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Bereavement

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Any hope

98 replies

Cotton1 · 10/07/2007 19:39

Hi! I would be really grateful for some advice. I'm suppose to be 7 weeks pregnant, but before last weeks had three weeks of bleeding and Hormony levels only raising by 250 every 48 hrs. I had a scan 2 weeks ago where they saw no signs of pregnancy, then last week they saw a sac, going back on Friday for another scan. Is there any hope?

OP posts:
meeshy · 10/07/2007 21:09

I'm really sorry cotton1 but I am speaking from experience as I have had 3 miscarriages.

Its likely that you aren't pregnant and this agonising waiting and hoping is the worst feeling ever. They need to see a heartbeat not a sac and hopefully on Friday you can get closure and move on.

It can be terribly lonely and i coudn't talk to anyone about how I felt, no - one at all understood really.

Cotton1 · 11/07/2007 18:02

Hi Meeshy I think I know that deep down just trying to cling on to a bit of hope, and as you say the not knowing is the worst part. I had a silent miscarriage at 14 weeks two years ago and can't believe how different this time is. Luckily I've had a lovely little boy in between so am counting my blessing!

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orangehead · 12/07/2007 00:00

Im really sorry its horrible being left in limbo. My 1st miscarriage they rushed me in for the operation very quicker after the scan, I got very depressed and convinced they had made a mistake and killed my perfectly healthy baby. The next time I stood my ground and they kept rechecking my bloods till my levels started to even out (about 4 days, that time I coped alot better as I knew my baby was dead although I still grieved. It wasnt until my sons 1st scan (5 yrs later) that I realized my 1st baby was def dead because of the difference in the scans. To be honest I dont think they is hope, Im sorry, but for your own sanity you might find it better if you are convinced b4 they intervene. As long as yr health is ok and if you r not convinced maybe you should ask 4 some more bloods. Of course this is not right for everyone some women prefer intervention straight away, but it is something 2 think about I wish u all the best. Take care

Ishouldbeworking · 12/07/2007 10:40

Hi Cotton1, am in a similar situation - should have been 7 weeks on Monday but in two scans they've only seen the sac (and on second scan, sac was 'irregular').

My HCG levels are only going up slowly and my progesterone levels are lower than they should be so all the signs are negative. I've resigned myself to losing this one but have to have another scan on Monday as until the sac is 2mm and empty they won't class it as a miscarriage.

Good luck tomorrow.

Cotton1 · 12/07/2007 20:45

Think i have accepted the fact that things aren't going to work out. So sorry you're going through a similar thing Ishouldbeworkng. Will let you know how things turn out.

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Ishouldbeworking · 18/07/2007 13:06

Hi Cotton1

Just thought I'd let you know - turns out I had an ectopic but luckily I was being wheeled into theatre on Monday for investigation when it burst. So I'm just thankful I was in the right place. Hope things work out for you. Have to give TTC a miss for a couple of months now so am planning to enjoy a few glasses of wine and coffee while I can. Good luck.

suezee · 18/07/2007 13:09

i have been through the exact same thing as you 3 times........and i sorry to say that theres not very much chance that things are going to be ok..........unless you've got the dates wrong?????????????????????????

bubblesbabe · 18/07/2007 15:08

Hi all. have just been through something very similar. had a scan on saturday at what i thought was 8+3 and the dr found a little heartbeat but said the pregnancy was only 6 weeks and so was probably failing. I was prepared in a way i suppose but still desperately upset as miscarried yesterday and in fact had more pain and clots today. hope it doesn't last too much longer as i think i'm running out of tears. good luck to you - let us know how you're doing. at least MN lets you know you're not alone! x

Cotton1 · 22/07/2007 20:32

Hi All. I went back for my scan and they said the sac had grown but there was nothing in it, but said they would re-scan in another two weeks (friday 27th). There's no chance my dates are wong so just waiting for them to tell what i already know. This has been going on for nearly six weeks now and after feeling really strong at first, its now starting to get to me. To top it off, after one of my best freinds told me a few weeks ago she was pregnant, my other best friend has just rung to tell me she is expecting too. I would have been due in the middle of the two of them!

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B3CCY · 22/07/2007 22:02

Hi ladies, feel the need to drop in and share my thoughts with women who might actually understand. Those around me seem to have a 'what will be will be' attitude and don't have the first idea about what I am going through.

I have a wonderful 8 year old daughter (so I know i can go to full term pregnancy) but since having her I have gone on to have 3 successive misscarriages. Now I am pregnant again (7 weeks)and am finding the wait to see if everything is okay utterly unbearable. I started spotting slightly today and am beside myself thinking that the worst is going to happen for a fourth time.

Someone please help me get through this!

LittleSquirt · 23/07/2007 09:45

Hi B3CCY - I am keeping my fingers crossed for you that everything will be fine and I can totally understand that days seem like like years to you right now! I felt like that before my first miscarriage (I only had one, now TTC again) and I know I will even more when I do get pregnant again.
Are you having an early scan? If all is well, you should see a heartbeat now that you are 7 weeks and I have read that the chances of miscarriages are much lower once you have seen a heartbeat. I really hope this one is the right one for you!

Cotton1 - all this waiting sounds extremely cruel to me. If you are sure the dates don't match up, and they did a scan and only saw an empty sac, why on earth are they not offering you an ERPC straight away?!? If that is what you want (the ERPC) then I think you should go back to them and demand on. It is outrageous that this is dragging on for so long!!

Thinking of both of you and sending you hugs. xxx

smilesattheweekend · 23/07/2007 12:22

Hi B3CCY
I completely understand where you are at. I lost my 3rd pg last monday and have just been back to the EPU to check all is ok. I had a really good chat with them and they said that as soon as I get a BFP to ring them and they will monitor me. I had a scan last monday and was 7 weeks, saw the heartbeat and everything was fine - they could see no reason for the pg not progressing well. I bled lots when I had my son as well as having two prev mc. The EPU have been great and they have recurrent mc clinics and support groups which they will offer to me when (if) we need it. Most people say about getting to the 12 week mark. The EPU told me that people get to the 12 week mark but the baby did not get past 5 or 6 weeks. Lots of people also who have early scans see a heartbeat up to 8 weeks and then it does not progress. Therefore the most crucial thing is to get to 8 or 9 weeks have a scan at this time, hopefully you will see a heartbeat and the measurements will match up to your dates. This is another reason why I don't just want to jump back in to ttc, I want to get back in tune with my cycle and be sure of my dates. I find I can "deal" with the mc, deeply upsetting as it is, I have lost them, they are not coming back, I can mourn and cry for what would have been and I have a great DH with me who I can talk to. What I really do struggle with is getting through another pg, support groups and counselling may help but just mentally getting through each day without turning myself inside out with worry - now that it is the hardest thing. Sorry for the ramble. Does anyone have any tried and tested means of mental housekeeping - have thought about yoga and also hynotherapy????
Lots of love to you all.
Smiles
X

ladylush · 23/07/2007 12:46

Hello B4CCY I had my 3rd m/c two weeks ago (well it was a missed m/c so needed an ERPC) and I can totally understand how you're feeling. I had spotting with ds (who was fine) and spotting in all of the subsequent pgs which I m/c. Bleeding/spotting is not a reliable indicator of pg outcome but it can alert you that something may be wrong so that you can get it checked out. The main difference between the spotting I had with ds and the spotting with my subsequent pgs is that there was no pain accompanying the spotting with ds, whereas there was mild cramps with the 3 I went on to m/c. Hope everything works out ok for you .

ladylush · 23/07/2007 12:47

Do you have an EPU near you where you can get scanned?

B3CCY · 23/07/2007 13:20

Hi

I rang doctors this morning and they have got me booked in for a scan tomorrow morning.

Even if they find a heartbeat I won't be coming out reassured. Last June when I miscarried for the third time they found a healthy heartbeat at 7 weeks only for it all to be over a week later.

Feel like I have period pains today but still only spotting - wish me luck

ladylush · 23/07/2007 13:29

Good luck

bubblesbabe · 23/07/2007 13:42

Wishing you loads of luck - it's a week since my miscarriage now and I had a tough weekend - suddenly unable to stop sobbing at midnight on Friday after a horrible session at the hospital where they kept me waiting for an hour and forty-five minutes for my scan, didn't even speak to me whilst scanning as there was a training session going on and then asked me if I wanted somewhere to sit on my own as I had miscarried. By that time I was so furious I just marched out of the room. Funny how medical staff take more notice of you if something sad has happened - the nurse on duty didn't even speak to us before the scan, despite keeping us waiting all that time! Anyway, school holidays start today and I am feeling a bit better.
Thinking of the rest of you and hoping that some people are in for good news.

B3CCY · 23/07/2007 15:12

Smiles- I have no idea what to suggest Re getting through each day. I am the world's worst worrier. My mum keep saying 'take each day as it comes' and 'try and forget about it' - easy for her to say. Hubby is upset but doesn't say much, - I think for fear of saying the wrong thing! I'm so on edge. I cannot think about anything else. If only I had a time machine- I'd fast forward the next 5 weeks! At least we can all have a rant on mumsnet

smilesattheweekend · 23/07/2007 15:17

I know, we should do a joint venture and go on dragons den and clean up. Some sort of drug that induces hibernation for 3 months and a scan booked at the end should do the trick.

Well - we can dream!!!

Smiles

B3CCY · 23/07/2007 15:22

Cotton1 - sorry I wrote you a message last night but must have forgotten to click on post message.

Last year I was in a similar position, I thought I was about 7 weeks pregnant and sure of my dates but when i went for my first early scan it showed just a sac approx 5 weeks. They scanned me a week later and they could see a foetal pole, than another scan another week later showed a healthy heartbeat - that was when i was actually 7 weeks. unfortunately I did go on to miscarry but I understand from ehat I have reseacrhes that if they find a heartbeat between 7 and 10 weeks there is a strong chance that you will not miscarry. Try also to remember that scans so early on are not always conclusive and up to about 8 weeks hcg levels rising are the main sign of a continuing pregancy (I think as a rule its not the level of hormone as this varies greatly but the level should double about every 48 hours) I think Friday is too long for you to be waiting for a further scan. Let us know how you get on, i've got my fingers crossed for you. we are both playing a waiting game. Thaks for starting this thread I feel a bit better that I've got a few people to talk to.

Cotton1 · 23/07/2007 19:26

Hi B3CCY. Really really hope it goes well for you tomorrow.

I think the worst thing about miscarriage is the constant feeling of dread at every little pain or sight of blood. It's like living with a huge dark cloud over your head.

I hope time passes quickly for you until you have the outcome you want. Let us know how it goes. Good luck xx

LittleSquirt-did try telling EPU I was sure of my dates but they told me they couldn't take my word for it!! Laughed when i read your message you said exactly what i wanted to say to them but couldn't! What is ERPC,they said they would give me tablets on Friday, is that the same thing??? Thanks for your support.

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ladylush · 23/07/2007 23:17

I love the idea of patenting a 3 month hibernation with scan booked in at the end I kept saying in my last pg that I wanted to hibernate for 3 months.

Cotton - an ERPC is an Evacuation of Retained Products and is commonly used in situations where the pregnancy is not progressing and where it is deemed likely that miscarriage may take a while as in the case of a missed miscarriage.

B3CCY · 24/07/2007 11:25

I think i'm going mad! Went for my scan this morning. I am convinced of my dates but they tell me i am wrong or else I must have had a longer cycle than usual. They have found a sac measuring 5and a half weeks but cannot see what is in it. They say sac is a good size and shape, no sign of a bleed and my uterus lining is good. They are hoping that what i am experiencing is an implantation bleed. Only way to know at this stage if it is a continuing pregnancy is to do the hcg tests so they have taken blood from me and will repeat on Thursday. If the hcg levels double then it is a good sign and they will arrange to scan me again in a weeks time. Wish me luck. Smiles- get to work on that hibernation pill will you - looks like if this goes to plan I've now got 7 weeks of torment before I can relax instead of the 5 I thought

ladylush · 24/07/2007 12:09

How tormenting but at least they are doing the HCG bloods

B3CCY · 24/07/2007 14:44

Really worried. Am loosing bright red blood now with one or two clots, was only pinky and brown before (sorry if too much info) Am beside myself. When they did the scan this morning they had to do an internal scan. Anyone know if this can make things worse?