Well, Fathers Day can eff right off

[Emmeline1894]

Anyone else?! Dad died recently, I miss him terribly, and I’m finding myself cringeing at Fathers Day displays in shops. Anyone want to join me in steadfastly ignoring Fathers Day?

@NooNakedJacuzziness sorry for your loss. You’re not alone

Lost my DF 25 years ago, never thought about Father's Day since then. Nothing affected me in the shops / TV adverts etc.. until we had DCs I love helping them make DHs day special but the loss of my own DF has come back so badly, I'm very tearful the whole day. Hugs to all of Us

@dontstopwontstop hugs to you too - grief is a funny thing, I understand it absolutely can and does still hit you many years on. Hope the day goes ok

That is an amazing and positive idea.

My dad died in late 2021. That year I’d got him a card which I gave him when he visited (he lived a few hours away from me) a few days later he called me absolutely panicked had he left the card at my house as he wanted it as it was so special to him , said he had looked everywhere. 3 days later he called again to say he hadn’t stopped looking and finally found it and he sounded so happy, it was unusual as he always was happy receiving cards but not that into them so i thought it was a little different to usual. He seemed to just absolutely treasure that card. He died about 8 weeks later. But nobody could find the card at his flat and I wish I’d been able to keep it as it meant so much to him I can’t even find an image of it online which makes me really sad for some reason as I don’t exactly remember it

DP died four years ago. DD has SN and is really struggling. She finds it really hard to talk about him. I try to keep her away from shops where she might see cards. She is convinced she is the only person in the world without a Dad. Luckily she is not a big TV fan so doesn't really see adverts.

We lost my my Mum , Dad and DP within 9 months of each other. I actually find things like their birthdays more difficult than the "commercial" days but it can hit you at really strange times. Sometimes I think I would love to tell Dad something and then realise I can't.

Thanks for posting this, it makes me feel less alone. Dad became unwell so quickly and died just over a week ago with the funeral next week.

i miss him so much and waver between devastation and disbelief. I don’t know whether to hate all the cards or buy one because it doesn’t feel real that my lovely, strong dad is gone.

I lost my mum 5 years ago and Dad last year the only reason I’m even celebrating it is it’s my husbands first as a daddy!!

Definitely stay off social media and be prepared for people to make it a “thing” and message you….. my first Mother’s Day with Mum loads of people message me me “sending love/thinking of you” etc etc and it really upset as I’d steadfastly ignore it all and didn’t even want to acknowledge it!!

I'm with you. Lost my dad in November last year due to cancer and every time I get an email telling me I can order something for Father's Day I mutter 'fuck off'. The kicker today was getting one from the company I ordered a memorial rose from

You are all making me feel less alone, thank you. Hope the thread stays up on Sunday for anyone feeling like some of us do.

My Dad was amazing, hilarious and vibrant and I want to remember him like that. I was so lucky to have him. His death however was unexpected, awful and traumatic- you wouldn’t let a dog suffer how he did. We got the double whammy of sudden illness from being fully functional, still working etc (stroke)combined with months of hospital suffering. But his life was much much more than this. He did so much for us, I miss him every day.

Your Dad sounds lovely!

I lost mine pretty quickly last summer he hung on to see his first grandchild then made up his mind to pass away in my Mum’s anniversary so I only had to think of it once and bloody well managed it the sod!!

We’ve just moved into his house by the seaside which is bringing up all kinds of emotions even though I know we’re super lucky to have this opportunity I’m bloody angry he isn’t here to celebrate our little girls first birthday next month!!

Mine died 16 days after being diagnosed with cancer - I've never known anything like it. At least he didn't have time to suffer too much.

@JollyHostess101 thank you he was lovely . My favourite person really, even a trip to a garden centre or local pub was always brilliant. I nipped to the pub with him ‘for one’ on my birthday last year - 6 hrs later we tottered home after it turned out half the regulars knew him of old. Very glad I did, he never really took time out unless a special day. Always working.

I don’t want to work at all anymore A life is too short

DF died nearly 10 years ago now and it still upsets me when I see fathers day cards that I don't have to buy dad a card nowadays. Miss him. 💔

@NooNakedJacuzziness im sorry, that’s absolutely brutal. It changes your whole view on life. Am so sorry you went through that with your Dad.

This is so sweet, albeit bittersweet I’m sure. OP your dad sounds so lovely, as do so many others. It’s my fourth (!) one without my precious Dad and it still makes me want to scream. The first year we did nothing. The second year we tried to do “what dad would have done” (BBQ at family home) which was a terrible idea, we cried the whole time. Last year we decided we would do a meal out on a day near Father’s Day but not actually on the day so we could celebrate my husband, who is an amazing dad and who my dad dearly respected as a dad. That was lovely and is what we’re doing this year. It’s so so difficult to get it right. My children rightfully want to celebrate and my husband really deserves it but it just stings. My dad was at the heart of our family, so full of love and the whole he has left is massive. Sending hugs and strength to you all. I hope the dads are smiling down on us knowing how amazing they were.

Love to you too @Emmeline1894 - thanks for starting this thread

Thanks for this thread. I lost my Dad five years ago on Sunday - which was also Father’s Day so I’ve found it a difficult day since. I like the idea of it being a day to remember how wonderful he was. But I am five years on and for those of you whose dads died so recently I can relate to it just feeling like a kick when you are down.

@bluesnoopy I’m sorry you never found the card again but I hope the fact your Dad did and it gave him joy is of some comfort. How wonderful it gave him such joy and happiness.

@LoreleiG thank you for this. I’m now designating it the official day to remember (if we want to) how wonderful our Dads were, of course we all remember this every day and don’t need a reminder. But I will try to look at the commercial crap and think of this - a moment to smile. I had the best Dad ever and I was so lucky.

Oh @bringmelaughter i just re read and saw how raw this is for you. I’m so sorry for your loss. Buy the card if it helps. My niece still texts her Grandad most days - it helps her. I hope the funeral goes as well as these things can. You’re not alone and I promise it won’t always feel like this.

@Emmeline1894 I'm so sorry for you loss, your dad sounds lovely and the way you speak of him reminds me of mine. I got off a tube today after work, like I have for the last decade or so, and it hit me again that I'm never going to see my dad again. I keep expecting him to come home and be the man he used to be. He wasn't perfect, but he was my rock

@TotoroIsMyNeighbour thank you. I get that too, sometimes when looking at the garden (a state, he looked after it), the windows (similar state), filling my car windscreen wash. Like it’s not that I mind doing these things (am an adult after all) it’s just it’s not temporary or by choice, it’s final. Mostly though it belts me in the face when I think of all the things he won’t see - his grandkids growing up, his flowers blooming. Proper smack in the face several times a day.

It’s mostly at home. The bloody card stands have just introduced it when I’m out and off guard. Grief bombs.

Yes, my Dad died 14 years ago. I still find it hard seeing Father's Day stuff. My DD has lost her Dad also, so it's ignored completely in this house

I didn’t do all the heavenly birthday stuff you see on social media but my dad took a 70th birthday card and left it where my Mum’s ashes are and sent me a photo I was properly big ugly crying in the gym so buy one if you want to- we popped in his coffin the thank you card we made him from our little girl for buying her pram so it could go with him!!