Support For Anyone After The Loss Of A Parent.

[Mummylin]

I hope this thread will be as supportive and welcoming as we have had in the past. It is so heartwarming to see the support you all give each other. Wishing you all well. 💐

Wow @CovidNightmare really feel for you I read your post and it made me cry your mum poor must of been scared bless her and poor you and her family it is so so wrong. Take comfort that she is at peace now x
My mums funeral was back in the first lockdown 5 people when she could of filled a football pitch it's all so shit for us all. I miss her every waking minute when I'm up breastfeeeding in the night I just sob quietly
grief really is hideous

I feel so much for you all.
We find our way somehow. Somehow.
I really do feel for you and @covidnightmare I know how plagued you will be by this. I am so sorry. I strongly believe your mum is reunited with your dad in heart essence/ soul essence. And from her perspective now she will know yiu were there and how you love her.
I hope she could draw on a deep strength while she was in hospital. It's so hard.
I am so, so, so sorry 🙏

I'm feeling utterly shit tonight.

But these words have helped

Left my friend's name on there.... whoops.

Sarah is a dear friend of mine who sent me these words. They are lovely.

It's my mum's birthday today.

We should have been celebrating her 66 years. Instead we're marking 6 weeks since she died.

It's feels so very unfair today. Whereever you are mum, we love you and miss you every second of everyday.

@Crunchymum, I remember with dad 6 years ago, first birthday, fathers day, Christmas was so hard. Parents are such a big part of these days they leave a huge gap. Do you have somewhere or a special place you can go to "visit" her, we had dad's ashes interred and a small stone, I would take some flowers there then drive down to our local harbour which he loved and I would just watch and listen to the waves and have a wee (Scottish small!) cry.

Went to mums house yesterday, opened the bag with her personal possessions from hospital, this was the second bag as items were missing from the first and we had to leave for 72hrs again before opening. Her watch and wedding ring were thankfully there, the nurses must have just put everything in the bag as in there was a notepad for the nurses to communicate with mum, messages telling her she was "unfortunately" covid positive, that they had to move her ward and she wasn't allowed to have the room door open. She hated the single rooms in hospital, preferred the wards as at least there was company and she could watch people moving about, and know the nurses were near if she needed them. Whenever she was in hospital and in a single room she would ask for the door to be wedged open so she could see and hear people in the corridor and didn't feel so alone. Feel so guilty and angry at myself today, how did we let this happen, we should have pushed harder, earlier, insisted we got in to see her, even though at the same time I know the hospital didn't have a choice. I don't blame the hospital, she went downhill more rapidly than expected, but how can you be angry at a bloody virus 😢

@mrssunshinexxx, only 5 at your mum's funeral must have been so tough, we are allowed 20 inside on Friday which allows for her 5 kids/partners, grandkids and her siblings, but no inlaws, friends or neighbours and only one from dad's family. Everyone has been really nice and understanding they can't go to the service and some have said they will be sitting outside in their cars watching on the Web link instead just to feel close.

Thinking of you today @Crunchymum.

@CovidNightmare it was me, dad my 2 sisters and her oldest friend at the last minute they let my husband in as I was just such a mess and very very heavily pregnant it was kind of them we weren't expecting them to bend the rules. Mum came for one last drive round the village which was my idea and we followed in the car and this was in May lock down and there were around 300-350'people stood all socially distanced through the village and the next 2 villages all down the roadside I'm crying typing this I will never forget when we turned the car up the village and saw all those people come to pay their respects especially at a time when people should of been keeping themselves really safe. I am so proud to be her daughter she rocked my world every time I look at my little baby girl I just feel all the emotions. Me and mum were unbelievably close and she would of loved her granddaughter so much

@mrssunshinexxx that sounds so nice the whole village came out for her. Village communities really do know how to do things right.

@Crunchymum I am thinking of you. Hand-holding.

Thanks, really need the support today.

I didn't expect to feel so awful today? I knew things like the month anniversary of her death and funeral day would be hard but I don't want her Birthday to be sad. I may bake a cake later? She loved cake and cake cheers everyone up !!!

Cake is always good. A celebration of your much-loved mum.

What was her favourite cake @Crunchymum could you make that?

Didn't have the ingredients for cake (lemon drizzle would have been her choice!)

So wine it is.

Have had a beautiful moonrise here so I've toasted my delightful mum and wished her a proper happy birthday.

She'd have liked that

She would @Crunchymum
I feel like I need this thread to go on forever

Glad to report that today has been a much better day. The sadness felt overwhelming and all consuming yesterday, today it is much more manageable.

Hope everyone is doing OK?

It's strange isn't it @Crunchymum how each day can be so different
On a bad bad day you think you'll never have a good one again

Can I ask those of you that have lost mums or dads do you think they will find another partner again one day?

@mrssunshinexxx

Its such early days for me, but hypothetically.... my dad is young (68) and i'd like to think we'd be supportive if he met someone else. As his kids, we can only give him so much, and why shouldn't he have companionship and love in his life?

My folks were married for 42 years, and together for several years before that. I don't think my poor dad would know how to woo anyone else? It's not something I expect to crop up any time soon, for us.

Is there a reason you ask?

@Crunchymum similar here my dad is 66 been with my mum 46 years but he does mention dating and moving on a lot he says he's so scared of being alone forever
I worry it will happen sooner than I would be ready for and I don't want to react in the wrong way but I would just find it so disrespectful it's just such a lot to consider, and deal with
Just airing my thoughts I guess x

Bless you, it must be hard hearing this!!

I think it's very positive he is so open with you though. I am guessing its still quite an abstract concept for him at the moment but I actually think it's reassuring to know that he wants to have company and love in his life? My main worry about my dad was that he won't be able to go on without my mum and he'll end up "joining her" (sorry that is so morbid, early indications show he is coping quite well but it was a major worry for me!)

Bless you, it must be hard hearing this!!

I think it's very positive he is so open with you though. I am guessing its still quite an abstract concept for him at the moment but I actually think it's reassuring to know that he wants to have company and love in his life? My main worry about my dad was that he won't be able to go on without my mum and he'll end up "joining her" (sorry that is so morbid, early indications show he is coping quite well)

@Crunchymum not morbid, also a very real possibility people do die of a broken heart but I am so pleased he is coping better than perhaps you anticipated.
I think sometimes he's abit too open with me but we are the closest by a mile out of my sisters so who else can he talk to
I say to him to be sensitive as it's hard fir me to hear this early I said I want you to be happy again one day and have a companion but we haven't dealt with her headstone or ashes it hasn't even been a year I know he's only mentioning it but I was quite firm maybe I was wrong.
I said you will likely have another partner one day and be relatively happy again , I will never have another mum and I am in my twenties and my baby will never get another grandma
Every time that realisation hits I cry and cry sorry to be so moany

Well, Mum was supposed to be 70 today. I don’t know what to think. Or feel. I’ve taken the day off work and I’m going for a walk with a good friend.

@MinnieMountain I think that sounds as good as plan as possible

@MinnieMountain

Having done my mum's Birthday on Monday, all I can say is think and feel whatever you need to... If you feel sad then so be it.

I found the day so much harder than I expected, and spent most of it in tears (didn't leave the house etc)

Today is a beautiful autumnal day, enjoy your walk and remember your wonderful mum. She is still in your heart and memories and DNA.