The Sunflower Thread for bereaved mummies. For Gareth and Matthew - only a whisper away

[shabster]

Hello my new friends.

Come in, pull up a chair and have a gab

Morning girls.

Moveit - Know what you mean about shying away from large groups of people. That still sometimes frightens me off and I am 26yrs and 16yrs down the line.

I think your wedding plans sound so wonderful. Small and simple (sounds like me!) is really my favourite way to celebrate. We went to a massive, very expensive wedding reception last year and it was truly awful.

Hi Shabs,

Well I'm not small, but I am simple

I'm going to be quite busy over the next few days, but I will defo report back after the event.

So if you remember, please raise a glass for Cole, dp and me on Weds.

Much love to you all xx

How exciting - will raise a glass for you and I know that Cole will be smiling down on all of you. Take care and enjoy

ILTMIMI - many congratulations to you and DP. Hope you have a fab day on Wednesday and good to do something so positive on Cole's special day too, will raise a glass (or two) for you and your family.

FMN - sorry to hear about your emotions being up and down. Believe it or not, although it will get less as time goes on, there will always be people who don't know what happened or put their foot in it somewhere along the way. It's difficult to know how to react to this, I know I either started to blub or explained things in such a factual way, that they are made to feel really embarrassed (not sure which is worse!). Just hang in there FMN, you are doing really well and once you have your new baby in your arms, life will get better I promise!

Hi all, have got Wilfred home now, not the best start, hes left one of his favourite dvds at school! We had a lovely sports day and Wilf won nearly all his races too! The mums race was done on space hoppers!!!
great fun though!!

Ilike - how lovely for you, dp and Cole. A really special day to marry on. I will certainly be thinking of you all on wednesday and will look forward to seeing some piccie on your profile. Will you be going away at all afterwards?

Also, comment on AD's wasn't crass. TBH, I didn't take them for depression although I think I was misdiagnosed as having depression a lot over the years. The reason I took them was for OCD. I waited 3 years (!!!!) for CBT but I found it useless (it is fantastic for some people, but just not for me - my OCD manifests in a mainly strange way that is difficult to describe and difficult for peopl to understand. So I reduced my own dose and hoped to gradually vut it down and out. Obviously now, I just stopped it when I forot to take my meds on holiday. I think as I get older I learn more about myself and find my own ways to cope. That is what I'm having to do here. But back to the original point, yes the do mask feelings, I suppose that is their job as an AD. But having spent many years taking them, I am also on a bit of a voyage of self-discovery emotionally! For example, I cry a lot easier than I realised - at happy things and sad things....I never thought I was a "crier" so its quiet surprising!!!!

Lottie - how did you do on the space hoppers? I imagin they are one of those things that you think will be really fun but which is actually rather hard work!

My friends did their half-marathon today in about 2hrs 30 mins. Fabby them! my children had made them a medal each, which they gave them at the end. Made me realise how very unfit I am, seeing all the pensioners crossing the finish line!

Lottie - have just seen that you and Wilf made a donation on my friends fundraising page. Thanks you so, so much. You really didn't have to, and I hope I didn't sound like I was bullying people, but thank you both. xxx

What I was saying yesterday about being more emotionsla now - I'm now sat at work with my eyes filled with tears trying desperatly hard not to bawl.......

Oh sod it FMN - have a bawl!!! In Lancashire they say the word skrike for cry. My Nana Elsie used to say 'Skrike love, the more you skrike the less you pee!!'

I am from a long line of odd bods

Sorry if i have made you bawl. You werent bullying, it was somethig i felt i wanted to do! lots of love x

Well, it is very much appreciated Lottie!

And I think I'm on the verge of striking again (a good thing too cos I'm sick of traipsing all the way over to the loo upmteen times a day for a pee!) cos someone called RipMacWinkle has made a donation having seen something on MN.

Anyone know RipMac? I don't recall ever coming across her before...

Has all been very quite on her recently - I hope everyone is off having summer fun. Or in the case of Ilike, getting ready for a very imminent big day!

xx

Hi FMN - hope you don't mind. I had read this thread the other day when it was top of the Active Convos list and remember reading about Eris before.

I thought what those guys was doing was fantastic and thought I'd bump it a little.

Hope that doesn't seem stalkerish - am not really

Evening girls - everybody ok?

No.,........ im too bloody hot lol...... nah all ok here at the moment! have to finish making a chocolate cake shortly and wash up.. making me sweat just thinking about it!!

How bizarre - I posted a message a couple of housr ago but it isn't here!
So now I will try and remember what I said!

RipMac - thank you! What a lovely thing to do - it restores my faith in human nature when people do lovely things like that.

Lottie - hope you are feeling a bit cooler today?

Shabs - are you all moved, unpacked and in place? If so, can you pop down and give me a hand please

Hope everyone else is well?

Hiya FMN - yes every box is unpacked. Got to decorate the two bedrooms yet and a bit of painting downstairs. Living room carpet down and it is delicious!! Stairs carpet on Thursday.

BUT....give us a few hours and I will be down what do you need a hand with?

EVERYTHING!!!!!

Tracking down cat pee, tracking down cat repsonsible for peeing and disposing of it in a way my daughter approves of, a spot of gardening (i.e. returfing the back garden!) and decorating my bedroom! Our room has been stripped back to bare walls for 3 years and is covered in graffiti from a previous occupant - furniture is not suitable so need to build a couple of wardrobes. I don't actually know where to start with it! Perhaps we should just move house

What colour carpet have you gone for for your stairs and living room? I always seem to get it wrong.....

We got a lovely milk chocolate colour! Didnt think it would go with our sofas cause they are very dark navy blue. BUT - we have magnolia walls, long cream curtains and the scatter cushions on the suite we have got cream, chocolate brown and sky blue!! Sounds weird but looks brill - How big headed did that sound??????? We have never, ever had a more modern living room with what we want in it - always had everyones cast offs!!

I am very very lucky to have two great friends who live close to me and they have helped me so much with everything.

Im petrified of cats so would panick if I had to help you with them but I wish I was closer then I could come around and help out. xxxxxxx

shabs that sounds lovely,glad all is looking up at last for you,xx

Hi everyone, Im quite new on here and I put a post on for my little boy a week or so ago and lottie suggested that I look on here, so I thought i'd say hi. x

Hi Mel - stick around because the ladies on here are the lovliest people I have 'met' for a long time.

We bring our tears, our fears, our hopes, our anger and our laughter here. It's great!

Thanks shabster.... Im usually online most nites so prob be seeing me a lot LOL

Hope you are - look forward to getting to know you - wish we could have met on a 'happier' thread but we all help each other out on here.

the best way a friend who lost their teenage daughter explained it to me is 'we are all in a group that nobody wants to be a part of' and that is so true.

Very true words. Tell me to get lost if you want to - do you want to tell me your story? I sound like someone on the line at the Samaritans

Lets try to put this a better way - I am a nosey pig xxxxxxx

I heard someone once describe it as 'a weird experience - the loss of a child, all your hopes and dreams gone.' I have lost 2 of my 4 sons many years ago now but there are still times when it overwhelms me.