Handhold for sobsanta

[ArabellaScott]

The other thread was full, so this is for sobsanta - somewhere in case you want to post or people want to post support.

We are all thinking of you today, and sending love and .

I have a place in my house with a photo of my son. I keep all the sympathy cards and his memorial book there. I put flowers there and light a candle. I feel closest to him there. This was his home and full of memories. I am comforted seeing his happy, smiling face.
It is such early days for you sobsanta.
You will find your way.
.

@endofthelinefinally I have a place right beside the front door opposite the stairs with a large photo of her and a candle in a memorial glass to light. I feel closest to her at home. With her being a baby and then a pandemic, most of our lives were spent here. She would run out into the hall and feed the dog snacks at the bottom of the stairs just out of sight while I was cooking in the next room. She'd kick balls up and down the hallway. She was always busy in the living room and 'helping' in the kitchen. Our home is her life and I feel calm here, even if I'm heartbroken.

I understand that so well sobsanta.

That sounds like a lovely place to sit and think of Wyatt. Whatever gives you comfort, solace and calm is a good thing.

Sobsanta.. I would never ever tell you I know exactly how you feel but I was so so close to a little boy who I cared for who died when he was 2..I was devastated.. It was 16 years ago now..
About the cemetery.. first I used to go and just talk to him.. tell him that I was looking after his Mum and Dad and his little sister, tell him about my DCs antics. have a little tidy up. . (unfortunately I knew most of the babies and children buried there). Then when the weather got better , yes my DCs and I used to visit and have a small picnic..(all with his parents permission)
Don't go much now but I used to feel so close to him there..
I'm so sorry Sobsanta..

My friend just pitches a seat at her son's grave and tells him what's been going on, all the family stories etc.

But I don't think you have to go if you don't feel it helps. I find visiting graves very difficult so I tend not to; life is hard enough without putting you through more difficult days. If you feel close to Wyatt at home that's totally ok.

Hey @sobsanta just checking in to see how you are? We're all still thinking of you and your family and of course your beautiful Wyatt xx

I thought of you today @sobsanta when I read another bereaved mothers thread and I feel so sorry for you both and all bereaved parents. How are you, your dh and other children ?

@sobsanta just a message to say I have been thinking of you and Wyatt Rose today.

I don't have the perfect words, not even close, I suppose I just wanted to send you my love

@sobsanta Another one thinking of you and sending love.

@sobsanta hope you and your family are doing ok

Hi everyone. It's sobsanta (name changed)

I don't know if anyone reads here any more but it's august now. Wyatt was born on the 20th August 2018 and it seems to have just hit me that we've been 9 months without her smile now.

Tonight is a bad night. I can't stop crying. We should be planning her third birthday now but instead I'm thinking of what to put on her grave. I haven't visited her grave since her headstone went up two months ago. I feel closer to her at home where she lived and died.

We're all getting along fine. It catches me sometimes because things are absolutely not fine. DD1 celebrated her 13th birthday in June and days go by like they're all normal but they're not. Inside, every day I think about Wyatt and I feel selfish when I have other children to think about too.

I've had to snooze friends with similar aged children on social media. I've had episodes where I see a blonde toddler and start crying in the supermarket. All this grief that can't come out in any ways other than at random times. It's like I'm numb for weeks and can think of her fondly and one day something simple will be all too much.

I had to find this thread and update. Tonight is incredibly hard. I hope tomorrow will be brighter. I'd rather be numb again than feel this.

@naynayisay it's great of you to reach out in your darkest hours.
Wyatt is a light which shines in every child. I've squeezed my child for you: to send a bit of light your way, to help you on your journey.
You are holding the light and leading the way for you and your girls and you are doing a brilliant job at it.
Don't despair. It might feel a bit lonely but you are not alone. We can only walk in silence behind you but we are here witnessing you do your very best at the most difficult of times.

Hi @naynayisay thank you for updating the thread and I’m so sorry for your pain.

My birthday is also 20th august - I feel lucky to share it with Wyatt and will light an extra candle and think of her on the day.

Sending you love

In tears for you now.
Nothing I can say to make it better.
Just know there’s are thinking of you all.💐

I’m so sorry 😢
Sending love to you xx
Wishing you strength as Wyatt’s birthday approaches xxx

I am here and reading. I don't have the right words, I'm just so very sorry for your loss and wanted you to know I was listening, and will say a prayer for little Wyatt and your family on her birthday xx

Another person who is here and reading, I have no idea how you are getting through each day, im so so sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter, sending so much love your way tonight xx

I'm so sorry, nights are the worst I hope you manage to get some sleep.

I lost my youngest and I'm further down this path than you, but this next part for you is so tough, I'm sure you've heard that grief is like a ripple, intense at first and yet over time the waves become more spread out and peak less, I do agree with this but coming up to the first birthday or the anniversary I feel its like a boulder has been thrown in the lake and the waves are just as big and just as close together.

Sending you love and holding Wyatt in my thoughts.

Bless you and your little angel Wyatt. Sending you and your family love and strength 😘 x

Sending love and wishes to you @naynayisay

naynayisay - this is the first time I have read your story, and my heart aches for you and your family. I have no words, just the deepest compassion and aroha for you. Your darling little rosebud blooms still. Much love from the South Pacific. x

Sending unmumsnetty hugs 💐💐

Naynayisay, I have thought of you and your family often. Sending you strength, love & peace.🦋

Naynayisay I’m so sorry.
Please look after yourself; we are all thinking of you and your family. X