Is it me, or are you always at weddings? You must be skint, new outfits, hotels, presents, hen nights/weekends! The last time we went to a wedding I calculated we had spent over £500 on all of the above

Shabs - there wasn't any trifle in the post today

Lottie - I hope you're feeling better, do you know what triggered it?

Wilfred insisted on cycling to the swimming pool. My stomach ache didnt have a choice but to vanish... talk about flying by the seat of your pants!! Whizzed along the highways and byways of suffolk to our friends pool! Then the same back punctuated with me roaring very loudly "LOOK WHERE YOUR GOING" OR.........."THERES A CAR COMING!" My stomach is better my nerves now arent!!

Hey all, hope everyones well? sorry -I take a while to catch up sometimes
lottie- hope your feeling better now?
shabster- reading back a few I think that you done the right thing i had PND and having someoneto chat to done wonders...hope things stay ok.

Not really having a great day today myself....found out my father in law has cancer(lymphoma) so my DH is in a bit of a state so had to visit his mum 2 try and comfort her as FIL decide to go back to work immediatly after he found out....but not really much anyone can say or do ATM.

and a bit more selfishly my best mate has told me shes pregnant after hiding it from me 4 2 weeks in fear of upaetting me cause weve been TTC 4 9months with no luck. Which I was happy for her but obviously secretly upset too. Then she told me she didnt want it and might have an abortion. I just didnt know wot to say or anything!

my heads all over the place and now ive got a pounding headache!

Night girls - night Mel - its hard when friends make decisions and have thoughts that dont agree with ours isin't it? My DH when I was pregnant with Tom (and 41) said 'if the test for downs comes back positive I want you to terminate.' I looked at him and said fuck off No I wont, two of my sons have died and I am not getting rid of this baby.' xx Thank God everything was just fine with Tom xx

I am so glad I found all of you girls. Night Night see you all in the morning xx

Morning my friends - and the rain continues to fall in piggin' Bolton - this is getting beyond a joke.

Sunshine and showers here! Wilfred is off for his swimming lesson soon!!

lots of rain here toox

afternoon everyone

I am fed up cos I dont seem to be able to get rid of this tonsilitis..

I know its a really small gripe compared to the hard time a lot of you are having at the moment so will shut up moaning

mel I am sorry to hear about your fil.

I really dont know what to say aboutyour friend.. I know if it was me I would probs be thinking nasty thoughts .. but I guess she has her own circumstances and problems so I wont judge.

Lottie dont you know you cant be ill when you have a child .. its against the rulesof motherhood thats why my little one is at nursery.. I am off for a nap