I'm a few years now post bereavement but still have excruciatingly painful days where something triggers grief and loss and I feel overwhelmed with bleakness that I will never see them again.
The rawness of initial grief has eased as people said it would but its not better in the sense of feeling ok when it comes or even tolerable when it comes. Is this it now for life?
I'm going to have this forever aren't I until I die? that periodically I will be overcome with these agonising waves of deep deep pain.
I know what they say grief is the price you pay for love and the bigger the love etc. but it's that searing painful bleakness. [Trigger warning] at its worse it makes me want to die whats the point of life without them? I know it will pass but in the dark of the night or int he middle of a bad episode of resurfaced grief the pain is so so severe.
I don't want this pain forever. Am I stuck with this now? I guess so...