The Sunflower Thread for bereaved mummies. For Gareth and Matthew - only a whisper away

[shabster]

Hello my new friends.

Come in, pull up a chair and have a gab

Morning everybody - been awake since 4am!!

Morning all, Shabs i have said a prayer for Beth this morning!xxxxxxxxxxxx

Thank you Lottie - I am frightened to ring the hospital.

My Danny has been sent home from work today and given two weeks leave on full pay Emma definitly has PND in my humble opinion and she wants to stay at her mums with Lewis all the time. My son is exhausted because he is working a 9 hour day and going to uni part time. He is lonley and today he has finally cracked. He is going to Ems mums picking up both of them and bringing them here. They have been together almost 9 years and I have never seen him this low since Matt was killed. Danny burst into tears in work and sobbed his heart out - the 'big boss' has held him and talked to him.

Our life is either as high as a kite or as low as a snakes belly.

Dan just rang me and I have cried all through the conversation which seems to have made him even more determined to sort out this mess. He hasn't seen me cry for many years.

Kids - who would have them?

Oh Blimey Shabs.

I do hope it is good news about Beth.

Has Emma spoken to anyone about how she is feeling? Has her HV or GP picked up on anything? I really don't know very much about PND, but I guess the first step is acknowledging you have it? Maybe you could start another thread on MN and find out what yu can do to help?

Am thinking of you Shabs and sending you all love and strength.

Oh, and FMN I'm sending a big hug your way. I'm not sure I can add anything to what others have said, but maybe you can ask MNHQ to delete any of your past threads? Some may say this is avoidance, but sometimes it's what you need to do to keep your sanity.

Morning Moveit - Em seems to have convinced both the GP and HV that she is fine and is just panick attacks. Her aftercare has been shite. 3 visits from her midwife, 1 from the HV, and sent home 2 days after an emergency c section.

If you have a peek on the multiples thread I have put all the story on there.

The sound of my firstborn boy (almost 27yrs old) crying on the phone has made me so mad and angry with the Health service, Em, Ems mum etc etc. Dan has had enough loss and bereavement in his short life.

Lottie you better say a prayer for me to - keep calm, dont cry and dont get angry

...and those few visits have been spread out over 10 weeks FFS!

Mine and Dannys song

Prayers for you too Shabs xx
An Avalanche of Blessings

Perhaps the invisible shield we hang over our children is made up of the values we instill in them, our desperate caring, our prayer for their safety. So we turn to prayer?for our children and maybe just as much for ourselves. We join our concern with God?s?the divine parent who loves them even more than we do.

We do not pray for our children in some wishful way, superstitiously trying to prevent all harm. Instead we take an active stance that recognizes our human limitations at the same time it bows before God?s power. ?I will do everything I can to keep them safe,? we say. ?But I?m imperfect. I call on you, great God and loving parent, to protect them when I cannot.?

We ask for an avalanche of blessings, all the best God has in store for them.

• Kathy Coffey

I found this online Shabs........ thought the words were suitable.........

hi shabs im sending you huge hugs life is so bloody shit isnt it ,my dd has split up with her partner,they have struggled since our little man died but cant get sorted atm arguing over baby etc,then this morning my grandaughter got up her rabbit has died ,she was heartbroken, i ran to ter house but dare not pick him up ,rang my dear friend who just finished night shift and he has come and buried him.explained that hed gone to heaven to play with jayden,she was sat at window ,shouted her over,but granny im waiting to see jayden to come back for the bunny,how do you explain.
shabs said a prayer for you ,im sure the hospital doing all they can '
hope everyone allokx

Morning everyone.

Shabs - I've only just seen the thread. I'm saying a prayer for little Beth and your family and hoping all will be okay.

FMN. Hope you are okay (wansn't around last night) am sending you a 'virtual' hug!

Frasersmummy & FMN. I know exactly what you mean about the first holiday. I spent so much time thinking of Noah whilst we were away, feeling guilty about being there. When I looked at the photos we took once back home there were one's where I was smiling and I just felt so guilty.

Thank you all - I am feeling better agin thsi morning, in the cold light of day!

Shabs, I'm here for you too! You must be exhausted trying to cope with with all this. Thinking of Beth and all her family (including you!).

So sorry to hear that Emma is struggling and the impact it is having on Dan. I remember PND. I remember knowing what everyone was getting at and knowing I was struggling somehow but still not admitting to how I felt. I think maybe because I didn't really know how I felt, or at least I didn't know how to put it into words. It is only further down the line that I can look back and see it as quite a dark, low point in my life. The thing that ultimately helped me was going back to work! Having a reason to actually get up and washed and dressed in the morning was a life saver! I really hope they find their path through this quickly and safely. xxx

Hazy, sad to hear about your dd. Do you think it's for good, or that maybe they can work through it? And your opoor little gd - so hard for them to understand

Thank you so much my friends for your words, understanding and support. Not heard from my niece yet....OMG I hope that Dan and Em dont split up - I am afraid that would be the end for our Danny. Right, chin up, smile on, wait for the phone to ring.

Thanks again my loves. xx

shabs they will be finexx big hugs and prayersxx i tried to get link u sent yesterday but cant xxx

Shabs, no splitting up going on in your life. They might have a tough time ahead, but they probably actually need each other more than ever and just need to find their way around becoming parents for the first time and coping with the changes a baby brings. xx

Morning all, sending Shabs, my dear friend for there up Norf loads of hugs today (as always)

It is my remember day today for my brother, he has been gone 19 years now, he was 18 when de died.

Wherever he may be, I know he will bemaking people laugh and showing them how to love.

I miss you my handsome brother.

Nice to see you again Vag.

Will think of your brother today. x

Vag - will be thinking of your brother on his remember day. If he was anything like you he will be making people wet there pants laughing Thinking of you and your family today and sending wheelbarrows full of love xxxxxx

Will be thinking of you today Vag.. Shabs.... how is everything today??

To be honest Lottie I dont know!! Dreading phone calls from either my niece or my son! xxxx

Hugs and kisses for you Shabs...... xx

Hi there Vag, I will be thinking of you and your dear brother today xx

Thank you all very much for your kind messages, I'm alright once I have my initial blub.

DH gave me a lovely hug this morning, one of those I dont need to say anything hugs, and I was fine, right up until my DS age 4 came up and gave me a thigh high huggle too.

Ah bless him.

Sorry I have not been about for a bit,

x

Vag, thew thing is with friendships that it doesn't matter if you aren't around for a while. When you come back, everyone is just pleased to see you. And I think it's the same in RL or in our MN world! So if you aren't here often, we don't care! We're just happy to see you when you pop by!

Shabs, I'm hoping that no news is good news??

FMN, big Vaggy hugs coming your way, what a lovely thing to say - thank you

Have kept busy today, working a split, so just back to work with DH for the evening !!

Wish me luck