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Original poster

My lovely husband died today. He was 31.

276 replies

gillybean89 · 01/01/2023 20:18

My sweet, kind, wonderful husband died this morning. He was on his way to meet me and our children and was involved in a car accident. He was 31 and we have 2 DC aged 5 and 2. I am broken and lost and don't know where we go from here. He was my best friend in the whole world, my rock, my voice of reason, and the best dad I could have wished for for our children. Life is so cruel.

OP posts:
Workinghardeveryday · 01/01/2023 23:41

I am so sorry, really I am xxx

Milkand2sugarsplease · 01/01/2023 23:43

I'm so sorry for you and your children. What a complete shock for you all.

I was 5 when I lost my dad. It's a tough age. I got that he had gone but didn't get where or why.

Tell them about him every single day. Remember little things he'd do with them and tell them.... let them grow up knowing how loved they were by him and how good a daddy he was. I didn't have that - it was a different time and dads weren't as active in children's lives then but id give anything now to know more about him as a person and as my dad.xxxx

byebye2022 · 01/01/2023 23:44

I'm so sorry to read this. Hugs for you, and the children and family x

fairydust11 · 01/01/2023 23:45

So sorry for your loss 💐 x

dancinfeet · 01/01/2023 23:48

so sorry for your loss, how utterly devastating. my thoughts are with you and your family xx

SkylightSkylight · 01/01/2023 23:50

Oh My God, what a terrible, terrible shock.

(((HUG)))

Life is incredibly unfair. Good men like your DH shouldn't die, it just shouldn't happen.

The shock of someone dying suddenly, especially so young, knocks you sideways on top of the actual dying. Having to go & identify him must have been terrible for you, but in time you'll be reassured by it.

when I read your post I felt like I'd been kicked by a Donkey in my stomach all over again. I wanted to take that feeling away for you.

definitely tell people what you need, whether that's practically or emotionally.

look after yourself, keep hydrated and nibble on bits, even if you don't feel hungry. Feeling sick through not eating & drinking doesn't help you.

let people take the kids to play or to the park, trusted family/friends. You don't have to do it all alone xx

buttermut · 01/01/2023 23:51

I am so so sorry for your tragic loss OPFlowers

vipersnest1 · 01/01/2023 23:51

@gillybean89, I'm so sorry. I can't begin to put myself in your place but know you must be in unimaginable pain just now. FlowersI've left some space between this part of my post and the rest, because it might be too soon for you to read it. I've left it there for when you are ready and able to think about the practicalities moving forward.

Some practicalities that might help over the coming days:
First and foremost: however you are feeling right now, you need to look after your physical body. Try to eat, drink and sleep regularly.
If you work, tell your employers that you will be taking time off. Your GP will sign you off for whatever period of time you need.
If you need help with sleeping (which is understandable) ask your GP about that too.
Do you have people who can be there for you when you want them?
Are you ok to deal with DC or do you need some help?
The above two will help deal with the day to day things, plus give you some help and support where you need it.
You might not know what you want just now - that's ok, but it's a thought worth thinking about when you have the energy. But if you feel you want and need help, don't be afraid to ask for it.
Have a think about what you need in terms of shopping etc. if you feel you aren't up to that yet, again, ask for help.
You will see the coroner at some point and they will tell you about the service Tell Us Once. It means that several bodies are notified without you needing to do anything. It's advisable to get several copies of the death certificate as you will need certified copies for banks, mortgage brokers etc.
Let your DCs school(s) know as they will be able to access support.

Most of all, look after yourself. It's easy to lose sight of that in the depths of grief, but it is something you need to do so you can continue to function.

I'm very sorry you find yourself in the position you are, and am pretty certain you are feeling like life is unreal at the moment.
It will be alright, but not just yet. Flowers

miniworry · 02/01/2023 00:10

Sending so much love and strength to you ❤️

ItsJustASimpleLine · 02/01/2023 07:54

So sorry for your loss x

Roselilly36 · 02/01/2023 08:10

So sorry for your loss OP Flowers just take it one day at a time, no rush to do anything. Pleased you have family around to help care for you and your children, let them help you don’t have to do this alone.

Winniewoooooooo · 02/01/2023 08:11

So so extremely sorry for your loss. Xx

Whatmarbles · 02/01/2023 08:56

My heart goes out to you all, so tragic.

JustKeepSwimming2023 · 02/01/2023 09:22

I am so so sorry 😔. Sending lots of love to you and your DC ♥

nellyelloe · 02/01/2023 11:09

I'm so sorry xx

stockpilingallthecheese · 02/01/2023 11:14

No words are enough, just so tragic and I'm so unbelievably sorry for your loss Flowers

frostyfours · 02/01/2023 11:22

I'm so sorry x

FoxNet · 02/01/2023 13:32

I'm so sorry. He sounds like a wonderful man. My husband died at the end of November. He was also in his 30s, thought it was expected due to cancer, it was still sudden and shocking. I'd recommend joining Widowed and Young.

Parroteets · 02/01/2023 13:53

So sorry for your loss, it's so tragic and sad. I imagine you're still in shock.

Did you manage to get any sleep at all?

I hope you have plenty of help and support around you especially as your Dd & Ds are so young. Take all of the help that you need and lean on family and friends💐

Zoflorabore · 02/01/2023 15:16

I’m so very sorry for your loss op. We are only down the road and travel that route often picking up and dropping off ds who is at EHU. I hope you managed a bit of sleep and are able to eat and drink something small to keep your strength up.
your 2 beautiful babies will keep you going even when you won’t want to. Pls take it minute by minute, hour by hour, there is no right or wrong way to do anything right now.
life is bloody cruel that’s for sure. You will always have someone on here any time of the day or night to talk to. Sending you so much love 💕

goingincognito1 · 02/01/2023 15:17

Im really sorry Flowers

golddustwomen · 02/01/2023 15:21

I am so so sorry op, sending love to you and your children x

onmywayamarillo · 02/01/2023 16:33

I'm so sorry what an awful time for you and your family xxxx
Lots of hugs and love sent your way.

Speckmac · 02/01/2023 20:02

I am very sorry for your loss. My husband died suddenly as a result of a road traffic accident nearly 3 years ago so I know exactly what you are going through. You are in shock at the moment and will be for some time. There is a charity called Roadpeace which I would recommend, they can provide different types of support and they helped me and in fact still do. If you would like to talk to me for advice or support, either now or in the future, please feel free to contact me.

Triphazard22 · 02/01/2023 20:03

I'm so sorry for your loss and the devastation you and your children are going through.

Sending love and sincere condolences. x

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