Need A Hand Hold - DS18 in ICU **Trigger warning**

[JungleZgok]

Just over 18 years ago, when I was in early labour with my wonderful DS I posted on Mumsnet until I went to the hospital (have name changed since then but was a regular poster). I had lots of encouraging posts from lovely mumsnetters and it was so helpful.

Now my DS is in ICU in a critical condition. I have been up nearly all night. My heart is breaking and I have never known grief like this. DS has been suffering from anxiety and depression and has been on meds over the last 7 weeks and having therapy and visits from the Adult Mental Health service but yesterday evening he decided he couldn't face it anymore.

He is such a sweet boy who always thinks of others. We have a great family and he has been talking to his older and younger sister. He has been talking to both me and DH and we have done everything we can to help him and keep him safe. But it hasn't worked.

I want to understand why this has happened and answers and reassurance that he is going to pull through but it is not looking that good. I can't cope. I feel like a shell and have never cried so much or been sick and to the toilet so much. I can't sleep.

Please be kind. I am not feeling that strong at the moment.

Am so incredibly sorry for all the grief and pain that your family are going through right now.

My DC is a similar age to your son.
Over the past couple of years they have known a few people attempting suicide and some that have succeeded.
It just feels so senseless to those left behind.

Regularly on my way to work I pass a bridge where one of these young person took their life. I cry every time I drive past for the loss of their life, for their family and friends because the underside of the bridge is covered with graffiti messages of love for this young person.

Your son won’t ever be forgotten. Although he may not have been aware due to his inner turmoil and pain, he has left his mark on this world.

He will leave this world knowing how much he is loved, just as he did when he first entered it.

Just wanted to send so much love and hugs I can't say anything that can make this better but I just wanted you to know how many ppl are thinking of you.

Holding you all tight in my heart today.

I'm so sorry you and your family are going through this horrendous pain god bless you and your beautiful boy 🙏🏻

I'm so sorry you and your family are going through this horrendous pain god bless you and your beautiful boy 🙏🏻

So sorry to hear what you are going through

So sorry to hear this OP. Nothing we say can make anything better - hoping for a miracle for you, and also hope you have support in real life whichever way things go.

I cannot imagine how you feel today, OP, nor anyone who has had to go through what you're facing.

Perhaps, when you can bear to, you'd nominate a mental health charity that, I'm sure, many of us who've read your posts would make a donation to as a small way to show solidarity to a family going through a truly devastating experience x

I'm so sorry you're going through this. You and your family sound like you're amazing though. Will be thinking of you all today.

I am here, holding your hand x

I'm so sorry. Thinking of you and your beloved son today. xx

I'm so sorry to hear of the unimaginable suffering you are going through.

When someone takes their own life, it can be easy to focus on the last hours, the last days, the last weeks and wonder if anything could have been done differently. However, when I speak with families who are facing this, some say the more important thing is to remember that in the face of such overwhelming mental health challenges, everything you did, everything you said, all the love you showed over all the years - those were the things that made your son's life bearable for so long, and enabled him to live until now.

I'm so sorry to read your update. Thinking of you.

I'm so sorry none of you should have to be going through this.

I can't offer anything but words but I hope that you know,that all of you know that behind my words and behind the words that others have shared with you there is a multitude of arms wrapped around you all.xx

I'm so very sorry,your beautiful son sounds like a very loving and kind young man.xx

Prayers for you and your family 🙏

Your family sound amazing and your daughter is so brave. Your love for your son shines through so much in your posts.
Thinking of and praying for you and your family today.

I'm so sorry you are in this situation and I will hold your family in my thoughts xx

I’m so sorry to read this. 🫂

I have been thinking of you all morning and will hold you tight in my thought all day, like so many others on here. We are all here for you, thinking, praying, hoping. There is not much else to say, but please know that this huge virtual community from all over the world is right with you. Xx

So very sorry for what you are going through and that you have to say goodbye to your beloved child.

you and your family are in my thoughts ❤️

I’m so sorry ❤️

You and your beautiful boy have been with me since I read your post yesterday, You will be with me in my heart and mind today, tomorrow and for a long long time to come.

Not religious, but I'm praying for a miracle for you today.