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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

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Original poster

Can I have your opinion on this please

38 replies

elerose · 18/04/2007 16:50

Hello, I had a MC on New years eve and have been ttc for 2months now. I had what I thought was AF two weeks ago(which was right on time) but yesterday started spotting agin and it was very similar to early bleed with mc. I did a test and BFP I am so confused and still spotting, do you think I was pg but af was mc as I know tests can still come up positive due to hormones in your system or do you think I am MC now?
I was also wondering if you can go to EPU direct or do you have to be referred by GP.
Thanks in anticipation.

OP posts:

Mumpbump · 04/05/2007 13:28

I think you just need to feel emotionally ready. Dh wanted to leave it for a while, but I didn't so I jumped him when I thought I was ovulating. I had one period (where I was devastated that I hadn't fallen pg) and conceived the cycle after that. I was a complete mess by the time I tested for the pg - I was scared I wouldn't be and petrified I would be because of the prospect of another m/c. But I have to say that as scary as it is, being pg again is the only thing that really helped me feel "better" about my two m/c. The only other silver lining in the cloud is that if you have 3 successive m/c, they will then investigate whether there is a biological reason for them.

Original poster

elerose · 04/05/2007 13:46

I suppose it's early days but I do feel at the moment I need a month or two off this rollercoaster to sort myself out. I just spoke to dh and suggested we take a family holiday in the next couple of weeks and he said we could book it tonight so that has actually cheered me up quite alot.
I am so glad that things are working out for you, going through what we have certainly makes you appreciate what a miricle babies are.

OP posts:

Mumpbump · 04/05/2007 14:08

With hindsight, realising what a mess I was in, I am glad I didn't fall pg again immediately. Another month still might have meant that I was more ready emotionally, rather than ending up with my head in a mess - I ended up taking two days off work whilst I dithered about whether or not to test!!! But I found I had an enormous drive to try again. If you can get away from stuff by going on holiday, I think that sounds like a great idea. I hope you get some R&R and start to feel a bit better...

nh101 · 04/05/2007 22:25

I think going on holiday is a great idea, it will give you something to look forward to. I organised a 30th birthday party for myself - seven weeks before my actual birthday because I thought I might be PG again on my actual birthday and wanted to get drunk at my party! That has given me a focus and I thought I would have a couple of months off but now, six weeks down the line, I am ready to try again. So just wait, give yourself time. If after your next period you are ready, try again. If you are not then wait. I felt also that I wanted to get off the roller coaster but having been off it for six weeks now I am ready to get back on. Terrified though! But mumpbump's story is so reassuring because it makes you see that 2 MCs can just be down to bad luck. Everything will be fine next time, just have faith.

Original poster

elerose · 05/05/2007 09:09

Thanks both, the doctor phoned yesterday and asked me to go and see him asap so I rang to make an appointment and the receptionist told me the earliest appointment was in just over 2 weeks!! so I will have to just turn up on tuesday and ask for an emergency appointment. I have to say I am so fed up of feeling ill and going to the doctors I just want to be pregnant and blooming .

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nh101 · 06/05/2007 14:12

I just can't find the right words to write. I am so so sorry. Hopefully you can get through this and have good things in your future. I find talking about it in RL and on MN helps, hopefully it can help you too.

Original poster

elerose · 09/05/2007 08:45

Hello, I went to the doctor's yesterday and saw the female doctor who was lovely. She agreed to do some tests and took quite alot of blood I'm not sure what the tests are for but I have to go back next tuesday for the results. She was still very positive about any future pg so I do feel better today. I have also now told my Mum and Sister and feel like a weight has been lifted (though I did get a telling off for not telling them sooner).
Thank you for all your support it has really helped. I was wondering if anyone knew what sort of tests I should be having though.

OP posts:

Mumpbump · 09/05/2007 13:59

No idea what they would test for. MrsMcJnr who I think is posting on the ttc after m/c thread had some tests after her m/c. Lissielou also had some tests done a few months ago - think she "hangs out" in the tea shop. But can't think of anyone else...

lissielou · 09/05/2007 14:25

hi, im sorry that youve had to go thru this, it is an awful thing to happen, no matter what stage in your pg it happens. ive had 4 confirmed mc and 2 unconfirmed along with 1 ep and unfortunately it doesnt get any easier, i wish i could say it does. you will never forget your beans, but hopefully now you will get some answers.

As mumpbump says im currently undergoing tests for recurring miscarriage and the first step was being referred by my gp. then we got an appt to see the fertility nurse. over the last 3m i have had lots of blood taken to look for chlamydia anti-bodies, lupus, clotting disorders, progesterone levels, ovulation, chromosonal problems and about a hundred other things. dh has also had to give 2 "special" samples (which he found traumatic ) and i have to have a HSG xray this month or next. It is a long, stressful process and i get so frustrated with the speed at which it moves. a lot of tests have to be done at certain points in your cycle so i found charting very helpful. i would also recommend that you postpone ttc til you have some answers, i lost another bean last month and i felt worse about it coz i knew that we'd rushed to get pg again.

if you need to chat you can CAT me or i can give you my e-mail. hope this helps.

LadyOfTheFlowers · 09/05/2007 14:27

i have had miscarriages and children in a different order to you so am not sure about the hormones hanging around etc.
could itbe implantation bleeding?
is it bright red? like a cut?

LadyOfTheFlowers · 09/05/2007 14:29

oh sorry. dickhead here didnt read the whole thread.

Original poster

elerose · 09/05/2007 21:35

Thanks Lissielou, I'm so sorry for what you've been through. I think your right about waiting to ttc again I need a break from all of this and dh is off to the travel agent to book us a week in sunny majorca tommorrow which has really cheered me up. I've decided to concentrate on being a happy healthy mummy to my beautiful dd. I feel for the last 4 months all our lives have been put on hold (though I hope she hasn't noticed too much)and I feel its all my fault so I want to concentrate on dd and dh for a while.
I'm not sure what tests have been done I know I haven't been referred as yet the Dr said she would wait for these results and see if there was anything to concern her but I still feel it's a first step.

OP posts:

lissielou · 10/05/2007 07:21

its good that you are on the radar iykwim, the prob with ttc is that it turns you into a different person, and thats hard for everyone in your life to get their heads around

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