My Dad died today

[Nishky32]

I feel like I don’t want to go bed, because this morning he was alive.

He was 86, we had known since July he was terminally ill and since midweek we have known it was imminent. However it is still deeply shocking isn’t it?

@Nishky32 I am so sorry. My passed away suddenly last year. I was on an unusual night shift, came home to a flat flooded from upstairs, sorted it and went to bed at 6pm. . I woke up around 12pm put on hair mask and face mask. Look at a text from my dad saying my mum was I hospital with a chest infection but all would be ok. Talked to them all fine.

Went about my day. Flat above came to assess damage. I got call from consultant in hospital and all was not ok. Mum critical ill and to be put in coma. Told to phone mum as may not speak to her in weeks. Coma didn’t work and she died. I got to see in FaceTime.

moving forward. Took 4 weeks off work. Came back too soon. Ad I hadn’t processed and changed my life.

my advice. It’s shit can’t say anything else. Be selfish for a few months and recover only take the time you need to get back to normal.

I am 10 months later returning to me. Quite a few of not being able to. Time taken to be kind to me. Don’t rush. It’s shit.

@topgirlalways I am so sorry for your loss, that sounds so traumatic, thank you for posting and giving advice

@Caswallonthefox sorry just seen your post as it had on a page - so sorry for your loss- I agree it is a trauma and you have to just accept your own reaction to the trauma whatever that may be

I'm so sorry. My mother died yesterday afternoon, so I understand some of what you are feeling.

Although she had been very ill for some time and was not unexpected, it's still a shock - and I also hate the thought of her being on her own somewhere. Although it took forever to get the certificates done and I hated the thought of her just lying there waiting as well (she is donating to research so the wait was extra stressful).

I'm finding it easier now to remember happier times and focusing on supporting my dad. The last few weeks have been so awful.

I'm shocked I'm holding it together well - and worried it will just hit me suddenly. My DH is abroad and so am trying to hold things together for DD here and my dad and siblings.

Big hugs x

@OhCrumbsWhereNow oh I’m so sorry - it must be extra hard with your dh away. I understand what you say with the shock- we knew it was happening for a long time and knew this week it was imminent but it still feels so so shocking.

I am so truly sorry for your loss Xxx

I’m so sorry, I know exactly how you feel. My dad died suddenly in my arms after a big heart attack in July one minute he was here and then he was gone and to say I felt like I was drowning for weeks was an understatement. Time has passed for me now but it still takes my breath sometimes. I look at it as honouring my dad when I’m having a good cry because that’s how important he was to me and if I have to have a night on the sofa crying I’ll do that in honour of my dad because that’s all the love that I can’t give him ❤️ thinking of you x

I'm so sorry OP. It doesn't matter if you know its coming. It will always be a shock. The sudden absence of them can be overwhelming. Its been fourteen years since we lost my dad. We knew it was coming as he chose to go (he asked to withdraw all meds) It doesn't stop the feeling of disbelief. No. That's my dad. He can't be gone. He's my DAD.
Sometimes he's in my dreams, which can be both comforting, and upsetting. But I'm always glad of it because my brain seems to be able to piece him together when I'm asleep even though my memories are fading.
It can take a long time to process it, or it can be quick. It was quick for me I guess, but I had a new baby and a toddler to distract me. Be kind to yourself. Let yourself cry and think about it. The shock will lesson with time x

(((HUG)))

I'm so sorry xx

losing someone suddenly & losing someone when you know it's coming are very different experiences, but both very hard.

it never stops hurting, but it does stop being so raw & you learn to live with the pain & loss. I can't think about my Dad without crying.

sending you lots of love & hugs.

I’m sorry for your loss.

Thank you all for your lovely messages and for those sharing their experiences it really means a lot- so sorry for your losses

I hope you're doing ok, @Nishky32. (I think that's all you can expect for now - just keep looking after yourself - the rest will come in time.)

@vipersnest1 thank you- I am ok- just sorting all the admin today. Feel a bit exhausted and overwhelmed