My Dad died today

[Nishky32]

I feel like I don’t want to go bed, because this morning he was alive.

He was 86, we had known since July he was terminally ill and since midweek we have known it was imminent. However it is still deeply shocking isn’t it?

It really is. I get it, I lost my Dad last Friday. I am so sorry OP.😔

@Trifleguzzler I am so sorry for your loss, thank you for your kindness in responding

Am so sorry for your loss.

Totally get that. My dad died five years ago. The day he died I stayed awake until midnight. I wanted to see out his final day on earth. I listened to his favourite music. I wanted to connect with him. And took a screenshot as it turned 00:00.

Do what works for you. Time alone. On here. Watching tv. Laying in bed. Or a bit of everything. Thinking of you xx

Get some rest if you can. I found mornings hard at first as you would forget then remember again. I found sleep was the best thing though.

@ChristmasLightsLover that’s so moving, thank you- I will stay up - you have expressed what I am feeling so well.

So sorry for your loss. My dad passed away in June. It was expected and we were with him, but it's so hard.
Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to remember him, when you're ready. I still can't look at photos of my dad, but I do think of him all the time.

It is.
I'm so very sorry for your loss and I understand how you feel. I get that you don’t want to go to bed and wake up to a new reality. It is awful at first, waking and then remembering, it’s horrible. Please be kind to yourself this is an horrendous wrench. There will be a time I promise you that you will look back and smile, you will even laugh but now is not that time. Lean on those who love you, put one foot in front of the other. Cry, scream, go with your flow. My mum told me many years ago that the price we pay for love is grief and she was right. Sending you a big hug. X

@Helbelle75 Sorry for your loss. I am staying with my Mum and she suddenly said that she keeps looking at his chair and it hits her that he will never sit in it again- I had been doing the exact same thing

@Lovepeaceunderstanding thank you so much for your lovely post

@Trifleguzzler , I’m so very sorry for your loss.

@Helbelle75 , I’m very sorry for your loss.

I'm so sorry for your loss, I lost my dad in 2021 and still haven't completely come to terms with it. Most recently was when my car died and I had to use some of the money he'd left me to buy another one. I sat and sobbed and warned my husband that what I was thinking was crazy but I felt that, if I didn't spend any of the money, he might still come back and ask for it back!

@HoobleDooble sorry for your loss. I can totally understand how that made you feel.

So sorry for your loss.
I lost my Dad 8 years ago this week. I know how you feel, OP. That year I found NYE really hard as I didn't want to celebrate the start of a year that my Dad wouldn't be alive in.

@DrMadelineMaxwell sorry for your loss, I must admit I hadn’t thought about NYE
My Mother in law died in August so we know Christmas will be tough this year, but yes we will have to think about what to do in NYE

I am so sorry , my beloved dad has been gone 6 years and i still can't quite believe he's really gone.
You won't be able to see this yet but it does get easier in time and you do remember them with smiles ,even laughter sometimes.
Take care of yourself and the people that matter for now ,you will hold each other up.

@tsmainsqueeze thank you and sorry for your loss

Oh, @Nishky32, your words really echo with me.
There's all the time in the world to process this.
Maybe go to bed and read? Then if you're ready to nod off, you can. There will be other days to mark. This is all so new for you that no-one can say what is right or wrong.
If your mum wants it, and you do too, maybe this would be a good night to sleep together? (Sorry if that sounds weird, but often hearing the breathing of another person is relaxing and soothing.)
I'm sorry for your loss.

@vipersnest1 thank you so much, that is such a lovely post

Im so sorry for your loss OP. January will be 4 years since my beloved Dad passed and still, not a day goes by that I dont think of him. I keep his photo on my shelf, I still say good morning and goodnight, and speak to him in passing. For some reason it makes me feel better. Im glad he was here, and I was lucky enough to have a Dad like him, and I have treasured memories. Although there are gaps in my memory as I suppose I dont want to go over it all in detail. Not yet.

I hope you feel better soon. As others have said it really does get better with time. I found Mumsnet a good place to talk.

@DeeCeeCherry thank you and sorry for your loss

So sorry op. My dad died in August and I don't think k it's sunk in yet even now. It's very hard even if you were expecting it.

I'm so sorry OP

@purpleme12 thank you

@AnneElliott sorry for your loss

Thank you all for your kindness-I am going to try and get some sleep

Sorry for your loss.
I got a phone call on a Saturday morning at somewhere round 10 am, telling me I needed to go to hospital to see my dad because he had deteriorated. He died that day at 3.15pm.
The next weekend I was up and out if the house before 10am so that I wouldn't be called again.
I was not particularly close to either of my parents, but my dad's death hit me harder. It's been 18 years and to be able to remember the exact time he died, because I was there, affects me more than watching my mother die forv5 years due to motor neurone disease.
Logic doesn't apply when it comes to reactions to death. And in my opinion logic can go fuck itself.