Anyone around? Not strong right now

[foundintranslation]

(And not entirely sober, either. But that's by the by)

I am very optimistic, really, usually, but I can't be strong and optimistic all the time. What if I can't get pg again? What if I get pg again and miscarry again? And again? What if there really is an underlying problem?

I haven't really had time to feel the full sadness about this that is going on under the surface. My life demands a lot of me atm. Keeping it together is important.

I'm not sleeping well - there are a lot of fears. Fear that something will happen to ds, that something will happen to us. I wish I knew what it was like to have a mother who would support me through all of this. What is it like?

Thank you everyone. (It's 4 proto-babies sadly t - I mc before ds too - but thank you for your comforting words, which in my good moments I know to be true).

Just a quick message - am completely and utterly done in, burst into tears over little things several times while at my friend's - the floodgates are open, basically. But on the positive (and slightly tmi) side, I seem to have my period

Ellbell and Greeny - thank you. I will be in touch very soon.

I wish I was there with you

I know this feels terrible now FIT, but it won't be this bad for ever. I don't know how you get through it, but I know you will get through it. Just be very gentle with yourself, allow yourself to express your sadness any way you need to - cry when you want to cry, it's better than internalising it.

I feel daft saying "I'm thinking of you" every time I post, but I really am, and wishing you strength and comfort.

Greeny, you do comfort me.