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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

My beautiful son

999 replies

minmooch · 26/02/2014 17:13

After nearly two and a half years of a fight with cancer my beautiful 18 year old son passed away this morning at 11:20 am.

I am humbled by his strength and humour that he has shown throughout his short life.

OP posts:
ClockWatchingLady · 20/11/2014 14:22

Oh minmooch.
So how long after your waters broke did Will arrive? Is his birthday today/tomorrow?
Thinking of you Flowers

Badvocinapeartree · 20/11/2014 14:33

Mooch....thinking of your dear boy on his birthday.
My heart aches for you x

ATailofTwoKitties · 20/11/2014 14:36

Oh Min.
Another thinking of you and your family here.

ClockWatchingLady · 20/11/2014 14:53

Missed your previous post, minmooch.
Thinking of your lovely, courageous, kind Will on his birthday.
Sending love.

LilyTheSavage · 24/11/2014 03:50

I've been away for a couple of weeks and didn't have internet, but just wanted to say happy birthday (?) Will and to say that I was sending you a big hug. This is such a tough place to be. XXX

trulymadlydeeply · 25/11/2014 14:13

Minmooch. Almost the last of the "firsts". I hope you're as OK as it's possible to be in your situation.

i think of you often and hope that you and DS2 are surviving it all together.

Much love. Xxx

CariadsDarling · 25/11/2014 14:16

I really do just want to acknowledge your son and your family and everything you have gone through and are going through.

With best wishes
Cariad

Original poster
minmooch · 05/12/2014 10:49

Oh god I miss you my boy. Oh god it's too much. It's too painful with you gone. Nothing can change it, bring you back. The horror of what you had to endure. Your dignity. Your strength. Help me through. I can't bear the pain ....

OP posts:
magimedi · 05/12/2014 11:43

We are here & listening to you, Min.

All I can send you is love & sympathy & tell you that it's fine to come here & rant/scream/weep - someone will always be here for you.

Huge hugs.

cleanmachine · 05/12/2014 13:15

We are here min. Keep talking. Im crying with you, for you....

Badvocinapeartree · 05/12/2014 13:30

Min
Nothing I can say or do.
But I'm here listening.
You are so often in my thoughts.
Sending love to you x

Original poster
minmooch · 05/12/2014 14:24

Just can't stop crying today. It's all just so wrong. I can't keep the horror of his treatment, what it did to him, his last few days out of my mind. Why could it not have been me?

OP posts:
magimedi · 05/12/2014 14:35

There are no answers, Min.

I am looking westwards out of my window (as I think you live West of me, am in East Sussex) and sending you love & virtual hugs.

Badvocinapeartree · 05/12/2014 15:56

Yes.
It is wrong.
So very wrong.
I wish I knew what to say, min.
I type out so many things but they all seem so trite and stupid in the face of your grief.
I am thinking of you, and dear Will x

Original poster
minmooch · 05/12/2014 16:47

Thank you all. It helps to write it down and for someone to hear me. In RL we still try to protect those we love so hiding the hideous grief becomes part of my day.

OP posts:
LilyTheSavage · 05/12/2014 19:56

Hiding what we're actually feeling from people in RL has become habit. I can't share my grief with my parents, it's just too close and too raw. I can't deal with it. I only share with a very few close friends and my wonderful brother. (As well as my DH of course).

Sending you hugs. Wine

Original poster
minmooch · 12/12/2014 11:10

I'm so angry and tearful. Why oh why? A fucking brain tumour that took you bit by bit. How fucking cruel and unfair. I love you so much for your strength, your dignity, your humour. I have lost all those traits today and I just want to scream and shout and cry and have you back here. Or me be dead and you living your life as it should be.

I miss you so.

OP posts:
trulymadlydeeply · 12/12/2014 16:34

Oh lovely Minmooch ... there are no words.

I hear you, I extend my arms around you.

I wish I could do more; I wish I could help.

I understand your wish that it was you and not him, and I can't imagine the horror of all that you have seen and felt. Will was so brave and steadfast that it can only break your heart: this should not be! It must be even more raw at this time of year.

I send you love - and I'm listening, even if I can't "get it".

XXX

Original poster
minmooch · 12/12/2014 20:31

Thank you xx

OP posts:
pinkhousesarebest · 12/12/2014 21:59

Min I think of Will very often. I wish I could say something that could ease your pain in any way. We are here and we are listening.

Original poster
minmooch · 14/12/2014 10:12

The lead up to Christmas without you is so very painful. Strangers wouldn't know. I should win an Oscar for my acting skills. I decorated your tree yesterday at your grave. How tragic. I can even barely acknowledge what I am doing because if I do the horror hits again and again and again. My child, my son, to live in this world without you is agony. I saw 2 shooting stars last night and I wished you were on them having the ride of your life. I hope there is more out there than this world as I want to be with you again, when it is my time. I stay here for your brother, to help him live his life. But death for me has no fear as you will be there. I love you with every beat of my heart and miss you with such agonising pain.

OP posts:
LilyTheSavage · 14/12/2014 14:52

Oscars for us all min.

I love your post and might have to steal it as you've said everything that I'm thinking.

Sending you love and strength. xx

Original poster
minmooch · 14/12/2014 23:10

Sending love right back at you Lily xx

OP posts:
upto11 · 18/12/2014 22:07

Thinking of you and Will a lot at this time, which must be so very, very hard for you. Sending love and strength.

X

magimedi · 20/12/2014 23:09

Min - I've been away & out of internet reach, but I have thought of you every day.

You have the Oscar from me - writ large in the sky.

I am just a stranger on a page but I send my love to you (& Lily) & will always be here to listen to you.

(((xxx)))

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