New Year sadness

[Fancytrike]

Well, I lost my brilliant, funny, so very alive and full of life DF this year. And here comes grief again to whack me in the face on New Years Eve. Christmas fine (obvious gap/something missing, but manageable). NY for some reason makes it even more final. Felt odd last few days, out of sorts, lots of memories. So used to carrying on and caught up with Xmas busyness that it’s only occurred to me today that it’s a year he will not see - and I really will never see him again.

Just a little thread for anyone feeling the same. Grief is the gift that keeps on giving. Hope everyone doing ok tonight.

❤️

Lost my beloved dad in 2022 and yep like others couldn’t hold back the tears at midnight , we both had ill health for years so often when it was party time for the rest of the family me and him would be together having a quiet moment and I miss that a lot.

I had a cry earlier at the end of the railway children too when her daddy got off the train - I’ll always be a daddy’s girl

Agree, so hard to see a new year where people we lost, they won't be part of our lives.

It's coming up for the 4th anniversary of my husband's death - he died over the New Year Bank Holiday. For some reason, it seems worse this time. Maybe because I had an invitation to stay over at a friend's last New Year and 2022 I was still in a fog of Diazepam.

Thinking of you @speedling I lost my husband in August

I'm so sorry @Chocolateteapot12 and @speedling .

Having lost both my parents there is not a day goes by that I couldnt weep for them and my utter grief that they are no longer here, but I try to keep up the life and great times I know that they would be so happy that I can still have. It keeps me going at tough times.

A gentle happy new year to everyone. If all else fails, we made it x

My dad died in July. Completely out of the blue.
I miss him but I've been okay over Christmas & New year. I try not to think about it and I don't know if that's the right way to go about it. I expect it will hit me at some point. It does hit me randomly. When I'm alone & have head space.
We've had a hard 24 months with 4 major bereavements. All very sudden.
I'm lucky I have a strong network and I'm grateful for that.
I think we should enjoy life and make our loved ones proud. That's what my Dad would have wanted and that's what I try to do. But I miss him. He wasn't perfect, he was complex but he was my Dad.
Sending love to you all xx

@hby9628 it's ok to be ok.. I understand lost my dad in 2021 and I was ok and I still am but now I've learnt that's OK, we are all very different in grief.

Sending big hugs to everyone on this thread.

I am so sorry to everyone feeling the loss this time of year. It’s so difficult 😞
I too have felt the pain of loss this year. My Dad passed away suddenly on 05/12/24 after 6 months of struggling. He had a fall which resulted in a severe traumatic brain injury. He just couldn’t battle on any longer. It’s heartbreaking any time of the year. But I haven’t lost faith or hope because he would not want that for me.
I hope you can all find a way..,,,, xx

My friend is in the same boat. Even to the month. tonight, the change of year clearly caused him so much grief. We all tried to be there for him. It was so sad that 2025 is a year without my friend (his dw) in it. It hasn't even been a full year yet.

Praying for all those here who lost loved ones and are grieving xxx

@creamsnugjumper thank you. I am sad in my heart but I know he wouldn't want me to be sad so I try not to let it rule me which comes with its own guilt. Grief is complex. Ultimately I love him and I know he loves me & all his family. I try to draw strength from that.

@SwimmingOnEggshells Thank you for your kind thoughts. Loosing someone you love is awful and starting every new year with the anniversary is hard. Hope are ok today.

Hope everyone feeling a bit better tonight. I didn’t expect it to be so bad. It’s over now, onwards with some looking after ourselves!

It’s my Dads Commital tomorrow. I am feeling so sad. He wanted a direct cremation so I will just use tomorrow as a day of reflection and remembrance. Sending hugs to everyone ❤️

I understand. It's another year without them in it. Somehow, this year, it also made them feel further away. It's a hard time of year for those who have loved ones behind them.

The problem, per se, with New Year and grief, is we move to another year without that person and we don't bloody well want to. It's a tangible time stamp with people cheering and counting down when all we want to do is turn back time.

Thoughts with you today and hoping you are finding some comfort in good memories.

Hand hold to you all. I read somewhere that grief is like a wave. It retreats and crashes jnto u when u least expect it.

Thinking of you.

Took my elderly DM to the GP surgery this morning. We ended up being seen by the nurse who gave my dad his injections for prostate cancer. She said every time my dad went in for his injection he got her a bar of chocolate
My dad handled his illness with such grace and dignity. He played his illness down when talking to me and DB about it. I wish i could have helped him more

💔We all feel that way about those we've lost. We always think that we could have done more.

Hope everyone's doing okay.
My NYE was quiet, a couple of glasses of fizz with my siblings and kids. I didn't cry til I got home and sat on the sofa with DS (20) who just did that heartbreaking silent cry. He said he just still can't believe we will never see him again. That started me off.
I think that's what I'm finding difficult. I can control my own heartbreak but watching it play out in my son's eyes is horrible. There's literally nothing I can say or do to make him feel better. Not used to that

@speedling I have been thinking about you since I read your post earlier. We can’t take away the hurt or the loss but we can be there when they need us. Just to be a shoulder to cry on.

I spent the day crying then okay, then crying etc. looked through some pictures, read some of Dads old army letters to his Mum and cried again. I know it will be like this for a while. I’m okay with that. ❤️