My beautiful daughter has gone

[cathpip]

Pippa passed away in the early hours of this morning after a viral infection led to blood poisoning, she was 3 years old. Her and her big brother were so excited as 10 days ago I had a baby. I am so utterly lost and heartbroken.

So very sorry for your loss. Thinking of you all.

Pippa xxxxx

No words can describe how sorry I feel for your loss and the pain you are going through cat. What a gorgeous girl Pippa is xxx

So sorry for the loss of your daughter, Cathpip. Wishing you the strength to get through this. Please know, you will never forget her, and she will always be with you. X
R.I.P little Pippa xxx

I'm so sorry for all of you. Thank you for sharing the beautiful photo of Pippa xx

What a beautiful little girl you made. She looks so confident, so happy and loved.
It's so unfair, my heart breaks for you :(
Sending you and your family lots of love xxx

Cathpip - I am so so sorry to hear about your beautiful Pippa. Gosh she was adorable. Take it day by day, it is the only way. Wishing you lots of love and support.

I'm so sorry for your loss. What a lovely cheeky smile Pippa had.

What a beautiful and feisty girl! Her smile speaks of such a wonderful character. Sorry doesn't come close but I am so very very sorry for you and all your family

Cath

I am so terribly sorry. My deepest condolences to you all.

There are no words, so unbearably sad. Pippa's smile is so beautiful. Sending you and your family much love

(((((hugs)))) to all of you.

So very sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter. My heart goes out to you and your family - just so sad for you

Just seen this, Cathpip and I am utterly heartbroken for you and your family. Such a beautiful little girl, such a tragic loss. :(
Take the time you need - when it gets awful and overwhelming, stop and sit and cuddle Elliott, or stop and sit in Pippa's room with her if Elliott's asleep. Sometimes stopping and sitting is all you can do, and then you get up again and carry on.
((((hugs)))) for you all and .

I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter

Friday was not a good day, absolutely everything set me off. I have two sisters, one has two girls the other who is my identical twin has a little boy and is also pregnant with twins, she found out yesterday morning that her twin pregnancy is girls. I am so happy for her but after her call I burst into tears in front of my friend saying that it was unfair as both my sisters now have what I have lost, a daughter. I feel so guilty for thinking this as my boys are everything to me, I so so miss my little girl. This week has been tougher than I thought with dh back at work the house is so large and quiet and tidy, I would give anything to hear a toy box being emptied all over the floor, I even sat down after lunch and automatically turned the telly on to boomerang for scooby doo........

((((hugs))))
It's all very raw and very soon for you, so just do whatever you need to do to get through the day.

Sending you all the love in the world. xxxxxx

I'm so sorry, that's really tough. When my little boy died, only weeks later my sister was pregnant. Literally 9 months after he died, she had a little boy. I was so upset, I really struggled to see her all through the pregnancy, and found it hard once she had him too. I told myself that I didn't care what she had, as I would always prefer to have my son over any other child, so it didn't matter. It hurt though. Her little boy is now 17 months old, and I have been without mine for nearly 26 months. It's not as raw now and I can see him and am absolutely fine, he's not my son and he's nothing like him. I had 3 little boys, and the other day a friend had their 3 son and I congratulated them and then cried. It's just the happiness side of it, and the sadness that I feel for myself. There are so many of these things to deal with but slowly you will begin to feel stronger and able to cope with them. You are doing amazingly xx

Cathpip, it's that feeling of being made redundant from a job you loved - you weren't consulted, you didn't agree to this, Pippa didn't agree to this - how possibly can this be your life? I am so, so sorry. It is such a terribly lonely place to be, a mother grieving. None of your friends can truly understand - and you would never want them to understand either. Sending you so much love. xx

I am so sorry to hear your news about your beautiful daughter. Septicaemia is a cruel and wicked disease - we have been there (strep A), though came out the other side by the skin of our teeth. There is much support from the meningitis research foundation if you want to talk to anyone. They support both meningitis and septicaemia families and were amazing and still are for us. Your family sounds adorable and I am sure her brothers will cherish the photos and stories you have about Pippa. Don't feel bad for being upset by the normal things around you, it is a normal reaction to a very emotional time. Big hugs.

Oh sweetheart, why didn't you call me or let me know? You know how close we are, I know it was Nemo's party and you had plans but some things are far more important! Like you finding that out!

I love you so much. I'm sure that the rawness you feel right now, the stabbing pain in your heart, the ache, the sobbing you have done since you found out still hasn't helped you I'm guessing and the further along this goes, the shopping for girls clothing, etc is just going to hurt time and time again.

All you want is Pippa back. You're right, it is not fair, not at all.

The feeling of emptiness you hold is natural, you planned to have three children, you had three beautiful children for ten days and then Pippa was taken from you, through no fault of your own. But it's a fact.

Life has changed into something that you never planned or expected. In fact it sucks and it's shit. It wasn't meant to be. You knew what you wanted, and you had it. Suddenly, unexpectedly, you didn't.

Adjusting to that is going to take as long as it takes darling.

You know where I am.

I love you xxx

Right, train tickets are paid for, I shall be with you on Thursday at 1.30 at H train station. See you there lovely lady :) xxx

Cathpip, oh it's just horrible, really awful. My experience is of newborn loss rather than an older child, but from my experience and even now nearly 10 months on, there are still things that make me cry, things which hurt so much. In ten months I have progressed in ways I didn't think I'd ever be able to when it first happened and also not progressed in others.

Some days I can function, some days I cannot. Some days you would never know what had happened to me, other days I cannot contain it.

It is completely emotionally draining but normal and the missing will never go away. From speaking with others further down this 'journey' than you and I, I have been told that the ache doesn't go away and you will always be grieving, but that you will be able to live alongside your grief. Which probably sounds so harsh and unloving to you now (it did and still does to me sometimes) but the way your grief presents it self over time is continually evolving.

Keep posting on here as you've done, don't keep it all in. Don't feel guilty about your feelings, it is only natural and normal - and your friends and family should understand. I've had friends recently have babies and I can't see them or congratulate them (even though I am happy for them) because it makes me so sad that 'it' had to happen to my baby, who was loved as much as any other child on this planet, and everyone else around me doesn't seem to realise how lucky they are. (Although really they probably do).

Anyway sorry for the waffling. I know there's nothing I can say. But please keep posting, keep talking to us about your feelings. xxxx

My friend had to take my dogs to the vets today for their annual checkup, I could not face it. Pippa used to sit on the receptionists knee pretending to answer the phones, the thought of having to ruin another persons day with the news that she has gone was too much. I tidied away her shoes into her bedroom on the weekend, how can such little things set you off? We as a family were having a good day, it was only a pair of trainers... The funeral directors bill also arrived, I knew it was wrong the moment I saw the account, they have only charged us enough to cover their costs, they will not accept a penny more. I also had my first person who I know not acknowledge my existence, he bumped into me and completely blanked me, a quick hello would of been fine, I wouldn't of crumbled, it has both annoyed and upset me, I hope it's not a frequent occurrence. My best friend mouseface is arriving tomorrow I can't wait, we didn't get enough time to talk around the funeral and I know she is secretly looking forward to lots of snuggles with Elliott. Thank you again for all the support and kind messages that have been posted, I would be lost without them.