I miss my dad so much

[Bloom15]

My dad died last Tuesday (a week tomorrow). I feel so bereft and heartbroken. He was the best dad - watched me make up endless dances as child, and a wonderful Gaga to my son. Every day I wake up thinking I won't cry but always do.

I miss him so much

I feel so sad this week and am constantly bursting into tears.

@Bloom15 it's so hard, I know. You keep on going then it comes over you in a wave. I think this is a difficult time when others less close to your lovely Dad are adjusting and life goes on around you as normal but you're still on a roller coaster of emotions. It feels very isolating.

I haven't listened to more than some excerpts but I am told that Julia Samuel's Grief Works is a helpful book/podcast. Even if it's not quite the right time it might help later if only to hear someone else articulate what is so hard to explain to friends and family (or to yourself).

It does get easier. I am just over three years ahead of you and I really struggled with my loss and not being able to help my Dad or have a funeral because of Covid, but slowly I got more on an even keel. it's just that no one can tell you when you will feel better and the path isn't a straight one with some days unexplainably harder than others. But you will feel better over time. xx

Thank you so much @YouOKHun - it is like waves. DH's brother was killed when he was a teenager and MIL has been telling me to be easier on myself

Sorry for your loss. I have no words that will ease how you are feeling. Take care of yourself

I'm sorry you've had such a sad and difficult week. I wish I could send you a hug and ease your pain. Please don't give yourself a hard time for crying or feeling sad, it's normal. You will get through this and it won't always feel so excruciating 💐

Sorry for your loss. 3 months since my dad died. It's hard. It hits me when I least expect it. I just want to give him a big hug. Be kind to yourself.

Thanks all for your kind words. I just miss him and talking about him in the past tense hits me hard. DS still talks to him, which is lovely but heartbreaking

Sorry for your loss OP. I have no advice as I feel your pain. My dad died in July this year. I came on here to see if there was any advice. As I am sat here missing him like crazy, he was my everything and I just miss seeing, hugging and chatting to him. I am contemplating going up to his grave so I can be near him and to be able to cry without anyone seeing me. I feel like I can’t do it around my children so when I feel the tears coming I just want to run away or stop them from coming completely. I have never felt pain like it 😭💔

I'm so sorry 💐

I go to the cemetery sometimes so I can sit on a bench and cry. He doesn't have a memorial but it feels helpful to have somewhere to go sometimes - somewhere where life isn't bustling on as normal around me and I can just feel what I feel and acknowledge that my life is different.

Even if there are other people there they've always left me in peace. It's a cemetery, people understand why a crying person is there!

I think crying allows you to gradually release some of the pain, so if you can find a time and space where you feel safe to allow yourself to cry then I'd encourage it. 💐

@Bloom15 Hello OP My dad died on 6 October and i know what you are feeling. I miss him so much. He had prostate cancer but died in an accident on the stairs at home. When i was in last year of junior school we did a production of The Wizard of Oz My dad drew and painted the scenery ( a beautiful backdrop of the yellow brick road with the house on top of the WW of the East with her feet sticking out and the Emerald City in the distance) he also made part of the costumes for those of us who were playing the residents of Oz These massive round glasses made of wood and painted green with pipe cleaners to put round our ears. The templates are still in the shed forty years later. He also designed and built the kitchen from scratch from planing the wood to fitting it in the kitchen Beautiful cabinets including stained glass doors. I so so wish id told him how talented i thought he was!

I lost my dad two years ago nearly to the day.
At a few weeks you will still be crying almost every day. I used to wake up and immediately start crying, every day.
I remember it being extremely hard to even function.
It's recently been the anniversary of his death and I did cry. But I don't cry every day now. Nor even every month..
Most days I think of him and wish he were here to see his new grandchild. But it's not as sharp and despiring. It's just a quiet sadness now.
I really feel for you. It's a very hard time in your life. Be kind to yourself. And know it will get easier to function. You won't ever forget him and there will always be a part of you that's sad. But you'll come to a place where the pain doesn't bother you.

my parents had a Seekers album which included this song.

Emerald City.

Lyrics
Take me to the Emerald City
Down yellow brick roads fast I run
Scarecrow friends will dance beside me
Tin toy brothers, bright as sun
Take me to the Emerald City
Wizards will give us lemonade
It's a land of pleasures pretty
Ruby roses never fade
Children gather fragile flowers
Stars will sing a lullaby
You're an angel, fly forever
Living life behind the sky
Take me to the Emerald City
Wizards will give us lemonade
It's a land of pleasures pretty
Ruby roses never fade
Rain, it falls like tinsel teardrops
Rivers flow through jungles tall
Witches watch through magic mirrors
Frost and fog covers crystal balls
Take me to the Emerald City
Wizards will give us lemonade
It's a land of pleasures pretty
Ruby roses never fade
It's a land of pleasures pretty
Ruby roses never fade

https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-d&q=the+seekers+emerald+city#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:22afb34c,vid:0fBGdrAtCMU,st:0&wptab=si:ACC90nzcg09uT9dLCxMVYtMO0-0pjgQ_JR12fuxEIIyv63Ip94qTV1AYapsQRC_0ZtNEAZoYaKi9iJ0mYpfdgmvazs_tS4qNHq37ex8w3p5zScralnLlEEG2pbK441gN6pl_bmtxvbyRUlUdjwxnwn0SCU-VLxZ3AKO914S-5xmMnG_XraKJRM4%3D

Thank you all - I am so sorry some of you are in the same position. For a second when I wake up I forget he has died. Then it hits me

How proud your Dad must have been to do that for your show and to keep them for all those years! He sounds like such a wonderful man 💚

Thank You