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The Sunflower Thread for bereaved mummies. For Gareth and Matthew - only a whisper away

1000 replies

shabster · 12/06/2008 14:30

Hello my new friends.

Come in, pull up a chair and have a gab

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Thelighthousekeeper · 17/07/2008 23:08

Hi everyone, I recently started a thread after my baby boy died and so many of the lovely ladies and indeed Shabster this evening have suggested that I come here. So I just wanted to say hi, and thank you all for your kind words in the past few weeks.

shabster · 17/07/2008 23:22

Welcome Lighthouse - so glad you came. Hang around because the ladies on here are a special bunch. We will all help you in any way we can.

My email is [email protected] if you need to talk. Have you noticed how I wear my heart on my sleeve!!! Keep visiting - sorry that we had to meet like this but glad you came.

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triplets · 17/07/2008 23:27

Firt and foremost what fantastic news Dippy, you too deserve a break, hope it al goes ahead smoothly, xxx
Had an extremely exhausting day, poor Dh really struggled to get to the hospital only to find his consultant was away! Her registrar was very sweet but sat there reading up his notes as we went along! She was very concerned, as was the stoma nurse, his blood pressure was very high, heart rate too fast, kidney levels not good, so they have kept him in for the night to top him up with fluids as he is very dehydrated. If things look better tomorrow he`ll come home, then back to chemo next week. They did not have the CT scan, it was done 4 weeks ago! Said they would find it and tell him tomorrow, my eyes are blurring here I am soooooooooooo tired xxx

lottiejenkins · 17/07/2008 23:29

Hi Shabs, have just been out and had a very drunken time... keep think of poor Triplets... and hoping she's ok..... Have had an interesting time in London,,, i had a guided tour of the new hearing aid centre in Harrods... which was fun. Went out tonight and completely forgot to ring Wilfs key worker at school but had a lovely time with good friends.....

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 18/07/2008 11:47

Hi Lighthouse, come join in or just lurk if that's what you want to do.

Trips - I hope your dh gets to come home today xx

feedmenow · 18/07/2008 16:31

Trips, am thinking of you my lovely, and your dh too. SOunds like you are both having a really crappy time. How is he today?

Dippy - a donor? Fabby news! Really, really pleased for you!

Lighthousekeeper - glad to have you here. How are you doing? I read and posted on your thread before, but would love to hear all about your baby boy if you feel up to it. Don't worry if you don't - no pressure - just talk when you want to. xx

Ilike - 33 weeks? Not long now! Feet in your ribs, head in your bladder...oh, the fun!

Lottie - how are you feeling today? Were you so drunk that you regret it now?

lottiejenkins · 18/07/2008 18:20

I almost did something i regretted! but backed off at the last moment(nuff said!!) I wa drinking cider which always makes me do sill things!!

frasersmummy · 18/07/2008 21:39

trips I dont know what I can say .. you and your husband are soo brave .. you are still in my prayers

lighthouse I am glad you have found your way over here. How are you holding up? we are all here to listen if you want to tell us about your experience.

frasersmummy · 18/07/2008 21:51

I feel like such an idiot because I had a wobble at my work today.

They were doing a presentation for one of my friends who was going off on mat to have her second child.

our boss said you should be an expert at this seeing as this is the second time you have done it. And my friend said well yeah Michael is still alive.... there was a second's pause and she clarified by saying I must be doing something right as he is still alive 3 years on. Was quite funny but in that split second pause I just felt a lump in my throat and I had to go off and have a bubble after the presentation

I feel stupid especially when I come on here and realise what hard times some of you guys are going through right now

sorry for rambling on just felt I had to get this off my chest

triplets · 18/07/2008 22:19

Hi girls..............Lottie, hows the head
Dh back home at 6pm, they seem to have sorted him out, though he looks pretty awful still. He is also in a very grumpy mood with me, I don`t think he really understands how much this is screwing me up, its all so incredibly hard just trying to keep it all together. He said,"why are you so tired?!!!

Thelighthousekeeper · 18/07/2008 23:20

Hi everyone.

Shabster, ILikeToMoveItMoveIt,Feedmenow and Frasersmummy - thank you so much for the warm welcome.

We're going away tommorrow for a few days, back Thurdsay so I just wanted to post before we go away. This will be our first time away since my DS Noah died six weeks ago. Part of me feels guilty about doing something nice without him and both my DH and I are dreading not being able to go and visit him every day.

triplets · 18/07/2008 23:32

Hi,
This brings back memories for me. Eight weeks after Matthew died everyone said to Harry, "take her away, go somewhere nice". We live in Kent, he took me to Scotland. I cried all the way there, lasted 2 days and cried all the way back.But everyone is different and for you it might be right. It was 15 moths before I went away again and it was very theraputic, lots of love xxx

Thelighthousekeeper · 18/07/2008 23:44

Thank you Triplets. We are just going to take it hour by hour. You and your DH are in my prayers. xxx

shabster · 19/07/2008 08:48

Morning my dear friends.

Lighthouse - we went away for Xmas the year Matt was killed. We went to Teneriffe and really enjoyed the hot sunshine. We had several 'wobbly' moments but it was good for us. We were all exhausted in our grief before we went but it was a welcome break.

I hope you all have a peaceful, relaxing time and I know that Noah would really approve

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lottiejenkins · 20/07/2008 09:10

Shabs i hope the move goes well for you...we moved with a horsebox... not recommended!!! Am feeling a bit up and down today... am worried about having Wilf home for so long in the hols i suppose though we have lots of things planned! Ive got a lot planned for my last week at home though before he comes home!!

shabster · 20/07/2008 09:26

Morning Lottie - just started taking boxes around - it is only about 100 yards from us so we are very lucky. Got a removal firm for the big stuff - DH has a spinal injury and cant lift anything and I AM NOT carrying everything

Im sure the Summer school holidays will be a blast - dont fret and worry just enjoy

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shabster · 21/07/2008 00:00

Hiya friends....just wanted to mention that Monday is my twin son Gareths 26th 'remember day.' It goes easier but still hurts. 'Thinking of you as always my darling..Only a whisper away.'

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lottiejenkins · 21/07/2008 08:30

Love to you Shabs xxxxxxx Hope Gareth has found Jack and is looking after him! Im sure he has, and is............

frasersmummy · 21/07/2008 13:35

hi shabster just to say I am thinking of you. I hope today passes peacefully for you

lottiejenkins · 21/07/2008 21:57

Hi Shabs, i hope the move has been ok.... have been thinking about you today xxxxxxx

shabster · 22/07/2008 12:07

Hiya girls - 4 boxes left to unpack and Im more knackered than Mrs Knackered of Knackered Street!! xxxxx

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LouiseAnn · 22/07/2008 16:45

Popping in to say hello to everyone. I haven't been on for nearly 2 weeks and a lot seems to have happened.

Love and prayers for everyone.

I was in hospital for a week as my blood pressure went up and I am 30 weeks pregnant. Baby boy and I seem to be fine though.

LouiseAnn

shabster · 22/07/2008 16:51

Good to see you back sweetheart. A baby boy awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww I was lucky enough to get four of them and they are just delicious. xxx

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dippymother · 22/07/2008 17:02

Hiya girls - many thanks for all your good wishes, really appreciate it as I have felt very up and down as well as shattered with all the travelling and trying to fit in my job. Luckily, I have 5 weeks off now and will have to decide over the summer break whether to return in September. I would like to as I may need some money coming in but its hard trying to put 100% into the job when my mind is elsewhere!

DH has finished the first chemo course, his blood counts are low and he is now at risk from infection. We now wait to see if his bone marrow will recover and blood counts return to normal, then he will be able to come home for a few days before the next chemo course. The hospital want him to be in remission before doing the transplant but if his bone marrow doesn't recover to normal levels they may have to do the transplant sooner rather than later. One minute they are positive, then the next there is a problem and it makes me feel that there is not a lot of hope but we have to go along with what the hospital are doing because we have no other choice while there is hope.

Triplets, sorry to hear about Harry, I understand about needing fluids etc. My DH has had top ups of magnesium, potassium and blood platelets during the week because his levels were low. Hope the fluids helped and that he was able to come home again. I'll be thinking of you both next week for the chemo.

Shabs, hope the move went ok and that you're getting sorted. It must have been hectic just after your holiday as well...

Lighthouse, so sorry to hear about your son, hope we can be of some comfort here.

Lottie, hope all goes well over the hols with Wilf, I am sure with lots of things planned, it will be rewarding for both of you.

Just wanted to add birthday wishes for my son, Adrian, 20 yesterday and only a whisper away....

FMW - hope all is well with you and the pregnancy.

shabster · 22/07/2008 17:15

Happy birthday Adrian - 20 yrs old.....I reckon closer than a whisper away Same day as my Gareths 'remember day.'

Have missed you dippy - but can easily understand why you have been busy

My love to you and your family.....hope everything works out for you.

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