no heartbeat at 9 week scan PLEASE HELP!

[jeddah]

Hi girls.... some of you might remember me???? I was posting regularly about 1 year ago, but needed a rest.

I have been pregnant 3 times in the last year. Miscarried the first 2 at 5 weeks and 6 weeks, the bleeding just started and it all happened naturally.

Found out I was pregnant on my holiday in Italy in begining of July and because of my 2 miscarriagea, they decided to scan me weekly until I was 12 weeks.

Had 6 week, 7 week and 8 week scan all of which were normal and healthy and very strong heartbeats.

Oh my god we were thrilled and the sign of heartbeats made us completely think 100% we were in the clear!

Anyway last weeks 9 week scan there was no heartbeat and has been the biggest shock of our lives. They told me to go home and it will happen naturally.

I am still sat here waiting!
can someone please advise me on when and what happens, eg how painful? how much blood? when will it happen? anyone had a D+C and concieved again?

I am 42yrs and feel completely hopeless.

thanks in anticipation!

Really sorry to read this - thinking of you XXX

So sorry to hear this jeddah

I am really sorry to hear this Jeddah. xxxx

Thinking of Jeddah and Hannahsaunt- so sorry about your losses. xxx

Hi Jeddah, I have just read your OP and haven't read through all the thread but I just want to offer my biggest heartfelt sympathies as your experience has similarities with mine and noone deserves to go through it once - let alone 3 times.
Like you, I had a scan at 8 weeks and everything looked brilliant. I remember walking down the road afterwards thinking how I could finally relax because the odds looked so good for me then. A week later it all ended and I still really hate to read those statistics of what a good chance of survival there is if you've seen a heartbeat. They just make me think 'why me?!' and it seems so bloody, f*ing, unfair.

When it happened for me it happened naturally. I started to spot more heavily on Wednesday with no pain. On Thursday the bleeding was like a heavy period but I went to work. The pain was like bad period pain and I came home early and lay on the sofa. However, as I knew I had lost the baby I took mega-strength Ibuprofen and that really helped me, so the pain wasn't too bad. On Friday morning I woke with my alarm clock, had quite sharp pains that made me curl up for 10 minutes then went to the toilet kind of doubled-up and the baby came out when I was on the toilet.
I fished it out and that was it. I just stood there, not knowing what to do with it then - I just knew I couldn't flush it. It was a horrible, dark, surreal moment.

After that the pain was gone. I bled for about a week/10 days heavily then it started to taper off for then next 10 days. I think everyone varies though - and I get the impression that with a D&C the bleeding is less prolonged.

I hope that helps, although as I said, everyone is different and there is no predicting how it will go for you.

Take care xxxxxxxxxxxx

No advice or experience, but lots of thoughts and prayers.... xxxx

A big thank you for everyones messages and kind thoughts.

titchy77..... I really hopes things go ok with you this time.. when is your scan? GOOD LUCK

Nemo1977 thankyou.

{{{hugs}}}

Letting it come through naturally is like a heavy period but with quite bad crampy pain. there is always a small risk of not everything expelling so don't panic if a week afterwards you start passing some very (very) large clots, that is just an infection which your GP can give you antibiotics for. I was distraught when this happened to me but really not a problem - stopped after 48 hours.

FWIW I had 7 miscarriages and never found the cause, so I know what you are going through. Ask your OB/GP about low-dose aspirin. There are theories that the testing for clotting abnormalities might not be 100% accurate, and mine were negative. But once I got PG (but NOT before falling PG) I was put on low dose for first 30 weeks. Result is DS born age 38, and am now pg again. It can happen, don't give up. Lots of luck.

Oh god whiffy!!!!!!! 7 miscarriages!!!!!!!!! so sorry for all these... do you mind if i ask you some questions.

what was the longest time you were pregnant for??
Where all the miscarriages soon after eachother?
Did you have all the investigations?

By the way I started taking low dose aspirin when I found I was pregnant, this was under the consultants instructions......never made any difference though!

I was reading on another thread that wmoen take it while TTC ?????thought you had to take it when pregnant?

My longest PG before MC was 13 weeks, which hit me like a sledgehammer. Most failed at around 8/9 weeks which I understand is the real danger period as it is when placenta does/doesn't attach, then I think there is another danger spike at 11/12 weeks when the uterus 'takes over'. Had all the tests and everything was negative. I think they say that aspirin can stop you conceiving so I think that's why they recommend you start only when you know you're PG...but that's just what I heard from another MNer - it never occured to me to take when trying to conceive...

Strangely they do get easier to cope with after each one, even though the ticking clock is awful. After a while I just put myself in the mindset that life does go on regardless, and rather bizarrely I managed to ignore the fact I was PG most of the time. Obsessing about it all just makes it worse.

The whole MC thing took up 4 years of our lives but did get easier to live with - we got quite expert at getting pregnant and we were advised to ignore the 'wait 3 months before trying rule' by our fab OB. The thing that was really hell though was going through the whole full PG with DS. I don't think there was a day when I didn't panic; I would turn up at Fetal clinic and MW unit unannounced all the time just for a scan or doppler to reassure (I now have my own doppler at home!) and I was so worried I banned everyone from buying anything for the baby in advance in case it tempted fate. Things with current PG (no MC's between DS and this one) are so much easier second time round but I do feel quite robbed of missing out on all the enjoyment because I worried so much first timje round. Small price to pay, though.

I read some of the TTC posts and they just choke me up as I remember all the pain. I read somewhere that the very vast majority of women who do have multiple MC's with no underlying medical reasons DO have sucessful PG's eventually, but have been unable to find exact stats...

Dear Jeddah,

Just wanted to add my condolances to you too...what you're going through is agonising but I'm sure you'll find the strength to cope.

I had a missed m.c at 15+2 weeks back at the end of Feb. I did have a d&c and tbh it made everything a bit easier to cope with - I didn't want the pain of waiting for my body to let the baby go naturally, iykwim. I only bled for a short time after it too, so that was ok. You can expect erratic periods for a while after but everything will get back to normal, I promise.

It took me 3 cycles and now I'm 13 weeks pregnant again. Had a scan this moring and all seems well. You have to be strong yet allow yourself the time to grieve. My baby would've been due tomorrow, and that tears me up despite being pg again. Go and join the ttc after mc board in Conception - fabulous ladies who will give you endless support.

I'm so sorry you're going through this, a missed m/c seems especially cruel. I didn't even know they happened till it happened to me. Take care pet. xxx

jeddah and others - also no practical help to offer sorry, but have just read this thread with horror and my thoughts are with you all. xx

Hi jeddah, I have also been in that horrible '10%' and send deep sympathy. I was 'lucky' in that the bleeding started very soon. It lasted about 2 weeks and wasn't painful (the time before had a D+C, which was OK as far as being in hosp for something so grim can be) except in the sense of being reminded all of that time what I was losing. I am so sorry and look forward to reading about you on a happier thread in the future. Best of luck.

jeddah - much sympathy from me. i lost 3 pregnancies before having ds - an ectopic at 7 weeks, then 2 miscarriages at 6 weeks. i was due to be seen at the recurrent miscarriage clinic when i fell pg with ds. all 4 pgs were over an 18 month period.

hang in there. you're doing the right thing by going to the recurrent mc clinic. i ahve my fingers crossed for you xx

ps i too took baby aspirin for the first 12 weeks of pregnancy with my son x

jeddah.

I had a mc a couple of months ago. I went for a routine dating scan at 9 weeks and there was no heartbeat. The baby was the right size for 9 weeks so presumably its heart had stopped beating only a few days before the scan.

It took another two weeks before I had any bleeding. It started with spotting one morning and by the same evening it had built up to heavy bleeding and cramping and I passed a lot of clots and the baby itself.

The pain was bearable with a couple of co-codamol and a glass of wine, and faded to normal period-type pains very quickly.

The hospital was happy for me to wait it out. Did your doctors give you a reason for advising you to have a d&c after a week?

I had a missed m/c last year, it was picked up on my 12 week scan, but the baby had stopped growing at 9 weeks. I was given 3 choices, first to let it happen naturally but they couldn't guarantee how long it would take, next was to take a tablet to speed it up and third was ERPOC. Originally I decided to take the tablet as that is what they advised but after speaking to family that had been through the same thing I decided to have the ERPOC. I'm so glad that I did because there was no waiting around, I went in a week after my scan, had the op at about 11am which really wasnt as bad as I thought it would be and was home about 3pm, I bled very lightly for about a week after.

I fell pg again 5months after and am now 34weeks.

Sorry if this is not the advice you wanted to hear but I wanted to share my experience with you.

I am thinking of you {{{HUGS}}}

So sorry for your loss,my nan had her last child at 48,and he was perfect,and my sister in law,was 44,so you still have time xx

carolinamao
no the DRs didn't give me any reason. They just said come back in a week and if nothing has happened then I would have to take the tablets or have a D+C.

To be honest would like it to happen naturally, but most of these stories here are telling me that it could take weeks!!!! My 9 weekscan showed no heartbeat, but it had not grown since the week befores scan....so its been 2 weeks already.
My dh and I just want to get back to normal asap and start trying again.

petrified... you have given me hope!

lilmamma 44 sounds good to me.... you just get so dispairing!!!!

Jeddah, so, so sorry for you. It is a truly horrible thing to happen. I have had 6 miscarriages, I also have 5 children. I have had various sorts of mc. With my first one I started to bleed at 11 weeks. It took about 2 weeks to all come out. It was very painful
The most frustrating one was when i started to bleed at about 6 weeks, stopped again, but by 9 weeks it still hadn't started again and I ended up going for a d&c because I needed it to be over and was starting to get really upset. You have to do what you feel most comfortable with. personally I really hate that not pregnant but not quite normal feeling. I felt like I was in limbo and couldn't move forward until I was "cleaned out". best of luck, fingers crossed for you.

thanks kittywits
I think I just want to feel normal again and I just want it over.

I understand that completely. A dodctor once told me that the body can hang on to non viable pregnancies because it takes a while for the yolk sack and developing placenta to recognise that there are no hormone signals being produced by the embryo. it is only when the body recognises this that it starts to clear things out.
When I was waiting for mine to go I must say that i felt I had something diseased in kme and I wated it out. Not a very nice thought but, I couldn't begin the healing process until it was out of me. If you need it to be over with now ask for a d&c. They are quick and in my experience uncomplicated and my body got back to normal in about a month. I felt so much better afterwards.

Thanks kittywits
appointment tomorrow at 10am

[[hugs]] Jeddah - thinking of you tomorrow.