I am going to lose Mum soon, next few hours

[marmitecake]

I've never really been someone to start posts and have been on MN for ten years but tonight I need to reach out. I'm with my beloved DM in her nursing home and she has only a little time left, maybe a few hours. She's so young really - in my eyes, just 78. I knew it was coming as she's been so ill, in and out of hospital for three years, but not so soon. I just don't know how I'm going to get over this as well as support my two teenagers and my DF in their grief. We've had such a close relationship over the years and she's such a fantastic mum and grandma. How on earth do you move on.

Thank you for all the kind supportive messages. I did go home to sleep and have not had a call saying the worst and have confirmation this morning that she is still with us, despite them saying "a few hours" and the GP and paramedics on Thursday saying "2 or 3 days". Waiting for a proper medical update from the nursing team. We are all going again later today. I have read all the messages and so appreciative. I've never used MN in this way before (just a reader and occasional commenter) and it's been tremendously helpful.

Glad she's okay OP. I hope the sun is shining with you today. Thinking of you

I’m so sorry you are all going through this💐

We are on day 6 after losing Dad. It was sudden and hard and my brain couldn’t quite accept it for a bit but it does now. We have been carried along by the most incredible support and kindness of people, I have been totally blown away.

@JugglingJanuary

This might be hard to hear, but very often people wait until they're alone to go. It can be a kindness to give them the space to do that, but it's incredibly hard.

I'm heartbroken for you, it really is so hard xxx

This is really true, and important to know. Please don't feel bad if she goes when you're not there - some people seem to choose to do this. I am an HCP and have seen it many times.

Sending you big hugs, OP - it's so, so hard, but you will get through it. Try not to look too far ahead at the moment.

Not for now, but perhaps for later if you are a reader, I found this book to be of some help in processing grief
www.amazon.co.uk/Option-Adversity-Building-Resilience-Finding/dp/0753548275?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Thinking of you 💐

Sending love x

Thinking of you, I've been there too and send you my love xxxxx

Thinking about you OP x

I'm so very sorry to read this. In answer to your question, you never get over losing your mum but you do get used to it and you remember all the good times.

Sending love and hugs. xx

@Reallycantbesarsed

Thank you for everything you and other staff do. I, like others, couldn't be with my mum when she died in 2020. We were waiting for about 4 days and it was comforting to know that somebody hopefully from the staff was with her. I posted on here under a different name at the time and I'll never forget the kindness of the posters who talked to me that week.

OP, we're all still here for you. Your mum sounds fabulous. Thank you for sharing her with us.

Have been thinking of you today which may sound strange considering I don't know you but I hope you can take comfort in knowing that you're in the thoughts of others. Sending you strength to get through this.

Sending you and Mum so much love

My darling Mum left us this evening, very peacefully. I'm so grateful she is no longer suffering. I have a faith and believe she is with God and that brings me great joy. We weren't with her when she went but we had been earlier, all of us, and we chatted and told her how much we loved her. My DS is struggling, my DD is just quiet. I never knew it could be quite so painful but I'm trying to turn that into something positive, remembering the amazing life she led. I can't tell you how much these messages have meant to me. Eternally grateful. x

I'm so sorry for your loss, marmitecake. I am glad you and your family had quality time with your mum before she passed. I am sure she will have known she was surrounded by love and peacefulness. She sounds like a really wonderful woman and mum and grandmother.

I am thinking of you and your family and sending love.

Marmite, heartfelt sympathy for you and yours tonight. Your mum must have been an incredible woman.

I’m so sorry to hear of your impending loss, moving on isn’t easy and I would say to take your time, be kind to yourself and slowly rebuild your life

I'm very sorry for your loss @marmitecake
💐

The initial few days are very surreal after a loss. You can't quite 'be' in the world.

I'm glad your mum passed away peacefully & hope your happy memories will console you.

So very sorry for your loss. Losing your mum hurts so badly. Don’t even think about moving on now. Just get through each day as best you can and let the grief take you where it will. It’s a hard road to travel. 💐

@marmitecake, you will always have those memories of your Mum in your heart. You can pass those on to your DC. I believe that as long as the memory lives on, the person hasn't disappeared forever.
I'm so sorry for you and that you find yourself in this horrible place:

I’m so sorry for your loss but glad your mum is at peace. Be kind to yourself.

Sad to hear this, but sounds like a good ending.
Hugs to you all xx

Very sorry for your loss.

So very sorry for your loss, be gentle to yourself xx