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Bereavement

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Original poster

Devastated

135 replies

Yappy12 · 24/05/2019 22:02

We had IUI in Jan. 1995 and then a beautiful daughter, Rachel, was born in Oct.1995. I'm her dad but was infertile so we'd to have donor sperm. Sadly she died suddenly a year ago from SADS, sudden adult death syndrome. This is where the heart suddenly stops for no apparent reason, bit like a cot death in a baby. It's usually hereditary so we blame the sperm donor but not much we can do now. We only had one so we're absolutely devastated and our lives are all but over.

OP posts:
Original poster
Yappy12 · 11/08/2019 17:20

Nodressrehearsal. Her friends, 6 of them, are coming here tonight for dinner. They come to see us about every 8 weeks, dropped it off from every 4 weeks. They're busy though, all working now and courting. They're all still heartbroken though.

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Slightaggrandising · 11/08/2019 17:21

Flowers new to this thread. I can fathom your heartbreak yappy. I just wanted you to know ow that strangers are thinking of you & holding you family in our thoughts.

Slightaggrandising · 11/08/2019 17:22

FFS... I can't fathom your heartbreak. Nice one autocorrect.

Original poster
Yappy12 · 11/08/2019 17:23

Thanks.

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Hoooo · 11/08/2019 17:32

Life can be so unutterably cruel

I'm so very sorry yappy

QOD · 29/09/2019 11:48

How are things ? 🐕

Original poster
Yappy12 · 29/09/2019 22:47

Hi. About the same really but just thought today that I haven't been as tearful these last few days. Up and down really and just taking a day at a time. Thanks for asking. Good of you. x Her birthday coming up on 18th Oct, she'd have been 24.

Someone we know lost their son, just 19. They were coming back from Philippines and in departures at Manila airport and he just collapsed and was dead. instantly. Turns out it was an aneurysm in his brain. No pain, no headache that he complained of. Just gone in a flash.
Life's so short.

OP posts:
QOD · 30/09/2019 08:50

Gosh that’s terrible 😕 life can be so unfair can’t it.
I’m glad you’re less tearful, you’ll never forget or get over it but I guess you get used to it
I wish this didn’t happen to people ever 💐 🐕

Original poster
Yappy12 · 12/10/2019 21:51

The Coronation Street Sinead storyline's upsetting me a lot but have to watch it as I've watched it for decades. I think that at least they're getting to say goodbye to her. Yes I know it's only a story but we never got to say goodbye to Rachel. Just gone like that. She'd be 24 next Friday. Such a waste of a good life. Her friends, about 6 of them are coming to see us after work in the evening.

OP posts:
QOD · 12/10/2019 23:12

It’s lovely they keep her in their lives

Original poster
Yappy12 · 12/10/2019 23:28

Yes it is. Will be sad the next couple of weeks.

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Original poster
Yappy12 · 12/10/2019 23:29

Oh sorry, you meant Rachel's friends. Yes it is good that they keep up with us still.

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QOD · 13/10/2019 06:21

I don’t watch Corrie - I’m an Eastenders kinda gal

I lost a friend to cancer recently and have made way more effort to let her family and closer friends know that she’s not and won’t be forgotten than I would have before reading your story
Rather than feel sad alone, I’ve reached out and kept in touch. Hopefully they get some comfort that we remember her

Original poster
Yappy12 · 13/10/2019 11:10

That's really nice of you. Nobody else visits us now except her friends.

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MrsDimmond · 18/10/2019 00:17

Flowers for you on Rachel's birthday.

Original poster
Yappy12 · 18/10/2019 00:26

Thanks.

OP posts:
Mummaofmytribe · 18/10/2019 00:38

Sending you strength and courage. I lost my 20 year old son very suddenly. Six years ago. I empathiseFlowers

Crunched · 18/10/2019 00:40

My thoughts are with you today Yappy.

CanIhelpyouatall · 18/10/2019 07:13

Thinking of you today on Rachel's 24th Birthday xxx

psychoticbeetroot · 18/10/2019 07:31

Thoughts are with you today Thanks

Original poster
Yappy12 · 18/10/2019 07:56

Thanks all.

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PrincessRaven · 18/10/2019 08:00

Flowers thinking of you Yappy xxx

scarletthollie5 · 18/10/2019 08:50

Sorry for your loss. I lost my daughter Rachel in July 2014. The first year after was a blur the second the reality that she was not coming back set in.
Now five years later , we carry on our lives have been become unrecognisable to before Rachel’s passing.

We are blessed that we see her daughter weekly . My other children and grandchildren share this horrendous pain we are united in our grief .

The suddenness of her leaving, no goodbyes , no preparation, just went to bed one night was ok when her husband went to shower in the morning and not breathing when he returned.

I feel feel for you this heartbreaking path we now walk is long and hard.

If your counselling was with Cruse you can return to them or your GP should be able to refer you.

Take care💔

scarletthollie5 · 18/10/2019 08:52

Sorry meant to add , birthdays, Christmas and this other important days will always be hard as is the led up to these days.

Be kind to yourself if you can do someone Rachel would have liked.

Thinking if you

user1497997754 · 18/10/2019 13:52

Sorry for your loss it must be so difficult for you both.....it seems to me that you and your wife are not communicating very well regarding your grief and you both maybe would benefit to go together for bereavement counselling together. The last thing your Rachel would want is for you both going your separate ways. Maybe taking your wife and Rachel's dog away for a few days holiday might be nice...lots of dog friendly cottages out there. Sending you big hugs x..