View open coffin or not?

[Darkclothes]

We have the option of viewing the open or closed coffin for a close relative. Any pros/cons of either decision please? If you viewed one open- did you regret it?

Open coffins are the norm in my country and it's fine. I have always found it to be a comforting/positive thing or at worst, neutral.

My great aunt, the first time I saw a dead person as a child, looked lovely - so much better than how haggard and grey she looked during her final short illness. My grandmother, on the other hand, had a rather heavy-handed make-up artist, and didn't look all that like herself, but others were happy. My mother looked a bit over made up too, but broadly fine - of all people, I would be the most "critical" of her appearance though, right? My uncle, quite recently - well, I hadn't seen him in a long time, and it was very positive to see him one last time.

Personally I find the idea of a closed coffin more distressing (claustrophobia, and a worry that the person might be frightened, even though they're dead!) than open.

I went to see my nan when I was 16. My mum kind of encouraged me but I actually wish she hadn't.

My nan had olive skin anyway so her pallor was always yellowish and waxy, therefore she didn't really look any different that way but they had stitched her mouth shut and that was obvious.

Not an experience I'd repeat.

Agree. FIL went and sat with MIL’s coffin every day until the funeral. He just wanted to be with her I think until he couldn’t any more.

I’m Irish so it’s perfectly normal to me but that’s at most a few days after the person has died. I can’t imagine a funeral let alone an open casket 2 months later

I always go, I don’t ever find it easy but it’s important to me. It’s not a nice experience, the person isn’t there and the body doesn’t ever look quite like our loved ones did and it is very cold to the touch.
I don’t regret it but if you decide to go please take someone with you for support.
Im very sorry for your loss. 🙏🏻

@KidsDr

Beautifully put

I think it's very normal if your Irish ( Irish roots here too).

My mil was asked to see a relative over two weeks,after a death and my sil said the deceased just looked like they was sleeping. I'm not sure I would have left it that late. Mil was debating it, I said I personally wouldn't and then she had a go at me. After that I'd never give an opinion again on the matter unless it was my kids.

The relative who died didn't want any visitors in life but people was invited to the funeral home. Makes me think I'm going to say no viewings of my body unless it's my next of kin.

There's no right or wrong answer. It depends on your beliefs and culture I think.

I saw both my parents (very briefly) in the hospital fairly soon after they had died.They looked like they were dead, frankly. Shrunken, cold, and waxen. Not themselves.

Having been present when beloved animals have died, it has become very clear to me that once that last breath is taken, their spirit, by which I mean the thing that animates them and makes them who they are, is gone, and what is left is simply the outer husk.

I have never felt any need to spend time with their bodies afterwards, much as they were dearly loved. Because they were gone. I always take small snippets of their fur though.