Need A Hand Hold - DS18 in ICU **Trigger warning**

[JungleZgok]

Just over 18 years ago, when I was in early labour with my wonderful DS I posted on Mumsnet until I went to the hospital (have name changed since then but was a regular poster). I had lots of encouraging posts from lovely mumsnetters and it was so helpful.

Now my DS is in ICU in a critical condition. I have been up nearly all night. My heart is breaking and I have never known grief like this. DS has been suffering from anxiety and depression and has been on meds over the last 7 weeks and having therapy and visits from the Adult Mental Health service but yesterday evening he decided he couldn't face it anymore.

He is such a sweet boy who always thinks of others. We have a great family and he has been talking to his older and younger sister. He has been talking to both me and DH and we have done everything we can to help him and keep him safe. But it hasn't worked.

I want to understand why this has happened and answers and reassurance that he is going to pull through but it is not looking that good. I can't cope. I feel like a shell and have never cried so much or been sick and to the toilet so much. I can't sleep.

Please be kind. I am not feeling that strong at the moment.

I’m so very very sorry. You sound like a wonderful mum and your DS sounds amazing x

Holding you and your beautiful boy in prayer.

Stay with him for as long as you need to. He'll know you're there even if he can't let you know he knows.

I’m so sorry. I’m praying for a miracle for your son.

I’m so so sorry. You are a lovely mum , your love shines through. He knows he is loved and cared for. Praying for a miracle for you xx

I am utterly heartbroken for you.

So sorry, op. Hoping for a miracle tonight x

I'm so sorry to read your update
Keep talking to him, touch him, lie with him
There is still hope xxx

I’m so sorry to read your update. Thinking of you and your family.

Oh OP.
That's beyond awful.

Empty words are not enough.

Life is not fair.

Not fair at all.

At least you are with him.

Unbearable.

I’m so heartbroken for you. Thinking of you and your family and praying for a miracle.

I am glad that MN was here to hold your hand when you brought him into the world and that there is a legion of us holding your hand while you endure your anguish.

I'm very sorry that you have this need.

Thinking of you Op.

I'm so sorry OP. Sending you and your wonderful boy all the strength in the world ❤

I am so very very sorry 💐

I’m so sorry. We’re all carrying you now as well. Please talk to him now and let go n know you’re there with him and always have been. Tell him how loved he is. Remind him of happy moments in his life. I hope you and your lovely DS find peace.

Heartbroken to read your update. Sending you love and strength x

So so so sorry OP. Stay with your son, pray with him if that’s your thing, and even though he can’t show it he will feel your presence as he passes to eternal peace and know he is loved. Heartbreaking news.

I am so so sorry. I have no words.

I am so very sorry to read this.

Don’t know what to say. My thoughts and prayers are with your DS and your family tonight.

🌹

Oh OP I'm so sorry 💔 xx

I'm so glad you're able to be there with him Op

You sound like a wonderful mother who has brought up a wonderful son. People always assume girls are more sensitive but as a mother of three boys all of them have had anxiety and depression issues. It seems to be the way of the world now. They have more or less got over their issues now they are older but I was worried sick for a while that one of them would try and harm themselves and there is only so much you can do to prevent it. I am sending you love and prayers and to your boy xx

I'm so sorry OP. You DS sounds like such a sensitive soul, too good for this cruel world. Hoping for a miracle.